Not Suitable for Kitten Pics Thread

This is our lounge area. Feel free to come in and get acquainted!
User avatar
asthmatic camel
Posts: 18478
Joined: Sat Jun 05, 2004 1:53 pm
Title: Forum commie nun.
Location: Stirring the porridge with my spurtle.

Re: Not Suitable for Kitten Pics Thread

Post by asthmatic camel » Mon Mar 11, 2019 6:41 am

Image
Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.

User avatar
Anaxagoras
Posts: 24425
Joined: Wed Mar 19, 2008 5:45 am
Location: Yokohama/Tokyo, Japan

Re: Not Suitable for Kitten Pics Thread

Post by Anaxagoras » Mon Mar 11, 2019 6:55 am

Reported.

Won't be long now.
A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool.
William Shakespeare

User avatar
sparks
Posts: 15167
Joined: Fri Oct 26, 2007 4:13 pm
Location: Friar McWallclocks Bar -- Where time stands still while you lean over!

Re: Not Suitable for Kitten Pics Thread

Post by sparks » Mon Mar 11, 2019 5:04 pm

Enjoy that cup of coffee Bubbee. It might be your last.

Gettin' old ain't for pussies.
You can lead them to knowledge, but you can't make them think.

User avatar
ed
Posts: 35069
Joined: Tue Jun 08, 2004 11:52 pm
Title: The Hero of Sukhbataar

Re: Not Suitable for Kitten Pics Thread

Post by ed » Mon Mar 11, 2019 5:09 pm

Witness wrote:
Wed Mar 06, 2019 12:01 am

https://i.imgur.com/ad49TuC.gifv
and that, my foreign friend, is what makes america great. Reminds me of D-Day.
Wenn ich Kultur höre, entsichere ich meinen Browning!

User avatar
sparks
Posts: 15167
Joined: Fri Oct 26, 2007 4:13 pm
Location: Friar McWallclocks Bar -- Where time stands still while you lean over!

Re: Not Suitable for Kitten Pics Thread

Post by sparks » Mon Mar 11, 2019 5:16 pm

Swimming ashore with a tuna fish sandwich?


What?

What about your freedoms and shit?
You can lead them to knowledge, but you can't make them think.

User avatar
Abdul Alhazred
Posts: 75537
Joined: Mon Jun 07, 2004 1:33 pm
Title: Yes, that one.
Location: Chicago

Re: Not Suitable for Kitten Pics Thread

Post by Abdul Alhazred » Mon Mar 11, 2019 11:15 pm

Image "If I turn in a sicko, will I get a reward?"

"Yes! A BIG REWARD!" ====> Click here to turn in a sicko
Any man writes a mission statement spends a night in the box.
-- our mission statement plappendale

User avatar
Witness
Posts: 20714
Joined: Thu Sep 19, 2013 5:50 pm

Re: Not Suitable for Kitten Pics Thread

Post by Witness » Tue Mar 12, 2019 4:02 am

ed wrote:
Mon Mar 11, 2019 5:09 pm
and that, my foreign friend, is what makes america great. Reminds me of D-Day.
A soaked chicken with a dead fish? :P



Image

User avatar
asthmatic camel
Posts: 18478
Joined: Sat Jun 05, 2004 1:53 pm
Title: Forum commie nun.
Location: Stirring the porridge with my spurtle.

Re: Not Suitable for Kitten Pics Thread

Post by asthmatic camel » Tue Mar 12, 2019 5:05 am

Meanwhile, back in Stockport...

Image

BREAKING NEWS.

MAN HAS SANDWICH SURGICALLY REMOVED FROM ANUS AFTER DEMANDING ONE FROM WIFE TO CELEBRATE INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S DAY

A 34-year-old man from Stockport in south Manchester is currently recovering in hospital after his wife inserted a full coronation chicken sandwich on wholemeal bread into his rectal cavity.


According to reports, Mick from Offerton had originally approached his wife Claire and said, ‘Happy International Women’s Day sweetheart – now make me a sandwich.’

A neighbour said, ‘I overheard a horrific shrieking sound from next door at around half past twelve, and quickly afterwards it turned into a sort of whimper.’


‘I thought that things were a bit odd as shortly beforehand I swore I heard her say, ‘Guess why I’ve buttered the outside as well, you misogynistic prick?’

