Why Florida is an awsome place to live

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Witness
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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by Witness »

Former prosecutor arrested for having sex with woman to make criminal charges go away

HIALEAH, Fla. - A former assistant state attorney with the 20th Judicial Circuit was arrested for having a sexual relationship with a woman as an offer to make her pending criminal charges go away.

Miami Dade police officers arrested Juan Mercado, 29, for the Florida Department of Law Enforcement that had an acting arrest warrant for him. The 20th Judicial Circuit covers Charlotte, Collier, Glades, Hendry, and Lee Counties.

The woman was being prosecuted for domestic battery, and Mercado offered to "make her case go away" in exchange for sex, according to the Florida Department of Law Enforcement.
https://www.nbc-2.com/story/41694364/fo ... es-go-away
Pyrrho
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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by Pyrrho »

Miami's peacock population is growing, and many neighbors are annoyed by the loud squawking noise, the poop, the destruction of their plants and the scratching of their cars. Others love the beautiful birds.

Andres Candela once felt lucky to live in his North Grove home. But now, he told Miami city commissioners at Thursday’s meeting, the massive infestation of peacocks has ruined his and his wife’s quality of life.

Peacocks have control of his neighborhood, he said. They mate into the night, poop in large piles and scratch cars as they travel in packs of 20 to 40 or more.

Candela told the commission the birds are ruining the last years of the couple’s lives in the place they once loved.
Read more here: https://www.miamiherald.com/news/local/ ... rylink=cpy
Witness
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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by Witness »

Abdul Alhazred wrote: Sun Feb 16, 2020 9:08 pm
... peacock ...
I seem to recall they are good eatin'. :Hungry2:
Since the Romans, at least.

Abdul Alhazred wrote: Sun Feb 16, 2020 9:08 pm Is the Larousse Gastronomique available online (in English)? :cowbell:
You can download it: https://archive.org/details/Dictionnair ... e/mode/2up
Witness
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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by Witness »

Florida city shuts down part of a park due to annual snake orgy

Things got quite sssspicy near Lake Hollingsworth in Lakeland, Florida, this week.
After residents began reporting snake sightings to the Lakeland Parks and Recreation Department, the department and the city's Public Works Department began investigating.
Turns out it's mating season for the Florida water snake, officials said, and a large group snakes have gathered near the lake for a giant orgy. Caution tape was put up around the area to increase public awareness of the snake orgy.

"It appears they have congregated for mating," the department said in a Facebook post. "They are non-venomous and generally not aggressive as long as people do not disturb them."
Once mating season is over, the department said the snakes should go their separate ways.

"They are an important part of the ecosystem and should not be disturbed," the department said, adding that these love gatherings are an annual occurrence.
Florida water snakes are a native species whose habitats include aquatic environments. They are generally found resting in tree limbs over water or basking on shorelines, the department said.
https://edition.cnn.com/2020/02/15/us/f ... index.html
WildCat
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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by WildCat »

Pyrrho wrote: Sun Feb 02, 2020 12:26 am https://nypost.com/2020/02/01/roving-ba ... t-florida/

Roving band of herpes-ridden monkeys now roaming northeast Florida

https://i.imgur.com/n2ztC3L.png
Looks like British monkeys.
ed
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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by ed »

We didn't ratify the 19th amendment until 1969 thus showing extreme common sense.
https://www.floridamemory.com/exhibits/ ... amendment/
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/ ... 868634.jpg
^^^^ Annoying woman who was late with the gator sammiches for her husband^^^^^^
Witness
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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by Witness »

Florida Republican Party Facebook Pages Managed from Turkmenistan

Florida’s official Republican Party Facebook page, along with nine other Florida Republican county Facebook pages, have a page manager located in Turkmenistan, a country in Central Asia with no public affiliation to Florida Republicans or political social media consultants. All ten of the Facebook page managers from Turkmenistan disappeared after Forensic News contacted the Florida GOP page owner for comment.

In addition to the Florida state GOP page, Collier, Flagler, Highlands, Hillsborough, Leon, Osceola, Palm Beach, Pinellas, and Wakulla Counties also showed a Turkmenistan manager. Those pages also show at least one American manager.

