## Official Fucking Asshole of the Week Thread

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Abdul Alhazred
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### Re: Official Fucking Asshole of the Week Thread

Good thing there really isn't a God.
Any man writes a mission statement spends a night in the box.
-- our mission statement plappendale

asthmatic camel
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### Re: Official Fucking Asshole of the Week Thread

Even if there is, (which I don't believe at all), there's only one direction I'm heading...

Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.

shemp
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### Re: Official Fucking Asshole of the Week Thread

Abdul Alhazred wrote:
Sat Dec 08, 2018 11:39 pm
Good thing there really isn't a God.
Good thing for it. Sucka would get the shit kicked outta it.
"It is not I who is mad! It is I who is crazy!" -- Ren Hoek

Freedom of choice
Is what you got
Freedom from choice
Is what you want

Witness
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### Re: Official Fucking Asshole of the Week Thread

Not really new, but always pleasant to consider:

Anaxagoras
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### Re: Official Fucking Asshole of the Week Thread

Abdul Alhazred wrote:
Sat Dec 08, 2018 10:47 pm
Pyrrho wrote:
Sat Dec 08, 2018 9:57 pm
Like the Creationist who, when asked "If God created the heavens and the Earth at the same time, how could starlight be visible considering that it would have taken eons for the light to travel from the stars to Earth?"

"Maybe God created the light between the stars and the Earth when he did that."
Just a modern elaboration of the old Jewish "Adam had a navel and a beard" routine. Despite those things being "evidence" of earlier development that never happened, because he was newly created.
The one I always wonder about is, if Adam and Eve were the first couple, and the Bible doesn't really mention other Adams and Eves created separately, where did the husbands and wives for Adam and Eve's children come from? And there's a similar problem with the Noah story. I guess there was just a lot of inbreeding in the beginning.
A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool.
William Shakespeare

shemp
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### Re: Official Fucking Asshole of the Week Thread

Anaxagoras wrote:
Sun Dec 09, 2018 4:04 am
Abdul Alhazred wrote:
Sat Dec 08, 2018 10:47 pm
Pyrrho wrote:
Sat Dec 08, 2018 9:57 pm
Like the Creationist who, when asked "If God created the heavens and the Earth at the same time, how could starlight be visible considering that it would have taken eons for the light to travel from the stars to Earth?"

"Maybe God created the light between the stars and the Earth when he did that."
Just a modern elaboration of the old Jewish "Adam had a navel and a beard" routine. Despite those things being "evidence" of earlier development that never happened, because he was newly created.
The one I always wonder about is, if Adam and Eve were the first couple, and the Bible doesn't really mention other Adams and Eves created separately, where did the husbands and wives for Adam and Eve's children come from? And there's a similar problem with the Noah story. I guess there was just a lot of inbreeding in the beginning.
The myth was poorly thought out and people were too stupid to question it.
"It is not I who is mad! It is I who is crazy!" -- Ren Hoek

Freedom of choice
Is what you got
Freedom from choice
Is what you want

Pyrrho
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### Re: Official Fucking Asshole of the Week Thread

I have it on good authority that the God of Genesis was a fucking asshole.
The flash of light you saw in the sky was not a UFO. Swamp gas from a weather balloon was trapped in a thermal pocket and reflected the light from Venus.

asthmatic camel
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### Re: Official Fucking Asshole of the Week Thread

The bible's a mess. Huge amounts of bullshit with a few verifiable facts thrown in.
Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.

Abdul Alhazred
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### Re: Official Fucking Asshole of the Week Thread

Anaxagoras wrote:
Sun Dec 09, 2018 4:04 am
The one I always wonder about is, if Adam and Eve were the first couple, and the Bible doesn't really mention other Adams and Eves created separately, where did the husbands and wives for Adam and Eve's children come from? And there's a similar problem with the Noah story. I guess there was just a lot of inbreeding in the beginning.
You are falling into the trap of trying to rationalize the story.

The best treatment of the issue was a short story by Martin Gardner (sorry I forget the title) where a talented religious painter discovers the theory of evolution and paints his impression of Adam and Eve as children.

Their parents look human in a general way, but you can tell by the eyes they have no souls.

Sorry I just gave away to sock-o ending.
Any man writes a mission statement spends a night in the box.
-- our mission statement plappendale

Abdul Alhazred
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### Re: Official Fucking Asshole of the Week Thread

shemp wrote:
Sun Dec 09, 2018 4:38 am
The myth was poorly thought out ...
Genesis in particular is a mish-mash of various sources.

Doctor X can give you the gruesome details.
Any man writes a mission statement spends a night in the box.
-- our mission statement plappendale

Rob Lister
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### Re: Official Fucking Asshole of the Week Thread

Abdul Alhazred wrote:
Sun Dec 09, 2018 12:16 pm
Anaxagoras wrote:
Sun Dec 09, 2018 4:04 am
The one I always wonder about is, if Adam and Eve were the first couple, and the Bible doesn't really mention other Adams and Eves created separately, where did the husbands and wives for Adam and Eve's children come from? And there's a similar problem with the Noah story. I guess there was just a lot of inbreeding in the beginning.
You are falling into the trap of trying to rationalize the story.

