Amusing tale of the day.

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asthmatic camel
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Joined: Sat Jun 05, 2004 1:53 pm
Title: Forum commie nun.
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Re: Amusing tale of the day.

Post by asthmatic camel » Wed Nov 27, 2019 5:33 am

ed wrote:
Tue Nov 26, 2019 1:52 am
asthmatic camel wrote:
Mon Nov 25, 2019 11:20 pm
ed wrote:
Mon Nov 25, 2019 12:17 pm
asthmatic camel wrote:
Mon Nov 25, 2019 7:06 am
Very nearly my life. I flatlined twice. (And no, I didn't see any angels or any of that bullshit while I was dead.)

Twice? And THAT is enough to keep you from bringing me my Aga Opa??/ :x

Let me tell you that Nelson, after being mortally wounded, proceeded to bombard the Yucatan into submission thus adding it to Victoria's empire. And you, "flatlining" only twice put your feet up and call it a day.

I weep for your Empire.

Yeah, but Nelson had the 104 gun flagship HMS Victory and a fleet behind him.

I, however, have a fag-o-cycle and some lycra.
Piffle. He was bleeding from every orifice. That is all you have in common with His Lordship.

You make feeble excuses. If you were half the man you think you are, you would have been halfway across the pond by know, going over in your mind the words you would use to present me with these delectable morsels. But, no, you recline, pharaoh like, on your chaise lounge, sipping the nectar of the grain. I, contrariwise, mumble sadly, wondering what I had done to make you such a contrarian.

Fie!!!
Far from it, my dear fellow!

It is now 5.28 AM and I have just returned from a 60-mile night-time fag-o-cycle ride. In the rain.

I suffered two punctures, witnessed a massive punch-up at my favourite coffee bar in Manchester and was propositioned by a rather beautiful young lady, whose advances I regretfully had to decline.

I reclineth not.
Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.

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Fid
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Re: Amusing tale of the day.

Post by Fid » Wed Nov 27, 2019 6:34 am

Bro, I'm thinking Netflix...Pulp Fiction/Downton Abby mash up?....come on Debunks a natural...
"Try SCE to AUX."
Yeah, me and an electrified atmosphere ain't friends.

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ed
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Title: The Hero of Sukhbataar

Re: Amusing tale of the day.

Post by ed » Wed Nov 27, 2019 11:08 am

"60-mile"

At least you got the units right.
Wenn ich Kultur höre, entsichere ich meinen Browning!
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Abdul Alhazred
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Re: Amusing tale of the day.

Post by Abdul Alhazred » Wed Nov 27, 2019 3:25 pm

ed wrote:
Wed Nov 27, 2019 11:08 am
"60-mile"

At least you got the units right.
Well he is English after all.

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The arc of the moral universe bends towards chaos.
People who believe God or History are on their side provide the chaos.