‘The ambulance arrived after that, but thankfully he didn’t need a stretcher as he was able to John Wayne it into the back of the vehicle.’

Dr Julian Ringpiece is in charge of the Proctology Department at Steppinghill Hospital, and he told the Talent News Network that the procedure was particularly tricky as Claire had opted for wholemeal instead of white bread.

He added, ‘Anal enzymes take far longer to react with wholemeal bread, so in the end we were forced to perform a pioneering procedure that involves attaching electrodes to the sphincter and forcing a number of contractions to push the foreign body out.’


‘At one point his back passage was dilated by 10cm.’

A spokesperson for GMP Police has confirmed that no charges will be brought as she was ‘provoked.’

PCO Elaine Peacie said, ‘If that had been me, I would have made sure that he would have ended up wearing it like a curry and sultana gum shield.’

‘It should have been a baguette.’
Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.

User avatar
asthmatic camel
Posts: 18478
Joined: Sat Jun 05, 2004 1:53 pm
Title: Forum commie nun.
Location: Stirring the porridge with my spurtle.

Re: Not Suitable for Kitten Pics Thread

Post by asthmatic camel » Tue Mar 12, 2019 5:17 am

Image
Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.

User avatar
Doctor X
Posts: 70693
Joined: Fri Jun 04, 2004 8:09 pm
Title: Collective Messiah
Location: Your Mom

Re: Not Suitable for Kitten Pics Thread

Post by Doctor X » Tue Mar 12, 2019 5:42 am

And she did not even bother to toast it, the bitch.

--J.D.
Mob of the Mean: Free beanie, cattle-prod and Charley Fan Club!
"Doctor X is just treating you the way he treats everyone--as subhuman crap too dumb to breathe in after you breathe out."--Don
DocX: FTW.--sparks
"Doctor X wins again."--Pyrrho
"Never sorry to make a racist Fucktard cry."--His Humble MagNIfIcence
"It was the criticisms of Doc X, actually, that let me see more clearly how far the hypocrisy had gone."--clarsct
"I'd leave it up to Doctor X who has been a benevolent tyrant so far."--Grammatron
"Indeed you are a river to your people.
Shit. That's going to end up in your sig."--Pyrrho
"Try a twelve step program and accept Doctor X as your High Power."--asthmatic camel
"just like Doc X said." --gnome

ImageWS CHAMPIONS X4!!!! ImageNBA CHAMPIONS!! Stanley Cup!Image SB CHAMPIONS X6!!!!!! Image

User avatar
Abdul Alhazred
Posts: 75537
Joined: Mon Jun 07, 2004 1:33 pm
Title: Yes, that one.
Location: Chicago

Re: Not Suitable for Kitten Pics Thread

Post by Abdul Alhazred » Tue Mar 12, 2019 12:18 pm

asthmatic camel wrote:
Tue Mar 12, 2019 5:17 am
Image
When I heard it they were Polish.

Or did it happen more than once? 8)
Image "If I turn in a sicko, will I get a reward?"

"Yes! A BIG REWARD!" ====> Click here to turn in a sicko
Any man writes a mission statement spends a night in the box.
-- our mission statement plappendale

User avatar
Witness
Posts: 20714
Joined: Thu Sep 19, 2013 5:50 pm

Re: Not Suitable for Kitten Pics Thread

Post by Witness » Wed Mar 13, 2019 1:48 am

Image

Godzilla in the… uh… flesh.

User avatar
Giz
Posts: 2021
Joined: Mon Jul 12, 2004 5:07 pm
Location: UK

Re: Not Suitable for Kitten Pics Thread

Post by Giz » Wed Mar 13, 2019 2:56 am

Abdul Alhazred wrote:
Tue Mar 12, 2019 12:18 pm
asthmatic camel wrote:
Tue Mar 12, 2019 5:17 am
Image
When I heard it they were Polish.

Or did it happen more than once? 8)
For you Abdul:

“I met my girlfriend’s parents – and realised I once slept with her father”

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyl ... her-father

User avatar
Abdul Alhazred
Posts: 75537
Joined: Mon Jun 07, 2004 1:33 pm
Title: Yes, that one.
Location: Chicago

Re: Not Suitable for Kitten Pics Thread

Post by Abdul Alhazred » Wed Mar 13, 2019 1:45 pm

Giz wrote:
Wed Mar 13, 2019 2:56 am
“I met my girlfriend’s parents – and realised I once slept with her father”

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyl ... her-father
At least he knows there's no accidental incest. :)
Image "If I turn in a sicko, will I get a reward?"