The best treatment of the issue was a short story by Martin Gardner (sorry I forget the title) where a talented religious painter discovers the theory of evolution and paints his impression of Adam and Eve as children.

Their parents look human in a general way, but you can tell by the eyes they have no souls.

Sorry I just gave away to sock-o ending.
It's worthwhile rationalizing because the same problem exists for evolution too. I like the soulless eyes bit though.

Anaxagoras
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Ex-Marlins President Brags About Fleecing Fans, Taxpayers in $1.2 Billion Team Sale "Thank you so much; thank you very much," a drunk-sounding Samson stammered into a microphone as Le Batard lumbered behind him. "Here's why I love when you guys boo me. Right. I want you to keep booing me. Because guess what? One-point-two billion. Fuck you!" A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool. William Shakespeare Doctor X Posts: 69160 Joined: Fri Jun 04, 2004 8:09 pm Title: Collective Messiah Location: Your Mom ### Re: Official Fucking Asshole of the Week Thread During a time of hyper-partisanship, when we should all look for reasons to come together, and not just to stare at Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez's college wet t-shirt video, we have these fucking assholes: Evangelical group calls for LGBT people to be removed from anti-lynching bill Yes, you read that correctly. Should anyone other than actual Nazis and MFYs fans not be covered by an anti-lynching bill? An evangelical nonprofit is asking lawmakers to remove language from a federal anti-lynching bill that protects Americans on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity before the legislation becomes law. NBC News reported Wednesday that the nonprofit group, Liberty Counsel, which is designated as a "hate group" by the Southern Poverty Law Center, is lobbying members of the House to remove language referring to "sexual orientation" and "gender identity" in the bill, which passed the Senate unanimously last month "Unanimously." You also read that correctly. "The old saying is once that camel gets the nose in the tent, you can't stop them from coming the rest of the way in," Mat Staver, the group's chairman, told conservative news outlet, OneNewsNow, according to NBC You cannot make up such stupid. “This is a way to slip it in under a so-called anti-lynching bill, and to then to sort of circle the wagon and then go for the [jugular] at some time in the future," he reportedly added. Yes. If you recognize humans as humans then, Heavens to Betsy, you cannot let them be murdered for being "different" than you! Why does not anyone see this?! The CHILDREN!!! Wait, does that mean not considering the lynching of a child who happens to be LGBTWhateverConsonant a hate crime does not harm a child? Norman! Coordinate! The bill, introduced by Sens. Kamala Harris (D-Calif.), Cory Booker (D-N.J.) and Tim Scott (R-S.C.), makes lynching punishable as a hate crime. Thirty-five other senators formally co-sponsored the bill, which was introduced in July and cleared the Judiciary Committee unanimously in October. It passed the full Senate by voice vote. The Swill What else was happening in the Senate Judiciary Committee at that time? --J.D. Mob of the Mean: Free beanie, cattle-prod and Charley Fan Club! "Doctor X is just treating you the way he treats everyone--as subhuman crap too dumb to breathe in after you breathe out."--Don DocX: FTW.--sparks "Doctor X wins again."--Pyrrho "Never sorry to make a racist Fucktard cry."--His Humble MagNIfIcence "It was the criticisms of Doc X, actually, that let me see more clearly how far the hypocrisy had gone."--clarsct "I'd leave it up to Doctor X who has been a benevolent tyrant so far."--Grammatron "Indeed you are a river to your people. Shit. That's going to end up in your sig."--Pyrrho "Try a twelve step program and accept Doctor X as your High Power."--asthmatic camel "just like Doc X said." --gnome WS CHAMPIONS X4!!!! NBA CHAMPIONS!! Stanley Cup! SB CHAMPIONS X6!!!!!! Nyarlathotep Posts: 48149 Joined: Fri Jun 04, 2004 2:50 pm ### Re: Official Fucking Asshole of the Week Thread You know how it goes. First you stop letting bigots murder gay people and the next thing you know we are all being forced to wear biker chaps and wear Freddy Mercury style mustaches by our Fabulous Gay Overlords. Bango Skank Awaits The Crimson King! Doctor X Posts: 69160 Joined: Fri Jun 04, 2004 8:09 pm Title: Collective Messiah Location: Your Mom ### Re: Official Fucking Asshole of the Week Thread Yeah, and then we will all be forced to have Gay Marriages!! With gay people, Nyarl! Some of them could even be--where are my smelling salts?!--black! To take it serious, I have contended that this sort of crap is the same crap heaped on blacks and other "others" through history: a denial of humanity. People set up these artificial barriers so they do not have to accept the "others" as the same. "Why are blacks inferior? Well, they can't serve in the military, or vote, or go to the good schools with the smart white kids." Why are "gays different? Well, for one thing, they can't get married! They cannot become teachers or serve in the military!" It is a wonderfully sucktastic circular argument of suck. I could understand a bit of the conservative arguments against the term "hate crime" since who gets to define "hate?" Is insulting someone a "hate crime?" Does being "butt-hurt" make you a victim of a "hate crime?" Awesome. People did not lynch black people because they were bored. Or there were no white people around to lynch. It is the very definition of a crime driven by the hatred towards someone else based prejudices. I do find such criminals more dangerous since they have a continuous motive for violence. Blah . . . blah . . . blah . . . lecture . . . lecture . . . lecture. Notice, also, the level of hatred. It is very similar to someone arguing that you cannot "let blacks in the military" because that is a "slippery slope" to . . . THEY WILL BE IN YOUR DAUGHTER'S BROTHEL!!!1!! Concede that targeting someone based on something they do--whether "it is a choice or not"--is, like, you know, wrong is objectionable since--my smelling salts!--it might force us to accept them as humans. Anyways, I am probably ranting to the choir. --J.D. Mob of the Mean: Free beanie, cattle-prod and Charley Fan Club! "Doctor X is just treating you the way he treats everyone--as subhuman crap too dumb to breathe in after you breathe out."--Don DocX: FTW.--sparks "Doctor X wins again."--Pyrrho "Never sorry to make a racist Fucktard cry."--His Humble MagNIfIcence "It was the criticisms of Doc X, actually, that let me see more clearly how far the hypocrisy had gone."--clarsct "I'd leave it up to Doctor X who has been a benevolent tyrant so far."--Grammatron "Indeed you are a river to your people. Shit. That's going to end up in your sig."--Pyrrho "Try a twelve step program and accept Doctor X as your High Power."--asthmatic camel "just like Doc X said." --gnome WS CHAMPIONS X4!!!! NBA CHAMPIONS!! Stanley Cup! SB CHAMPIONS X6!!!!!! Anaxagoras Posts: 23249 Joined: Wed Mar 19, 2008 5:45 am Location: Yokohama/Tokyo, Japan ### Re: Official Fucking Asshole of the Week Thread "Evangelical group" https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liberty_Counsel Liberty Counsel has ties with Liberty University Law School, which was founded by the Rev. Jerry Falwell with the assistance of Liberty Counsel's Founder.[46][47] Holy shit. Liberty University is not some tiny little backwoods church in Bumfuck, Alabama. (I would expect this sort of thing from the Westboro Baptist Cunts) Liberty Counsel is a registered nonprofit with over$5 million in revenue and expenses reported in 2015.
A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool.
William Shakespeare

