The movie trailer thread

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gnome
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The movie trailer thread

Post by gnome » Tue Dec 20, 2005 3:05 am

Ok here's the game. Someone announces a made-up movie title... the next poster writes a monologue for the trailer (and a description if they like) and announces the next title...

You get buzzed if you name a movie that someone's already made.

I'll start it off:

A sports movie: "Duck, Duck, Goose"

CHARLEY_BIGTIME

Re: The movie trailer thread

Post by CHARLEY_BIGTIME » Tue Dec 20, 2005 6:28 am

gnome wrote:Ok here's the game. Someone announces a made-up movie title... the next poster writes a monologue for the trailer (and a description if they like) and announces the next title...

You get buzzed if you name a movie that someone's already made.

I'll start it off:

A sports movie: "Duck, Duck, Goose"
"certainly not a tickle between the legs"

(True story)

Failed cricket star encounters homosexuality abundant in NFL players union due to government conspiracy (etc.) experiments with depleted uranium sofas. (Or something.)

<new title> The surf Zombies of Ishrah: The return of the Braaainnsss!<end>

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Re: The movie trailer thread

Post by gnome » Tue Dec 20, 2005 1:59 pm

CHARLEY_BIGTIME wrote:<new title> The surf Zombies of Ishrah: The return of the Braaainnsss!<end>
(a slow mist rolls along a barren landscape)

Movie trailer guy: "They thought the zombies were finally beaten..."

(traveling along the ground, more mist)

"They thought it was safe to go outside again."

(a pickup truck careens into the picture, carrying partying teenagers)

"They were wrong...."

(figures shamble into the mist... the truck suddenly screeches to a halt and turns around too fast--some of the teenagers tumble out and are abandoned as the truck leaves... they scramble to their feet, screaming and running, as the figures come into focus... zombies in jams!)

(scenes of bloodshed and mayhem, people barricaded into houses as zombies pound on the door... explosions and fires too)

A voice from beyond the grave whispers "Dude...." as the scene fades.

...

Next movie: "Animal Farm: The Next Generation"

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Post by pillory » Tue Dec 20, 2005 3:24 pm

tne next genea´ration at animal farm start huminating people....people are apes....Apes planet rules.....OK?


chomedy:last Pillories
Pillory-deletable stuff since Sat Jun 05, 2004 6:15 pm

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Luke T.
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Post by Luke T. » Wed Dec 21, 2005 4:16 pm

pillory wrote: chomedy:last Pillories
(Peter Green soundtrack plays as camera zooms in on a bottle of whiskey)

Announcer: What happens when you don't believe how your environment of smells affects young ones?

Pillory voiceover: If you have woman..you must keep it satisfied...

(Artsy shot of a shock of hair protruding from the top of pillory's head against a blurry dark background)

Announcer: Have you ever tried to be a part of the wisdom of the world?

Pillory voiceover: I'm so sleepy dooby doo

Announcer: Should everybody dicks his own potatoes?

Pillory voiceover: I need answers. Only two beers left.

Announcer: Coming this Christmas, The Last Pillories

fade to black as we hear, "I've went to the otherside...I wanna come back..."


Next title: Red State, Blue State
[size=75]"it seems you don't believe how your enviroment of smells affects for a young ones.how many young girl are are in just involved in porn industry just because of lack of natural smells" - pillory (7/13/02)[/size]

I [size=167]♣[/size]69dodge

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Post by Evolver » Wed Dec 21, 2005 4:39 pm

Luke T. wrote:Next title: Red State, Blue State
<black screen>
<full screen title:> AN ILLEGAL WAR
<black screen>
<full screen title:> TREASON
<black screen>
<full screen title:> SPYING ON AMERICANS
<black screen>
<full screen title:> WHO IS REALLY IN CHARGE?
<black screen>
<full screen title:> COMING THIS JUNE
<black screen>
<full screen title:> RED STATE, BLUE STATE
<black screen>
<full screen title:> WHY HONEST REPUBLICANS ARE SAD ABOUT THEIR CHOICE FOR PRESIDENT
<black screen>
<full screen title:> A (mostly) TRUE STORY
DIRECTED BY MICHAEL MOORE


Next Title: Skeptic Love
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Post by Nyarlathotep » Wed Dec 21, 2005 4:50 pm

Luke T. wrote:

Next title: Red State, Blue State
Kelsey Grammer and Jeff Foxworthy star in the mother of all buddy comedies. When a small town Texas sherrif has to hide a New York ACLU lawyer on the run from the mob, hilarity ensues!

(Cut to Jeff Foxworthy barbecuing burgers outside of a trailer, Kelsey Grammer walks out of the trailer)

Kelsey: It seems I've got a leak in the sink in there

Jeff: Gotta leak in the sink? Go ahead, everyone else does.

Red State, Blue State COming soon to a theater near you!

Next movie: Hamlet II: The Revenge.
The Luggage said nothing, but louder this time.

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Post by Evolver » Wed Dec 21, 2005 4:57 pm

Someone is too slow today.
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Post by Nyarlathotep » Wed Dec 21, 2005 4:58 pm

Evolver wrote:Someone is too slow today.
Had a phone call in the middle of typing mine out.
The Luggage said nothing, but louder this time.

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Post by Luke T. » Wed Dec 21, 2005 5:04 pm

Evolver wrote:Next Title: Skeptic Love
Nyarlathotep wrote:Hamlet II: The Revenge
Cynical : Hark, I saw a figure, like my father that's dead!

Claus : Is not this something more than fantasy?

Cynical : Thou callest me a liar?

Claus : Something is rotten in the state of Denmark.

Cynical : There are more things in heaven and earth, Flodin,
than are dreamt of in your philosophy.



