The generic text adventure thread.

Stump your fellow simians.
User avatar
Abdul Alhazred
Posts: 71428
Joined: Mon Jun 07, 2004 1:33 pm
Title: Yes, that one.
Location: Chicago
Has thanked: 3322 times
Been thanked: 1228 times

Re: The generic text adventure thread.

Post by Abdul Alhazred » Fri Aug 31, 2018 1:46 am

A hollow voice says "Plugh" :coolspecs:
Image "If I turn in a sicko, will I get a reward?"

"Yes! A BIG REWARD!" ====> Click here to turn in a sicko
Any man writes a mission statement spends a night in the box.
-- our mission statement plappendale

User avatar
gnome
Posts: 22194
Joined: Tue Jun 29, 2004 12:40 am
Location: New Port Richey, FL
Has thanked: 376 times
Been thanked: 403 times

Re: The generic text adventure thread.

Post by gnome » Sat Sep 01, 2018 2:57 pm

>resurrect thread
"If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight! Sun Tzu said that, and I'd say he knows a little bit more about fighting than you do, pal, because he invented it, and then he perfected it so that no living man could best him in the ring of honor. Then, he used his fight money to buy two of every animal on earth, and then he herded them onto a boat, and then he beat the crap out of every single one. And from that day forward any time a bunch of animals are together in one place it's called a zoo! (Beat) Unless it's a farm!"
--Soldier, TF2

User avatar
Pyrrho
Posts: 25957
Joined: Sat Jun 05, 2004 2:17 am
Title: Man in Black
Location: Division 6
Has thanked: 2723 times
Been thanked: 2785 times

Re: The generic text adventure thread.

Post by Pyrrho » Sun Sep 23, 2018 5:58 pm

The thread returns to life and quickly entangles your legs and is snaking toward your arms.
>_
The flash of light you saw in the sky was not a UFO. Swamp gas from a weather balloon was trapped in a thermal pocket and reflected the light from Venus.

User avatar
shemp
Posts: 5155
Joined: Thu Jun 10, 2004 12:16 pm
Title: gnat
Has thanked: 650 times
Been thanked: 461 times

Re: The generic text adventure thread.

Post by shemp » Sun Sep 23, 2018 6:07 pm

Cuts off own arms
>_
"It is not I who is mad! It is I who is crazy!" -- Ren Hoek

Freedom of choice
Is what you got
Freedom from choice
Is what you want

User avatar
ed
Posts: 33310
Joined: Tue Jun 08, 2004 11:52 pm
Title: Rhino of the Florida swamp
Has thanked: 451 times
Been thanked: 777 times

Re: The generic text adventure thread.

Post by ed » Sun Sep 23, 2018 8:56 pm

Realizing that the leaflet from 3 years ago remains unread, you unfold it.

It contains two words:


"Modulo"



And beneath it, written in what appears to be dried blood, the enigmatic word:


"Covfefe"
Last edited by ed on Sun Sep 23, 2018 10:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Wenn ich Kultur höre, entsichere ich meinen Browning!

User avatar
ed
Posts: 33310
Joined: Tue Jun 08, 2004 11:52 pm
Title: Rhino of the Florida swamp
Has thanked: 451 times
Been thanked: 777 times

Re: The generic text adventure thread.

Post by ed » Sun Sep 23, 2018 10:13 pm

bump
Wenn ich Kultur höre, entsichere ich meinen Browning!

User avatar
gnome
Posts: 22194
Joined: Tue Jun 29, 2004 12:40 am
Location: New Port Richey, FL
Has thanked: 376 times
Been thanked: 403 times

Re: The generic text adventure thread.

Post by gnome » Sun Sep 23, 2018 10:23 pm

>Put the cofvefe into the modulo
"If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight! Sun Tzu said that, and I'd say he knows a little bit more about fighting than you do, pal, because he invented it, and then he perfected it so that no living man could best him in the ring of honor. Then, he used his fight money to buy two of every animal on earth, and then he herded them onto a boat, and then he beat the crap out of every single one. And from that day forward any time a bunch of animals are together in one place it's called a zoo! (Beat) Unless it's a farm!"
--Soldier, TF2

User avatar
shemp
Posts: 5155
Joined: Thu Jun 10, 2004 12:16 pm
Title: gnat
Has thanked: 650 times
Been thanked: 461 times

Re: The generic text adventure thread.

Post by shemp » Sun Sep 23, 2018 10:28 pm

>Put the lime in the coconut
"It is not I who is mad! It is I who is crazy!" -- Ren Hoek

Freedom of choice
Is what you got
Freedom from choice
Is what you want

User avatar
Pyrrho
Posts: 25957
Joined: Sat Jun 05, 2004 2:17 am
Title: Man in Black
Location: Division 6
Has thanked: 2723 times
Been thanked: 2785 times

Re: The generic text adventure thread.

Post by Pyrrho » Sun Sep 23, 2018 11:00 pm

You cut off your arms and put the covfefe into the modulo and the lime in the coconut using your feet. You feel better until you realize that you drank toe jam.

>_
The flash of light you saw in the sky was not a UFO. Swamp gas from a weather balloon was trapped in a thermal pocket and reflected the light from Venus.

User avatar
Abdul Alhazred
Posts: 71428
Joined: Mon Jun 07, 2004 1:33 pm
Title: Yes, that one.
Location: Chicago
Has thanked: 3322 times
Been thanked: 1228 times

Re: The generic text adventure thread.

Post by Abdul Alhazred » Sun Sep 23, 2018 11:36 pm

> Plover. :coolspecs:
Image "If I turn in a sicko, will I get a reward?"

