Signs of the impending apocalypse

Hot topics in delusion and rationalization.
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Witness
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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

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Gene enjoys a good steak?
You can lead them to knowledge, but you can't make them think.
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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

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Gene splicing.
Such potential!
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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

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Pat Robertson fell off a horse. Until he recovers there will only be Three Horsemen.
The flash of light you saw in the sky was not a UFO. Swamp gas from a weather balloon was trapped in a thermal pocket and reflected the light from Venus.
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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

Post by Bruce »

Russian voodoo wizard spins candy from the souls of the damned.
If that's not a clear sign of the impending apocalypse, I don't know what is. :shock:
Such potential!
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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

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That guy is definitely a programmer.
The flash of light you saw in the sky was not a UFO. Swamp gas from a weather balloon was trapped in a thermal pocket and reflected the light from Venus.
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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

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It's an anti-smoking campaign. He's exchanging the cotton candy for cigarettes.
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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

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They have nicotine in their cotton candy?

--J.D.
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Shit. That's going to end up in your sig." – Pyrrho
"Try a twelve step program and accept Doctor X as your High Power." – asthmatic camel
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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

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Those bastards will do anything to get teh childrenz hooked!
You can lead them to knowledge, but you can't make them think.
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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

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Image

--J.D.
Mob of the Mean: Free beanie, cattle-prod and Charley Fan Club!
"Doctor X is just treating you the way he treats everyone--as subhuman crap too dumb to breathe in after you breathe out." – Don
DocX: FTW. – sparks
"Doctor X wins again." – Pyrrho
"Never sorry to make a racist Fucktard cry." – His Humble MagNIfIcence
"It was the criticisms of Doc X, actually, that let me see more clearly how far the hypocrisy had gone." – clarsct
"I'd leave it up to Doctor X who has been a benevolent tyrant so far." – Grammatron
"Indeed you are a river to your people.
Shit. That's going to end up in your sig." – Pyrrho
"Try a twelve step program and accept Doctor X as your High Power." – asthmatic camel
"just like Doc X said." – gnome

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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

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Biblical prophecy claims the world will end on Sept. 23, Christian numerologists claim

The real story here is not nutters being nutters but why anybody thought that this was "news".
(FoxNews.com) - Christian numerologists claim that the world will end on Sept. 23, 2017 as they believe a planet will collide with Earth.

According to Christian numerologist David Meade, verses in Luke 21: 25 to 26 is the sign that recent events, such as the recent solar eclipse and Hurricane Harvey, are signs of the apocalypse.

The verses read:

“25: There will be signs in the sun, moon and stars. On the earth, nations will be in anguish and perplexity at the roaring and tossing of the sea. People will faint from terror, apprehensive of what is coming on the world, for the heavenly bodies will be shaken.'

"'26: Men’s hearts failing them for fear, and for looking after those things which are coming on the earth: for the powers of heaven shall be shaken.'

Sept. 23 is a date that was pinpointed using codes from the Bible, as well as a "date marker" in the pyramids of Giza in Egypt.

Meade has built his theory, which is viewed with a widely skeptical lens, on the so-called Planet X, which is also known as Nibiru, which he believes will pass Earth on Sept. 23, causing volcanic eruptions, tsunamis and earthquakes, according to British newspaper The Sun.
A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool.
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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

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The Sun (yep) wrote:Famous Italian exorcist claims recent hurricanes and rise of ‘devil-backed Kim Jong-un’ are signs of IMMINENT APOCALYPSE

Don Antonio Mattatelli made the alarming claims in response to a string of natural disasters in his home country of Italy.

He said: "All natural disasters, such as hurricanes and earthquakes, demonstrate that the end of the world is coming.
[…]
Don Antonio is one of the most famous exorcists in Italy and regularly makes public statements warning of the devil’s work.

He believes that Satan is present on the internet and that demonic possession can take place online.
[…]
As well as speaking out about natural disasters, Don Antonio commented on the current geopolitical situation.

