Dad jokes and humor

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Abdul Alhazred
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Re: Dad jokes and humor

Post by Abdul Alhazred » Tue Aug 20, 2019 3:18 am

Reddit?

If you were born after 1945 then you were literally named after Hitler.
Image "If I turn in a sicko, will I get a reward?"

"Yes! A BIG REWARD!" ====> Click here to turn in a sicko
The arc of the moral universe bends towards chaos.
People who believe God or History are on their side provide the chaos.

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Giz
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Re: Dad jokes and humor

Post by Giz » Tue Aug 20, 2019 1:47 pm

Abdul Alhazred wrote:
Tue Aug 20, 2019 3:18 am
Reddit?

If you were born after 1945 then you were literally named after Hitler.
Haven’t seen that one before- nice

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ceptimus
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Re: Dad jokes and humor

Post by ceptimus » Tue Aug 20, 2019 10:20 pm

To be a horse rider, or not to be a horse rider: that is equestrianism.

Reported as one of the runner-up jokes from this year's Edinburgh Fringe.

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Doctor X
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Re: Dad jokes and humor

Post by Doctor X » Mon Aug 26, 2019 4:15 am

The Fringe is getting slack.

–J.D.
Mob of the Mean: Free beanie, cattle-prod and Charley Fan Club!
"Doctor X is just treating you the way he treats everyone--as subhuman crap too dumb to breathe in after you breathe out."--Don
DocX: FTW.--sparks
"Doctor X wins again."--Pyrrho
"Never sorry to make a racist Fucktard cry."--His Humble MagNIfIcence
"It was the criticisms of Doc X, actually, that let me see more clearly how far the hypocrisy had gone."--clarsct
"I'd leave it up to Doctor X who has been a benevolent tyrant so far."--Grammatron
"Indeed you are a river to your people.
Shit. That's going to end up in your sig."--Pyrrho
"Try a twelve step program and accept Doctor X as your High Power."--asthmatic camel
"just like Doc X said." --gnome

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Anaxagoras
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Re: Dad jokes and humor

Post by Anaxagoras » Thu Aug 29, 2019 9:07 am

"I have some good news and some bad news for you."

~Schrodinger's vet
A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool.
William Shakespeare

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robinson
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Re: Dad jokes and humor

Post by robinson » Thu Aug 29, 2019 11:31 pm

The vet came in holding my dog.

He said "I have to put him down"

"What?" I cried out. "Why"

































He's really heavy
♪ ♫ ♩ ♬ "

"Science and Mother Nature are in a marriage where Science is always surprised to come home and find Mother Nature blowing the neighbor."

♪ ♫ ♩ ♬

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Giz
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Re: Dad jokes and humor

Post by Giz » Fri Aug 30, 2019 12:29 am

Ah, tommy Cooper!

For the benefit of non-brits a collection of his offerings (the finest “dad jokes”)!

http://www.mkccc.com/humour/t.htm

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Anaxagoras
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Re: Dad jokes and humor

Post by Anaxagoras » Fri Aug 30, 2019 3:34 am

Yeah, those are some corny jokes.

The meta-joke is that the jokes are so bad.
A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool.
William Shakespeare

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Doctor X
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Re: Dad jokes and humor

Post by Doctor X » Fri Aug 30, 2019 6:48 am

Image

Image

–J.D.
Mob of the Mean: Free beanie, cattle-prod and Charley Fan Club!
"Doctor X is just treating you the way he treats everyone--as subhuman crap too dumb to breathe in after you breathe out."--Don
DocX: FTW.--sparks
"Doctor X wins again."--Pyrrho
"Never sorry to make a racist Fucktard cry."--His Humble MagNIfIcence
"It was the criticisms of Doc X, actually, that let me see more clearly how far the hypocrisy had gone."--clarsct
"I'd leave it up to Doctor X who has been a benevolent tyrant so far."--Grammatron
"Indeed you are a river to your people.
Shit. That's going to end up in your sig."--Pyrrho
"Try a twelve step program and accept Doctor X as your High Power."--asthmatic camel
"just like Doc X said." --gnome

ImageWS CHAMPIONS X4!!!! ImageNBA CHAMPIONS!! Stanley Cup!Image SB CHAMPIONS X6!!!!!! Image

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Rob Lister
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Re: Dad jokes and humor

Post by Rob Lister » Sat Aug 31, 2019 10:10 am

The shortest distance between two jokes is a straight line.

