Causing a Facepalm

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Rob Lister
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Causing a Facepalm

Post by Rob Lister »

Image

I'm [not yet] willing to relate my most worstest faceplam causing moment ever, but I'll give you one that's pretty fucking bad.

Navy. 1977. Bootcamp. Week three.

All we did was march. March and march and march. We marched. That's all it seemed we did. Marching taught us to not only follow instructions, but to do so as a team ... or so we were told. We actually had marching inspections wherein a senior officer of the recruit facility would grade each recruit company's marching.

Now I generally marched like there was no tomorrow. I liked marching.

During a marching inspection, the RCPO (Recruit Chief Petty Offier) guiding the march issued the order, "Right turn, march!" At which point I immediately made a left turn and therefore running into about three other recruits in the other columns, knocking two of them down. It took ten or fifteen seconds just to recover. We failed the inspection. We (I) headed back to the barracks to accept our (my) dress-down. We were all pop-tall in front of our racks.

The Company Commander got right in my face, nose-to-nose, just like you've seen in the motion pictures, and began berating me in front of the whole company:

"Recruit Lister, do you want to tell the company why you personally fucked all of us totally and made such a dumbfuck error? We've only been working on left or right for three weeks now. What the fuck is your problem!" The ! doesn't really depict the anger and volume.

"Well Sir, The RCPO was in a reverse march, facing us, while giving the right turn order, so I was just compensating for his orientation. I knew his right was my left.

The entire company, broke rank from attention and facepalmed.

I did okay after that but it followed me, at least lightly, through my entire career. I might have PTSD because of it.

...

Your turn.

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asthmatic camel
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Re: Causing a Facepalm

Post by asthmatic camel »

You should have joined the British Army.

Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.

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Abdul Alhazred
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Re: Causing a Facepalm

Post by Abdul Alhazred »

I hear the fun army to be in nowadays is the Russian army. :)

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Rob Lister
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Re: Causing a Facepalm

Post by Rob Lister »

Don't be a pussy, tell your own.

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Abdul Alhazred
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Re: Causing a Facepalm

Post by Abdul Alhazred »

Never had the honor of serving, but thank you for my freedom. :p
Image "If I turn in a sicko, will I get a reward?"

"Yes! A BIG REWARD!" ====> Click here to turn in a sicko
The arc of the moral universe bends towards chaos.
People who believe God or History are on their side provide the chaos.

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Rob Lister
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Re: Causing a Facepalm

Post by Rob Lister »

Abdul Alhazred wrote:
Tue Jan 14, 2020 6:25 pm
Never had the honor of serving, but thank you for my freedom. :p
You're being a pussy. This ain't about serving, it's about facepalm. Of all the folks at SC, you more than many have had a facepalm.

fag.

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Abdul Alhazred
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Re: Causing a Facepalm

Post by Abdul Alhazred »

Facepalm? Me? Never! :coolspecs:

Not going to make something up just to avoid being called a pussy. :BigGrin3:
Image "If I turn in a sicko, will I get a reward?"

"Yes! A BIG REWARD!" ====> Click here to turn in a sicko
The arc of the moral universe bends towards chaos.
People who believe God or History are on their side provide the chaos.

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Giz
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Location: USA!

Re: Causing a Facepalm

Post by Giz »

Rob Lister wrote:
Tue Jan 14, 2020 3:54 pm
Image

I'm [not yet] willing to relate my most worstest faceplam causing moment ever, but I'll give you one that's pretty fucking bad.

Navy. 1977. Bootcamp. Week three.

All we did was march. March and march and march. We marched. That's all it seemed we did. Marching taught us to not only follow instructions, but to do so as a team ... or so we were told. We actually had marching inspections wherein a senior officer of the recruit facility would grade each recruit company's marching.

Now I generally marched like there was no tomorrow. I liked marching.

During a marching inspection, the RCPO (Recruit Chief Petty Offier) guiding the march issued the order, "Right turn, march!" At which point I immediately made a left turn and therefore running into about three other recruits in the other columns, knocking two of them down. It took ten or fifteen seconds just to recover. We failed the inspection. We (I) headed back to the barracks to accept our (my) dress-down. We were all pop-tall in front of our racks.

The Company Commander got right in my face, nose-to-nose, just like you've seen in the motion pictures, and began berating me in front of the whole company:

"Recruit Lister, do you want to tell the company why you personally fucked all of us totally and made such a dumbfuck error? We've only been working on left or right for three weeks now. What the fuck is your problem!" The ! doesn't really depict the anger and volume.

"Well Sir, The RCPO was in a reverse march, facing us, while giving the right turn order, so I was just compensating for his orientation. I knew his right was my left.

The entire company, broke rank from attention and facepalmed.

I did okay after that but it followed me, at least lightly, through my entire career. I might have PTSD because of it.

...

Your turn.
Suddenly, all the recent USN collisions start to make sense. Listers traumatized fellow recruits have made command rank!

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ed
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Re: Causing a Facepalm

Post by ed »

During a deployment, the Commodore guiding the Battle Group issued the order, "Right turn, all ahead full!" At which point I immediately made a left turn and therefore running into about three other ships in the other columns, sinking two of them. It took ten or fifteen seconds just to recover.
About that stereo

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Abdul Alhazred
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Re: Causing a Facepalm

Post by Abdul Alhazred »

Dunno what Lister thought he was starting. :lmao:

Image "If I turn in a sicko, will I get a reward?"

"Yes! A BIG REWARD!" ====> Click here to turn in a sicko
The arc of the moral universe bends towards chaos.
People who believe God or History are on their side provide the chaos.

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Giz
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Re: Causing a Facepalm

Post by Giz »

The way to recover is to scream “Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead!” and don’t stop until you reach the brig

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Abdul Alhazred
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Re: Causing a Facepalm

Post by Abdul Alhazred »

Look what I found. :)

Image "If I turn in a sicko, will I get a reward?"

"Yes! A BIG REWARD!" ====> Click here to turn in a sicko
The arc of the moral universe bends towards chaos.
People who believe God or History are on their side provide the chaos.