"Yes! A BIG REWARD!" ====> Click here to turn in a sicko
Any man writes a mission statement spends a night in the box.
-- our mission statement plappendale

User avatar
Pyrrho
Posts: 25957
Joined: Sat Jun 05, 2004 2:17 am
Title: Man in Black
Location: Division 6
Has thanked: 2723 times
Been thanked: 2785 times

Re: The generic text adventure thread.

Post by Pyrrho » Mon Sep 24, 2018 1:57 pm

A pipe wrench appears.
>_
The flash of light you saw in the sky was not a UFO. Swamp gas from a weather balloon was trapped in a thermal pocket and reflected the light from Venus.

User avatar
Abdul Alhazred
Posts: 71428
Joined: Mon Jun 07, 2004 1:33 pm
Title: Yes, that one.
Location: Chicago
Has thanked: 3322 times
Been thanked: 1228 times

Re: The generic text adventure thread.

Post by Abdul Alhazred » Mon Sep 24, 2018 1:58 pm

> Wave wrench.
Image "If I turn in a sicko, will I get a reward?"

"Yes! A BIG REWARD!" ====> Click here to turn in a sicko
Any man writes a mission statement spends a night in the box.
-- our mission statement plappendale

User avatar
Pyrrho
Posts: 25957
Joined: Sat Jun 05, 2004 2:17 am
Title: Man in Black
Location: Division 6
Has thanked: 2723 times
Been thanked: 2785 times

Re: The generic text adventure thread.

Post by Pyrrho » Mon Sep 24, 2018 5:31 pm

You haven't picked up the wrench.
There is a pipe wrench here.
>_
The flash of light you saw in the sky was not a UFO. Swamp gas from a weather balloon was trapped in a thermal pocket and reflected the light from Venus.

User avatar
ed
Posts: 33310
Joined: Tue Jun 08, 2004 11:52 pm
Title: Rhino of the Florida swamp
Has thanked: 451 times
Been thanked: 777 times

Re: The generic text adventure thread.

Post by ed » Mon Sep 24, 2018 5:36 pm

Not having arms, use of a pipe wrench is limited.

A sprite appears and repairs your arms
Wenn ich Kultur höre, entsichere ich meinen Browning!

User avatar
Abdul Alhazred
Posts: 71428
Joined: Mon Jun 07, 2004 1:33 pm
Title: Yes, that one.
Location: Chicago
Has thanked: 3322 times
Been thanked: 1228 times

Re:

Post by Abdul Alhazred » Mon Sep 24, 2018 5:46 pm

Suddenly you are hit by a truck. You are dead.

So is ed.

Game over. You have 15467890 points.

Play again?
Image "If I turn in a sicko, will I get a reward?"

"Yes! A BIG REWARD!" ====> Click here to turn in a sicko
Any man writes a mission statement spends a night in the box.
-- our mission statement plappendale

User avatar
ed
Posts: 33310
Joined: Tue Jun 08, 2004 11:52 pm
Title: Rhino of the Florida swamp
Has thanked: 451 times
Been thanked: 777 times

Re: The generic text adventure thread.

Post by ed » Mon Sep 24, 2018 6:14 pm

You find a leaflet from 3 years ago, you unfold it.

It contains two words:


"Modulo"



And beneath it, written in what appears to be dried blood, the enigmatic word:


"Covfefe"
Wenn ich Kultur höre, entsichere ich meinen Browning!

User avatar
Abdul Alhazred
Posts: 71428
Joined: Mon Jun 07, 2004 1:33 pm
Title: Yes, that one.
Location: Chicago
Has thanked: 3322 times
Been thanked: 1228 times

Re: The generic text adventure thread.

Post by Abdul Alhazred » Mon Sep 24, 2018 6:16 pm

A hollow voice says ...

:doglaugh:
Image "If I turn in a sicko, will I get a reward?"

"Yes! A BIG REWARD!" ====> Click here to turn in a sicko
Any man writes a mission statement spends a night in the box.
-- our mission statement plappendale

User avatar
Pyrrho
Posts: 25957
Joined: Sat Jun 05, 2004 2:17 am
Title: Man in Black
Location: Division 6
Has thanked: 2723 times
Been thanked: 2785 times

Re: The generic text adventure thread.

Post by Pyrrho » Mon Sep 24, 2018 8:37 pm

You see a small coin.
>_
The flash of light you saw in the sky was not a UFO. Swamp gas from a weather balloon was trapped in a thermal pocket and reflected the light from Venus.

User avatar
gnome
Posts: 22194
Joined: Tue Jun 29, 2004 12:40 am
Location: New Port Richey, FL
Has thanked: 376 times
Been thanked: 403 times

Re: The generic text adventure thread.

Post by gnome » Mon Sep 24, 2018 8:54 pm

>Examine coin
"If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight! Sun Tzu said that, and I'd say he knows a little bit more about fighting than you do, pal, because he invented it, and then he perfected it so that no living man could best him in the ring of honor. Then, he used his fight money to buy two of every animal on earth, and then he herded them onto a boat, and then he beat the crap out of every single one. And from that day forward any time a bunch of animals are together in one place it's called a zoo! (Beat) Unless it's a farm!"
--Soldier, TF2

User avatar
Pyrrho
Posts: 25957
Joined: Sat Jun 05, 2004 2:17 am
Title: Man in Black
Location: Division 6
Has thanked: 2723 times
Been thanked: 2785 times

Re: The generic text adventure thread.

Post by Pyrrho » Mon Sep 24, 2018 11:20 pm

You examine the coin. One one face is the head of Belwit the Flat. On the other face is the denomination: 1 Zorkmid. It is a Flathead coin of great antiquity.
>_
The flash of light you saw in the sky was not a UFO. Swamp gas from a weather balloon was trapped in a thermal pocket and reflected the light from Venus.