The Feral Hog Invasion

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Pyrrho
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The Feral Hog Invasion

Post by Pyrrho »

https://www.texasmonthly.com/travel/fer ... rn-states/
Dear Yankee,

The South has fallen. Apparently so has Canada. Now an invading army of feral hogs is threatening to come for you. Trust us, we’ve seen the worst down here in Texas. When the hogs arrive up North, you’re in for a porky horror show. Wild pigs are rapacious. Rooting and marauding day and night, they can and will destroy your lawn, your crops, the fairways of your local golf course, and whatever else they run across. Feral hogs were blamed for the recent death of a woman from Liberty. (That’s a town in East Texas, not a state of mind, though we do like to live free in the Lone Star State.) And yes—as the memes foretold—thirty to fifty feral hogs can run into your yard within three to five minutes while your small kids play. It’s never too soon to panic.
Want to shoot a hog? Aim for the head, just below the ear, advises hunting guide Bruce Hunnicutt.

Taking down a mean old razorback is nothing like harvesting deer and other game more common to the northern United States, says Hunnicutt, owner of White Oak Outfitters in Northeast Texas and a hog hunting guide since 1993.

“You can’t run from ’em,” he says. “You gotta stand your ground and shoot, I’ll tell you that.”
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The flash of light you saw in the sky was not a UFO. Swamp gas from a weather balloon was trapped in a thermal pocket and reflected the light from Venus.

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ed
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Re: The Feral Hog Invasion

Post by ed »

They are not a joke down here either.

Evidentially they dig and then cattle trip and break their legs and have to be destroyed. Ranchers hate them. There is no closed season and no rules about the weapons you can use. I have met people at shows that hunt from helicopters with machine guns.

I've had them on my property but no real problems yet.

I've heard two things about eating them. One is "don't" the other is that they are just like pig. They are ugly brutes and look really compact. Muscular if you know what I mean.
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shemp
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Re: The Feral Hog Invasion

Post by shemp »

I don't know who's saying "no" but they're wrong. But you've got to be sure they're cooked thoroughly, because they can harbor parasites that farmed hogs don't have. I had roasted leg of wild boar at a restaurant up here a few years ago, and it was very good. Cook it slowly and keep it moist, it can dry out quickly.
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Fid
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Re: The Feral Hog Invasion

Post by Fid »

That story about getting treed in GSMNP* was not bullshit.

Great Smoky Mountians National Park
... The stars were suns, but so far away they were just little points of light ... The scale of the universe suddenly opened up to me. It was a kind of religious experience. There was a magnificence to it, a grandeur, a scale which has never left me. Never ever left me.
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ed
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Re: The Feral Hog Invasion

Post by ed »

Hell, some little ones chased my SIL's dog into the woods. He went in to rescue the critter and ran into mom who proceeded to chase him home :)
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Abdul Alhazred
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Re: The Feral Hog Invasion

Post by Abdul Alhazred »

Hey! At least they are good eatin' :Hungry2:
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robinson
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Re: The Feral Hog Invasion

Post by robinson »

oh really?

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shemp
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Re: The Feral Hog Invasion

Post by shemp »

Abdul Alhazred wrote:
Wed Jan 01, 2020 5:58 pm
Hey! At least they are good eatin' :Hungry2:
Yes they are, but if you hunt them, you better get them with the first shot or they'll get you! Right in the head, use exploding bullets, blow their fucking brains out, the whole pack!
"It is not I who is mad! It is I who is crazy!" -- Ren Hoek

"what dicking deep shit i produce" -- pillory

Freedom of choice
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People are shitting themselves to death
Crap so much they fail to take a breath
But even when their kids are starvin'
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Re: The Feral Hog Invasion

Post by Nyarlathotep »

Feral Hog Invasion is what I was going to name my band

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Abdul Alhazred
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Re: The Feral Hog Invasion

Post by Abdul Alhazred »

Nyarlathotep wrote:
Wed Jan 01, 2020 9:50 pm
Feral Hog Invasion is what I was going to name my band
My band's name will be pronounced "Feral Hog Invasion" but spelled "Federal Hog Invasion". :BigGrin3:
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Witness
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Re: The Feral Hog Invasion

Post by Witness »

Should have kept the local predators to regulate the hog population. :twisted:

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Abdul Alhazred
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Re: The Feral Hog Invasion

Post by Abdul Alhazred »

Witness wrote:
Wed Jan 01, 2020 9:59 pm
Should have kept the local predators to regulate the hog population. :twisted:
Humans ARE the local predators. :coolspecs:
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ed
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Re: The Feral Hog Invasion

Post by ed »

Witness wrote:
Wed Jan 01, 2020 9:59 pm
Should have kept the local predators to regulate the hog population. :twisted:
Not sure what that would be. We have lots of coyotes but I am not sure they are big enough. Panthers are few and far between. Probably a big 12"+ python could do it. But those are not indigenous.

