The UK thread

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asthmatic camel
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Re: The UK thread

Post by asthmatic camel » Thu Oct 31, 2019 9:51 am

Abdul Alhazred wrote:
Wed Oct 30, 2019 2:38 pm
Are those generic carolers or UK politicians I should recognize?
Generic, probably. No-one there I recognise.
Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.

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Re: The UK thread

Post by asthmatic camel » Thu Oct 31, 2019 9:57 am

Giz wrote:
Wed Oct 30, 2019 7:12 pm
It’s grim up north.

“A teenage tree surgeon had his hand chopped off with an axe in an 'appalling' attack carried out by an armed mob sparked by a road rage row in Rochdale, a court heard.”

https://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk ... e-17107382
'Kinell! I hadn't heard about that. I used to play Lacrosse against Rochdale. Good club.
Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.

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Re: The UK thread

Post by Giz » Thu Oct 31, 2019 5:12 pm

Going to put this in the UK thread (though it is Ireland/Portugal)

“McDonald’s Portugal apologises for ‘Sundae Bloody Sundae’ ads“

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Re: The UK thread

Post by Doctor X » Thu Oct 31, 2019 8:08 pm

A horrible song, indeed.






What?

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solely
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Re: The UK thread

Post by solely » Thu Oct 31, 2019 10:01 pm

Had to be said.

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Re: The UK thread

Post by Anaxagoras » Thu Oct 31, 2019 11:16 pm

I can kinda see how someone would think that is a clever pun though. I was still in grade school when that song was popular and I didn't realize that it was about a historical event.
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Re: The UK thread

Post by Witness » Thu Oct 31, 2019 11:24 pm

'What a farce' - man 'dragged out of bed by police' after sending 'fatty' emails to female officer is cleared by jury in minutes

Frustrated man sent emails to police officer calling her 'useless' and 'fatty' after his case failed to progress as he expected

A frustrated victim of crime who sent emails to the female officer assigned to his case branding her 'fatty' and 'useless' was cleared by a jury in just 40 minutes in a 'farcical' prosecution.

William Beswick branded the case a 'farce' and claimed that prosecuting him was a complete over-reaction and a waste of taxpayers' money - and that she should be more "resilient" as a police officer of 20 years' service.

The policewoman's indignant objections to the words were branded "nonsense" and she was told that surely she had regularly heard far worse language at football matches and on rowdy Saturday nights.
https://www.grimsbytelegraph.co.uk/news ... ck-3482095

Homeless beggar taken to court after passer-by felt 'vulnerable'

The passer-by was asked for money and she said it "ruined her trip"

Image

A woman who has been begging on the streets of Yeovil for years has been given a conditional discharge after a passer-by said they felt "vulnerable".

Jane Irene Mulley was spotted sat on a part of Middle Street in the town asking passers-by if they had any change.

One member of the public said they were left feeling alarmed and vulnerable when the defendant begged for some money.

Another person she chose to beg from was an off-duty police officer and she was then charged.
https://www.somersetlive.co.uk/news/som ... er-3485930

The empire-conquering times seem to be over. :mrgreen:

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Re: The UK thread

Post by Giz » Thu Oct 31, 2019 11:49 pm

There’s no more stiff upper lip.

Dunkirk spirit is just a brand of gin

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Re: The UK thread

Post by asthmatic camel » Fri Nov 01, 2019 2:39 am

Heh.

Giz, I've allowed myself a very rare drink this evening so, should the following rant not meet my normal cynical, satirical standards do forgive me.

Britain is fucked.
Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.

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Re: The UK thread

Post by Doctor X » Fri Nov 01, 2019 3:20 am

Certainly if Mad Racist Jeremy takes power, but I do not expect that.

The fear is if the Tories do not win a majority, or their majority is too slim to overcome the anti-Brexiteers in their own party, everyone is right back where they are now: unable deliver a Brexit – any Brexit – which brings everyone right back to the current mess. I frankly doubt that even if the Tories have the "bestest day evah" they will win a large enough majority to force through a Brexit deal.

But "Britain is fucked" depends on whether or not Brexit is enough to convince enough Scots to demand another independence referendum. I am not sure that is the case, and without that the SNP has yet to convince a majority of Scots to actually vote for independence. Scots may "act out" by voting SNP; that does not mean voting for independence. Finally, one of the "threats" the European nations delivered for Cameron during the last independence referendum was that an independent Scotland would not, necessarily, be admitted to the EU. Maybe the EU will this time just to spite the remaining UK.

Norther Ireland is another subject. The border remains a problem no matter how much people try to "fudge" it. The real problem is that support for Northern Ireland remaining a part of the UK is waning. That will probably take another decade or so before it becomes a political reality.

Obviously, if the UK loses Scotland then Northern Ireland than it is just "England" and a bunch of Goat Fuckers in Whales . . . and some weird people who think "Cornwall" is relevant to something.

In the rain.

– J.D.
Mob of the Mean: Free beanie, cattle-prod and Charley Fan Club!
"Doctor X is just treating you the way he treats everyone--as subhuman crap too dumb to breathe in after you breathe out."--Don
DocX: FTW.--sparks
"Doctor X wins again."--Pyrrho
"Never sorry to make a racist Fucktard cry."--His Humble MagNIfIcence
"It was the criticisms of Doc X, actually, that let me see more clearly how far the hypocrisy had gone."--clarsct
"I'd leave it up to Doctor X who has been a benevolent tyrant so far."--Grammatron
"Indeed you are a river to your people.
Shit. That's going to end up in your sig."--Pyrrho
"Try a twelve step program and accept Doctor X as your High Power."--asthmatic camel
"just like Doc X said." --gnome

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Re: The UK thread

Post by asthmatic camel » Fri Nov 01, 2019 3:37 am

On a more serious, if somewhat hazy note, I agree with the Good Doctor™

A likely outcome is another hungish parliament with a weak prime minister unable to do very much and Brexit going on and on and on and on....

