Bruce in 30 years

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Bruce
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Title: Bruce of all Bruces
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Bruce in 30 years

Post by Bruce »

I've come to a realization that my debts aren't going to be paid off before I die. I'm in that awful segment of middle class where I don't make enough money to pay much more than the minimum payments, but make too much money to qualify for any financial aid or debt forgiveness. Like a starship futilely trying to escape a black hole, I'm creeping slowly backward toward the inevitable, no matter how much I accelerate. Just recently, I achieved a salary increase that put me into a higher tax bracket. Like a kick in the gut, my reward for this achievement is less take-home pay and more of my earnings going to the government.

I saw this coming a long time ago and made my daughter promise to let me live in her basement when I get too old to work. She's turning out to be as reclusive as me, so we might still have a deal. She's into Manga and likes to hang out in her room all day drawing pictures and reading. I'm thinking one day, we can build a cabin in the woods. She can write and publish all she wants and I'll just sit on the front porch and scare away fans.....and other pesky intruders like bill collectors, IRS, ex-wives, etc....
D1233_13_159_600.jpg
I don't know anyone named Bruce, and I don't know nothin' bout no Manga, or student loans, or unpaid mortgage, or alimony. I'm just simple folk with a simple rule. Nobody bothers my daughter while she writes her stories. Now git off my property! Go on, now. GIT!!
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Last edited by Bruce on Sat Jun 06, 2020 10:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Such potential!

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robinson
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Re: Bruce in 30 years

Post by robinson »

I approve of your plan
♪ ♫ ♩ ♬ "

"Science and Mother Nature are in a marriage where Science is always surprised to come home and find Mother Nature blowing the neighbor."

♪ ♫ ♩ ♬

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Anaxagoras
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Re: Bruce in 30 years

Post by Anaxagoras »

Bruce wrote:
Sun Apr 19, 2020 5:09 am
Just recently, I achieved a salary increase that put me into a higher tax bracket. Like a kick in the gut, my reward for this achievement is less take-home pay and more of my earnings going to the government.
Just so you know, that's not how it works. Income tax brackets are marginal, so you only pay a higher rate on the amount earned above that level. You can't get a raise that results in less net income because of taxes.
A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool.
William Shakespeare

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Rob Lister
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Re: Bruce in 30 years

Post by Rob Lister »

Anaxagoras wrote:
Sun Apr 19, 2020 10:24 am
Bruce wrote:
Sun Apr 19, 2020 5:09 am
Just recently, I achieved a salary increase that put me into a higher tax bracket. Like a kick in the gut, my reward for this achievement is less take-home pay and more of my earnings going to the government.
Just so you know, that's not how it works. Income tax brackets are marginal, so you only pay a higher rate on the amount earned above that level. You can't get a raise that results in less net income because of taxes.
Image

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Anaxagoras
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Re: Bruce in 30 years

Post by Anaxagoras »

I'm just sayin.
A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool.
William Shakespeare

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Rob Lister
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Re: Bruce in 30 years

Post by Rob Lister »

Image

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Bruce
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Re: Bruce in 30 years

Post by Bruce »

This. This right here. This I why I keep coming back. Thank you so much. Really. :GroupHug::
Such potential!

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ed
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Re: Bruce in 30 years

Post by ed »

Thats me already. Welcome to Florida!!!!
About that stereo

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Hotarubi
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Re: Bruce in 30 years

Post by Hotarubi »

ed wrote:
Sun Apr 19, 2020 11:42 am
Thats me already. Welcome to Florida!!!!
Yup. Bruce's picture is exactly what I think you look like.
Yep, you totally outsmarted me ~ Wildcat.

:ball2:

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asthmatic camel
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Re: Bruce in 30 years

Post by asthmatic camel »

He looks much fatter than that.
Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.

shuize
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Re: Bruce in 30 years

Post by shuize »

Anaxagoras wrote:
Sun Apr 19, 2020 10:24 am
Bruce wrote:
Sun Apr 19, 2020 5:09 am
Just recently, I achieved a salary increase that put me into a higher tax bracket. Like a kick in the gut, my reward for this achievement is less take-home pay and more of my earnings going to the government.
Just so you know, that's not how it works. Income tax brackets are marginal, so you only pay a higher rate on the amount earned above that level. You can't get a raise that results in less net income because of taxes.

Maybe not, but you can definitely get a "raise" that results in more work than what the increase in pay (not to mention the increase in taxes) is worth.

It's not uncommon for Japanese universities (at least a certain Japanese university I'm familiar with) to require their instructors to carry more classes and more committee work when they move up the lecturer, assoc. prof., prof. ladder.

On the bright side, it's like a military pay scale (rank and time in grade) and one generally gets a raise every year regardless of merit. (Ha! Ha!)

Those who know the game try to park at assoc. professor (while the university often pushes them to apply for promotion) since the last step is almost all "status" and not at all worth the increase in workload.

My girlfriend says it's even worse at a lot of Japanese law firms and, bizarrely, "partnership" is often something to avoid as it carries greater financial responsibilities without all the financial benefits one sees in the pyramid structure of law firms in the U.S. which usually have an army of associates working to enrich a small number of partners.

I'm getting off topic, but my girlfriend told me something else that really surprised me. She said a lot of Japanese firms allow associates to work for a set salary to handle assigned firm cases and also "eat what they kill" (i.e. keep most of the fees of cases they bring in on their own) with partners having to give it all to the firm. From what I know about U.S. firms, bringing in business is what gets you on the partnership track. But the idea that they'd let an associate use the firm resources, secretaries, etc. and collect fees on their own cases while also being paid a salary by the firm is bonkers.
"Don't trust China. China is asshoe."

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robinson
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Re: Bruce in 30 years

Post by robinson »

Bruce wrote:
Sun Apr 19, 2020 5:09 am
Like a starship futilely trying to escape a black hole, I'm creeping slowly backward toward the inevitable, no matter how much I accelerate.
I feel the same way about death. No matter what I do, death is going to get me. Anything done is just to delay it, there is no escape.
♪ ♫ ♩ ♬ "

"Science and Mother Nature are in a marriage where Science is always surprised to come home and find Mother Nature blowing the neighbor."

♪ ♫ ♩ ♬

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sparks
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Re: Bruce in 30 years

Post by sparks »

No one gets out alive.

Sorry.

The real trick is to arrange to enjoy your time here. Otherwise it's all a waste.
You can lead them to knowledge, but you can't make them think.

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Bruce
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Re: Bruce in 30 years

Post by Bruce »

Mrs Bruce: STOP FARTING!!!

Me: For the millionth time, I'm not doing it on purpose.

Mrs. Bruce: 😠

Me: If I could do it on purpose........I would be doing it so much more often and making it smell so much worse...

Mrs Bruce: 😡😡😡😡🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬
Such potential!

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Witness
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Re: Bruce in 30 years

Post by Witness »

One of the unsung problems of living together. :mrgreen: