Just how big IS god's dick?

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Just how big IS god's dick?

Jesus Fucking Christ! It's HUGE!!! He can fuck an entire galaxy with it!
8
28%
It's not that big, but big enough to blot out the sun.
0
No votes
It's about the same size as Shemp's. That is to say, it can shade Mount Rushmore.
0
No votes
It's tiny. You need a microscope to see it.
1
3%
God's dick? She doesn't have one!
8
28%
God IS a dick!
3
10%
My dick is GOD!
5
17%
Ohmigod, I can't find my dick!
1
3%
Obligatory Planet X option for the children.
3
10%
 
Total votes: 29

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shemp
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Just how big IS god's dick?

Post by shemp »

In conjunction with my other thread, let's speculate: Just how big IS god's dick? Try to keep any discussion clean so Abdul doesn't get too horny.
"It is not I who is mad! It is I who is crazy!" -- Ren Hoek

"what dicking deep shit i produce" -- pillory

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Loon
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Post by Loon »

I went with the HUGE option. But I would imagine an omnipotent God could have a Dick of any size He felt appropriate. Huge for fucking a galaxy, normal human size for earthly trysts, microscopic for impregnating virgins.

I'd bet God's Dick would have lots of other cool attributes, too.

It would be prehensile for sure. It would probably have a built-in vibrator. I bet It would come in wide range of delicious flavors (in both possible senses of the phrase...).
I guess there he chose to err on the side of more votes. -[size=75]Grammatron[/size]
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MLynn
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Post by MLynn »

Being in the minority here (a dreaded Xian), I voted Planet X (think of the children!!). I don't think God needs a dick. He can make beings out of dirt - how cool is that. If He does have a dick it's probably bigger than yours and circumcised; or maybe His doesn't have to be circumcised. Hmmm, I have to think about this for awhile.
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Loon
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Post by Loon »

MLynn wrote:Being in the minority here (a dreaded Xian), I voted Planet X (think of the children!!). I don't think God needs a dick. He can make beings out of dirt - how cool is that. If He does have a dick it's probably bigger than yours and circumcised; or maybe His doesn't have to be circumcised. Hmmm, I have to think about this for awhile.
This is one advantage to being God. You can have a Dick or not as You please. Multiple Dicks, if You so desire. In fact, any number of Sexual Organ just for the sheer joy of it, for as long as You want. I'd bet a creation type God (not really the type in my own personal cosmology) would try out different things on Himself before putting them into the creations.
I guess there he chose to err on the side of more votes. -[size=75]Grammatron[/size]
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Abdul Alhazred
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Re: Just how big IS god's dick?

Post by Abdul Alhazred »

shemp wrote:In conjunction with my other thread, let's speculate: Just how big IS god's dick? Try to keep any discussion clean so Abdul doesn't get too horny.
I voted planet X, but properly the ansxwer is, however long it needs to be.

Could be less than a millimeter, could be several trillion light years

Whatever is required under the circumstances.

By the way, God is a female and except for necessary divine interventions, has no dick.
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shemp
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Post by shemp »

So god could have spotted dick?
"It is not I who is mad! It is I who is crazy!" -- Ren Hoek

"what dicking deep shit i produce" -- pillory

Freedom of choice
Is what you got
Freedom from choice
Is what you want

People are shitting themselves to death
Crap so much they fail to take a breath
But even when their kids are starvin'
They thought Trump would throw them Charmin.
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Generalisimo
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Post by Generalisimo »

If god really needs all these people worshipping him on a daily basis, and singing his praises, and the punishment for not doing so is eternal banishment in hell... I think it's plain to see... god is clearly compensating for having a really tiny penis.
[size=75][i]"It's rude to talk about religion, you never know who you're gonna offend."[/i][/size]
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Brian the Snail
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Post by Brian the Snail »

Hey Shemp,

I asked God this question during my daily bible-thumping session, and he told me to send you this answer.
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Doctor X
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Post by Doctor X »

I voted planet X, but properly the ansxwer is, however long it needs to be.
How many angels can dance on the head of it?

