Amusing tale of the day.

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asthmatic camel
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Re: Amusing tale of the day.

Post by asthmatic camel »

ed wrote: ↑Sun Nov 24, 2019 12:22 pm Better yet ... get on a plane to Orlando, rent a car and drive to my place to give it to me.
I'll be busy so I can't ask you to join me, you'll have to go back.

That work for you?
I'd have to fag-o-cycle it; I handed my driving licence in twenty years ago after suffering a few seizures.
Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.
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Re: Amusing tale of the day.

Post by ed »

What did the bastards seize from you???
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Re: Amusing tale of the day.

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Very nearly my life. I flatlined twice. (And no, I didn't see any angels or any of that bullshit while I was dead.)
Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.
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Re: Amusing tale of the day.

Post by robinson »

My God man! An actual female!
still working on Sophrosyne, but I will no doubt end up with Hubris
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Re: Amusing tale of the day.

Post by ed »

asthmatic camel wrote: ↑Mon Nov 25, 2019 7:06 am Very nearly my life. I flatlined twice. (And no, I didn't see any angels or any of that bullshit while I was dead.)

Twice? And THAT is enough to keep you from bringing me my Aga Opa??/ :x

Let me tell you that Nelson, after being mortally wounded, proceeded to bombard the Yucatan into submission thus adding it to Victoria's empire. And you, "flatlining" only twice put your feet up and call it a day.

I weep for your Empire.
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Re: Amusing tale of the day.

Post by De_Bunk »

Camel..In the New Year..Get a way i can send you the money for it..I know you can do it thru paypal..just got to remember how to do it..πŸ‘
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Re: Amusing tale of the day.

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ed wrote: ↑Mon Nov 25, 2019 12:17 pm
asthmatic camel wrote: ↑Mon Nov 25, 2019 7:06 am Very nearly my life. I flatlined twice. (And no, I didn't see any angels or any of that bullshit while I was dead.)

Twice? And THAT is enough to keep you from bringing me my Aga Opa??/ :x

Let me tell you that Nelson, after being mortally wounded, proceeded to bombard the Yucatan into submission thus adding it to Victoria's empire. And you, "flatlining" only twice put your feet up and call it a day.

I weep for your Empire.

Yeah, but Nelson had the 104 gun flagship HMS Victory and a fleet behind him.

I, however, have a fag-o-cycle and some lycra.
Last edited by asthmatic camel on Mon Nov 25, 2019 11:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.
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asthmatic camel
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Re: Amusing tale of the day.

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De_Bunk wrote: ↑Mon Nov 25, 2019 4:44 pm Camel..In the New Year..Get a way i can send you the money for it..I know you can do it thru paypal..just got to remember how to do it..πŸ‘
It's no bother! I can afford Β£2.50 for a jar of soup every now and again. :)
Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.
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Re: Amusing tale of the day.

Post by Rob Lister »

asthmatic camel wrote: ↑Mon Nov 25, 2019 7:06 am Very nearly my life. I flatlined twice.
Twice? Pussy.
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Re: Amusing tale of the day.

Post by ed »

asthmatic camel wrote: ↑Mon Nov 25, 2019 11:20 pm
ed wrote: ↑Mon Nov 25, 2019 12:17 pm
asthmatic camel wrote: ↑Mon Nov 25, 2019 7:06 am Very nearly my life. I flatlined twice. (And no, I didn't see any angels or any of that bullshit while I was dead.)

Twice? And THAT is enough to keep you from bringing me my Aga Opa??/ :x

Let me tell you that Nelson, after being mortally wounded, proceeded to bombard the Yucatan into submission thus adding it to Victoria's empire. And you, "flatlining" only twice put your feet up and call it a day.

I weep for your Empire.

Yeah, but Nelson had the 104 gun flagship HMS Victory and a fleet behind him.

I, however, have a fag-o-cycle and some lycra.
Piffle. He was bleeding from every orifice. That is all you have in common with His Lordship.

You make feeble excuses. If you were half the man you think you are, you would have been halfway across the pond by know, going over in your mind the words you would use to present me with these delectable morsels. But, no, you recline, pharaoh like, on your chaise lounge, sipping the nectar of the grain. I, contrariwise, mumble sadly, wondering what I had done to make you such a contrarian.

Fie!!!
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Re: Amusing tale of the day.

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What's up with those crawdads ed?
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Re: Amusing tale of the day.