He said: "Behind Kim Jong-un is surely Satan, in North Korea all are forbidden religion and there is only the idolatry of the leader who has replaced God.

"He could be exorcised remotely with prayer, as Pius XII did by the Vatican with Hitler."
Image
https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/4474653/h ... -exorcist/

Didn't work so well that last exorcism… :roll:
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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

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[youtube][/youtube]
[youtube][/youtube]

--J.D.
Mob of the Mean: Free beanie, cattle-prod and Charley Fan Club!
"Doctor X is just treating you the way he treats everyone--as subhuman crap too dumb to breathe in after you breathe out." – Don
DocX: FTW. – sparks
"Doctor X wins again." – Pyrrho
"Never sorry to make a racist Fucktard cry." – His Humble MagNIfIcence
"It was the criticisms of Doc X, actually, that let me see more clearly how far the hypocrisy had gone." – clarsct
"I'd leave it up to Doctor X who has been a benevolent tyrant so far." – Grammatron
"Indeed you are a river to your people.
Shit. That's going to end up in your sig." – Pyrrho
"Try a twelve step program and accept Doctor X as your High Power." – asthmatic camel
"just like Doc X said." – gnome

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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

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Image
Most Pet Caretakers fit this description:

* They are atheist or another non-Christian religion.
* They love animals enough to register with us even though they do not believe there will be a Rapture (or are agnostic about it).
* They are volunteers, so they are not signing up simply to make a quick buck. In fact, they’ve agreed to care for the pets they rescue as their own, including being financially responsible for them.
http://aftertherapturepetcare.com/
Like the "another". :roll:
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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

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Jeebus but these fuckers are certainly wrapped up in themselves, aren't they?
You can lead them to knowledge, but you can't make them think.
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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

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:wink:
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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

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All Abrahamic religions are apocalyptic so no surprise.
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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

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Welllllllllll . . . I never liked the term "Abrahamic religions" since it implies a direct kinship I do not accept. That is being persnickety, I confess, but there were so many "non-Abrahamic" influences and none of them were monolithic entities. For example, it is impossible to speak about "Judaism" as if it was one thing, certainly one that exists today.

All that aside, the Judaisms as preserved in the biblical texts were not apocalyptic by and large.

That being written, there certainly was various apocalyptic moments as we would understand it, and there is Huge Books Full of the extra-biblical literature on the subject: its rise, influence, and all of that. A fun question to consider is how apocalyptic Judaism was in the Roman period particularly amongst "da peoples."

The big question for Christian studies--of many "big questions"--is how apocalyptic the Historical Junior was. The Synoptic Gospels are, by and large, but they are late, and I have pontificated sufficiently on how dangerous it is to assume they have any actual relationship with the Historical Junior. Sure, the Historical Junior became utterly irrelevant for the various movements--see Paul.

Take a common quote that some scholars will grant historicity since it would explain him getting hung up on a tree: the vow to destroy the Temple and rebuild it. What does that mean? Some have gone so far as to suggest he went to the Temple, tried a miracle or actual attack, and the Romans squished it. The only problem with that, as I have bloviated previously, is the Romans clearly did NOT stamp out the movement.

Is that "apocalyptic?" Modern conceptions tied into Revelation then expansions that include things like "the Rapture" which are not in Revelation imagine an "Earth-Ending" event which . . . is . . . also not in apocalypses. Just like Creation Myths often involve re-ordering rather than actual creation, apocalypses tend to involve a reordering of the world-order or at least local voting district: "roll up a scroll."

"The Event" for Christianity, in a way, with all of the traditional scholars still masturbating over "kerygma" notwithstanding, was the Squishing of Jerusalem which sort of demonstrated what the Romans do when you "become difficult." Which brings us to:

Islam. Must confess my research into Islam is quite lax in comparison. I cannot list Arabic amongst my list of languages of which I am functionally illiterate Image I cannot personally pontificate as to whether or not Islam began apocalyptic or apocalysm crept into it or its various branches over time.

