Amusing tale of the day.

asthmatic camel · Post by **asthmatic camel** » Wed Aug 22, 2018 7:11 pm

De_Bunk's cute little girl-friend sent me a rather nasty gif of our hero doing a little dance and warning me not to send him a pipe and some tobacco.

You can guess what happened, can't you?

"Nick..Just got your present..BEST PRESENT EVER..BLOODY BRILLIANT..

..Made me laugh..im so gonna puff on it..also its spot on for the old Lowestoft fishermen pics of them smoking pipes..practically identical..Im sitting on the car park waiting for karen..(i had to get the parcel from the sorting office and i just opened it)..Right..its my turn to get you something now..

..I like this game..I am honestly proper happy..Ill post a pic on FB for you when i spark it up in an hour or so...You're a good mate..and we gotta meet up..We'll arrange a good day for both of us and me and Karen will drive up..

..Thanks Nick..I love it..

"

I don't think I'm flavour of the month with the cute-assed littly lady.

Oh, and I sent him a tin of curry flavoured snuff which he stuck in his pipe and attempted to smoke.

There's only one De-Bunk.

De_Bunk · Post by **De_Bunk** » Fri Aug 24, 2018 12:45 pm

Nick..It made me cough my guts up..It was only after i read the tin, that i realised what it was..

Meh..Ill smoke anything..

De_Bunk · Post by **De_Bunk** » Fri Aug 24, 2018 1:00 pm

Abdul..
I never left..

robinson · Post by **robinson** » Fri Nov 22, 2019 11:04 am

De_Bunk wrote: ↑Fri Aug 24, 2018 1:00 pm Abdul..
I never left..

And that was his last post

De_Bunk · Post by **De_Bunk** » Fri Nov 22, 2019 11:13 am

..and im still here..

Pyrrho · Post by **Pyrrho** » Fri Nov 22, 2019 11:14 am

Dude.

De_Bunk · Post by **De_Bunk** » Fri Nov 22, 2019 11:15 am

Pyrrho · Post by **Pyrrho** » Fri Nov 22, 2019 11:17 am

Made my week. Seriously, it's been a ballbuster of a week and I needed a smile.

robinson · Post by **robinson** » Fri Nov 22, 2019 11:23 am

Made my day!

asthmatic camel · Post by **asthmatic camel** » Fri Nov 22, 2019 6:22 pm

He hasn't told you about the time I sent him a gimp costume.

Post by **Captain** » Fri Nov 22, 2019 11:14 pm

He can wear it with his set of chains. For his own good.

asthmatic camel · Post by **asthmatic camel** » Sat Nov 23, 2019 11:29 am

Or the time I sent him a jar of Jamaican Jerk paste and he nearly choked to death by eating a spoonful straight from the jar.

asthmatic camel · Post by **asthmatic camel** » Sat Nov 23, 2019 11:37 am

Or the time I sent him my spare Windows tablet because his lady friend had smashed his up in a temper.

De_Bunk · Post by **De_Bunk** » Sat Nov 23, 2019 9:38 pm

She's great...Only beats me on weekends now..

De_Bunk · Post by **De_Bunk** » Sat Nov 23, 2019 9:49 pm

PS..Im always just 'around'..Im DB..Still a bastard..and still loyal to us old school mob here..But i got to be a bit 'good' nowadays (thanks to meeting an actual female who, somehow, agreed to meet me more than once)..and behave myself..

Witness · Post by **Witness** » Sun Nov 24, 2019 12:36 am

De_Bunk wrote: ↑Sat Nov 23, 2019 9:49 pmand behave myself

I hope not, DB!

sparks · Post by **sparks** » Sun Nov 24, 2019 2:12 am

Pussy whipped.

De_Bunk · Post by **De_Bunk** » Sun Nov 24, 2019 7:42 am

Witness...I probably wont..

De_Bunk · Post by **De_Bunk** » Sun Nov 24, 2019 7:45 am

Ill be back later after my sermon at 10..

Hope i get a good crowd in this week..

asthmatic camel · Post by **asthmatic camel** » Sun Nov 24, 2019 10:40 am

That reminds me, DB. Do you need any more of that Nigerian hot pepper soup? I'll be passing the Afro-Caribbean shop some time this week.

ed · Post by ed » Sun Nov 24, 2019 12:20 pm

Sounds good. Can you ship some to me?

ed · Post by ed » Sun Nov 24, 2019 12:22 pm

Better yet ... get on a plane to Orlando, rent a car and drive to my place to give it to me.
I'll be busy so I can't ask you to join me, you'll have to go back.

That work for you?

ed · Post by ed » Sun Nov 24, 2019 12:23 pm

like this?
https://www.demandafrica.com/food/recip ... pper-soup/

sparks · Post by **sparks** » Sun Nov 24, 2019 3:44 pm

For an Elder Gawd, you're a real cunt ed.

Fid · Post by **Fid** » Sun Nov 24, 2019 4:58 pm

Why is one of the ingredients "your bank account number"?

ed · Post by ed » Sun Nov 24, 2019 5:01 pm

sparks wrote: ↑Sun Nov 24, 2019 3:44 pm For an Elder Gawd, you're a real cunt ed.

But it would be cool if he'd do it, wouldn't it? Like going 6000 miles to make an offerring. Like Mecca except Myakka. Hmmmmmmmmm.