Anyways, this allows me to use one of the wierder quotes I have stumbl'd over in scholarship recently:
However, the god with the supersize penis was generally accordingly reckoned to be supersize as well.

--M.S. Smith, The Origins of Biblical Monotheism: Israel's Polytheistic Background and the Ugaritic Texts
. . . you really cannot argue with that. . . .

--J.D.
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Post by Yahweh »

I dont think God needs a private investigator...
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Generalisimo
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Post by Generalisimo »

I'm not sure why Shemp wanted to know the size of Yahweh's dick in the first place. It's inappropriate at best.
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wollery
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Post by wollery »

So if god does have one, does he play with it? And if he does will it make him go blind?
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Dagon (JREF's Psi Baba)
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Post by Dagon (JREF's Psi Baba) »

Makes you think about manna from heaven in a whole new light, doesn't it?
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Dagon (JREF's Psi Baba)
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Post by Dagon (JREF's Psi Baba) »

Maybe this'll help:

Image
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SkepticJ
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Post by SkepticJ »

The pressing question is not how big is god's love stick, but is he flexible enough to give himself BJs?
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Luke T.
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Post by Luke T. »

Why would he need one? It's not like he needs to rid himself of any impurities, and there isn't a Mrs. God.
[size=75]"it seems you don't believe how your enviroment of smells affects for a young ones.how many young girl are are in just involved in porn industry just because of lack of natural smells" - pillory (7/13/02)[/size]

I [size=167]♣[/size]69dodge
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Doctor X
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Post by Doctor X »

But there was . . . depending on the period . . . "his Asherah"

Oooo . . . let us see if the attachment works. . . .

--J.D.
Mob of the Mean: Free beanie, cattle-prod and Charley Fan Club!
"Doctor X is just treating you the way he treats everyone--as subhuman crap too dumb to breathe in after you breathe out." – Don
DocX: FTW. – sparks
"Doctor X wins again." – Pyrrho
"Never sorry to make a racist Fucktard cry." – His Humble MagNIfIcence
"It was the criticisms of Doc X, actually, that let me see more clearly how far the hypocrisy had gone." – clarsct
"I'd leave it up to Doctor X who has been a benevolent tyrant so far." – Grammatron
"Indeed you are a river to your people.
Shit. That's going to end up in your sig." – Pyrrho
"Try a twelve step program and accept Doctor X as your High Power." – asthmatic camel
"just like Doc X said." – gnome

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Doctor X
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Post by Doctor X »

Well Screw you hippy! on the attachments.

Take my word for an inscription concering "Mr. and Mrs. YHWH."

We now return to my regularly scheduled posting which involves a cabernet. . . .

--J.D.
Mob of the Mean: Free beanie, cattle-prod and Charley Fan Club!
"Doctor X is just treating you the way he treats everyone--as subhuman crap too dumb to breathe in after you breathe out." – Don
DocX: FTW. – sparks
"Doctor X wins again." – Pyrrho
"Never sorry to make a racist Fucktard cry." – His Humble MagNIfIcence
"It was the criticisms of Doc X, actually, that let me see more clearly how far the hypocrisy had gone." – clarsct
"I'd leave it up to Doctor X who has been a benevolent tyrant so far." – Grammatron
"Indeed you are a river to your people.
Shit. That's going to end up in your sig." – Pyrrho
"Try a twelve step program and accept Doctor X as your High Power." – asthmatic camel
"just like Doc X said." – gnome

ImageWS CHAMPIONS X4!!!! ImageNBA CHAMPIONS!! Stanley Cup!Image SB CHAMPIONS X6!!!!!! Image
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Zombified
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Post by Zombified »

Loon wrote:I went with the HUGE option. But I would imagine an omnipotent God could have a Dick of any size He felt appropriate. Huge for fucking a galaxy, normal human size for earthly trysts, microscopic for impregnating virgins.

I'd bet God's Dick would have lots of other cool attributes, too.

It would be prehensile for sure. It would probably have a built-in vibrator. I bet It would come in wide range of delicious flavors (in both possible senses of the phrase...).
Perhaps this is why fundies are so frightened by sex....