Countdown time. It's in the Bible, right?

Hot topics in delusion and rationalization.
User avatar
Abdul Alhazred
Posts: 86003
Joined: Mon Jun 07, 2004 1:33 pm
Title: Yes, that one.
Location: Not quite Chicago

Countdown time. It's in the Bible, right?

Post by Abdul Alhazred »

http://www.ebiblefellowship.com/index.html
Judgment Day - May 21, 2011
4 Months and 20 Days Remaining
Link to tract that explains the line of reasoning: Judgment Day! May 21, 2011
...

TIMING OF IMPORTANT EVENTS IN HISTORY

11,013 BC—Creation. God created the world and man (Adam and Eve).

4990 BC—The flood of Noah’s day. All perished in a worldwide flood. Only Noah, his wife, and his 3 sons and their wives survived in the ark (6023 years from creation).

7 BC—The year Jesus Christ was born (11,006 years from creation).

33 AD—The year Jesus Christ was crucified and the church age began (11,045 years from creation; 5023 calendar years from the flood).

1988 AD—This year ended the church age and began the great tribulation period of 23 years (13,000 years from creation).

1994 AD—On September 7th, the first 2300-day period of the great tribulation came to an end and the latter rain began, commencing God’s plan to save a great multitude of people outside of the churches (13,006 years from creation).

2011 AD—On May 21st, Judgment Day will begin and the rapture (the taking up into heaven of God’s elect people) will occur at the end of the 23-year great tribulation. On October 21st, the world will be destroyed by fire (7000 years from the flood; 13,023 years from creation).

...
I'll be checking in and updating this thread from time to time.
Image "If I turn in a sicko, will I get a reward?"

"Yes! A BIG REWARD!" ====> Click here to turn in a sicko
The arc of the moral universe bends towards chaos.
People who believe God or History are on their side provide the chaos.
User avatar
TheAtheist
Posts: 1646
Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2006 5:49 am

Re: Countdown time. It's in the Bible, right?

Post by TheAtheist »

Well, that's going to piss the Mayan calendar people right off.
User avatar
ed
Posts: 39074
Joined: Tue Jun 08, 2004 11:52 pm
Title: G_D

Re: Countdown time. It's in the Bible, right?

Post by ed »

My Birthday.

Assholes.
About that stereo
User avatar
TheAtheist
Posts: 1646
Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2006 5:49 am

Re: Countdown time. It's in the Bible, right?

Post by TheAtheist »

ed wrote:My Birthday.

Assholes.
Spend your birthday in NZ; the end will be timed for Middle Eastern time, so you'll get 12 hours or so of your borthday in before armageddon!
En folkefiende
Posts: 17511
Joined: Thu Aug 12, 2004 4:38 am
Location: Waiting for an electrician

Re: Countdown time. It's in the Bible, right?

Post by En folkefiende »

ed wrote:My Birthday.

Assholes.
Well, what DO you expect, eh? :p
Formerly jj, the enemy of the people, aka the bullies who rant and lie here.
User avatar
ed
Posts: 39074
Joined: Tue Jun 08, 2004 11:52 pm
Title: G_D

Re: Countdown time. It's in the Bible, right?

Post by ed »

TheAtheist wrote:
ed wrote:My Birthday.

Assholes.
Spend your birthday in NZ; the end will be timed for Middle Eastern time, so you'll get 12 hours or so of your borthday in before armageddon!
Plus I can mock all the dead terrorists. Thats a plan.
About that stereo
User avatar
Abdul Alhazred
Posts: 86003
Joined: Mon Jun 07, 2004 1:33 pm
Title: Yes, that one.
Location: Not quite Chicago

Re: Countdown time. It's in the Bible, right?

Post by Abdul Alhazred »

ed wrote:My Birthday.

Assholes Apostates.
Fixed. 8)
Image "If I turn in a sicko, will I get a reward?"

"Yes! A BIG REWARD!" ====> Click here to turn in a sicko
The arc of the moral universe bends towards chaos.
People who believe God or History are on their side provide the chaos.
User avatar
DrMatt
BANNED
Posts: 29811
Joined: Fri Jul 16, 2004 4:00 pm
Location: Location: Location!

Re: Countdown time. It's in the Bible, right?

Post by DrMatt »

I'm thinking it would be rather fitting if 144000 promoters of this sort of thing were to suddenly disappear unexpectedly on that day, and nobody noticed.
Grayman wrote:If masturbation led to homosexuality you'd think by now I'd at least have better fashion sense.
User avatar
grayman
Posts: 5775
Joined: Sun Feb 11, 2007 3:43 am
Location: A little further north.

Re: Countdown time. It's in the Bible, right?

Post by grayman »

DrMatt wrote:I'm thinking it would be rather fitting if 144000 promoters of this sort of thing were to suddenly disappear unexpectedly on that day, and nobody noticed.
Better yet, they are the only ones left behind.
You will be electroplated. Resistance is potential divided by current! - Dr. Matt

Cogito, ergo Deus non est.
User avatar
Llacheu
Posts: 2177
Joined: Wed Jan 31, 2007 9:51 pm

Re: Countdown time. It's in the Bible, right?

Post by Llacheu »

Unless the 144,000 included someone famous, all the rapture would amount to is an increased number of missing person reports.
In fact, 10,500 BC was the first time Orion's belt was ever visible in the night sky and the alignment is perfect.