They say the hogs might date from the time of the conquistadors so not sure what predictors we should have kept.
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shemp
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Re: The Feral Hog Invasion

Post by shemp »

We should have kept conquistadors!

Also, the 2nd Amendment gives me the right to use nuclear weapons to blow up packs of hogs! Kills 'em and cooks 'em at the same time!
"It is not I who is mad! It is I who is crazy!" -- Ren Hoek

"what dicking deep shit i produce" -- pillory

Freedom of choice
Is what you got
Freedom from choice
Is what you want

People are shitting themselves to death
Crap so much they fail to take a breath
But even when their kids are starvin'
They thought Trump would throw them Charmin.

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Abdul Alhazred
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Re: The Feral Hog Invasion

Post by Abdul Alhazred »

shemp wrote:
Wed Jan 01, 2020 11:16 pm
We should have kept conquistadors!

Also, the 2nd Amendment gives me the right to use nuclear weapons to blow up packs of hogs! Kills 'em and cooks 'em at the same time!
And to Hell with the FDA! 8)
Image "If I turn in a sicko, will I get a reward?"

"Yes! A BIG REWARD!" ====> Click here to turn in a sicko
The arc of the moral universe bends towards chaos.
People who believe God or History are on their side provide the chaos.

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Witness
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Re: The Feral Hog Invasion

Post by Witness »

Good point.

From the Feral Hogs Community of Practice:
History of Feral Hogs in the United States

Feral hogs (also called wild hogs), belonging to the species Sus scrofa, are not native to the United States. The presence of these animals in this country is solely attributable to man-made introductions, some of which were intentional while others were accidental. Basically, two types of Sus scrofa, Eurasian wild boar and domestic swine, were introduced into the United States. Because these two types are conspecifics, wherever both of them were found together in the wild, interbreeding occurred. As a result, there are now three general types of wild hogs present in this country (Fig. 1). However, because this situation represents a very diverse hybrid complex, the distinguishing lines among these three general types are not always clear morphologically; genetic analyses may be necessary to sort out the ancestry of any one specific population of unknown origin.

Historically, the first man-made introduction of hogs into the United States was on the Hawaiian Islands. These animals were carried there by the early Polynesian immigrants who first colonized these islands. Hogs were abundant on all of the islands within this archipelago at the time of the first European contact in the 18th Century. The first hogs to be brought to continental North America were of European origin. The first importation of domestic swine into North America came with the second voyage of Christopher Columbus in 1493. Among the livestock acquired in the Canary Islands to provision this expedition were eight “selected” domestic pigs that were taken onboard at the island of Gomera. These animals and their offspring became the stock that populated the newly formed settlements and outposts on the islands of Cuba, Hispaniola, and Jamaica. From these animals sprang the immense herds that sustained the Spanish explorers on their journeys to the mainland during the early 1500s. It was from these ambulatory stocks of swine used by these initial expeditions that the first well-documented feral populations of wild hogs originated in the continental United States.
https://feralhogs.extension.org/history ... ed-states/ for the rest.

Bears could take them on (not sure if they would, so). Wolf packs hunt hogs in Europe.

Bonus: how swine looked during the Middle Ages:

Image

[Typo corrected.]
Last edited by Witness on Wed Jan 01, 2020 11:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.

shuize
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Re: The Feral Hog Invasion

Post by shuize »

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ed
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Re: The Feral Hog Invasion

Post by ed »



Tannerite
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Pyrrho
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Re: The Feral Hog Invasion

Post by Pyrrho »

Thus bringing to fruition all predictions contingent upon pigs flying.
The flash of light you saw in the sky was not a UFO. Swamp gas from a weather balloon was trapped in a thermal pocket and reflected the light from Venus.

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ed
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Re: The Feral Hog Invasion

Post by ed »

Actually it falsifies the oft repeated claim that if pigs could fly, they'd have wings.
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