One Man and his Fag-o-Cycle

asthmatic camel · Post by **asthmatic camel** » Fri May 17, 2019 7:59 am

I've been out and about a bit this week. Yesterday, I ended up at the Manchester Museum of Science and Industry to see Stephenson's Rocket.

On the way home, I stopped in Rusholme, (a.k.a. The Curry Mile) for a coffee and watched a minor traffic altercation turn into a full-blown street battle. At least thirty blokes were slugging it out in the middle of Oxford Road, cars were being smashed up, at least two guys were knocked out, women were screaming, children crying... It was great! I tried to film it all but my phone battery gave out. Mrs. Camel reckons it's because it's Ramadan and they're all hungry.

Anyways, this was how it all began. The girl driving the black car pulled out in front of some guy when she shouldn't have. He got out and started shouting at her so another guy came to her aid because she had a kid in the car who was wailing, then another guy stepped in to try and calm things down and so it went on. Mrs. Camel works in the office across the road so she was watching with all her colleagues, one of whose cars got trashed.

Witness · Post by **Witness** » Fri May 17, 2019 11:26 pm

Full movie on YT.

asthmatic camel · Post by **asthmatic camel** » Mon May 20, 2019 12:33 am

Another good day out, (not on my fag-o-cycle today but on my thoroughly masculine road bike as I had about fifty miles to cover.)

Ports of call included Bramhall Park, where it was the Rotary Club's annual Duck Race Day. I wanted a go on the bouncy castle but they wouldn't let me: the little girl dancing to the jazz band made up for it, though, the cutest thing I've seen in a while. My alma mater, Cheadle Hulme School, where the groundsmen kindly let me in to take a few pics, Cheadle Village and, finally, Harrisons Weir at the country park where I work: a good spot to scoff my picnic.

shemp · Post by **shemp** » Mon May 20, 2019 12:54 am

Why did they name the school and village after Don Cheadle?

ed · Post by ed » Mon May 20, 2019 1:38 am

asthmatic camel wrote: ↑Mon May 20, 2019 12:33 am Another good day out, (not on my fag-o-cycle today but on my thoroughly masculine road bike as I had about fifty miles to cover.)

Ports of call included Bramhall Park, where it was the Rotary Club's annual Duck Race Day. I wanted a go on the bouncy castle but they wouldn't let me: the little girl dancing to the jazz band made up for it, though, the cutest thing I've seen in a while. My alma mater, Cheadle Hulme School, where the groundsmen kindly let me in to take a few pics, Cheadle Village and, finally, Harrisons Weir at the country park where I work: a good spot to scoff my picnic.

Cultural appropriation

Cute kid though

asthmatic camel · Post by **asthmatic camel** » Tue May 21, 2019 4:23 am

So, yesterday I set off to the Peak District early and watched the dawn rise over MamTor.9 Twenty-five miles away and a 1500 foot climb. Not bad going for an old man!

I was home for 9.30 for coffee toast and Radio 4 in the garden...

And then headed off to the art studio for a few hours. I took a few snaps of our more interesting old buildings on the way home.

The plan is working: I've lost seven pounds in the last week.

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Tue May 21, 2019 5:00 am

So the laxative worked?

Et cetera.

--J.D.

asthmatic camel · Post by **asthmatic camel** » Tue May 21, 2019 7:48 am

Watch it, Doc; I'm seriously considering getting back to the dojo this week...

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Tue May 21, 2019 8:21 am

Ooooo! Is that a challenge?

--J.D.

asthmatic camel · Post by **asthmatic camel** » Wed May 22, 2019 7:28 am

asthmatic camel · Post by **asthmatic camel** » Thu May 23, 2019 2:17 am

I chained my fag-o-cycle to this lamp-post when I stopped for a coffee in Manchester this morning.

asthmatic camel · Post by **asthmatic camel** » Thu May 23, 2019 2:32 am

asthmatic camel · Post by **asthmatic camel** » Tue May 28, 2019 12:33 am

Overnight, some wag added a Hitler moustache to the Farage poster.

Witness · Post by **Witness** » Tue May 28, 2019 12:46 am

OK, if it has morphed into AC appreciation thread, I appreciate:

shemp · Post by **shemp** » Tue May 28, 2019 12:53 am

Hitler's moustache was actually a Dirty Sanchez he received from Hermann Göring.

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Tue May 28, 2019 12:58 am

You disparage the Farage?

--J.D.

Pyrrho · Post by **Pyrrho** » Fri Jul 12, 2019 11:09 pm

sparks · Post by **sparks** » Sat Jul 13, 2019 3:51 am

Now there's a big load of butt-hurt just waiting to happen.

