Collectors

How not to buy a brick in a box off the back of a truck.
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DrMatt
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Collectors

Post by DrMatt »

A variety of bill-collectors and asset repossessers have been calling me, demanding to speak to "Samuel". I'm from a third-generation immigrant family, my parents' generation Americanized their name, and I know for a fact that there is no relative of mine named Samuel.

Apparently, my parents' generation was too successful in Americanizing our name, so I get confused with lots of other people, including other unrelated folks who have Americanized their names. At work I once was accidentally added to a mailing list of local Church-of-God-in-Christ ladies who were secretly oggling beefcake photos of men's college sports teams on-line together, and I also occasionally get drafts of authors' books that are intended for a university press editor with a similar-sounding last name.

But the phone dunners are annoying. I once picked up and spoke with one of them, explaining that I have no connection with whoever they're trying to reach. She tried to pry some personal information out of me, and then, as a trump card, demanded that I explain to her why her company has my telephone number. I replied: "My phone number is in the phone book, and as far as I'm concerned, you are dialing every number in the phone book and harrassing people, and that's what I'm telling the Do Not Call administration at FTC.GOV if they ask." She said she'd take my number out of their computer.

This morning they called me before 8 am. I let it roll into voice mail, and they did not leave a message.
Grayman wrote:If masturbation led to homosexuality you'd think by now I'd at least have better fashion sense.

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DrMatt
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Post by DrMatt »

Sturner and Klein calling me in violation of the FDNCA this evening. Probably justifying it the same way spammers do: "An unnamed third party said we have permission to bug you because you're interested in selling the giant mansion you don't have in order to buy the atomic bombs we don't have in order to improve your rating at E-Bay though you've never used it."
Grayman wrote:If masturbation led to homosexuality you'd think by now I'd at least have better fashion sense.

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Abdul Alhazred
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Post by Abdul Alhazred »

When stuff like that happens to me, I tell them I'm you. :twisted:
Image "If I turn in a sicko, will I get a reward?"

"Yes! A BIG REWARD!" ====> Click here to turn in a sicko
The arc of the moral universe bends towards chaos.
People who believe God or History are on their side provide the chaos.

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shemp
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Post by shemp »

So DrMatt, why do you hate America?
"It is not I who is mad! It is I who is crazy!" -- Ren Hoek

"what dicking deep shit i produce" -- pillory

Freedom of choice
Is what you got
Freedom from choice
Is what you want

People are shitting themselves to death
Crap so much they fail to take a breath
But even when their kids are starvin'
They thought Trump would throw them Charmin.

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specious_reasons
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Re: Collectors

Post by specious_reasons »

DrMatt wrote:She tried to pry some personal information out of me, and then, as a trump card, demanded that I explain to her why her company has my telephone number.
I had one collector (not looking for me) tell me that they had the authority to contact the police.

I remember being disappointed that I didn't think up a sufficiently witty response at the time. I think told him that I could dial the cops, too.
ta-
DAVE!!!