Me, speaking to mental health professionals...

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asthmatic camel
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Me, speaking to mental health professionals...

Post by asthmatic camel »

This happens from time to time. Because I'm a fucking nutter.

Last night, it went something like this...

MHF 1, "Didn't I see you with Dr. Powersmith a few years ago?"

Me. "Yes, she's a fucking bitch."

MHF2 was glad she was wearing a mask.

MHF1, "She's a forensic psychiatrist!"

Me. "That may be so but she's an obese forensic psychiatrist, still a fucking bitch and I'm buggered if I'm taking lectures in self-control from the likes of her. Had a bloke spoken to me that way, I'd have punched him through the reinforced windows"

MHF2, stuffed an extra mask in her mouth.

No free Xmas dinner for me in the loonie bin, I was sent straight home in a cab paid for by the hospital. :De_Bunk:
Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.
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ed
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Re: Me, speaking to mental health professionals...

Post by ed »

That is the kind of attitude that gave you victory at Trafalgar!!!!

Huzza!!!
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Re: Me, speaking to mental health professionals...

Post by asthmatic camel »

ed, I was in a bad way, Seriously slashed my upper body to shreds with my super-sharp work knife. Probably because it's nearly Christmas. Any help? Not one whit apart from reducing a couple of mental health nurses to tears of laughter. Don't go mad in Britland, seeking treatment just makes it worse. :)
Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.
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Re: Me, speaking to mental health professionals...

Post by Anaxagoras »

Sorry to hear that, AC. :Squeeze2:
A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool.
William Shakespeare
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ed
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Re: Me, speaking to mental health professionals...

Post by ed »

Me too.
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gnome
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Re: Me, speaking to mental health professionals...

Post by gnome »

A few extra turns of duct tape around the head should hold it a while longer.

Be well.
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ed
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Re: Me, speaking to mental health professionals...

Post by ed »

You know, this got me to thinking. You are painting a rather off-putting profile of the Camel household. So far my takeaway is that a visitor would be treated to horrid and never ending harmonica "music", random episodes of alcohol fueled lunacy resulting in mayhem to various parties, absurd displays of supposed manly activities with airguns and, I suspect, frightening manifestations of repellent VooDoo practices on the part of your lady wife whose Caribbean roots are, I fear, not too deeply buried. Or, more probably, would be unearthed at the first sign of unwanted visitors.

All in all, it is something out of Wodehouse.

If you don't want us to visit, a simple "sod off" would have sufficed.
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shemp
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Re: Me, speaking to mental health professionals...

Post by shemp »

ed wrote: Mon Dec 21, 2020 4:41 pm You know, this got me to thinking. You are painting a rather off-putting profile of the Camel household. So far my takeaway is that a visitor would be treated to horrid and never ending harmonica "music", random episodes of alcohol fueled lunacy resulting in mayhem to various parties, absurd displays of supposed manly activities with airguns and, I suspect, frightening manifestations of repellent VooDoo practices on the part of your lady wife whose Caribbean roots are, I fear, not too deeply buried. Or, more probably, would be unearthed at the first sign of unwanted visitors.

All in all, it is something out of Wodehouse.

If you don't want us to visit, a simple "sod off" would have sufficed.
I need more than this to get me to visit. Perhaps a beheading or two could be added?
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ed
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Re: Me, speaking to mental health professionals...

Post by ed »

It would be so cool if my wife practiced Voodoo.

Geoffrey Holder could live out in a hut by the fog shrouded Lake Ed.
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Problem is that this is florida.

No one would notice. :cry:
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Witness
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Re: Me, speaking to mental health professionals...

Post by Witness »

Haven't been in the UK for years, but that re-ignited my Wanderlust! :mrgreen: (A shot of single malt will do for now as a Proustian "madeleine".)

Take care, AC, I'd like to be able to buy you a pint if and when I come along…
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Re: Me, speaking to mental health professionals...

Post by Hotarubi »

Witness wrote: Tue Dec 22, 2020 3:08 am Haven't been in the UK for years, but that re-ignited my Wanderlust! :mrgreen: (A shot of single malt will do for now as a Proustian "madeleine".)
Do not say Glenmorangie. Pls do not say Glenmorangie.
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Re: Me, speaking to mental health professionals...

Post by Witness »

Hotarubi wrote: Tue Dec 29, 2020 12:46 am Do not say Glenmorangie. Pls do not say Glenmorangie.
That's what the locals drank in the Shetlands. So it's "authentic", right? Ha ha!

Concerning my personal tastes, I refer you to our award-winning Scotch Whiskey (sic!) thread. Sadly most of my pics have gone down with the hosting site I used then. :(
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Re: Me, speaking to mental health professionals...

Post by Hotarubi »

Witness wrote: Tue Dec 29, 2020 1:10 am
Hotarubi wrote: Tue Dec 29, 2020 12:46 am Do not say Glenmorangie. Pls do not say Glenmorangie.
That's what the locals drank in the Shetlands. So it's "authentic", right? Ha ha!

Concerning my personal tastes, I refer you to our award-winning Scotch Whiskey (sic!) thread. Sadly most of my pics have gone down with the hosting site I used then. :(
Thanks for the link.. A single that is found in every single pub in the UK is really just mass produced nonsense. GM is the Coors or Carling Black label of whisky.

Personally, I have an acquaintance who is the joint owner of the Bruichladdich distillery.

I get a bottle of the '94 unpeated every year. Just having a glass now.

Image

Come on. That is whisky porn.
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I only steal from the rich. :BigGrin3: ~ Witness
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Re: Me, speaking to mental health professionals...

Post by Witness »

Hotarubi wrote: Tue Dec 29, 2020 1:29 am I get a bottle of the '94 unpeated every year. Just having a glass now.
A bottle to kill for, apparently.

Hotarubi wrote: Tue Dec 29, 2020 1:29 am '94
Anniversary? :shock:
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Re: Me, speaking to mental health professionals...

Post by Doctor X »

Was Francis Urquart's choice.

– J.D.

P.S. Sorry I did not see this earlier, AC. Hope you are doing better. At least it is not 2020 anymore.
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