Post by sparks »

I wasn't talking to you AA. I was addressing the Elder Gawd ed. And he appears not to be able to account for his crawdads.

If he can't be trusted with mere crustaceans, what are we going to do with all these fucking pigs? :)
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Re: Amusing tale of the day.

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Yea, Elder Gawds are capricious sometimes...
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Re: Amusing tale of the day.

Post by ed »

Damn, I'll wander over there later. I m thinking that tying a rancid carcass of some sort (AC perhaps? He starts out rancid methinks) to a line and tossing it in to see if the critters are attracted.
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Re: Amusing tale of the day.

Post by ed »

I had high hopes for the damn crawdads. Even commissioned a book as you know.
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Re: Amusing tale of the day.

Post by ed »

Talks died. Ironic that.
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Re: Amusing tale of the day.

Post by ed »

I'll have my girl call your girl.
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Re: Amusing tale of the day.

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Sexists. :)
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Re: Amusing tale of the day.

Post by ed »

Abdul Alhazred wrote: ↑Tue Nov 26, 2019 5:32 pm It would have been a good show too. First the feature length film, then the half hour TV show (not unlike M*A*S*H in that regard).

A bit derivative of Mister Ed with a bit of I Dream of Jeannie thrown in. Not a problem because those are before most folks' time and it's not close enough for legal action.

The bumbling "Wilbur" type is a hard bitten old fashioned Connecticut Yankee who retired to Florida. Definitely a Gentile though of course the joke writers must be Jewish or equivalent. His friend who no one else can see is a lake monster named Moe who sounds a lot like Moe Howard (says "oh a wise guy" a lot in just that way).

:)
Wait a minute. A Hard bitten etc old white northern liberal who, becasue black folks clean his pool, thinks he "knows" what black folks want. A patronizing white liberal. Old. Crusty.

And, get ready ...
Spoiler:
Myakka Moe speaks in black dialect
Spoiler:
Is Jimmy "JJ" Walker free
Spoiler:
didnt mean "free" insensitively
.
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Re: Amusing tale of the day.

Post by Witness »

This one?

Image
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Re: Amusing tale of the day.

Post by ed »

like
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asthmatic camel
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Re: Amusing tale of the day.

Post by asthmatic camel »

ed wrote: ↑Tue Nov 26, 2019 1:52 am
asthmatic camel wrote: ↑Mon Nov 25, 2019 11:20 pm
ed wrote: ↑Mon Nov 25, 2019 12:17 pm
asthmatic camel wrote: ↑Mon Nov 25, 2019 7:06 am Very nearly my life. I flatlined twice. (And no, I didn't see any angels or any of that bullshit while I was dead.)

Twice? And THAT is enough to keep you from bringing me my Aga Opa??/ :x

Let me tell you that Nelson, after being mortally wounded, proceeded to bombard the Yucatan into submission thus adding it to Victoria's empire. And you, "flatlining" only twice put your feet up and call it a day.

I weep for your Empire.

Yeah, but Nelson had the 104 gun flagship HMS Victory and a fleet behind him.

I, however, have a fag-o-cycle and some lycra.
Piffle. He was bleeding from every orifice. That is all you have in common with His Lordship.

You make feeble excuses. If you were half the man you think you are, you would have been halfway across the pond by know, going over in your mind the words you would use to present me with these delectable morsels. But, no, you recline, pharaoh like, on your chaise lounge, sipping the nectar of the grain. I, contrariwise, mumble sadly, wondering what I had done to make you such a contrarian.

Fie!!!
Far from it, my dear fellow!

It is now 5.28 AM and I have just returned from a 60-mile night-time fag-o-cycle ride. In the rain.

I suffered two punctures, witnessed a massive punch-up at my favourite coffee bar in Manchester and was propositioned by a rather beautiful young lady, whose advances I regretfully had to decline.

I reclineth not.
Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.
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Re: Amusing tale of the day.

Post by Fid »

Bro, I'm thinking Netflix...Pulp Fiction/Downton Abby mash up?....come on Debunks a natural...
... The stars were suns, but so far away they were just little points of light ... The scale of the universe suddenly opened up to me. It was a kind of religious experience. There was a magnificence to it, a grandeur, a scale which has never left me. Never ever left me.
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Re: Amusing tale of the day.

Post by ed »

"60-mile"

At least you got the units right.
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