How to use a strap wrench.

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Bruce
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How to use a strap wrench.

Post by Bruce » Wed Dec 26, 2018 3:39 pm

Someone at work asked me how to use a strap wrench to open a bottle.
Image

1) Extend the strap as far out as it will go.
2) Find a big strong guy in the stock room.
3) Say "Hey! Open this bottle for me" [whip crack].

Want to know how to use a strap wrench to fix your transmission? :D
Such potential!

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gnome
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Re: How to use a strap wrench.

Post by gnome » Wed Dec 26, 2018 3:51 pm

"Tell me how tall your building is or I'll hit you with this barometer."
"If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight! Sun Tzu said that, and I'd say he knows a little bit more about fighting than you do, pal, because he invented it, and then he perfected it so that no living man could best him in the ring of honor. Then, he used his fight money to buy two of every animal on earth, and then he herded them onto a boat, and then he beat the crap out of every single one. And from that day forward any time a bunch of animals are together in one place it's called a zoo! (Beat) Unless it's a farm!"
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Abdul Alhazred
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Re: How to use a strap wrench.

Post by Abdul Alhazred » Wed Dec 26, 2018 3:56 pm

The only strap wrench I ever used (or knew about) was specifically for automobile oil filters.

To open a bottle?

That picture does not look like a tool a Real Man TM would have on hand.

Pussy.

The right tool for the job :BigGrin3:

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gnome
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Re: How to use a strap wrench.

Post by gnome » Wed Dec 26, 2018 4:02 pm

Wuss.
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"If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight! Sun Tzu said that, and I'd say he knows a little bit more about fighting than you do, pal, because he invented it, and then he perfected it so that no living man could best him in the ring of honor. Then, he used his fight money to buy two of every animal on earth, and then he herded them onto a boat, and then he beat the crap out of every single one. And from that day forward any time a bunch of animals are together in one place it's called a zoo! (Beat) Unless it's a farm!"
--Soldier, TF2

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Bruce
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Re: How to use a strap wrench.

Post by Bruce » Wed Dec 26, 2018 4:58 pm

Specifically we use them to open plastic screw caps they use on glass solvent and reagent bottles. Sometimes the machines over tighten them. It's a real problem because wrenches and vice clamps will break the plastic. When that happens, you can't just leave the solvent bottle without a cap, and we don't always have spare caps because manufacturers make them in all shapes, sizes, and thread dimensions. What starts out as an annoyance can turn into a serious safety hazard that's expensive to deal with. It not like your soda bottles or mayonnaise jars at home where you can just pour the contents down the sink or chuck it in the trash.
Such potential!

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Abdul Alhazred
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Re: How to use a strap wrench.

Post by Abdul Alhazred » Wed Dec 26, 2018 5:09 pm

I withdraw my characterization of pussiness.

I didn't realize this is SCIENCE! :mrgreen:
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Nyarlathotep
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Re: How to use a strap wrench.

Post by Nyarlathotep » Wed Dec 26, 2018 7:13 pm

Not to be confused with a strap-on wrench, for tightening your strap-on
Spoiler:
Quote Redacted by Section 31

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xouper
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Re: How to use a strap wrench.

Post by xouper » Thu Dec 27, 2018 2:34 am

Bruce wrote:
Wed Dec 26, 2018 3:39 pm
Someone at work asked me how to use a strap wrench to open a bottle.
Image
I assume scientists use metric strap wrenches? Do they also make them in a left-handed version?

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shemp
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Re: How to use a strap wrench.

Post by shemp » Thu Dec 27, 2018 2:42 am

I have one, I use it to garrote chickens.
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gnome
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Re: How to use a strap wrench.

Post by gnome » Thu Dec 27, 2018 2:46 am

So that's what they're calling it lately...
"If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight! Sun Tzu said that, and I'd say he knows a little bit more about fighting than you do, pal, because he invented it, and then he perfected it so that no living man could best him in the ring of honor. Then, he used his fight money to buy two of every animal on earth, and then he herded them onto a boat, and then he beat the crap out of every single one. And from that day forward any time a bunch of animals are together in one place it's called a zoo! (Beat) Unless it's a farm!"
--Soldier, TF2

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Bruce
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Re: How to use a strap wrench.

Post by Bruce » Thu Dec 27, 2018 2:50 am

xouper wrote:
Thu Dec 27, 2018 2:34 am
Do they also make them in a left-handed version?
Yes.