Doctor X
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### Re: Official Fucking Asshole of the Week Thread

Yup.

I have a very difficult time connecting the words "non-profit" to an evangelical organization, especially one founded by the Fat Certified Cunt Falwell.

--J.D.
Mob of the Mean: Free beanie, cattle-prod and Charley Fan Club!
"Doctor X is just treating you the way he treats everyone--as subhuman crap too dumb to breathe in after you breathe out."--Don
DocX: FTW.--sparks
"Doctor X wins again."--Pyrrho
"Never sorry to make a racist Fucktard cry."--His Humble MagNIfIcence
"It was the criticisms of Doc X, actually, that let me see more clearly how far the hypocrisy had gone."--clarsct
"I'd leave it up to Doctor X who has been a benevolent tyrant so far."--Grammatron
"Indeed you are a river to your people.
Shit. That's going to end up in your sig."--Pyrrho
"Try a twelve step program and accept Doctor X as your High Power."--asthmatic camel
"just like Doc X said." --gnome

WS CHAMPIONS X4!!!! NBA CHAMPIONS!! Stanley Cup! SB CHAMPIONS X6!!!!!!

Anaxagoras
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### Re: Official Fucking Asshole of the Week Thread

Yup. A non-profit doesn't necessarily mean a charity, nor does it mean that the people run it don't use it to enrich themselves. There's some really heinous examples of that. Non-profits that claim to help veterans but in reality give less than 10% of the money they raise to actual veterans while the cunt who runs it pays himself millions.
A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool.
William Shakespeare

Doctor X
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### Re: Official Fucking Asshole of the Week Thread

It is the United Way, Anax.

--J.D.
Mob of the Mean: Free beanie, cattle-prod and Charley Fan Club!
"Doctor X is just treating you the way he treats everyone--as subhuman crap too dumb to breathe in after you breathe out."--Don
DocX: FTW.--sparks
"Doctor X wins again."--Pyrrho
"Never sorry to make a racist Fucktard cry."--His Humble MagNIfIcence
"It was the criticisms of Doc X, actually, that let me see more clearly how far the hypocrisy had gone."--clarsct
"I'd leave it up to Doctor X who has been a benevolent tyrant so far."--Grammatron
"Indeed you are a river to your people.
Shit. That's going to end up in your sig."--Pyrrho
"Try a twelve step program and accept Doctor X as your High Power."--asthmatic camel
"just like Doc X said." --gnome

WS CHAMPIONS X4!!!! NBA CHAMPIONS!! Stanley Cup! SB CHAMPIONS X6!!!!!!

Anaxagoras
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Joined: Wed Mar 19, 2008 5:45 am
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### Re: Official Fucking Asshole of the Week Thread

Speaking of United Way, is that still a thing? Does the NFL still promote the United Way these days?
A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool.
William Shakespeare