Nevertheless, one of the attractions to religions is "This World That Sucks Will End and We Who Suck Will be Awesome and Fuck Chad." The idea of an apocalypse has become a major part of most Christianities I know of. Judaism? Not really.

The Danish and Icelanders are still waiting for Ragnarøkkr. . . .

--J.D.
Mob of the Mean: Free beanie, cattle-prod and Charley Fan Club!
"Doctor X is just treating you the way he treats everyone--as subhuman crap too dumb to breathe in after you breathe out." – Don
DocX: FTW. – sparks
"Doctor X wins again." – Pyrrho
"Never sorry to make a racist Fucktard cry." – His Humble MagNIfIcence
"It was the criticisms of Doc X, actually, that let me see more clearly how far the hypocrisy had gone." – clarsct
"I'd leave it up to Doctor X who has been a benevolent tyrant so far." – Grammatron
"Indeed you are a river to your people.
Shit. That's going to end up in your sig." – Pyrrho
"Try a twelve step program and accept Doctor X as your High Power." – asthmatic camel
"just like Doc X said." – gnome

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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

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A lot of apocalypse-mongers out there:

A Wave of Prophecies That the World Is Ending Saturday May Not Be Correct, It Turns Out
Hurricanes, earthquakes, sinkholes, rising seas, the threat of nuclear annihilation: It doesn’t take a doomsday prophet to know we’re living in unstable times. It does, however, take a doomsday prophet to predict the exact date of our obliteration. And sure enough, several fringe Christian prophets are now claiming the apocalypse is coming on Saturday.

. . .



YouTube is crowded with videos making similar claims: The date will bring “Israel’s new beginning,” the “firestorm of the Golden Empire,” and the most significant astronomical convergence “since Adam and Eve.” Another “missionary evangelist” breaks out a whiteboard to sketch out a complex timeline involving Abraham, the death of Jesus, Israel’s Six-Day War, and the Balfour Declaration—all leading up to Saturday. Some of the videos have millions of views.

These prophets’ predictions are based on a creative reading of the 12th chapter in the New Testament book of Revelation. To make a trippy story short, the passage goes something like this: A pregnant woman gives birth to a son and flees to the wilderness for 1,260 days. War breaks out in heaven between angels and a dragon; the dragon retreats to Earth and chases the woman. She suddenly develops eaglelike wings and flees to the wilderness again, and the dragon ends the chapter angry and standing on the beach. Yadda yadda yadda, the apocalypse starts on Sept. 23, 2017.
Tomorrow! :o
A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool.
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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

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Dibs on your stereos.

--J.D.

P.S. This was all suppose to happen a good ~1,80000 [Stop it!--Ed.] years ago.
Mob of the Mean: Free beanie, cattle-prod and Charley Fan Club!
"Doctor X is just treating you the way he treats everyone--as subhuman crap too dumb to breathe in after you breathe out." – Don
DocX: FTW. – sparks
"Doctor X wins again." – Pyrrho
"Never sorry to make a racist Fucktard cry." – His Humble MagNIfIcence
"It was the criticisms of Doc X, actually, that let me see more clearly how far the hypocrisy had gone." – clarsct
"I'd leave it up to Doctor X who has been a benevolent tyrant so far." – Grammatron
"Indeed you are a river to your people.
Shit. That's going to end up in your sig." – Pyrrho
"Try a twelve step program and accept Doctor X as your High Power." – asthmatic camel
"just like Doc X said." – gnome

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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

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The Jehovah's Witlesses are still going strong! I'm sure the forthcoming excuses will work as well as they have before.
A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool.
William Shakespeare (probably Socrates originally)
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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

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Funny thing is early millenarists predicted the end in 1873, which did not happen, so some concluded that Junior returned but we just did not notice!

There has been a long history of retrofitting failed prophecies.

