The UK thread

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Anaxagoras
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Re: The UK thread

Post by Anaxagoras »

The UK national debt is £1.786 trillion. Subtract £400 million from that, and that would leave, uh, about £1.786 trillion. You have to show more digits to even see the difference. It's only relevant in the 5th significant digit, which makes it essentially a rounding error.
Pyrrho
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Re: The UK thread

Post by Pyrrho »

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Dd40pCNV4AIXkFu.jpg
Pyrrho
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Re: The UK thread

Post by Pyrrho »

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Dd_lsMDVQAAob3W.jpg
Witness
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Re: The UK thread

Post by Witness »

BBC wrote:Romanian becomes second most common non-UK nationality

The Office for National Statistics says the total number of Romanian nationals rose by 25% from 2016 to 2017, reaching 411,000.

Of the 65,176,000 residents in the UK, 6.2 million were non-UK nationals - up by 4%.

The number of people living in the UK but born abroad was up by 3% from 2016 - 9.4 million of the total population.
[…]
The figures show that 61% of the non-UK nationals number - or 3.8 million - are from the EU.
[…]
Poland remains the most common non-UK nationality, with an estimated one million Polish people living in the UK.

After Romania, third place goes to the Republic of Ireland, with 350,000 nationals in the UK.

India falls to fourth with 346,000 nationals in the UK - a place formerly held by Romania.
http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-44235867
Witness
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Re: The UK thread

Post by Witness »

Witness wrote:UK, but actually universal. I found it a fun read:
[tweet-deleted][/tweet-deleted]
Rats! We've been fooled:
Media Guido wrote:Twitter users may have seen a viral thread posted yesterday by “Simon from Harlow”, a dad live-tweeting a school trip to the Science Museum gone wrong. Simon’s “hilarious” story featuring crying, vomiting and lost children was retweeted thousands of times, gained him 7,000 new followers and was reported by pretty much all major news outlets – it was even a page lead in The Times. Unfortunately Simon has since admitted he largely made the story up and has now deleted his account. He is refusing interviews but says he is “very sorry”, “no real children” were in danger, and the thread “got out of hand”.
https://order-order.com/2018/05/23/vira ... s-account/ :x
Witness
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Re: The UK thread

Post by Witness »

Local sport: Cheese Rolling.

https://i.imgur.com/Rlo4Nrh.jpg
Gloucestershire Live wrote:Records have fallen with champion cheese chaser and local hero Chris Anderson has won 21st cheese, beating Stephen Gyde's previous record of 20 wins.

The winners of each race, who need to reach the bottom of the 200 yard slope first, keep the 9lb cheese as a trophy and last year Chris went home with three.

The cheeses, specially made at Smart's Farm in Birdwood are released by the master of cheese at the top of the slope, then it is up to the racers to get to the bottom first, where if they are lucky they will be caught by the volunteers from Brockworth Rugby Club.
https://www.gloucestershirelive.co.uk/w ... eo-1612894
Witness
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Re: The UK thread

Post by Witness »

Poking around the Internet re. the Tommy Robinson affair and been astonished by two factoids:

1. Britain hasn't really a Constitution:
British Library wrote:Britain's unwritten constitution

For most people, especially abroad, the United Kingdom does not have a constitution at all in the sense most commonly used around the world — a document of fundamental importance setting out the structure of government and its relationship with its citizens. All modern states, saving only the UK, New Zealand and Israel, have adopted a documentary constitution of this kind, the first and most complete model being that of the United States of America in 1788. However, in Britain we certainly say that we have a constitution, but it is one that exists in an abstract sense, comprising a host of diverse laws, practices and conventions that have evolved over a long period of time. The key landmark is the Bill of Rights (1689), which established the supremacy of Parliament over the Crown following the forcible replacement of King James II (r.1685–88) by William III (r.1689–1702) and Mary (r.1689–94) in the Glorious Revolution (1688).