"Yes! A BIG REWARD!" ====> Click here to turn in a sicko
Any man writes a mission statement spends a night in the box.
-- our mission statement plappendale

User avatar
Witness
Posts: 20714
Joined: Thu Sep 19, 2013 5:50 pm

Re: Not Suitable for Kitten Pics Thread

Post by Witness » Fri Mar 15, 2019 12:45 am


User avatar
Grammatron
Posts: 34374
Joined: Tue Jun 08, 2004 1:21 am
Location: Los Angeles, CA

Re: Not Suitable for Kitten Pics Thread

Post by Grammatron » Fri Mar 15, 2019 4:10 am


User avatar
ed
Posts: 35069
Joined: Tue Jun 08, 2004 11:52 pm
Title: The Hero of Sukhbataar

Re: Not Suitable for Kitten Pics Thread

Post by ed » Fri Mar 15, 2019 11:11 am

Witness wrote:
Tue Mar 12, 2019 4:02 am
ed wrote:
Mon Mar 11, 2019 5:09 pm
and that, my foreign friend, is what makes america great. Reminds me of D-Day.
A soaked chicken with a dead fish? :P



Image
Piffle. Tocqueville, realizing that the most "dangerous" bird of prey in all of Europe was the domestic chicken thought that rather than go for symbolic new world power and strength and aggression he would play off quintessential European strengths: effeteness and blurred gender, with the result that you provided.

Yes, were are impressed.
:doglaugh:
Wenn ich Kultur höre, entsichere ich meinen Browning!

User avatar
ed
Posts: 35069
Joined: Tue Jun 08, 2004 11:52 pm
Title: The Hero of Sukhbataar

Re: Not Suitable for Kitten Pics Thread

Post by ed » Fri Mar 15, 2019 11:13 am

Witness wrote:
Fri Mar 15, 2019 12:45 am

https://gfycat.com/glamorouspeskyglobefish
His second effort to epitomize the grandeur of Europe was somewhat less successful.
Wenn ich Kultur höre, entsichere ich meinen Browning!

User avatar
Witness
Posts: 20714
Joined: Thu Sep 19, 2013 5:50 pm

Re: Not Suitable for Kitten Pics Thread

Post by Witness » Fri Mar 15, 2019 11:19 pm

ed wrote:
Fri Mar 15, 2019 11:11 am
Piffle. Tocqueville, realizing that the most "dangerous" bird of prey in all of Europe was the domestic chicken thought that rather than go for symbolic new world power and strength and aggression he would play off quintessential European strengths: effeteness and blurred gender, with the result that you provided.

Yes, were are impressed.
:doglaugh:
Image

“For my own part I wish the Bald Eagle had not been chosen the Representative of our Country. He is a Bird of bad moral Character. He does not get his Living honestly. You may have seen him perched on some dead Tree near the River, where, too lazy to fish for himself, he watches the Labour of the Fishing Hawk; and when that diligent Bird has at length taken a Fish, and is bearing it to his Nest for the Support of his Mate and young Ones, the Bald Eagle pursues him and takes it from him.

With all this injustice, he is never in good case but like those among men who live by sharping & robbing he is generally poor and often very lousy. Besides he is a rank coward: The little King Bird not bigger than a Sparrow attacks him boldly and drives him out of the district. He is therefore by no means a proper emblem for the brave and honest Cincinnati of America who have driven all the King birds from our country…

“I am on this account not displeased that the Figure is not known as a Bald Eagle, but looks more like a Turkey. For the Truth the Turkey is in Comparison a much more respectable Bird, and withal a true original Native of America… He is besides, though a little vain & silly, a Bird of Courage, and would not hesitate to attack a Grenadier of the British Guards who should presume to invade his Farm Yard with a red Coat on.”

– Benjamin Franklin, Letter to his daughter.
:mrgreen:

User avatar
Anaxagoras
Posts: 24425
Joined: Wed Mar 19, 2008 5:45 am
Location: Yokohama/Tokyo, Japan

Re: Not Suitable for Kitten Pics Thread

Post by Anaxagoras » Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:43 am

Image

Sorry Abdul. :(
A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool.
William Shakespeare