What good news to come home to

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Nyarlathotep
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What good news to come home to

Post by Nyarlathotep » Sun Apr 08, 2012 7:53 pm

Turns out that I am the long lost heir to estates in London and Lanarkshire. Isn't that awesome?
ACR Solicitors LLP
Suite 53
London Fruit Exchange
London
E1 6EX
England


Your contact was submitted to our information department from Norwegian Embassy London. It is very possible that you are related to our deceased client. We do have your name listed in his last Will. We also notify that we are legal custodians of his funds and estates in London and Lanarkshire - Glasgow.

We have no evidence of any other benefactor from your family, hence we have contacted you to help secure the claims. If this is not done in a few weeks, we shall relinquish the custodianship to British Government.

Details of funds and estates will be disclosed if you stand as beneficiary.

Thank you.


A. J. Biles LLB
(Partner)
ACR Solicitors LLP
England
Need to come up with a suitable reply...
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Rob Lister
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Re: What good news to come home to

Post by Rob Lister » Mon Apr 09, 2012 11:43 am

Pay them a visit
Image
Don't we have a londoner here?

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ed
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Re: What good news to come home to

Post by ed » Mon Apr 09, 2012 11:56 am

Isn't the idea of a London fruit sorta redundant?
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DrMatt
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Re: What good news to come home to

Post by DrMatt » Tue Apr 10, 2012 1:26 am

Just got an Urgent pre-recorded phone message to come to a sales pitch in order to lower the rates on my mortgage.

I haven't had a mortgage for a while.

Also got a repeat of a periodically repeating pre-recorded message claiming to be from my credit card company, saying that they could lower the rates on my credit card....to higher than my current rate. I never run a balance, anyhow.

And a good-old spam in my inbox from Softlayer.Com doing business as Zingari Promotions, and using an IP address registered as Fanbridge.com, 174.37.97.239. These things arrive with regularity, despite my attempts to get them to stop--which they have acknowledged.
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En folkefiende
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Re: What good news to come home to

Post by En folkefiende » Tue Apr 10, 2012 2:09 am

Yeah, I keep getting the credit card "you can reduce the interest rate on your credit card balance" calls. But they don't know which card, or what the balance is (um, zero?).
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Nyarlathotep
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Re: What good news to come home to

Post by Nyarlathotep » Tue Apr 10, 2012 2:20 am

Yeah, but have either of you ever been placed on the "List of Distinguished Women" or gotten multiple offers to have a FUCKBUDDY?
“Power bases are very dangerous because they attract people who are truly insane, people who seek power only for the sake of power.”

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DrMatt
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Re: What good news to come home to

Post by DrMatt » Tue Apr 10, 2012 2:28 am

Alas, that I haven't. Only mail-order Russian brides sending me tiny naked self-pics, every 6 months or so.
Grayman wrote:If masturbation led to homosexuality you'd think by now I'd at least have better fashion sense.

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Abdul Alhazred
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Re: What good news to come home to

Post by Abdul Alhazred » Tue Apr 10, 2012 9:23 am

DrMatt wrote:Alas, that I haven't. Only mail-order Russian brides sending me tiny naked self-pics, every 6 months or so.
You too? :o
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grayman
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Re: What good news to come home to

Post by grayman » Tue Apr 10, 2012 10:53 am

I get the "Hot women in [your town] want to meet you" accompanied by photos.

There's maybe twenty-five people in my "town"; none look like the women in these ads.
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Cogito, ergo Deus non est.

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Rob Lister
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Re: What good news to come home to

Post by Rob Lister » Tue Apr 10, 2012 10:56 am

grayman wrote:I get the "Hot women in [your town] want to meet you" accompanied by photos.

There's maybe twenty-five people in my "town"; none look like the women in these ads.
There, there. They're there. They just stay indoors. And they've aged a bit since the photo was taken. And they've put on a bit of weight. And there's an ant trail going over their left thigh.

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gnome
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Re: What good news to come home to

Post by gnome » Tue Apr 10, 2012 11:28 pm

Not to mention lately the proportions are looking a bit photoshopped on those ads. Approaching uncanny valley territory.
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grayman
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Re: What good news to come home to

Post by grayman » Mon Jan 27, 2014 9:23 am

Image
You will be electroplated. Resistance is potential divided by current! - Dr. Matt

Cogito, ergo Deus non est.

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Re: What good news to come home to

Post by asthmatic camel » Mon Jan 27, 2014 4:15 pm

Get De_Bunk to act as your legal representative. I think he's the closest thing to a Londoner we have.
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Cool Hand
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Re: What good news to come home to

Post by Cool Hand » Mon Jan 27, 2014 6:17 pm

grayman wrote:Image
Awesome.

CH
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Re: What good news to come home to

Post by Cloverlief » Tue Jan 28, 2014 3:28 am

[ytube][/ytube]
Chani

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Doctor X
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Re: What good news to come home to

Post by Doctor X » Tue Jan 28, 2014 10:04 am

[youtube]s3zjRcMnRNY[/youtube]

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