Because Facebook does not require page managers to reveal their names, there is no way to know who is managing the pages from Turkmenistan. There was, however, a page owner, the person who runs the entire Florida GOP Facebook page, listed as longtime GOP social media strategist Jordan Gibson.

Ms. Gibson did not respond to a request for comment.

Facebook posts also show Ms. Gibson previously worked as New Media Director for the Republican Party of Hillsborough County, one of the other Florida counties that showed a Facebook page manager located in Turkmenistan. After Forensic News reached out to Ms. Gibson, she was removed as the page owner and replaced by the Republican Party of Florida.

Facebook instituted certain transparency rules in 2019, following a 2016 presidential election in which Internet Research Agency (IRA) employees with strong links to the Russian government created false Facebook pages, personas, and political advertisements to influence American opinions and votes.
https://forensicnews.net/2020/02/20/flo ... kmenistan/

Creating jobs in Murica. :mrgreen:
Witness
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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by Witness »

Abdul Alhazred wrote: Sat Feb 22, 2020 1:38 am Facebook as such is evil.
In this case it's not Facebook.
Witness
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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by Witness »

Just aggravating circumstances. :wink:
ed
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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by ed »

Witness wrote: Sat Feb 22, 2020 1:14 am
Florida Republican Party Facebook Pages Managed from Turkmenistan

Florida’s official Republican Party Facebook page, along with nine other Florida Republican county Facebook pages, have a page manager located in Turkmenistan, a country in Central Asia with no public affiliation to Florida Republicans or political social media consultants. All ten of the Facebook page managers from Turkmenistan disappeared after Forensic News contacted the Florida GOP page owner for comment.

In addition to the Florida state GOP page, Collier, Flagler, Highlands, Hillsborough, Leon, Osceola, Palm Beach, Pinellas, and Wakulla Counties also showed a Turkmenistan manager. Those pages also show at least one American manager.

Because Facebook does not require page managers to reveal their names, there is no way to know who is managing the pages from Turkmenistan. There was, however, a page owner, the person who runs the entire Florida GOP Facebook page, listed as longtime GOP social media strategist Jordan Gibson.

Ms. Gibson did not respond to a request for comment.

Facebook posts also show Ms. Gibson previously worked as New Media Director for the Republican Party of Hillsborough County, one of the other Florida counties that showed a Facebook page manager located in Turkmenistan. After Forensic News reached out to Ms. Gibson, she was removed as the page owner and replaced by the Republican Party of Florida.

Facebook instituted certain transparency rules in 2019, following a 2016 presidential election in which Internet Research Agency (IRA) employees with strong links to the Russian government created false Facebook pages, personas, and political advertisements to influence American opinions and votes.
https://forensicnews.net/2020/02/20/flo ... kmenistan/

Creating jobs in Murica. :mrgreen:
You clearly hate diversity and are probbly a racist, white and male. Like the leading democratic candidates, but I digress.

Tell me, how many Turkmenistani's do YOU have working for you?

QE fucking D

No one can virtue signal like a Floridian.
Witness
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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by Witness »

https://i.imgur.com/WATjwZq.jpg

Golden Eagle bar in Belle Glade, 1939.
Witness
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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by Witness »

Rainbow Snake Seen In Florida’s Ocala National Forest For First Time Since 1969

The Florida Fish and Wildlife Research Institute is reporting the first documented sighting of a rainbow snake (Farancia erytrogramma) in the Ocala National Forest. It is apparently the first such sighting of the elusive species since 1969.

The institute wrote on its Facebook page that the Florida Museum of Natural History confirmed that the sighting is the first in Marion County, FL since 1969.

“Our biologists speculate the recent drawdown of Rodman Reservoir had this rainbow snake on the move,” the institute wrote on Facebook.

The rainbow snake, also known as the eel moccasin, is a non-venomous colubrid snake that is primarily aquatic and feeds on eels, frogs, tadpoles and other amphibians. In addition to being a strong swimmer, the reptile is a proficient burrower as well. It grows to about 36-48 inches (91–122 cm) in length, with larger specimens reaching up to 66 inches (168 cm). They are said to inhabit tidal mud flats, creeks, lakes and marshes.
http://www.reptilesmagazine.com/Rainbow ... GUo2q84bEg
ed
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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by ed »

Yet more diversity.
Rob Lister
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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by Rob Lister »

Rainbow snake.

