You don't have to be an ASSHOLE

This is our lounge area. Feel free to come in and get acquainted!
User avatar
asthmatic camel
Posts: 18315
Joined: Sat Jun 05, 2004 1:53 pm
Title: Forum commie nun.
Location: Stirring the porridge with my spurtle.

Re: You don't have to be an ASSHOLE

Post by asthmatic camel » Sat Feb 10, 2018 4:48 pm

Bruce, what you need is someone like Elena the Cleaner, a rather wonderful character from the late, lamented Douglas Adam's comedy novel "Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency".

Elena and Dirk play games with one another, trying to outwit each each other into opening the 'fridge, which eventually becomes a new God of Guilt.
Elena is Dirk Gently's cleaning woman, whose effect on the noise levels in his house is shattering but whose effect on the dust and disorder is minimal. Months have passed since either Dirk or Elena have opened his fridge to clean it, and a battle of wills has built up as to who will be first to open it. Only when Dirk observes that the fridge has actually begun to Lurk, rather than just sitting in a corner, does Elena vow to clean it - with calamitous results.
Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.