Ping: A Chemist

[Nyarlathotep]

I am amused that this thread has far outlived the one it was parodying

[Grammatron]

[gfycat]WhichCreamyAmericancicada[/gfycat]

[Doctor X]

I would have thumbed Your Mom you up if he put the Na⁺ in the H₂O.

--J.D.

[Anaxagoras]

College chemistry student, 22, charged with attempted murder for slowly poisoning his black roommate and scrawling racist graffiti on his bed

His name was Yang, not Ping, but pretty close.

[Grammatron]

[Bruce]

I use those same autopipets at work. Never thought of wielding them like daggers.

[Abdul Alhazred]

[Witness]

[Abdul Alhazred]

[Bruce]

Crazy old koot. No blast shield. No splatter shield. No secondary containment. Not even a disposable graduant student to do the dangerous hands on work.

Wonder what the camera guy was thinking when he said the whole thing would explode if mixed too vigorously, like if he had poured that last solution just a little bit faster.....or if he had slipped and dropped that beaker with his shaky hands and slippery nitrile gloves.....

[Abdul Alhazred]

[ceptimus]

[Witness]

[white phosphorus]

[Rob Lister]

What a horrible weapon. As weapons go, I suppose.

[Witness]

What a horrible weapon. As weapons go, I suppose.

Indeed.

German woman picks up WW2 white phosphorus bomb after mistaking it for amber

Walker on banks of River Elbe near Hamburg put the object in the pocket of her jacket which later burst into flames

A woman in Germany narrowly avoided injury after she picked up a shiny object on a beach she believed to be amber, but which turned out to be part of a Second World War bomb that later burst into flames.

The 41-year-old was out walking on the banks of the Elbe river near Hamburg when she plucked the small stone-like item from wet sand and put it in the pocket of her jacket.

But the souvenir turned out to be a centimetre-long chunk of white phosphorus – which ignited just moments later in the incident near the town of Wedel.

Passersby alerted the woman that her jacket was ablaze where she had placed it on the ground, and she managed to avoid any injuries.

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/worl ... 79121.html

[Abdul Alhazred]

[Abdul Alhazred]

[Witness]

[Rob Lister]

A physicist, a biologist, and a chemist were going to the ocean for the first time. The physicist saw the ocean and was fascinated by the waves. He said he wanted to do some research on the fluid dynamics of the waves and walked into the ocean. Obviously, he was drowned and never returned.

The biologist said he wanted to do research on the flora and fauna inside the ocean and walked inside the ocean. He, too, never returned.

The chemist waited for a long time and afterward, wrote the observation, “The physicist and the biologist are soluble in ocean water.”

hattip: internet

[Witness]