Why Florida is an awsome place to live

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Witness
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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by Witness » Wed May 08, 2019 12:08 am

Police: He was drunk. He rode a lawn mower. He hit a cop car. He’s a Florida man.

Gary Anderson, 68, also had cocaine in his system and his driver’s license has been suspended since Jimmy Carter was in the White House, according to Haines City police.
https://www.tampabay.com/news/publicsaf ... -20190506/

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Captain
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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by Captain » Sat May 11, 2019 3:01 pm

Image

...and a night in the box!
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shemp
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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by shemp » Sat May 11, 2019 5:11 pm

The gator was a willing participant!
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Giz
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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by Giz » Sat May 11, 2019 5:29 pm

A night in the gators box!

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ed
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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by ed » Sat May 11, 2019 5:30 pm

Florida Man Arrested for Having Sex with an Alligator
Rupert Darwin, 59, pictured, was arrested at his Everglades home after it was discovered he kept a 12-foot-long alligator, pictured, tied and blindfold for the last month, sexually assaulting the reptile multiple times a day.
Now that just will not stand. :x
Police responded after a man out of a nature hike happened to walk by Darwin’s house and saw Darwin having sex with the alligator in his backyard.

The witness heard Darwin say to the alligator, “Next time you try to kill a man, you best get the job done. Now you’re my bitch forever.”
This is a bit beyond even what I expect from my fellow floridians.
“It was the damn strangest thing I’ve ever seen,” the witness told police. “The gator didn’t even move. It was like it didn’t give a sh*t that man was having sex with it.”
Not sure what I can add to this. Whole story here
https://latest.com/2015/07/florida-man- ... alligator/
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Giz
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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by Giz » Sat May 11, 2019 5:48 pm

We may have reached peak Florida

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ed
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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by ed » Sat May 11, 2019 9:08 pm

I was thinking that. This thread might have to be archived
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Pyrrho
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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by Pyrrho » Sat May 11, 2019 10:33 pm

Everybody relax, it's fake news.

https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/man-a ... gator-sex/
Thug Viral is yet another fake news site that does not contain a disclaimer specifically identifying the site as a purveyor of fake news. There are other ways to document that the above-quoted story is non-factual, however:

First, the two photographs included with the article do not show either a sexually assaulted alligator nor a man who was arrested for sexually assaulting an alligator. The alligator photograph was taken in 2013 at Lake Wyman Park in Boca Raton, Florida, after a nine-foot alligator was captured there by local authorities.
The perp was in Illinois:
DuPage County authorities say a man sexually abused his pet peacock, which later was found dead in his garage.

David Beckmann, 64, was charged with misdemeanor animal cruelty after Roselle police said they learned about the abuse and subsequent death of the bird, named Phyl, while investigating another crime.

Beckmann was booked at the DuPage County jail on separate misdemeanor charges of battery and attempted indecent solicitation of a child. Both of those charges stem from a case in Roselle involving a child between the ages of 13 and 17, court records show.
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Abdul Alhazred
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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by Abdul Alhazred » Sat May 11, 2019 10:54 pm

It wasn't plausible.

A large cold blooded scaly cloaca wouldn't do the trick, even for a perv who thought it was "cute".

Floridians are not fools when it comes to molesting the livestock.

Right, ed? :p


Also the name "Darwin" is way too perfect for such a story. 8)
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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by Anaxagoras » Sun May 12, 2019 1:19 am

So it was fake but the real story was almost equally bizarre.
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ed
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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by ed » Sun May 12, 2019 1:31 am

It is claimed "fake". This is Florida after all.
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Witness
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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by Witness » Sun May 12, 2019 1:46 am

Florida man returns chunk of Stonehenge he swiped 60 years ago

Image
[Irrelevant but nice pic included.]
https://nypost.com/2019/05/10/florida-m ... years-ago/

I see ed is downsizing his collection.

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Abdul Alhazred
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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by Abdul Alhazred » Sun May 12, 2019 12:37 pm

ed wrote:
Sun May 12, 2019 1:31 am
It is claimed "fake". This is Florida after all.
When it comes to animal "loving" Floridians and available cloacas, only warm blooded feathered will do the trick.
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Abdul Alhazred
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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by Abdul Alhazred » Sun May 12, 2019 5:01 pm

Image "If I turn in a sicko, will I get a reward?"

"Yes! A BIG REWARD!" ====> Click here to turn in a sicko
Any man writes a mission statement spends a night in the box.
-- our mission statement plappendale

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ed
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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by ed » Sun May 12, 2019 8:47 pm

Image
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Witness
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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by Witness » Sun May 12, 2019 10:34 pm

Abdul Alhazred wrote:
Sun May 12, 2019 12:37 pm
ed wrote:
Sun May 12, 2019 1:31 am
It is claimed "fake". This is Florida after all.
When it comes to animal "loving" Floridians and available cloacas, only warm blooded feathered will do the trick.
I read it was practiced in some Chinese kitchens. So many stories…

Anyway, bon appétit !

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Witness
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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by Witness » Sun May 12, 2019 10:45 pm

Florida man guilty of threatening to behead Bernie Sanders “ISIS-style”

ORLANDO, Fla. (AP) — A Florida man has been convicted of leaving threatening voicemails for U.S. Sen. Bernie Sanders.

Court records show that a federal jury in Orlando found 57-year-old Robert Francis Pratersch guilty Tuesday of threatening a federal official and interstate transmission of a threat to injure. He faces up to 15 years in prison at a July 16 sentencing.

Federal prosecutors say Pratersch left three profanity-laced, anti-Semitic voicemail messages last fall at Sanders's office in Burlington, Vermont. Authorities say Pratersch threatened to behead Sanders, "ISIS-style," and videotape the execution. The remark was a reference to the Islamic State militant group.

Pratersch was indicted by a federal grand jury in February and arrested later that month in St. Cloud, Florida.
https://www.mysuncoast.com/2019/05/01/f ... sis-style/

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Pyrrho
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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by Pyrrho » Sun May 12, 2019 11:20 pm


The flash of light you saw in the sky was not a UFO. Swamp gas from a weather balloon was trapped in a thermal pocket and reflected the light from Venus.

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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by Anaxagoras » Mon May 13, 2019 11:31 am

So it was a scam after all. As some of us speculated at the beginning.
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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by Doctor X » Tue May 14, 2019 7:23 am

See, I would have done it for half the amount.

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