To the untrained eye, the left handed version looks like the right handed version rotated 180 degrees. Those same ignorant individuals think an up quark is just a down quark that has been rotated 180 degrees. Don't be one of those fools. :P
Such potential!

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gnome
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Re: How to use a strap wrench.

Post by gnome » Thu Dec 27, 2018 2:53 am

These D-glyceraldehydes are for the other side of the house, stupid!
"If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight! Sun Tzu said that, and I'd say he knows a little bit more about fighting than you do, pal, because he invented it, and then he perfected it so that no living man could best him in the ring of honor. Then, he used his fight money to buy two of every animal on earth, and then he herded them onto a boat, and then he beat the crap out of every single one. And from that day forward any time a bunch of animals are together in one place it's called a zoo! (Beat) Unless it's a farm!"
--Soldier, TF2

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sparks
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Re: How to use a strap wrench.

Post by sparks » Thu Dec 27, 2018 2:55 am

And here I thought an up quark was a mirror reflection of a movie running backwards of a down quark.

Fuck me. :)
You can lead them to knowledge, but you can't make them think.

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xouper
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Re: How to use a strap wrench.

Post by xouper » Thu Dec 27, 2018 2:55 am

Bruce wrote:
Thu Dec 27, 2018 2:50 am
xouper wrote:
Thu Dec 27, 2018 2:34 am
Do they also make them in a left-handed version?
Yes.

To the untrained eye, the left handed version looks like the right handed version rotated 180 degrees. Those same ignorant individuals think an up quark is just a down quark that has been rotated 180 degrees. Don't be one of those fools. :P
I'm not surprised.

A metric adjustable left-handed spanner:

Image

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ed
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Re: How to use a strap wrench.

Post by ed » Thu Dec 27, 2018 11:57 am

Bruce wrote:
Wed Dec 26, 2018 4:58 pm
Specifically we use them to open plastic screw caps they use on glass solvent and reagent bottles. Sometimes the machines over tighten them. It's a real problem because wrenches and vice clamps will break the plastic. When that happens, you can't just leave the solvent bottle without a cap, and we don't always have spare caps because manufacturers make them in all shapes, sizes, and thread dimensions. What starts out as an annoyance can turn into a serious safety hazard that's expensive to deal with. It not like your soda bottles or mayonnaise jars at home where you can just pour the contents down the sink or chuck it in the trash.
Waaaaa waaaaa waaaaa

Yammering, mewling little girlie man.

God, just open the fuckers up and stop complaining.

Here, I'll do it ...

Image

Herre, let me deconstruct the whine:
Specifically we use them to open plastic screw caps they use on glass solvent and reagent bottles.
Good start, you make a clear opening statement
Sometimes the machines over tighten them.
Jesus, here you go. Waaa Waaaaa "Machines" "too tight" waaa waaaa
It's a real problem because wrenches and vice clamps will break the plastic.
"It's a real problem". A "real problem" is when a semi runs over your scrotum. That's a "real problem". Jesus. Where have you been living. Oh, yeah, Fagochussits. I forgot

When that happens, you can't just leave the solvent bottle without a cap,
Oh my God no!!!!!!!! No cap. Jesus, Isis is coming and they are going to cut off our heads. Oh, no Isis? Just a bottle without a cap? :roll:


But wait, it gets worse, much, much worse:
we don't always have spare caps
Image

OMG, how can you continue to work in that hell hole. Wait ... that's not the end of it you say???
because manufacturers make them in all shapes, sizes, and thread dimensions.


Oh lord, I hope it dosen't turn into a "SAFETY HAZARD"
What starts out as an annoyance can turn into a serious safety hazard
:roll:

Oh my, is it "expensive" too???
that's expensive to deal with.

Saw that one coming.

I bet I wouldn't understand, right?
It not like your soda bottles or mayonnaise jars at home where you can just pour the contents down the sink or chuck it in the trash.
Get over here, closer
:De_Bunk:

Now straighten up, buddy, we got Krauts to kill.
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Abdul Alhazred
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Re: How to use a strap wrench.

Post by Abdul Alhazred » Thu Dec 27, 2018 2:44 pm

See what you did Bruce?

You triggered ed.

Shame on you. :lmao:
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"Yes! A BIG REWARD!" ====> Click here to turn in a sicko
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Bruce
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Re: How to use a strap wrench.

Post by Bruce » Thu Dec 27, 2018 4:02 pm

:lol:
Such potential!