Witness · Post by **Witness** » Sun Nov 24, 2019 9:36 pm

ed wrote: ↑Sun Nov 24, 2019 12:23 pm like this?
https://www.demandafrica.com/food/recip ... pper-soup/

ed, you monster:

2 pounds chicken / catfish / cow leg / offal

4 seeds Calabash nutmeg (Ehiri/Ehuru) ground

3 cubes Maggi seasoning

2 cloves garlic minced

2 medium onions

2 tablespoons Scent leaves dry uziza leaves

Red chili pepper / habanero pepper to taste

Salt to taste

1/2 gallon water approximately

I understand now why your crawdads have fled, they don't want to be subjected to such ignominy.

ed · Post by ed » Sun Nov 24, 2019 9:39 pm

? sounds questionBLE.

asthmatic camel · Post by **asthmatic camel** » Sun Nov 24, 2019 9:45 pm

I'm talking about this stuff, an instant Obe Ata soup mix. It's really nice if you like spicy stuff but there's only one shop I know of where you can buy it. De-Bunk's tried to find another supplier but without any luck.

asthmatic camel · Post by **asthmatic camel** » Mon Nov 25, 2019 2:33 am

ed wrote: ↑Sun Nov 24, 2019 12:22 pm Better yet ... get on a plane to Orlando, rent a car and drive to my place to give it to me.
I'll be busy so I can't ask you to join me, you'll have to go back.

That work for you?

I'd have to fag-o-cycle it; I handed my driving licence in twenty years ago after suffering a few seizures.

ed · Post by ed » Mon Nov 25, 2019 2:58 am

What did the bastards seize from you???

asthmatic camel · Post by **asthmatic camel** » Mon Nov 25, 2019 7:06 am

Very nearly my life. I flatlined twice. (And no, I didn't see any angels or any of that bullshit while I was dead.)

robinson · Post by **robinson** » Mon Nov 25, 2019 11:34 am

My God man! An actual female!

ed · Post by ed » Mon Nov 25, 2019 12:17 pm

asthmatic camel wrote: ↑Mon Nov 25, 2019 7:06 am Very nearly my life. I flatlined twice. (And no, I didn't see any angels or any of that bullshit while I was dead.)

Twice? And THAT is enough to keep you from bringing me my Aga Opa??/

Let me tell you that Nelson, after being mortally wounded, proceeded to bombard the Yucatan into submission thus adding it to Victoria's empire. And you, "flatlining" only twice put your feet up and call it a day.

I weep for your Empire.

De_Bunk · Post by **De_Bunk** » Mon Nov 25, 2019 4:44 pm

Camel..In the New Year..Get a way i can send you the money for it..I know you can do it thru paypal..just got to remember how to do it..

asthmatic camel · Post by **asthmatic camel** » Mon Nov 25, 2019 11:20 pm

ed wrote: ↑Mon Nov 25, 2019 12:17 pm
asthmatic camel wrote: ↑Mon Nov 25, 2019 7:06 am Very nearly my life. I flatlined twice. (And no, I didn't see any angels or any of that bullshit while I was dead.)

Twice? And THAT is enough to keep you from bringing me my Aga Opa??/

Let me tell you that Nelson, after being mortally wounded, proceeded to bombard the Yucatan into submission thus adding it to Victoria's empire. And you, "flatlining" only twice put your feet up and call it a day.

I weep for your Empire.

Yeah, but Nelson had the 104 gun flagship HMS Victory and a fleet behind him.

I, however, have a fag-o-cycle and some lycra.

asthmatic camel · Post by **asthmatic camel** » Mon Nov 25, 2019 11:25 pm

De_Bunk wrote: ↑Mon Nov 25, 2019 4:44 pm Camel..In the New Year..Get a way i can send you the money for it..I know you can do it thru paypal..just got to remember how to do it..

It's no bother! I can afford £2.50 for a jar of soup every now and again.

Rob Lister · Post by **Rob Lister** » Tue Nov 26, 2019 12:21 am

asthmatic camel wrote: ↑Mon Nov 25, 2019 7:06 am Very nearly my life. I flatlined twice.

Twice? Pussy.

ed · Post by ed » Tue Nov 26, 2019 1:52 am

asthmatic camel wrote: ↑Mon Nov 25, 2019 11:20 pm
ed wrote: ↑Mon Nov 25, 2019 12:17 pm
asthmatic camel wrote: ↑Mon Nov 25, 2019 7:06 am Very nearly my life. I flatlined twice. (And no, I didn't see any angels or any of that bullshit while I was dead.)

Twice? And THAT is enough to keep you from bringing me my Aga Opa??/

Let me tell you that Nelson, after being mortally wounded, proceeded to bombard the Yucatan into submission thus adding it to Victoria's empire. And you, "flatlining" only twice put your feet up and call it a day.

I weep for your Empire.

Yeah, but Nelson had the 104 gun flagship HMS Victory and a fleet behind him.

I, however, have a fag-o-cycle and some lycra.

Piffle. He was bleeding from every orifice. That is all you have in common with His Lordship.

You make feeble excuses. If you were half the man you think you are, you would have been halfway across the pond by know, going over in your mind the words you would use to present me with these delectable morsels. But, no, you recline, pharaoh like, on your chaise lounge, sipping the nectar of the grain. I, contrariwise, mumble sadly, wondering what I had done to make you such a contrarian.

Fie!!!

sparks · Post by **sparks** » Tue Nov 26, 2019 2:46 am

What's up with those crawdads ed?