Pretty nonvenomous.

Pretty. Nonvenomous.
Witness
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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by Witness »

Rob Lister wrote: Sun Feb 23, 2020 3:48 pm Pretty. Nonvenomous.
Hey, it's Florida, not Australia.
Witness
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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by Witness »

GOP Lawmaker Who Voted Against Paid Sick Leave in Florida Takes Paid Leave From Congress

Rep. Matt Gaetz, R-Fla., decided to self-quarantine this week after coming in contact with an individual who tested positive for a novel coronavirus, which causes the disease Covid-19, at the Conservative Political Action Conference late last month.

But Gaetz’s decision to take time away from his job at Congress without the fear of losing pay or being fired is a right few Americans share. In fact, Gaetz voted to prohibit Florida residents from sharing that right.

Gaetz’s office did not respond to a request for comment. The lawmaker has since tested negative for the SARS-CoV-2 virus but is continuing to self-quarantine “in an abundance of caution.” Members of Congress get paid a salary of $174,000 or more no matter what. They do not have to vote or be present in D.C., and Gaetz has missed votes all week.
https://theintercept.com/2020/03/12/mat ... ronavirus/
WildCat
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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by WildCat »

Just for the record: last Friday driving down Estero Blvd. in Bonita Springs I saw the police arresting a woman in a tiny thong bikini, handcuffed behind her back. Possibly the most Florida thing I've seen so far.

And it was in the driveway of a beachfront mansion, not on the beach.
Pyrrho
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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by Pyrrho »

https://www.mlive.com/news/saginaw-bay- ... kyard.html
Michigan woman finds missing dog from Florida in her backyard

Kris Gibson knew Simba the Dog was lost. She had no idea just how far from home he was.

Gibson met Simba on Thursday, March 5 when she let her dog out the back door of her Mount Morris Township home and saw the gentle giant standing at her fence. She lured him into the backyard using a bag of treats, she said.

She took him to Mayfair Animal Hospital, located at 8025 Clio Road in Mt. Morris, to have him scanned for a microchip. She was surprised to find out Simba’s owner lived in Florida.

Kassidy Gruno, a veterinary assistant at Mayfair Animal Hospital, said Simba has apparently been missing for about two and a half months. She was shocked at how far the dog had come, she said.
https://i.imgur.com/NK3Wujm.jpg
Witness
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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by Witness »

https://old.reddit.com/r/florida/commen ... n_brevard/
shuize
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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by shuize »

Witness wrote: Thu Mar 19, 2020 2:13 am https://old.reddit.com/r/florida/commen ... n_brevard/

Well, it’s not like there are any old people in Florida or anything.
robinson
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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by robinson »

Floridians want the old people to die
ed
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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by ed »

Easy there kimosabe.
Witness
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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by Witness »

https://old.reddit.com/r/florida/commen ... keechobee/
Witness
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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by Witness »

WildCat
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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by WildCat »

Left Fort Myers Beach yesterday afternoon in 87 degree sunshine... arrived back in Chicago 24 hours later in snow with no sun in sight.

Fuck.
ed
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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by ed »

You passed my house, more or less.
WildCat
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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by WildCat »

ed wrote: Mon Mar 23, 2020 1:49 am You passed my house, more or less.
I did see one of your friends...

Witness
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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by Witness »

Florida residents pack into megachurch after pastor promises cure for coronavirus

While scientists and doctors are urging people to social-distance to stop the spread of the coronavirus, one Florida megachurch bucked the trend to host their own service on Sunday that packed people in with a dangerous crowd.

The River Church in Tampa was packed with people looking for hope, TMZ reported Sunday. Pastor Rodney Howard-Browne has denounced the social distancing claiming that he can cure the coronavirus just like he did with the Zika virus (which still exists).

Howard-Browne promised his flock that he would never close the church, regardless of what scientists and doctors say.

“We are not stopping anything. I’ve got news for you, this church will never close. The only time the church will close is when the Rapture is taking place,” he said two weeks ago.