Witness · Post by **Witness** » Sun Jul 14, 2019 12:11 am

Witness · Post by **Witness** » Mon Jul 15, 2019 3:34 am

AC, always the gentleman.

asthmatic camel · Post by **asthmatic camel** » Wed Jul 24, 2019 8:32 pm

This is me...

Witness · Post by **Witness** » Thu Jul 25, 2019 2:08 am

Don't be an egoist, share!

asthmatic camel · Post by **asthmatic camel** » Thu Jul 25, 2019 3:56 am

I would, but fitting Mrs. Camel into the side-car would be a struggle, she's an opera singer type.

Anaxagoras · Post by **Anaxagoras** » Thu Jul 25, 2019 3:58 am

Do pennyfarthings have brakes?

How could that not end in disaster?

asthmatic camel · Post by **asthmatic camel** » Thu Jul 25, 2019 4:28 am

No, they don't have brakes, only pedals and a single gear. You stop by ceasing to pedal.

My slightly bonkers friend, Merlin owns one and he's welcome to it.

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Thu Jul 25, 2019 6:12 am

One needs to remember that they were popular back when everyone had seven kids, because they expected to lose at least three of them to the croup and wandering bands of pedophiles before they got married.

These contraptions helped with the culling. Like steam powered conveyances and fruit cake. In all, it was considered better than to die of ennui playing cricket or being sent to Australia.

No I have not been drinking.

--J.D.

Witness · Post by **Witness** » Thu Jul 25, 2019 2:58 pm

asthmatic camel wrote: ↑Thu Jul 25, 2019 3:56 am I would, but fitting Mrs. Camel into the side-car would be a struggle, she's an opera singer type.

Come on, I'm sure that sidecar is a chick magnet.

Videos on YT, if you care.

asthmatic camel · Post by **asthmatic camel** » Wed Aug 14, 2019 8:58 am

Oh dear, look what I found on the bookshelves while having a tidy up. A gift from my grandparents and one of the first books I ever read. How times have changed.

sparks · Post by **sparks** » Wed Aug 14, 2019 2:48 pm

What? A TIGER? IN AFRICA????

sparks · Post by **sparks** » Wed Aug 14, 2019 5:49 pm

And if you read between the lines real closely, you'll also discover that he's transitioning.

Into a reptilian!

shemp · Post by **shemp** » Wed Aug 14, 2019 7:19 pm

Looking at the inner sleeve of that book, I see listed there a book by Nora Case called "Ten Little Nigger Boys."

???WHAT DAFUQ???

A bit of googling shows that Nora Case was an Australian author who in the early 1900s wrote that book, along with the sequel "Ten Little Nigger Girls"! Each of these books was the story of ten "nigger" children who, one by one, die in horrible ways! And these were written for children to read!

The past certainly is a foreign country. WOW!

asthmatic camel · Post by **asthmatic camel** » Wed Aug 14, 2019 7:59 pm

Abdul Alhazred wrote: ↑Wed Aug 14, 2019 12:22 pm IIRC, Sambo (parents Mumbo and Jumbo) tangles with a tiger.

So stereotype notwithstanding, he must be an Indian Sambo.

Correct! Our hero, Sambo, outwits the evil tigers by getting them to chase each others' tails around a tree so fast that they melt and turn into ghee.

I know it's outrageously un-PC by today's standards but it's really quite a charming childrens' book and I read it over and over.

asthmatic camel · Post by **asthmatic camel** » Wed Aug 14, 2019 8:01 pm

Moving on, in the interests of marital harmony, I've had to install a fag-o-cycle rack in my den...

asthmatic camel · Post by **asthmatic camel** » Wed Aug 14, 2019 9:00 pm

I also found the time to make some decent Northern English food.

Three dozen pickled eggs, which are now festering away in a dark cupboard.

Witness · Post by **Witness** » Wed Aug 14, 2019 9:49 pm

ceptimus · Post by **ceptimus** » Wed Aug 14, 2019 10:48 pm

That electrical socket could do with a good clean. [/disapproval]

asthmatic camel · Post by **asthmatic camel** » Thu Aug 15, 2019 7:25 am

Abdul Alhazred wrote: ↑Wed Aug 14, 2019 10:58 pm
ceptimus wrote: ↑Wed Aug 14, 2019 10:48 pm That electrical socket could do with a good clean. [/disapproval]

Already done, Old Bean. (It'd been hidden behind the bed settee for years.)

Witness · Post by **Witness** » Thu Aug 15, 2019 10:18 pm

AC fleeing a lady's wrath, 1900.

shuize · Post by **shuize** » Fri Aug 16, 2019 6:02 am

Was the rack meant to cover the picture with the rack?

Rob Lister · Post by **Rob Lister** » Fri Aug 16, 2019 2:21 pm

the spots are mold. just sayin'