Next movie: C-Span: The Motion Picture
"You've seen it on your digital guide."
(image of an on-screen tv channel. It moves to the C-Span channel, and past it without a pause)
"You've surfed past it."
(rear shot of a guy on a sofa, with obligatory stained tank top, flipping channels slowly. The C-Span channel appears for but an instant... he finally arrives at some female dancers shaking their stuff on MTV, and he lowers the remote)
"But now, you won't want to miss it!"
(cut to walking conversation between Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson, both in business suits)
Owen: I can't believe you bet them our house
that we'd get C-SPAN a twenty share by Christmas! That's just not cool.
Ben: I'm sorry, I... (shakes his head). He got me going. You know I'm competitive. I just... got carried away. God, that was STUPID. I guess we'd better start looking for an apartment.
Owen: How can you be so competitive when you're all negative like that? Don't you like to win sometimes?
Ben: Sure, I'd like to... not that it ever happens.
Owen: Well, buddy, that's about to change, 'cause I'm not losing our house. I like our house. How long have we been roommates?
Ben: Three years.
Owen: Three years, and you should know me well enough by now. I'm not giving up, and neither are you.
"Now, they have just three months to turn C-SPAN from this:"
(scene of the same couch potato watching TV from his sofa. He snores lazily as the screen shows the announcement: QUORUM CALL. Empty seats, with a digital clock on the screen. Every once in a while a congressman walks forward to register his name)
"Into cable's hottest new channel."
Cut to a frenzy inside the House chambers... cheerleaders dance and chant in the background... minor shoving matches have erupted all through the auditorium. A debate is going on, mediated by Pamela Anderson... a spokeperson for each party makes professional-wrestling style announcements about their agenda, all while posing and pointing at each other. (a few cameo appearances by actual congressmen here)
Pan to Ben and Owen, looking on.
Ben: How'd you get them to agree to this?
Owen: Are you kidding? They're attention whores to begin with. Once they realized that all the publicity would get them even more audience, they agreed right away!
Ben: It just seems like such a farce.
Owen: Not at all, buddy. I mean, look at it... it's just the same as it was before, only they've stopped being so pretentious.
Ben: (rubs his chin, agreeing slowly)
"Coming this fall!"
Next Movie: "Where There's A Whip"