Next Title: What Would Jesus Do?
[size=75]"it seems you don't believe how your enviroment of smells affects for a young ones.how many young girl are are in just involved in porn industry just because of lack of natural smells" - pillory (7/13/02)[/size]

I [size=167]♣[/size]69dodge

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Post by Bearguin » Wed Dec 21, 2005 5:35 pm

Luke T. wrote: Next Title: What Would Jesus Do?

Fade from black...

Jesus sitting on the toilet

Fade to black and out

Jesus standing at the sink in his PJ's brushing his teeth

Fade to black and out

Jesus reading the paper with a cup of coffee and some toast on a plate

Title "What would Jesus do?




The same as the rest of us....."

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Post by Bearguin » Wed Dec 21, 2005 5:35 pm

Ooops.

Need to add a new title.

"When Canada invades"

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Post by Nyarlathotep » Wed Dec 21, 2005 5:43 pm

Bearguin wrote:Ooops.

Need to add a new title.

"When Canada invades"
(A battle scene, Rick Moranis is dressed in a generals uniform, wearing a wool hat, looking uncomforatable)

"Get that Artillery on that hill, eh. The 2nd Cav'll be counter-attacking any minute. Where are those hosers in the armored division"

(Dave Thomas appears in a tank, also in uniform)

"Sorry eh. Had to stop for a beer and some back bacon"

(Title super imposed on screen)

Bob and Doug McKenzie in WHEN CANADA ATTACKS.

Coming this summer

Next movie: Tookie and Me.
The Luggage said nothing, but louder this time.

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Post by Evolver » Wed Dec 21, 2005 6:32 pm

Nyarlathotep wrote: Next movie: Tookie and Me.
<Tookie Williams & Tookie Amirault sitting at a table>
Tookie Amirault: "Ever wonder what you'd do if some little bastard in your day care center ratted you out to the police?"
Tookie Williams: "I'd shoot 'em in the eye."

Announcer: "Tookie and Tookie, one on one! What could be more insightful?"

<on screen: Tookie & Tookie are joined by Dustin Hoffman as "Tootsie">

Announcer: "Starts Friday at your local art-house theater."

Next movie: Ow! That Hurts!
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Post by gnome » Thu Dec 22, 2005 9:47 pm

Evolver wrote: Next movie: Ow! That Hurts!
Ow! That Hurts! (The Jackie Chan experience)

A 1.5 hour IMAX compilation of "blooper" clips of Jackie Chan films, showing scenes of him injuring himself one way or another (with interviews).

"See all the mistakes... (image of Jackie Chan hitting a wall with his face)... the splits (image of him landing VERY badly)... the spills (falling off a balcony)... and be happy that you're not him."

Next movie:

"Let's 'Do It' For Our Country"

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Post by Nyarlathotep » Thu Dec 22, 2005 10:22 pm

"Critics call Lets 'Do It' For Our COuntry the knock out comedy of the year!"

"Jon Lovitz is Brilliant as patriotic porn producer 'Shakes McNasty'! says Mike Hunt of Rolling Stone!"

(cut to scene of Jon Lovitz talking on the phone) "No, really, we'll attach a tiny flag to it and see if Lisa can duplicate the flag raising on Iwo Jima! It'll be fantastic, and a stirring tribute to the troops!"

"Tommy Lee Jones' role as the televangelist trying to shut Shakes down is the highlight of his career! says Randy Fokker of People Magazine!"

(Cut to scene of Tommy Lee Jones behind a pulpit) "I don't care if it IS dyed red, white and blue, It's STILL an affront to the lord!"

Don't miss Let's 'Do It' For Our Country! Now playing in selected cities, opens Friday everywhere!

Next movie: Freddy vs. Aliens vs. Godzilla
The Luggage said nothing, but louder this time.

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Post by gnome » Sun Dec 25, 2005 11:46 pm

Nyarlathotep wrote:Next movie: Freddy vs. Aliens vs. Godzilla
Good one, BTW...

"They mostly come out at night..."

(Alien monster hordes slither among the trees at a familiar-looking neighborhood)

"But when they lay dormant... he invades their dreams"

(An alien monster tosses and turns in a rest cubicle, and then suddenly a hand with finger-blades explodes from its belly, killing it)

"They draw him into the real world for the final battle..."

Freddy stands in the street, surrounded by Aliens...a fight begins...

"On Elm Street, no one can hear you scream... except maybe for..."

(a green scaled foot stomps the lot of them)

(bold letters, silence)

GODZILLA.

Next movie:

"Weebles"

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Post by Evolver » Mon Dec 26, 2005 5:05 pm

gnome wrote: "Weebles"
(Dakota Fanning sitting on the floor, playing with toys, singing to herself)

Announcer: "When toys go bad, everybody pays."

(Close-up of Fanning screaming)

Announcer: "Weebles!"

(Eric Bana pulls daughter Fanning behind him, protecting her)

Fanning (in obnoxious screaming voice): "They're getting closer!!!"

(Bana reaches behind Fanning and pulls out a missile launcher and fires. You see an explosion, but details of the target are not shown to the audience)

Bana: "They wobble.... but they don't fall down!!"

On screen: VALENTINES DAY 2006


Next movie "The Ass Whisperer"
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Post by DrMatt » Tue Dec 27, 2005 7:44 pm

I thought Weebles was going to have pie in it. Lo Bob. Or rather, uuuhi uiu.
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Post by Evolver » Tue Dec 27, 2005 8:48 pm

DrMatt wrote:I thought Weebles was going to have pie in it. Lo Bob. Or rather, uuuhi uiu.
You must be thinking of the other Weebles.
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