A Thought for the Day

[Doctor X]

Standards and Practices would come up and say, "You can't say 'midget.'" . . . The woman [from Standards and Practices.--Ed.] said, "You can't say 'midget' on air! That's like saying 'the N-Word!'"

And John said, "No, it's not! Because you just said 'midget!'"

--Bill Hader, Kevin Pollak's Chat Show

[Witness]

[Pyrrho]

@LLW90210

minneapolis: "thanks, i got them on sale"

los angeles: "thanks, i saw them on instagram"

san francisco: "thanks, they're cruelty free"

new york: "the fuck you say about my shoes"

[Witness]

[shemp]

At 60, I'm getting a lot closer to the "die" part. And I'm still working. I just want a few years between "work" and "die."

[Witness]

At 60, I'm getting a lot closer to the "die" part. And I'm still working. I just want a few years between "work" and "die."

You have no idea how fast these "few years" will pass.

[Witness]

[ed]

At 60, I'm getting a lot closer to the "die" part. And I'm still working. I just want a few years between "work" and "die."

You have no idea how fast these "few years" will pass.

Sadly too true.

[sparks]

Short time from womb to tomb, to be sure.

[Witness]

[Bruce]

Is cunt power measured in twatt•hrs?

[Bruce]

Cool. Got a thumbs up from sparks for my electric joke.

[Doctor X]

You were shocked.

--J.D.

[sparks]

Cool. Got a thumbs up from sparks for my electric joke.

Trying to come up with the appropriate equations defining same, but I've been drinking, and it's ... difficult .. you know.

[Fid]

Is cunt power measured in twatt•hrs?

Seriously bro, you should write a book.

[Doctor X]

I have said this a hundred times, and I will say it again! There's nobody more dangerous than a sexually frustrated dude with a neckbeard connected to the fucking internet!

--Caitlin Cutt, Unpopular Opinion

--J.D.

[Witness]

An idea starts to be interesting when you get scared of taking it to its logical conclusion.
Nassim Nicholas Taleb, The Bed of Procrustes.

[Pyrrho]

Link: https://twitter.com/seanbgoneill/status/1004779305774219265

[Witness]

[Doctor X]

DUFFEL BLOG PRESENTS: 10 military skills that will get you fired in the civilian world:

• 2. Using the F-word in every sentence, multiple times
  5. Basing all behavior off a disregard for your own mortality
  7. Using gender neutral terms of address like ‘shitbird’ and ‘motherfucker’
  10. Using inspirational quotes in your self-aggrandizing email signatures

  “Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everybody you meet.” Go ahead, put that quote in your email signature at your corporate job. We dare you. POG.

--J.D.