Amusing tale of the day.

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asthmatic camel
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Amusing tale of the day.

Post by asthmatic camel »

De_Bunk's cute little girl-friend sent me a rather nasty gif of our hero doing a little dance and warning me not to send him a pipe and some tobacco.

You can guess what happened, can't you?

"Nick..Just got your present..BEST PRESENT EVER..BLOODY BRILLIANT..πŸ‘..Made me laugh..im so gonna puff on it..also its spot on for the old Lowestoft fishermen pics of them smoking pipes..practically identical..Im sitting on the car park waiting for karen..(i had to get the parcel from the sorting office and i just opened it)..Right..its my turn to get you something now..😁😁😁..I like this game..I am honestly proper happy..Ill post a pic on FB for you when i spark it up in an hour or so...You're a good mate..and we gotta meet up..We'll arrange a good day for both of us and me and Karen will drive up..πŸ‘..Thanks Nick..I love it..πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘"

I don't think I'm flavour of the month with the cute-assed littly lady. :(

Image

Oh, and I sent him a tin of curry flavoured snuff which he stuck in his pipe and attempted to smoke.

There's only one De-Bunk. :)

Image
Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.
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Re: Amusing tale of the day.

Post by De_Bunk »

Nick..It made me cough my guts up..It was only after i read the tin, that i realised what it was..

Meh..Ill smoke anything..😁
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Re: Amusing tale of the day.

Post by De_Bunk »

Abdul..
I never left.. :De_Bunk:
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Re: Amusing tale of the day.

Post by robinson »

De_Bunk wrote: ↑Fri Aug 24, 2018 1:00 pm Abdul..
I never left.. :De_Bunk:
And that was his last post
still working on Sophrosyne, but I will no doubt end up with Hubris
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Re: Amusing tale of the day.

Post by De_Bunk »

..and im still here.. :De_Bunk:
Last edited by De_Bunk on Fri Nov 22, 2019 11:15 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Pyrrho
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Re: Amusing tale of the day.

Post by Pyrrho »

Dude.
The flash of light you saw in the sky was not a UFO. Swamp gas from a weather balloon was trapped in a thermal pocket and reflected the light from Venus.
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Re: Amusing tale of the day.

Post by De_Bunk »

:D
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Re: Amusing tale of the day.

Post by Pyrrho »

Made my week. Seriously, it's been a ballbuster of a week and I needed a smile.
The flash of light you saw in the sky was not a UFO. Swamp gas from a weather balloon was trapped in a thermal pocket and reflected the light from Venus.
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Re: Amusing tale of the day.

Post by robinson »

Made my day!
still working on Sophrosyne, but I will no doubt end up with Hubris
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Re: Amusing tale of the day.

Post by asthmatic camel »

He hasn't told you about the time I sent him a gimp costume. :D
Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.
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Re: Amusing tale of the day.

Post by Captain »

He can wear it with his set of chains. For his own good.
You run one time, you got yourself a set of chains. You run twice you got yourself two sets. You ain't gonna need no third set, 'cause you gonna get your mind right.
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Re: Amusing tale of the day.

Post by asthmatic camel »

Or the time I sent him a jar of Jamaican Jerk paste and he nearly choked to death by eating a spoonful straight from the jar. :D
Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.
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Re: Amusing tale of the day.

Post by asthmatic camel »

Or the time I sent him my spare Windows tablet because his lady friend had smashed his up in a temper. :D
Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.
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Re: Amusing tale of the day.

Post by De_Bunk »

She's great...Only beats me on weekends now.. :twisted:
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Re: Amusing tale of the day.

Post by De_Bunk »

PS..Im always just 'around'..Im DB..Still a bastard..and still loyal to us old school mob here..But i got to be a bit 'good' nowadays (thanks to meeting an actual female who, somehow, agreed to meet me more than once)..and behave myself..😈😈😈😈
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Re: Amusing tale of the day.

Post by Witness »

De_Bunk wrote: ↑Sat Nov 23, 2019 9:49 pmand behave myself
:notsure:

I hope not, DB!
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Re: Amusing tale of the day.

Post by sparks »

Pussy whipped. :)
You can lead them to knowledge, but you can't make them think.
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Re: Amusing tale of the day.

Post by De_Bunk »

Witness...I probably wont..😁
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Re: Amusing tale of the day.

Post by De_Bunk »

Ill be back later after my sermon at 10..

Hope i get a good crowd in this week..

😈
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Re: Amusing tale of the day.

Post by asthmatic camel »

That reminds me, DB. Do you need any more of that Nigerian hot pepper soup? I'll be passing the Afro-Caribbean shop some time this week. :)
Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.
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Re: Amusing tale of the day.

Post by ed »

Sounds good. Can you ship some to me?
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Re: Amusing tale of the day.

Post by ed »

Better yet ... get on a plane to Orlando, rent a car and drive to my place to give it to me.
I'll be busy so I can't ask you to join me, you'll have to go back.

That work for you?
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Re: Amusing tale of the day.

Post by ed »

This space for let
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Re: Amusing tale of the day.

Post by sparks »

For an Elder Gawd, you're a real cunt ed. :)
You can lead them to knowledge, but you can't make them think.
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Re: Amusing tale of the day.

Post by Fid »

Why is one of the ingredients "your bank account number"?
... The stars were suns, but so far away they were just little points of light ... The scale of the universe suddenly opened up to me. It was a kind of religious experience. There was a magnificence to it, a grandeur, a scale which has never left me. Never ever left me.
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Re: Amusing tale of the day.