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Anaxagoras
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Re: Dad jokes and humor

Post by Anaxagoras » Sun Oct 20, 2019 5:11 am

What do you get if you divide a pumpkin's circumference by its diameter?
Spoiler:
Pumpkin π
Lay that one on your kids when you carve the jack-o-lanterns. :P
A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool.
William Shakespeare

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ceptimus
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Re: Dad jokes and humor

Post by ceptimus » Sun Oct 20, 2019 6:42 pm

How do you get a bunch of Pikachu onto a bus?
Spoiler:
Pokémon

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Bruce
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Re: Dad jokes and humor

Post by Bruce » Fri Nov 15, 2019 3:12 am

He's too old to be called The Boy anymore. I shall call him Boy-Man. Someday, he will graduate to Man-Boy. Anyway, I blind-sided hin with a dad joke today. He has an essay due tomorrow on the fall of the Roman Empire.

Boyman! You have an essay due tomorrow!

I know.

Tell me what you know about the fall of the Roman Empire.

Oh.....uh.....it started with....uh....

WRONG! It was after the summer of the Roman Empire and before the Winter of the Roman Empire.



:twisted:
Such potential!

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Abdul Alhazred
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Re: Dad jokes and humor

Post by Abdul Alhazred » Fri Nov 15, 2019 2:50 pm

Always an element of sadism in dad humor. :)
Image "If I turn in a sicko, will I get a reward?"

"Yes! A BIG REWARD!" ====> Click here to turn in a sicko
The arc of the moral universe bends towards chaos.
People who believe God or History are on their side provide the chaos.

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Pyrrho
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Re: Dad jokes and humor

Post by Pyrrho » Sat Nov 16, 2019 1:32 pm

Image
The flash of light you saw in the sky was not a UFO. Swamp gas from a weather balloon was trapped in a thermal pocket and reflected the light from Venus.

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Abdul Alhazred
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Re: Dad jokes and humor

Post by Abdul Alhazred » Sat Nov 16, 2019 5:08 pm

I remember thee TV show (in afternoon reruns), but not the comic book. :oldman:
Image "If I turn in a sicko, will I get a reward?"

"Yes! A BIG REWARD!" ====> Click here to turn in a sicko
The arc of the moral universe bends towards chaos.
People who believe God or History are on their side provide the chaos.

User avatar
Anaxagoras
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Joined: Wed Mar 19, 2008 5:45 am
Location: Yokohama/Tokyo, Japan

Re: Dad jokes and humor

Post by Anaxagoras » Sun Dec 15, 2019 1:42 am

Why did Stalin only write in lower case letters?
Spoiler:
He was afraid of capitalism.

In America, people who laugh at their own jokes sometimes say "I kill myself."
In Soviet Russia, people who laugh at jokes about Comrade Stalin die laughing!
A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool.
William Shakespeare

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Doctor X
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Re: Dad jokes and humor

Post by Doctor X » Sun Dec 15, 2019 5:34 am

What a country!

– J.D.
Mob of the Mean: Free beanie, cattle-prod and Charley Fan Club!
"Doctor X is just treating you the way he treats everyone--as subhuman crap too dumb to breathe in after you breathe out."--Don
DocX: FTW.--sparks
"Doctor X wins again."--Pyrrho
"Never sorry to make a racist Fucktard cry."--His Humble MagNIfIcence
"It was the criticisms of Doc X, actually, that let me see more clearly how far the hypocrisy had gone."--clarsct
"I'd leave it up to Doctor X who has been a benevolent tyrant so far."--Grammatron
"Indeed you are a river to your people.
Shit. That's going to end up in your sig."--Pyrrho
"Try a twelve step program and accept Doctor X as your High Power."--asthmatic camel
"just like Doc X said." --gnome

ImageWS CHAMPIONS X4!!!! ImageNBA CHAMPIONS!! Stanley Cup!Image SB CHAMPIONS X6!!!!!! Image