Meanwhile, British businesses are already beginning to suffer badly and, when all's said and done, that's where the money comes from to pay for everything.
Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.

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Re: The UK thread

Post by Giz » Fri Nov 01, 2019 3:43 am

I think a large number of English would happily wave goodbye to norn iron ( and probably Scotland too!)

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Re: The UK thread

Post by Doctor X » Fri Nov 01, 2019 3:50 am

I think the only ones who want Northern Ireland to remain are the unrepentant religious racists trying to pretend they are something they are not: English.

Scotland remains tied, like Quebec, to the Great Fact of "How the Fuck Will You Pay for Everything You Demand?"

– J.D.
Mob of the Mean: Free beanie, cattle-prod and Charley Fan Club!
"Doctor X is just treating you the way he treats everyone--as subhuman crap too dumb to breathe in after you breathe out."--Don
DocX: FTW.--sparks
"Doctor X wins again."--Pyrrho
"Never sorry to make a racist Fucktard cry."--His Humble MagNIfIcence
"It was the criticisms of Doc X, actually, that let me see more clearly how far the hypocrisy had gone."--clarsct
"I'd leave it up to Doctor X who has been a benevolent tyrant so far."--Grammatron
"Indeed you are a river to your people.
Shit. That's going to end up in your sig."--Pyrrho
"Try a twelve step program and accept Doctor X as your High Power."--asthmatic camel
"just like Doc X said." --gnome

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Re: The UK thread

Post by Anaxagoras » Fri Nov 01, 2019 6:01 am

Trump wants Boris Johnson and Nigel Farage to team up in UK election
President Trump on Thursday called on UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson and Brexit Party leader Nigel Farage to team up before the country’s early election Dec. 12 — saying the pair would make an “unstoppable force.”

“I wish you two guys could get together, I think it would be a great thing,” Trump said during an interview on Farage’s radio show on LBC.

Johnson’s incumbent Conservative Party and Farage’s Brexit Party will be competing for the votes of Brexit-backers in next month’s election.

Trump praised Johnson as a “fantastic man” and urged him to make an electoral pact with his rival.

“I’d like to see you and Boris get together, because you would really have some numbers,” Trump told Farage.

“I know that you and him will end up doing something that could be terrific if you and he get together as, you know, an unstoppable force.”

Johnson, “respects [Farage] a lot,” Trump added.

Still, Trump said “certain aspects” of Johnson’s Brexit deal, would make it impossible for the UK to strike any kind of trade deal with the US.

When it came to Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn, the president didn’t mince words.

“He’d be so bad, he’d take you in such a bad way. He’d take you into such bad places,” Trump told Farage

Corbyn snapped back in a tweet that: “Donald Trump is trying to interfere in Britain’s election to get his friend Boris Johnson elected.”
Hmm, "team up" as in merge the Brexit Party and the Conservative Party or like a coalition government thing after the election?
A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool.
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Re: The UK thread

Post by ceptimus » Fri Nov 01, 2019 11:32 am

Apparently, it's now racist in the UK to wear a sombrero unless you are a Mexican.

Telegraph article

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Re: The UK thread

Post by Abdul Alhazred » Fri Nov 01, 2019 4:59 pm

were there any Mexicans around who complained, or was this a resolution of the Oxford Union?
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Re: The UK thread

Post by asthmatic camel » Fri Nov 01, 2019 6:10 pm

Stopfunian giggles for Abdul:

Image

Linky
Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.

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Re: The UK thread

Post by Abdul Alhazred » Fri Nov 01, 2019 6:31 pm

Michael Golsorkhi? Not a Muslim of course. :P
Image "If I turn in a sicko, will I get a reward?"

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The arc of the moral universe bends towards chaos.
People who believe God or History are on their side provide the chaos.

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Re: The UK thread

Post by sparks » Fri Nov 01, 2019 6:47 pm

Of course not. His Birther Certificate indicates he came from DipShit CumGuzzlia.

And he's 26. No help for that of course. Can of worms, sack of wet hammers stupid.
You can lead them to knowledge, but you can't make them think.

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Re: The UK thread

Post by Doctor X » Fri Nov 01, 2019 6:54 pm

To be fair, the pile of leaves was arranged provocatively.

– J.D.
Mob of the Mean: Free beanie, cattle-prod and Charley Fan Club!
"Doctor X is just treating you the way he treats everyone--as subhuman crap too dumb to breathe in after you breathe out."--Don
DocX: FTW.--sparks
"Doctor X wins again."--Pyrrho
"Never sorry to make a racist Fucktard cry."--His Humble MagNIfIcence
"It was the criticisms of Doc X, actually, that let me see more clearly how far the hypocrisy had gone."--clarsct
"I'd leave it up to Doctor X who has been a benevolent tyrant so far."--Grammatron
"Indeed you are a river to your people.
Shit. That's going to end up in your sig."--Pyrrho
"Try a twelve step program and accept Doctor X as your High Power."--asthmatic camel
"just like Doc X said." --gnome

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