Post by ed »

sparks wrote: ↑Sun Nov 24, 2019 3:44 pm For an Elder Gawd, you're a real cunt ed. :)
But it would be cool if he'd do it, wouldn't it? Like going 6000 miles to make an offerring. Like Mecca except Myakka. Hmmmmmmmmm.
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Re: Amusing tale of the day.

Post by Witness »

ed wrote: ↑Sun Nov 24, 2019 12:23 pm like this?
https://www.demandafrica.com/food/recip ... pper-soup/
ed, you monster:
  • 2 pounds chicken / catfish / cow leg / offal
  • 4 seeds Calabash nutmeg (Ehiri/Ehuru) ground
  • 3 cubes Maggi seasoning
  • 2 cloves garlic minced
  • 2 medium onions
  • 2 tablespoons Scent leaves dry uziza leaves
  • Red chili pepper / habanero pepper to taste
  • Salt to taste
  • 1/2 gallon water approximately
:roll:

I understand now why your crawdads have fled, they don't want to be subjected to such ignominy.
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Re: Amusing tale of the day.

Post by ed »

? sounds questionBLE.
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Re: Amusing tale of the day.

Post by asthmatic camel »

I'm talking about this stuff, an instant Obe Ata soup mix. It's really nice if you like spicy stuff but there's only one shop I know of where you can buy it. De-Bunk's tried to find another supplier but without any luck.

Image
Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.
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Re: Amusing tale of the day.

Post by asthmatic camel »

ed wrote: ↑Sun Nov 24, 2019 12:22 pm Better yet ... get on a plane to Orlando, rent a car and drive to my place to give it to me.
I'll be busy so I can't ask you to join me, you'll have to go back.

That work for you?
I'd have to fag-o-cycle it; I handed my driving licence in twenty years ago after suffering a few seizures.
Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.
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Re: Amusing tale of the day.

Post by ed »

What did the bastards seize from you???
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Re: Amusing tale of the day.

Post by asthmatic camel »

Very nearly my life. I flatlined twice. (And no, I didn't see any angels or any of that bullshit while I was dead.)
Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.
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Re: Amusing tale of the day.

Post by robinson »

My God man! An actual female!
still working on Sophrosyne, but I will no doubt end up with Hubris
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Re: Amusing tale of the day.

Post by ed »

asthmatic camel wrote: ↑Mon Nov 25, 2019 7:06 am Very nearly my life. I flatlined twice. (And no, I didn't see any angels or any of that bullshit while I was dead.)

Twice? And THAT is enough to keep you from bringing me my Aga Opa??/ :x

Let me tell you that Nelson, after being mortally wounded, proceeded to bombard the Yucatan into submission thus adding it to Victoria's empire. And you, "flatlining" only twice put your feet up and call it a day.

I weep for your Empire.
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Re: Amusing tale of the day.

Post by De_Bunk »

Camel..In the New Year..Get a way i can send you the money for it..I know you can do it thru paypal..just got to remember how to do it..πŸ‘
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Re: Amusing tale of the day.

Post by asthmatic camel »

ed wrote: ↑Mon Nov 25, 2019 12:17 pm
asthmatic camel wrote: ↑Mon Nov 25, 2019 7:06 am Very nearly my life. I flatlined twice. (And no, I didn't see any angels or any of that bullshit while I was dead.)

Twice? And THAT is enough to keep you from bringing me my Aga Opa??/ :x

Let me tell you that Nelson, after being mortally wounded, proceeded to bombard the Yucatan into submission thus adding it to Victoria's empire. And you, "flatlining" only twice put your feet up and call it a day.

I weep for your Empire.

Yeah, but Nelson had the 104 gun flagship HMS Victory and a fleet behind him.

I, however, have a fag-o-cycle and some lycra.
Last edited by asthmatic camel on Mon Nov 25, 2019 11:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.
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Re: Amusing tale of the day.

Post by asthmatic camel »

De_Bunk wrote: ↑Mon Nov 25, 2019 4:44 pm Camel..In the New Year..Get a way i can send you the money for it..I know you can do it thru paypal..just got to remember how to do it..πŸ‘
It's no bother! I can afford Β£2.50 for a jar of soup every now and again. :)
Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.
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Re: Amusing tale of the day.

Post by Rob Lister »

asthmatic camel wrote: ↑Mon Nov 25, 2019 7:06 am Very nearly my life. I flatlined twice.
Twice? Pussy.
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Re: Amusing tale of the day.

Post by ed »

asthmatic camel wrote: ↑Mon Nov 25, 2019 11:20 pm
ed wrote: ↑Mon Nov 25, 2019 12:17 pm
asthmatic camel wrote: ↑Mon Nov 25, 2019 7:06 am Very nearly my life. I flatlined twice. (And no, I didn't see any angels or any of that bullshit while I was dead.)

Twice? And THAT is enough to keep you from bringing me my Aga Opa??/ :x

Let me tell you that Nelson, after being mortally wounded, proceeded to bombard the Yucatan into submission thus adding it to Victoria's empire. And you, "flatlining" only twice put your feet up and call it a day.

I weep for your Empire.

Yeah, but Nelson had the 104 gun flagship HMS Victory and a fleet behind him.

I, however, have a fag-o-cycle and some lycra.
Piffle. He was bleeding from every orifice. That is all you have in common with His Lordship.

You make feeble excuses. If you were half the man you think you are, you would have been halfway across the pond by know, going over in your mind the words you would use to present me with these delectable morsels. But, no, you recline, pharaoh like, on your chaise lounge, sipping the nectar of the grain. I, contrariwise, mumble sadly, wondering what I had done to make you such a contrarian.

Fie!!!
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Re: Amusing tale of the day.

Post by sparks »

What's up with those crawdads ed?
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