The Wisdom of a Lifetime

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Bruce
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The Wisdom of a Lifetime

Post by Bruce » Fri Jul 26, 2019 1:45 am

This is the thread to share your life lessons and tidbits of wisdom.

Here's mine:

In the vast majority of situations that life throws at you, the best thing you can do to prevent things from getting worse is keep your fecking mouth shut.
Such potential!

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asthmatic camel
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Re: The Wisdom of a Lifetime

Post by asthmatic camel » Fri Jul 26, 2019 2:06 am

Here's mine:

In the vast majority of situations that life throws at you, the best thing you can do to prevent things from getting worse is to kick the living daylights out of some cunt who's really irritated you. Out of sight of cameras and police officers.
Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.

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Nyarlathotep
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Re: The Wisdom of a Lifetime

Post by Nyarlathotep » Fri Jul 26, 2019 2:24 am

asthmatic camel wrote:
Fri Jul 26, 2019 2:06 am
Here's mine:

In the vast majority of situations that life throws at you, the best thing you can do to prevent things from getting worse is to kick the living daylights out of some cunt who's really irritated you. Out of sight of cameras and police officers.

I like the way you think
Spoiler:
Quote Redacted by Section 31

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Bruce
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Re: The Wisdom of a Lifetime

Post by Bruce » Fri Jul 26, 2019 2:27 am

It is more fun to give out bad advice and watch to see what happens. I guess that's why people become consultants.
Such potential!

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shemp
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Re: The Wisdom of a Lifetime

Post by shemp » Fri Jul 26, 2019 2:31 am

Never open a can. It might be a can of worms.
"It is not I who is mad! It is I who is crazy!" -- Ren Hoek

Freedom of choice
Is what you got
Freedom from choice
Is what you want

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Nyarlathotep
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Re: The Wisdom of a Lifetime

Post by Nyarlathotep » Fri Jul 26, 2019 3:34 am

Knowing is half the battle.

The other half is violence
Spoiler:
Quote Redacted by Section 31

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Witness
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Re: The Wisdom of a Lifetime

Post by Witness » Fri Jul 26, 2019 3:35 am

Ah, oh, hum…

Perhaps an unpopular opinion, but I learned early on that laziness is always rewarded.

Then I read the (allegedly Chinese) saying that laziness sharpens the wits.

And I was sold. :P

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Pyrrho
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Re: The Wisdom of a Lifetime

Post by Pyrrho » Fri Jul 26, 2019 10:09 am

Ignore everybody.
The flash of light you saw in the sky was not a UFO. Swamp gas from a weather balloon was trapped in a thermal pocket and reflected the light from Venus.

shuize
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Re: The Wisdom of a Lifetime

Post by shuize » Fri Jul 26, 2019 12:55 pm

It's taken me a long time (and I still don't do it all that well) but I'm starting to realize that I don't really need to let things bother me.

Of course, it's a lot easier to say this now that I've got a little money in the bank.

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asthmatic camel
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Re: The Wisdom of a Lifetime

Post by asthmatic camel » Fri Jul 26, 2019 1:27 pm

Were it currently possible, I'd transfer my mind into the cloud and allow Mrs. Camel to turn me off whenever I get on her tits.
Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.

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Doctor X
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Re: The Wisdom of a Lifetime

Post by Doctor X » Fri Jul 26, 2019 5:59 pm

Everything makes sense; you just need to know why.

--J.D.
Mob of the Mean: Free beanie, cattle-prod and Charley Fan Club!
"Doctor X is just treating you the way he treats everyone--as subhuman crap too dumb to breathe in after you breathe out."--Don
DocX: FTW.--sparks
"Doctor X wins again."--Pyrrho
"Never sorry to make a racist Fucktard cry."--His Humble MagNIfIcence
"It was the criticisms of Doc X, actually, that let me see more clearly how far the hypocrisy had gone."--clarsct
"I'd leave it up to Doctor X who has been a benevolent tyrant so far."--Grammatron
"Indeed you are a river to your people.
Shit. That's going to end up in your sig."--Pyrrho
"Try a twelve step program and accept Doctor X as your High Power."--asthmatic camel
"just like Doc X said." --gnome

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asthmatic camel
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Re: The Wisdom of a Lifetime

Post by asthmatic camel » Fri Jul 26, 2019 6:55 pm

Doctor X wrote:
Fri Jul 26, 2019 5:59 pm
Everything makes sense; you just need to know why.