From a comparative perspective, we have what is known as an ‘unwritten constitution’, although some prefer to describe it as ‘uncodified’ on the basis that many of our laws of a constitutional nature are in fact written down in Acts of Parliament or law reports of court judgments. This aspect of the British constitution, its unwritten nature, is its most distinguishing characteristic.
https://www.bl.uk/magna-carta/articles/ ... nstitution

2. Citizenship is a complex affair:

https://i.imgur.com/Sf13uId.png

Can't help but think it's convenient for fucking over little people… :|
Giz
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Re: The UK thread

Post by Giz »

I'd thought that the UK's unwritten constitution was common knowledge.

I remember my secondary school teachers talking about its superiority over a written constitution as it was more flexible. With the benefit of hindsight and the changes to in the uk, I agree that it is certainly more flexible.
Witness
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Re: The UK thread

Post by Witness »

Giz wrote:I'd thought that the UK's unwritten constitution was common knowledge.
Not everybody here is from Sassenagh territory… :mrgreen:

https://i.imgur.com/GLsf51L.jpg
asthmatic camel
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Re: The UK thread

Post by asthmatic camel »

"Upskirting" law blocked by Tory MP.

I'd never heard of upskirting before but it's apparently the practice of taking photographs of women's unmentionables beneath their skirts without their consent. How this can be done is beyond me but there you go; we Brits are nothing if not ingenious.
A bid to make upskirting a criminal offence has been blocked by a Tory MP to cries of “shame” in the House of Commons.

The government had given its backing to the Voyeurism (Offences) Bill but Conservative Sir Christopher Chope shouted “object” during its second reading on Friday.

Several MPs heckled the 71-year-old Christchurch MP during his intervention on Friday afternoon, including the minister for women Victoria Atkins and fellow Tory Will Quince.

Upskirting to be made criminal offence under proposed law

A spokesperson for the House of Commons indicated that time for the reading, when MPs are invited to debate a bill, had been limited because of other parliamentary business.

Rules mean that after 2.30pm on a Friday a single objection can stop a bill progressing.

Gina Martin, who launched the campaign to make upskirting a specific criminal offence, said she was “extremely upset and disappointed”.

“We knew this was a risk, but I now stand with powerful, passionate women and men behind me and am confident that [justice minister] Lucy Frazer is committed to – and will – close this gap in law,” she said.
Witness
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Re: The UK thread

Post by Witness »

asthmatic camel wrote:we Brits are nothing if not ingenious.
I thought it was more of a Japanese thing… :?

Anyway:

https://i.imgur.com/oJonopw.jpg
Anaxagoras
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Re: The UK thread

Post by Anaxagoras »

Witness wrote:
asthmatic camel wrote:we Brits are nothing if not ingenious.
I thought it was more of a Japanese thing… :?

Shhh, don't let the cat out of the bag! :x

I'm pretty sure there's already a specific law against it here.
Doctor X
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Re: The UK thread

Post by Doctor X »

Because Your Teacher You Did NOT Fantasize About in 6th Form cannot more formally introduce it.

Sort of . . . like . . . make it a part of the Old Girl's Speech 'n all.

Facetious, yes, but Cameron got t3h gh3yz marriage passed with help from the LSD [Stop that!--Ed.] wing of the coalition and a lot of Labour that was not too busy denouncing Jews.

Seems kind of an easy one. One that the only question is how much Your Teacher You [Get on with it!--Ed.] St. Theresa and Mad Jeremy can [CENSORED--Ed.] themselves over how much more in support of NOT FUCKING TAKING PICTURES OF THE UNMENTIONABLES OF WOMEN WITHOUT THEIR CONSENT FUCKING OR NOT!



--J. "I'm JUST as Against Photographing Genitals as YOU asthmatic!" D.

P.S. Of course I like to reply to you.
P.P.S. Of course I like to write "hello!"
Witness
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Re: The UK thread

Post by Witness »

Nyarlathotep
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Re: The UK thread

Post by Nyarlathotep »

Giz wrote:I'd thought that the UK's unwritten constitution was common knowledge.

I remember my secondary school teachers talking about its superiority over a written constitution as it was more flexible. With the benefit of hindsight and the changes to in the uk, I agree that it is certainly more flexible.
When I was taking a World History 101 class in college, our instructor told us that he would give us an automatic 'A' in the class if we could show that we had read the entire British Constitution.

