The British Food for ed Thread

[Hotarubi]

We used to call spotted dick that as well.

[asthmatic camel]

Flies’ Cemetery

In parts of the UK, because of their appearance, fruit pastry slices with dried fruit inside, are referred to as a Flies’ Cemetery.

A cellarman's dread, Witness. The EU Health & Safety people used to insist that they were wiped out professionally by the likes of Rentokil. Institutional and governmental blackmail. Hot water, bleach and fly spray did the job for a fraction of the cost.

[Witness]

fly spy

[Hotarubi]

Fly spray.

[asthmatic camel]

Fly spray.

I stand corrected. TWVM

[Witness]

£8.40 / 500 g

And they mock the French for eating snails! (Who eat the bigorneaux too, BTW.)

[asthmatic camel]

FFS, is that a whelk? Even I can't stomach those rubbery fuckers.

I am, however, rather partial to Escargots.

[Witness]

FFS, is that a whelk? Even I can't stomach those rubbery fuckers.

I think not, whelk is (as per the Internet) Buccinum sp. while the picture is of a (peri)winkle, Littorina. But one never knows with common names…

I am, however, rather partial to Escargots.

Hera! Hear!

But I'm not a fan.

[asthmatic camel]

Ah, winkles are a different matter. Delicious with a honey and mustard dip.

[ed]

what are they like? I might get some as a bonus gift for some folks here.

https://www.amazon.com/s?k=pickled+waln ... _sb_noss_1

They're delicious, (I shit you not), one of the finest pickles money can buy. Perfect on their own or sliced, a delightful addition to any meat sandwich. Opies vinegar is so good that I save it for reuse.

Charles Dickens mentioned them in The Pickwick Papers

Charles Dickens in his book The Pickwick Papers, published in 1836. In chapter 49 he writes,

However, there he lay, and I have heard my uncle say, many a time, that the man said who picked him up that he was smiling as merrily as if he had tumbled out for a treat, and that after they had bled him, the first faint glimmerings of returning animation, were his jumping up in bed, bursting out into a loud laugh, kissing the young woman who held the basin, and demanding a mutton chop and a pickled walnut. He was very fond of pickled walnuts, gentlemen. He said he always found that, taken without vinegar, they relished the beer.

Mind you, looking at the price you'd be paying, they'd better be some good friends you're buying for. Over here I can get them for around £2.50 a jar.

Yup ed, they're good. And you're paying over the odds. However , I would suggest you take your nuts with a mean gorgonzola and a robust port.

I'll be ordering from Fortnum and Mason. Quality for quality.

Gave a jar to my wife. I am lucky I'm not divorced. Holy shit, it's like eating ... dunno ... horrid horrid.

Jesus Christ, what the fuck are you lot trying to do to me?

OMG, I almost puked <--first time I ever used that word on the interwebs

You should be ashamed.

I am informed that these things should be eaten with Stilton which is one of my favorite things in the iuniverse. I will re-assess tomorrow.
But I am watching you.

BTW ... where are the goddamn walnuts? These things look like pig balls. In that sense they are nuts I suppose.

[Hotarubi]

Some random factors are distinctly plausible:

A/ Something affected your tastebuds immediately before eating such as sucking on a rusty nail, eating toothpaste or soil for examples.

B/ A-C has a much discussed "Northern Palate" and would find a dog turd sandwiched between two random selections from a box of Peek Freans' Luxury biscuit assortment to be the highlight of culinary decadence and you are an idiot to take his advice.

C/ I saw an opportunity to stitch you up.

D/ B & C

Thanks and hugs.

[ed]

Shit

[Witness]

[asthmatic camel]

Merry Christmas, my friends.

[shemp]

Is that Spotted Dick?

Merry Christmas to you too AC!

[ed]

Merry mt friends.

[asthmatic camel]

what are they like? I might get some as a bonus gift for some folks here.

https://www.amazon.com/s?k=pickled+waln ... _sb_noss_1

They're delicious, (I shit you not), one of the finest pickles money can buy. Perfect on their own or sliced, a delightful addition to any meat sandwich. Opies vinegar is so good that I save it for reuse.

Charles Dickens mentioned them in The Pickwick Papers

Charles Dickens in his book The Pickwick Papers, published in 1836. In chapter 49 he writes,

However, there he lay, and I have heard my uncle say, many a time, that the man said who picked him up that he was smiling as merrily as if he had tumbled out for a treat, and that after they had bled him, the first faint glimmerings of returning animation, were his jumping up in bed, bursting out into a loud laugh, kissing the young woman who held the basin, and demanding a mutton chop and a pickled walnut. He was very fond of pickled walnuts, gentlemen. He said he always found that, taken without vinegar, they relished the beer.

Mind you, looking at the price you'd be paying, they'd better be some good friends you're buying for. Over here I can get them for around £2.50 a jar.

Yup ed, they're good. And you're paying over the odds. However , I would suggest you take your nuts with a mean gorgonzola and a robust port.

I'll be ordering from Fortnum and Mason. Quality for quality.

Gave a jar to my wife. I am lucky I'm not divorced. Holy shit, it's like eating ... dunno ... horrid horrid.

Jesus Christ, what the fuck are you lot trying to do to me?

OMG, I almost puked <--first time I ever used that word on the interwebs

You should be ashamed.

I am informed that these things should be eaten with Stilton which is one of my favorite things in the iuniverse. I will re-assess tomorrow.
But I am watching you.