--J.D.
You reckon? Try telling Mrs. Camel that vitamin pills are a waste of money and that God doesn't exist.

:De_Bunk:
Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.

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asthmatic camel
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Re: The Wisdom of a Lifetime

Post by asthmatic camel » Fri Jul 26, 2019 7:22 pm

Think carefully about your wife when her birthday/wedding anniversary/Christmas approaches and buy her fuck all.

It'll save money and avoid rows because you've bought the wrong fucking thing, however hard you've tried.
Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.

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ed
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Re: The Wisdom of a Lifetime

Post by ed » Fri Jul 26, 2019 9:47 pm

Nothing really matters very much except the people closest to you.
And, even then, if you and your kid are being chased by a bear, you would do well to trip the little ingrate so that you can make your escape.

In 100 years your name won't even be remembered. The pitiful inheritance you left to your family, or the home for stray cats, will long since have been dissipated.

Endow something "in perpetuity"? Awwwwww ... you are so cute when you show your gullible side:
“I asked him, How long is ‘in perpetuity’?”

“For you, 50 years,” Mr. de Montebello, the museum director, replied.
So enjoy yourself, you go around exactly once, don't fuck anyone over just for lulz and relax.
Wenn ich Kultur höre, entsichere ich meinen Browning!

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asthmatic camel
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Re: The Wisdom of a Lifetime

Post by asthmatic camel » Fri Jul 26, 2019 10:17 pm

Miserable cunt.

Fuck everyone who deserves it over for shits, giggles and grins.

There's no Hell, so you might as well.
Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.

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ed
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Re: The Wisdom of a Lifetime

Post by ed » Fri Jul 26, 2019 11:17 pm

Well, if they're French...
Wenn ich Kultur höre, entsichere ich meinen Browning!

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Bruce
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Re: The Wisdom of a Lifetime

Post by Bruce » Fri Jul 26, 2019 11:27 pm

asthmatic camel wrote:
Fri Jul 26, 2019 10:17 pm
Miserable cunt.

Fuck everyone who deserves it over for shits, giggles and grins.

There's no Hell, so you might as well.
What if you're not a psychopath and get no joy or satisfaction out of fucking over other people, even if they deserve it? What if fucking over other people just makes you feel like a piece of shit and gives you anxiety because you know that retaliation is coming because it always does?
Such potential!

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asthmatic camel
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Re: The Wisdom of a Lifetime

Post by asthmatic camel » Sat Jul 27, 2019 5:01 am

Bruce wrote:
Fri Jul 26, 2019 11:27 pm
asthmatic camel wrote:
Fri Jul 26, 2019 10:17 pm
Miserable cunt.

Fuck everyone who deserves it over for shits, giggles and grins.

There's no Hell, so you might as well.
What if you're not a psychopath and get no joy or satisfaction out of fucking over other people, even if they deserve it? What if fucking over other people just makes you feel like a piece of shit and gives you anxiety because you know that retaliation is coming because it always does?
Perhaps you could start being a psychopath in easy stages and see how it goes. You know, like stealing the bosses lunch from the office fridge.
Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.

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Grammatron
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Re: The Wisdom of a Lifetime

Post by Grammatron » Sat Jul 27, 2019 5:41 am

Know your worth

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Doctor X
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Re: The Wisdom of a Lifetime

Post by Doctor X » Sat Jul 27, 2019 6:38 am

Image

What?

--J.D.
Mob of the Mean: Free beanie, cattle-prod and Charley Fan Club!
"Doctor X is just treating you the way he treats everyone--as subhuman crap too dumb to breathe in after you breathe out."--Don
DocX: FTW.--sparks
"Doctor X wins again."--Pyrrho
"Never sorry to make a racist Fucktard cry."--His Humble MagNIfIcence
"It was the criticisms of Doc X, actually, that let me see more clearly how far the hypocrisy had gone."--clarsct
"I'd leave it up to Doctor X who has been a benevolent tyrant so far."--Grammatron
"Indeed you are a river to your people.
Shit. That's going to end up in your sig."--Pyrrho
"Try a twelve step program and accept Doctor X as your High Power."--asthmatic camel
"just like Doc X said." --gnome

ImageWS CHAMPIONS X4!!!! ImageNBA CHAMPIONS!! Stanley Cup!Image SB CHAMPIONS X6!!!!!! Image