Little did most of us realize that it was a trick.
Nyarlathotep
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Re: The UK thread

Post by Nyarlathotep »

Abdul Alhazred wrote:
Is Milo a citizen of the UK now, or what?
He always was, AFAIK
asthmatic camel
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Re: The UK thread

Post by asthmatic camel »

Well, I just spent a fun day in hospital with an acute asthma attack. Saddleworth Moor's on fire, big time.

The blaze covers 3.7miles (6km) of moorland above Stalybridge and prompted the evacuation of up to 100 homes.

Greater Manchester Fire and Rescue Service (GMFRS) confirmed it had asked for military assistance.

One resident described seeing "ash falling like rain" and another said it "looked like the apocalypse".
The military has been called in to help battle a huge moorlands fire which has been raging for three days.

The blaze covers 3.7miles (6km) of moorland above Stalybridge and prompted the evacuation of up to 100 homes.

Greater Manchester Fire and Rescue Service (GMFRS) confirmed it had asked for military assistance.

One resident described seeing "ash falling like rain" and another said it "looked like the apocalypse".
https://i.imgur.com/yeY2pYo.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/mfxsw4C.jpg

And they call Manchester the Rainy City!
Carr
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Re: The UK thread

Post by Carr »

That's why there's no smoking in the prone position!

Saddleworth Moor spends a night in the box!
Witness
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Re: The UK thread

Post by Witness »

BBC wrote:Warburton's shuts crumpet plants due to CO2 shortage

The firm has run out of carbon dioxide which it uses to package the product.

The CO2 scarcity has already forced beer, fizzy drink and meat firms to curb production.

Warburton's supplies 1.5 million crumpets a week to UK consumers, packaged using carbon dioxide to give them longer shelf life and prevent mould.

But plants in London and Burnley have run out of CO2 and supplies at the company's Stockton site are intermittent.

"We have had quite big shortfalls," said Tearmh Taylor, a spokeswoman for Warburton's.

"We're probably running at about 50% of what we can normally make" she said.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-44644407

CO2 shortage, really? :roll:
Witness
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Re: The UK thread

Post by Witness »

Loch Ness monster hunter concludes: it's a big catfish

LONDON (Reuters) - After nearly quarter century camping out by the banks of Scotland’s Loch Ness hoping to glimpse “Nessie”, the most dedicated hunter of the legendary monster has given up, concluding it is just a very big catfish.

Steve Feltham, who gave up his girlfriend, house and job in southwest England in 1991 to spend his life looking for the Loch Ness monster, believes he has solved the mystery behind its many sightings, the Times newspaper reported on Thursday.

Rather than being a primeval beast, he suspects it is a Wels catfish, a native European catfish that the paper said could grow up to 13 ft (4 meters) long. Victorians introduced the fish to the dark waters of the loch to provide sport.

“I have to be honest. I just don’t think that Nessie is a prehistoric monster,” Feltham was quoted as saying. “What a lot of people have reported seeing would fit in with the description of the catfish with its long curved back.”
https://www.reuters.com/article/us-odd- ... reddit.com

:|

For those interested in the European catfish: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Qs0B0FY30s.
Witness
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Re: The UK thread

Post by Witness »

asthmatic camel wrote:I'd never heard of upskirting before but it's apparently the practice of taking photographs of women's unmentionables beneath their skirts without their consent. How this can be done is beyond me but there you go; we Brits are nothing if not ingenious.
Definitely more ingenious:
BBC wrote:Wisconsin man injured after upskirting shoe camera explodes

A man in the US State of Wisconsin was injured after a camera installed in his shoe exploded, local police say.

The 32-year-old had installed the device to take illicit photographs of women under their skirts.
https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-44655263

:mrgreen:
sparks
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Re: The UK thread

Post by sparks »

If that damned deranged fool can't get enough pussy shots, he should be locked in a padded room and forced to watch reruns of Trump speeches.
Witness
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Re: The UK thread

Post by Witness »

https://i.imgur.com/Ip3PxAd.jpg

:mrgreen:
Grammatron
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Re: The UK thread

Post by Grammatron »

Because they know what happens next
Witness
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Re: The UK thread

Post by Witness »

Grammatron wrote:Because they know what happens next
Indeed. :mrgreen:
asthmatic camel
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Re: The UK thread

Post by asthmatic camel »

https://i.imgur.com/dOUxxQY.jpg
Witness
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Re: The UK thread

Post by Witness »

https://i.imgur.com/gQtHqT9.jpg
Field Marshal The Lord Guthrie of Craigiebank falls from his horse during the Trooping the Colour 2018.
Giz
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Re: The UK thread

Post by Giz »

Witness wrote:https://i.imgur.com/gQtHqT9.jpg
Field Marshal The Lord Guthrie of Craigiebank falls from his horse during the Trooping the Colour 2018.
At least he was wearing protective clothing.
Doctor X
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Re: The UK thread

Post by Doctor X »

I did not think there were any actual "Field Marshals" = "General of the Army" in Limeyland, but that promotion, like "shagging Old Bess," is an honorary rank nowadays. He and others receive it when they retire. This does not happen in Freedom, though I believe Reagan or perhaps Bush suggested making Admiral Crowe a five star to keep him about.

--J.D.
Witness
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Re: The UK thread

Post by Witness »

https://i.imgur.com/yITHt2s.jpg
asthmatic camel
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Re: The UK thread

Post by asthmatic camel »

https://i.imgur.com/gjNzDPX.jpg
Doctor X
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Re: The UK thread

Post by Doctor X »

Not just a plan, but a cunning plan.

--J. "Ploppy, Son of Ploppy?" D.
Witness
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Re: The UK thread

Post by Witness »

Novichok: Amesbury poisoning couple 'had high dose'

Mother-of-three Dawn Sturgess, 44, died on Sunday evening after falling ill in Amesbury on 30 June.

Her partner, Charlie Rowley, 45, who was also exposed to the nerve agent, remains critically ill in hospital.

Police are continuing to hunt for a contaminated container which they believe was handled by the pair.

The BBC understands Mr Rowley's flat in Amesbury is regarded as the key location in the search. A team wearing hazmat suits is combing the small flat, working in 30-minute shifts because of the heat.
[…]
Mr Javid said scientists had not yet been able to determine if the nerve agent in the latest poisoning was from the same batch as that used earlier this year in Salisbury.

Russian former spy Sergei Skripal and his daughter Yulia fell ill after being poisoned with Novichok in Salisbury. Ms Skripal was discharged from Salisbury District Hospital in April, and her father in May.

A police officer, Det Sgt Nick Bailey, was also left seriously ill after responding to the attack on the Skripals and spent nearly three weeks in hospital.

Assistant Commissioner Neil Basu, the head UK counter-terrorism policing which is leading the investigation, said he was "unable to say" if the incident in Amesbury is linked to the poisoning of the Skripals on 3 March - but it is their "main line of inquiry".
https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-44768229
asthmatic camel
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Re: The UK thread

Post by asthmatic camel »

https://i.imgur.com/5ENLLih.jpg
Doctor X
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Re: The UK thread

Post by Doctor X »

They do go together.




What?

--J.D.
asthmatic camel
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Re: The UK thread

Post by asthmatic camel »

https://i.imgur.com/3BAmEPn.jpg
Witness
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Re: The UK thread

Post by Witness »

asthmatic camel wrote:https://i.imgur.com/3BAmEPn.jpg
That picture is incredible all by itself, without the profanity sign:
– the dude on the left (what is he, Grand Space Admiral?) has no waistline and his trousers are visibly, albeit slowly, sliding down;
– poor Melania is either badly shopped, or genetically engineered for big hips and long legs at the cost of microtorso;
– the Donald, showing the doddering Queen the birdie soon to come out of the photographer's camera, obviously likes his pants two sizes too wide (there is a French expression for that, "bande à l'aise") or is just not able to afford a competent tailor;
– Her Majesty, sadly, gets slowly crushed by her formal hat, presumably a cast iron artifact religiously handed down from her ancestors since the industrial revolution.
Giz
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Re: The UK thread

Post by Giz »

I’m surprised the queen is carrying a handbag. Surely she has someone to do that for her?
Witness
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Re: The UK thread

Post by Witness »

She can't part with the nuclear button. :P
Giz
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Re: The UK thread

Post by Giz »

I figured she was hiding her bling in there after being told that Donald might try and grab her Crown Jewels.