A potential vindication of AC

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ed
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A potential vindication of AC

Post by ed »

AC has earned derisive comments from me regarding his air "gun" which is, I am sure, under the legal limit for such things in the emerging UK nanny state. Other posters, I am sure, engage in eye rolls and forbear to post nasty comments.

I was particularly gobsmacked when I read that he, armed with aforementioned air gun (WITH a telescopic sight I might add!), went out, at dawn no less (!!!) to hunt and kill ... snails.

I have a good mind but I was and am unable to conjure up an image of a slightly worse for wear, gangly brit (doubtless in camo) crawling about with a fucking AIR GUN in the pre dawn cold with the object of shooting a 1/8" mollusk. The mind, as Kelly Bundy was wont to say, "Wobbles".

Just to clarify the situation as presented, here is a composite drawing of the hunter and his <giggle> prey:
u1_l2_man1.jpg
OK, are we all on the same page?

Good. Now the purpose of this thread is not to further mock AC, or his choice of weapons but rather for me to apologize <snigger>. I may have posted a link to this story somewhere along the line but it came to mind whilst I was having my morning chuckle imagining the 6'5", camo clad camel galumphing thru the underbrush in pursuit of his univalved foe. I was just considering if he tracked them thru careful examination of their ubiquitous slime trails or whether he employed a hound or hamster or something to sniff them out. I also wondered if he raised a cry of "Tally-Ho" when he sighted them.

Then I considered the estimable Patricia Highsmith and her wonderful story "The Quest for Blank Claveringi" and I rethought all of my nasty thoughts. "Maybe the old sot is into something" I thought (many thoughts flying about as you can see). Anyway, my apologies and if you have not yet, then please read this
https://www.google.com/books/edition/El ... frontcover

Also, if you have not read Highsmith's Ripley do yourself a favor and read it.
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Last edited by ed on Mon Jan 04, 2021 1:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: A potential vindication of AC

Post by ed »

I came across this illustration for the original publication of the story I somehow think that his is what AC's pursuit looks like in his mind.
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Re: A potential vindication of AC

Post by gnome »

Mynd you, snail bites Kan be pretti nasti
"If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight! Sun Tzu said that, and I'd say he knows a little bit more about fighting than you do, pal, because he invented it, and then he perfected it so that no living man could best him in the ring of honor. Then, he used his fight money to buy two of every animal on earth, and then he herded them onto a boat, and then he beat the crap out of every single one. And from that day forward any time a bunch of animals are together in one place it's called a zoo! (Beat) Unless it's a farm!"
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Re: A potential vindication of AC

Post by ed »

gnome wrote: Mon Jan 04, 2021 3:01 pm Mynd you, snail bites Kan be pretti nasti
So you are saying that he is protecting his home? Really? You want to go with that?
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Re: A potential vindication of AC

Post by DJ »

Given the circumstances he doesn’t have a lot of options. He’s still a shooter, and a snail with an air gun can be quite a shot.
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Re: A potential vindication of AC

Post by ed »

Unless you just wound them. Then it gets nasty real quick.
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Re: A potential vindication of AC

Post by DJ »

It seems as though tracking should be pretty easy? :dunno:


:D
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Re: A potential vindication of AC

Post by Giz »

Wondering about the psychology of it all... are the survivors shellshocked?
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Re: A potential vindication of AC

Post by Hotarubi »

Prefer a hammer. Humane.
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Re: A potential vindication of AC

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I note the absence of a certain camel.
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Re: A potential vindication of AC

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He’s got the hump?
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Re: A potential vindication of AC

Post by ed »

Snail hunting has exciting moments but it is a slow past time. Glacial one might say.
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Re: A potential vindication of AC

Post by asthmatic camel »

What's wrong with hunting snails? There's bugger all else that you're allowed to hunt around here. Not without a firearms licence.

My neighbours know I'm a little peculiar but they also enjoy growing their own food. Now that slug and snail pellets are banned, why not fill the greedy little fuckers full of lead? :D
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Re: A potential vindication of AC

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Considered stag(beetles)? You could create a miniature trophy room sporting their antlers!
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Re: A potential vindication of AC

Post by asthmatic camel »

What we could really do with is a pet hedgehog. I never saw any slugs or snails in gardens with resident hedgehogs.
Boring Linky

The idea of my dressing up in camo gear to go snail hunting is enormously amusing. I do possess a fleece which vaguely resembles camo gear but Mrs. Camel hates it and won't allow me to be seen in public wearing it.