BTW ... where are the goddamn walnuts? These things look like pig balls. In that sense they are nuts I suppose.

Please give my apologies to Mrs. ed.

I couldn't give much of fuck if you puked your guts up. I am after all an English gentleman.

[asthmatic camel]

Is that Spotted Dick?

Merry Christmas to you too AC!

Christmas Pudding. Spotted Dick is close.

[asthmatic camel]

Here's a Christmas Pudding complete with Kung Flu bat wings...

[Hotarubi]

Is that Spotted Dick?

Merry Christmas to you too AC!

[Witness]

[ed]

Beef Wellington is the low tier? I like Scotch eggs. If only they were pickled, with walnuts.

[Witness]

↑ I disagree with some points of this classification too.

[Pyrrho]

Fake but seems worthy:

[Witness]

Toad in the hole.

[Hotarubi]

↑ I disagree with some points of this classification too.

"Some?"

[Anaxagoras]

That actually looks yummy to me, but I don't think it would ever occur to me to try something called "toad in the hole" based on the name. The name is just not appealing.

Is the sausage made from toads?

[Hotarubi]

That actually looks yummy to me, but I don't think it would ever occur to me to try something called "toad in the hole" based on the name. The name is just not appealing.

Is the sausage made from toads?

Nah, just sausages in Yorkshire pudding batter.

Pretty uninspiring.

This is 2nd rate cook and mockney wanker Jamie Oliver's version on his website.



No really. He actually has that picture on his website.

[ed]

I likshepadds pie and like bangers and mash a lot.

[Witness]

↑ I disagree with some points of this classification too.

"Some?"

Only due to my ignorance: I haven't had the… um… pleasure of tasting everything from that list.

[Witness]

This is 2nd rate cook and mockney wanker Jamie Oliver's version on his website.

My first thought was dead birds in feathers thrown together.

[Witness]

A comment I grabbed from the Interwebz:

The English were the Klingons of Europe throughout much of their history - going out and conquering less warlike populations; focused on hierarchy, tribal affiliation, and empire. Klingon food probably wouldn't be so great, either. England isn't a a world power anymore, but they still haven't learned to cook.

[Hotarubi]

I likshepadds pie

Is that a fucking Bengali side dish I don't know about?

[Hotarubi]

A comment I grabbed from the Interwebz:

The English were the Klingons of Europe throughout much of their history - going out and conquering less warlike populations; focused on hierarchy, tribal affiliation, and empire. Klingon food probably wouldn't be so great, either. England isn't a a world power anymore, but they still haven't learned to cook.

I'd dispute that.

We were more like Romulans.

Etc.

I tend to ignore anachronistic stereotypes about British food. In the South East we're up there with the best for quality dining currently thanks to resturanteurs and Chefs sporting a huge gap in the international market in the 90s.

7th most Michelin stars currently. Considering:

1/ The French are dishing out the stars.
2/ We have to carry the gastronomic deserts of the North and Wales on our backs...

...we're obviously not doing too bad.

[Witness]

I tend to ignore anachronistic stereotypes about British food. In the South East we're up there with the best for quality dining currently thanks to resturanteurs and Chefs sporting a huge gap in the international market in the 90s.

7th most Michelin stars currently. Considering:

1/ The French are dishing out the stars.
2/ We have to carry the gastronomic deserts of the North and Wales on our backs...

...we're obviously not doing too bad.

Let me first say that I enjoyed most of my food during trips to the UK, including in the parts of London where the cuisine came from the (* cough *) empire. So I'm not a hater.

As for the Michelin stars ¹ that's really ironic, considering that we are in the "British food" thread and the third column from this relevant Wiki page:



These last years I also heard that some chefs renounced their stars, feeling that the Michelin competition was a counterproductive rat race. I can understand that.

I'm not familiar with the "gastronomic deserts" you cite, but it stands to reason, I think, that uber-posh restaurants like the 3-stars won't congregate to regions where clients can't afford the prices.
So the real question, meseems, would be: is there really nothing tasty to eat there?

---

¹ Let's not forget that Michelin is, first, a tire manufacturer. Who published his guides (foremost the Guide bleu) so people would drive around. All this is finally a plot to get these tires worn down.

[Hotarubi]

Was the quote not "learned how to cook"? And not what they were cooking?

Besides that, there's a plethora of one and two star resturant all over

I agree with the gastronomic ratrace comment. Especially with pretentious dessert specialists - yet like it or not Michelin remains the benchmark.

Maybe I'm spoiled, I live a stone's throw from Bray and Heston's place is pure theatre and "Oooh..this ice cream really does taste like bacon and eggs". But the food is terrific.

[Hotarubi]

.
So the real question, meseems, would be: is there really nothing tasty to eat there?

Plenty. Just look further than the traditional stuff on that list. Which, aside from a good Wellington, is generally bland.

Yes, even the full English Breakfast isn't all *that good*

[Witness]

.
So the real question, meseems, would be: is there really nothing tasty to eat there?

Plenty. Just look further than the traditional stuff on that list. Which, aside from a good Wellington, is generally bland.

Yes, even the full English Breakfast isn't all *that good*

Perhaps I wasn't clear: I meant "the deserts".

"Just look further than the traditional stuff on that list."
Some suggestions, pretty please?

As for the "English Breakfast", I remember very well the little sausages in the B&Bs, half meat half sawdust. And as I was traveling with a lady, we quickly noticed that I always got the rancid end slice of the bacon. (Which made us laugh. Ah! Memories…)