If you deny this you simply are a holocaust denier. - Kilik

JasonAristotle wrote:
I SAY BLIND FAITH BELIEVERS
WHO REFUSE TO CRITICALLY THINK FOR THEMSELVES
DESERVE WHATEVER THE UFO ALIENS
HAVE IN STORE FOR THEM!!!
User avatar
sparks
Posts: 16841
Joined: Fri Oct 26, 2007 4:13 pm
Location: Friar McWallclocks Bar -- Where time stands still while you lean over!

Re: Countdown time. It's in the Bible, right?

Post by sparks »

grayman wrote:
DrMatt wrote:I'm thinking it would be rather fitting if 144000 promoters of this sort of thing were to suddenly disappear unexpectedly on that day, and nobody noticed.
Better yet, they are the only ones left behind.
FTW.
:)
You can lead them to knowledge, but you can't make them think.
User avatar
MLynn
Posts: 3773
Joined: Fri Jun 04, 2004 2:09 am
Location: USA

Re: Countdown time. It's in the Bible, right?

Post by MLynn »

Ignorance - Christians need some education......this is what Jesus said. Besides, if Sir Isaac Newton couldn't figure out the end of the world, no one else can either.

Matthew 24:35-36 (King James Version)

35 Heaven and earth shall pass away, but my words shall not pass away.
36 But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only.
Obey the zombie whippet or she will eat your brain
I for one welcome our zombie Christian overlord - Philip
User avatar
izittrue
Posts: 6873
Joined: Fri Aug 26, 2005 5:11 pm
Location: space nye-in

Re: Countdown time. It's in the Bible, right?

Post by izittrue »

So pretty much we don't want to go to heaven because it will pass away. So we need to figure out a way to turn into his words since they will live forever.
Will Rogers -
- Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip
User avatar
gnome
Posts: 24330
Joined: Tue Jun 29, 2004 12:40 am
Location: New Port Richey, FL

Re: Countdown time. It's in the Bible, right?

Post by gnome »

I'm betting that correctly translated "heaven" in this passage doesn't mean "Heaven" where you spend an eternity... doing whatever is supposedly paradise to enjoy an eternity of...

...but I bet it really just means the skies above earth literally.
"If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight! Sun Tzu said that, and I'd say he knows a little bit more about fighting than you do, pal, because he invented it, and then he perfected it so that no living man could best him in the ring of honor. Then, he used his fight money to buy two of every animal on earth, and then he herded them onto a boat, and then he beat the crap out of every single one. And from that day forward any time a bunch of animals are together in one place it's called a zoo! (Beat) Unless it's a farm!"
--Soldier, TF2
User avatar
MLynn
Posts: 3773
Joined: Fri Jun 04, 2004 2:09 am
Location: USA

Re: Countdown time. It's in the Bible, right?

Post by MLynn »

gnome wrote:I'm betting that correctly translated "heaven" in this passage doesn't mean "Heaven" where you spend an eternity... doing whatever is supposedly paradise to enjoy an eternity of...

...but I bet it really just means the skies above earth literally.
Yes, the "heavens" vs. Heaven IIRC.
Obey the zombie whippet or she will eat your brain
I for one welcome our zombie Christian overlord - Philip
User avatar
asthmatic camel
Posts: 19681
Joined: Sat Jun 05, 2004 1:53 pm
Title: Forum commie nun.
Location: Stirring the porridge with my spurtle.

Re: Countdown time. It's in the Bible, right?

Post by asthmatic camel »

I'd rather like to go to Heaven and play a badly-tuned harp, sitting on a cloud, for all eternity. Pissing off the cherubim, seraphim, Jeebus, Mary and Yahweh would amuse me.
Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.
User avatar
gnome
Posts: 24330
Joined: Tue Jun 29, 2004 12:40 am
Location: New Port Richey, FL

Re: Countdown time. It's in the Bible, right?

Post by gnome »

"And now... ONE MORE TIME!"
"If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight! Sun Tzu said that, and I'd say he knows a little bit more about fighting than you do, pal, because he invented it, and then he perfected it so that no living man could best him in the ring of honor. Then, he used his fight money to buy two of every animal on earth, and then he herded them onto a boat, and then he beat the crap out of every single one. And from that day forward any time a bunch of animals are together in one place it's called a zoo! (Beat) Unless it's a farm!"
--Soldier, TF2
User avatar
Abdul Alhazred
Posts: 86003
Joined: Mon Jun 07, 2004 1:33 pm
Title: Yes, that one.
Location: Not quite Chicago

Re: Countdown time. It's in the Bible, right?

Post by Abdul Alhazred »

Update: They are still doing the countdown. http://www.ebiblefellowship.com/index.html

It remains to be seen if they will start backtracking before the big day.
Image "If I turn in a sicko, will I get a reward?"

"Yes! A BIG REWARD!" ====> Click here to turn in a sicko
The arc of the moral universe bends towards chaos.
People who believe God or History are on their side provide the chaos.
User avatar
TheAtheist
Posts: 1646
Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2006 5:49 am

Re: Countdown time. It's in the Bible, right?

Post by TheAtheist »

Abdul Alhazred wrote:Update: They are still doing the countdown. http://www.ebiblefellowship.com/index.html

It remains to be seen if they will start backtracking before the big day.
No, but I'll bet they backtrack the day after.
User avatar
grayman
Posts: 5775
Joined: Sun Feb 11, 2007 3:43 am
Location: A little further north.

Re: Countdown time. It's in the Bible, right?

Post by grayman »

1994 AD—On September 7th, the first 2300-day period of the great tribulation came to an end and the latter rain began...
Rain or reign?
You will be electroplated. Resistance is potential divided by current! - Dr. Matt

Cogito, ergo Deus non est.