I go snail-hunting in my pyjamas and slippers. With my churchwarden pipe in my mouth.

Picture that if you dare. :D
Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.
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Re: A potential vindication of AC

Post by gnome »

Can I come along?
Gnome_Commando_2.png
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"If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight! Sun Tzu said that, and I'd say he knows a little bit more about fighting than you do, pal, because he invented it, and then he perfected it so that no living man could best him in the ring of honor. Then, he used his fight money to buy two of every animal on earth, and then he herded them onto a boat, and then he beat the crap out of every single one. And from that day forward any time a bunch of animals are together in one place it's called a zoo! (Beat) Unless it's a farm!"
--Soldier, TF2
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Re: A potential vindication of AC

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gnome wrote: Tue Jan 05, 2021 8:08 pm Can I come along?

Gnome_Commando_2.png
By all means! I think I could build you a catapult made from rubber bands and old bean cans.

It's got to be worth a try!
Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.
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Re: A potential vindication of AC

Post by Witness »

asthmatic camel wrote: Tue Jan 05, 2021 6:16 pm I go snail-hunting in my pyjamas and slippers. With my churchwarden pipe in my mouth.
How utterly British! :)
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Re: A potential vindication of AC

Post by Hotarubi »

Witness wrote: Wed Jan 06, 2021 12:41 am
asthmatic camel wrote: Tue Jan 05, 2021 6:16 pm I go snail-hunting in my pyjamas and slippers. With my churchwarden pipe in my mouth.
How utterly British! :)
Not wearing socks. Disgrace!
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Re: A potential vindication of AC

Post by Giz »

I’d assumed his feet were decently clothed, even when on his own property. As the great hunter, Profumo had it:

To hunt on the village green is obscene
But to hunt in the nude would be rude
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Re: A potential vindication of AC

Post by asthmatic camel »

Hotarubi wrote: Wed Jan 06, 2021 2:07 am
Witness wrote: Wed Jan 06, 2021 12:41 am
asthmatic camel wrote: Tue Jan 05, 2021 6:16 pm I go snail-hunting in my pyjamas and slippers. With my churchwarden pipe in my mouth.
How utterly British! :)
Not wearing socks. Disgrace!
Of course I wear socks! I'm an English gentleman. I wear socks when I'm having a bath. To do otherwise would be beastly.
Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.
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Re: A potential vindication of AC

Post by ed »

Sock wearin', snail killin' , inebriated limey bastard.

Nah, doesn't have the right ring.
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Re: A potential vindication of AC

Post by Witness »

The pyjama killer.


Ethnographic side note: Algerians used to hang out at night in the city squares wearing faux silk pyjamas, either silver or ultra-posh gold colored. :)
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Re: A potential vindication of AC

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Adria Spelling.

Elementary my dear Watson.
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Re: A potential vindication of AC

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ed wrote: Wed Jan 06, 2021 6:22 pm Sock wearin', snail killin' , inebriated limey bastard.

Nah, doesn't have the right ring.
Daaahhhhhhh!

PipesuckinsockwearingunshootinJamaicanfuckingbikebuildindrunkstumblintrainbuildinlardeatingevergivingnorthernfucker...AC!

Come on. I nailed that.
Yep, you totally outsmarted me ~ Wildcat.

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Re: A potential vindication of AC

Post by asthmatic camel »

You did, my friend. I am, however, much more eccentric than you could possibly believe. :D
Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.
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Re: A potential vindication of AC

Post by asthmatic camel »

Witness wrote: Wed Jan 06, 2021 10:33 pm The pyjama killer.


Ethnographic side note: Algerians used to hang out at night in the city squares wearing faux silk pyjamas, either silver or ultra-posh gold colored. :)
Algerians can kiss my English arse. Fuckers. ;)
Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.
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Re: A potential vindication of AC

Post by Witness »

asthmatic camel wrote: Thu Jan 07, 2021 4:36 am Algerians can kiss my English arse. Fuckers. ;)
You hunt in a camo pyjama?
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Re: A potential vindication of AC

Post by asthmatic camel »

I hunt in long johns covered by a warm dressing gown. Wearing socks and slippers.

It is the English way.
Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.
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Re: A potential vindication of AC

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Quiet desperation is the English way.