Many churches are still doing their services, but have taken it to stream video where people can watch on YouTube or Facebook on Sunday mornings from the safety of their own homes.

“We brought in 13 machines that basically kill every virus in the place, and uh, if somebody walks through the door it’s like, it kills everything on them. If they sneeze, it shoots it down at like 100 mph. It’ll neutralize it in split seconds. We have the most sterile building in, I don’t know, all of America,” he said, promising his church was clean.
https://www.rawstory.com/2020/03/florid ... ronavirus/

Machines? Florida Man™ needs no stinkin' machines, he's naturally immune to any feeble virus, having been raised in the swamps wrestling gators, biting pythons and feeding on trilobites.

Like ed.
Rob Lister
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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by Rob Lister »

His twitter is a trip
https://twitter.com/rhowardbrowne?ref_s ... r%5Eauthor
Witness
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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by Witness »

https://i.imgur.com/xKCHA2v.jpg
ed
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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by ed »

IMG_20200402.jpg
gnome
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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by gnome »

I think that Gov. DeSantis needs to start issuing alligators to public use for this purpose.
Witness
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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by Witness »

Every single VA hospital in Florida just ordered a refrigerated morgue trailer

https://i.imgur.com/NIG7Tqu.jpg
https://qz.com/1831158/covid-19-every-f ... le-morgue/

What the title says.
Grammatron
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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by Grammatron »

Witness wrote: Sat Apr 04, 2020 12:00 am
Every single VA hospital in Florida just ordered a refrigerated morgue trailer
What the title says.
Cropped the picture to fit with the title.

https://i.imgur.com/cRScOxY.jpg
Witness
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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by Witness »

↑ Well spotted. It's a Reuters stock picture:

https://i.imgur.com/yqI5vuU.png

:mrgreen:
ed
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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by ed »

But taken in Fla!!!
Witness
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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by Witness »

https://i.imgur.com/6BtDhkH.jpg

Who are these pussies who don't use gators? :x
Witness
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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by Witness »

From last year:
A Giant Bird Killed Its Owner. Now It Could Be Yours.

There will be colorful macaws, lithe lemurs and cackling Kookaburras for sale at an event billed by organizers as “the dispersal of the animal estate of Marvin Hajos.” But the animal that is likely to get the most attention is the giant bird that killed Mr. Hajos this month.

That bird — a hulking, flightless cassowary with a daggerlike claw on each foot — will go up for auction on Saturday alongside about one hundred other exotic animals that Mr. Hajos, 75, kept on his property near Gainesville, Fla. (Several other cassowaries are also slated to go on the auction block.)

Mr. Hajos fell between two cassowary pens on April 12 and was attacked through the fence by at least one of the birds, said Jeff Taylor, the deputy chief of Alachua County Fire Rescue. When rescue workers arrived they found him grievously injured on the ground between the two pens. An angry bird stood in one of the pens.

...

Cassowaries have a violent reputation but human fatalities appear to be rare. According to Scientific American, the last recorded cassowary-on-human killing happened in April 1926, when a bird slit the throat of a 16-year-old boy in Australia who had fallen while running from it.
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/04/24/us/c ... orida.html

Florida man first cassowary casualty since 1926.

Yet they would be nice, gallumphing around lake ed. :)
Pyrrho
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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by Pyrrho »

https://www.npr.org/sections/coronaviru ... l-business
World Wrestling Entertainment resumed its live televised shows Monday at its facility in Orlando without fans present. After weeks of airing taped pro wrestling matches, WWE received permission last week with a signed order from Florida's Emergency Management Director. The order says "employees at a professional sports and media production with a national audience" are exempt from a stay-at-home order as long as "the location is closed to the general public."

The order was signed April 9. At a press conference Monday, Orange County Mayor Jerry Demings said when Florida Governor Ron DeSantis ordered a statewide lockdown April 1, at first, WWE was not exempted. "With some conversation with the governor's office regarding the governor's order, they were deemed an essential business," Demings said. "And so therefore, they were allowed to remain open."
sparks
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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by sparks »

Because, like FakeNews, the average Umercan idiot can't get enough of FakeSports either. :)