--J.D.
Mob of the Mean: Free beanie, cattle-prod and Charley Fan Club!
"Doctor X is just treating you the way he treats everyone--as subhuman crap too dumb to breathe in after you breathe out." – Don
DocX: FTW. – sparks
"Doctor X wins again." – Pyrrho
"Never sorry to make a racist Fucktard cry." – His Humble MagNIfIcence
"It was the criticisms of Doc X, actually, that let me see more clearly how far the hypocrisy had gone." – clarsct
"I'd leave it up to Doctor X who has been a benevolent tyrant so far." – Grammatron
"Indeed you are a river to your people.
Shit. That's going to end up in your sig." – Pyrrho
"Try a twelve step program and accept Doctor X as your High Power." – asthmatic camel
"just like Doc X said." – gnome

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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

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1914 was actually a fairly apocalyptic year. A big war broke out that year.
A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool.
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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

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Anaxagoras wrote:1914 was actually a fairly apocalyptic year. A big war broke out that year.
EXPLAIN THAT?!!1!!!

. . . or . . .

WERE YOU THERE?!11!!

I have not bothered to see how many people have tired to work The Lone Fat Boy in to either 666 or 616. Trump is pretty easy.

--J.D.
Mob of the Mean: Free beanie, cattle-prod and Charley Fan Club!
"Doctor X is just treating you the way he treats everyone--as subhuman crap too dumb to breathe in after you breathe out." – Don
DocX: FTW. – sparks
"Doctor X wins again." – Pyrrho
"Never sorry to make a racist Fucktard cry." – His Humble MagNIfIcence
"It was the criticisms of Doc X, actually, that let me see more clearly how far the hypocrisy had gone." – clarsct
"I'd leave it up to Doctor X who has been a benevolent tyrant so far." – Grammatron
"Indeed you are a river to your people.
Shit. That's going to end up in your sig." – Pyrrho
"Try a twelve step program and accept Doctor X as your High Power." – asthmatic camel
"just like Doc X said." – gnome

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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

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Abdul Alhazred wrote:Well He did so return. Invisibly you see. :notsure:
Image

I'm disappoint!!! :x
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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

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Today's the big day!

Anyone notice anything apocalypticeyish happening yet?
A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool.
William Shakespeare (probably Socrates originally)
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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

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I switched on the telly and it turned on RIGHT at the beginning of the scene where Nigel introduces the Marshall amps that go to eleven!11!!!ty!111!

--J.D.
Mob of the Mean: Free beanie, cattle-prod and Charley Fan Club!
"Doctor X is just treating you the way he treats everyone--as subhuman crap too dumb to breathe in after you breathe out." – Don
DocX: FTW. – sparks
"Doctor X wins again." – Pyrrho
"Never sorry to make a racist Fucktard cry." – His Humble MagNIfIcence
"It was the criticisms of Doc X, actually, that let me see more clearly how far the hypocrisy had gone." – clarsct
"I'd leave it up to Doctor X who has been a benevolent tyrant so far." – Grammatron
"Indeed you are a river to your people.
Shit. That's going to end up in your sig." – Pyrrho
"Try a twelve step program and accept Doctor X as your High Power." – asthmatic camel
"just like Doc X said." – gnome

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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

Post by ed »

Doctor X wrote: The Danish and Icelanders are still waiting for Ragnarøkkr. . . .

--J.D.
Their wait is over!!


Image
This space for let
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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

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Anaxagoras wrote:Today's the big day!

Anyone notice anything apocalypticeyish happening yet?
I do have a bit of a headache. That could be a sign.
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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

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Unfortunately, I predict:

Image

--J.D.
Mob of the Mean: Free beanie, cattle-prod and Charley Fan Club!
"Doctor X is just treating you the way he treats everyone--as subhuman crap too dumb to breathe in after you breathe out." – Don
DocX: FTW. – sparks
"Doctor X wins again." – Pyrrho
"Never sorry to make a racist Fucktard cry." – His Humble MagNIfIcence
"It was the criticisms of Doc X, actually, that let me see more clearly how far the hypocrisy had gone." – clarsct
"I'd leave it up to Doctor X who has been a benevolent tyrant so far." – Grammatron
"Indeed you are a river to your people.
Shit. That's going to end up in your sig." – Pyrrho
"Try a twelve step program and accept Doctor X as your High Power." – asthmatic camel
"just like Doc X said." – gnome

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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

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Image
Besides analyzing the dsytopian shift in popular culture, Joustra and Wilkinson also suggest how Christians can live faithfully and with integrity in such a cultural context.
:mrgreen:
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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

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Let's see what's in the news today....

Millennials ruining America because.......meh, flavor of the week.
Puerto Rico wiped off the map and Americans could give a crap because they're not even a state. Meh.
Madman launches nuclear missiles over Japan - again? Meh.
Flint Michigan still doesn't have clean water. Meh.
Trump calls NFL players disrespectful for kneeling during the national anthem......

.....WHAT!?! Bunch of entertainers disrespecting the President of the United States of America?!? And their handlers are joining them in support?? That's Apocalypse material right there. We can't just have a national pastime interrupted like that with political mumbo jumbo. We have to make sure this is the number one newsworthy topic for discussion for at least a week, or until something more important comes along, like maybe Katy Perry shaving her head or Justin Beiber getting another DUI or something.
Such potential!
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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

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Yep. Plumb amazing ain't it? Next thing you know, they'll be putting fluoride in ... dare I say it ... childrens ice cream!
You can lead them to knowledge, but you can't make them think.
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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

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Image

--J.D.
Mob of the Mean: Free beanie, cattle-prod and Charley Fan Club!
"Doctor X is just treating you the way he treats everyone--as subhuman crap too dumb to breathe in after you breathe out." – Don
DocX: FTW. – sparks
"Doctor X wins again." – Pyrrho
"Never sorry to make a racist Fucktard cry." – His Humble MagNIfIcence
"It was the criticisms of Doc X, actually, that let me see more clearly how far the hypocrisy had gone." – clarsct
"I'd leave it up to Doctor X who has been a benevolent tyrant so far." – Grammatron
"Indeed you are a river to your people.
Shit. That's going to end up in your sig." – Pyrrho
"Try a twelve step program and accept Doctor X as your High Power." – asthmatic camel
"just like Doc X said." – gnome

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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

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"I do not avoid women Mandrake. But, I do deny them my ... essence."
You can lead them to knowledge, but you can't make them think.
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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

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Is the Apocalypse near? Fish rain down in Mexico!
Sep, 28 2017 Author: Thema Newsroom

Scientists says phenomenon caused by water sprouts sucking fish

Officials in northeast Mexico say a light rain was accompanied by small fish that fell from the sky.
The civil defence agency for the state of Tamaulipas said in a brief statement that rain Tuesday in the coastal city of Tampico included fish. Photos posted on the agency’s Facebook page show four small fish in a bag and another on a sidewalk.
Four fish? Like the Four Horsemen! Image
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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

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Water sprouts?
You can lead them to knowledge, but you can't make them think.
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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

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sparks wrote:Water sprouts?
:mrgreen:

Eat your veggies!
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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

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Alliance of World Scientists wrote:We invite all scientists to endorse this global environmental article and engage with a new alliance concerned about global climate and environmental trends

World Scientists’ Warning to Humanity: A Second Notice

If you are a scientist from any scientific discipline (e.g. ecology, medicine, economics, etc.), we invite you to endorse our Viewpoint article in the journal Bioscience entitled “World Scientists’ Warning to Humanity: a second notice” by Ripple et al. (2017). In doing so, you will be included in the full list of scientists who have endorsed this article and 15,000+ scientists from 184 countries who signed the article before the publication deadline on Oct. 23, 2017. Before endorsing, we ask that you view our 1,000-word article by clicking “Read the Article” tab below (the text can be read in 6 minutes). When you click “Endorse the Article” and add your name, you will be indicating that you generally agree with our article, helping get this message to world leaders. You may also read the article in Spanish, Portugese, or French.
Can't say I've been overwhelmed by their article, which you can read here: http://scientistswarning.forestry.oregonstate.edu/.