The most efficient method of wiping out humanity?

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clarsct
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Re: The most efficient method of wiping out humanity?

Post by clarsct »

Infectious, self replicating nanobots. Including a learning algorithm.

Be sure you infect Madagascar first, or you will fail.


Other than that, a fungus that is right at home inside the human body.
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Re: The most efficient method of wiping out humanity?

Post by Rob Lister »

I'm siding with airborn Ebola vectors followed up by salting crop fields with nuclear waste and then finally nanobots to mop up the straggler renegades.

We need to nail this down folks. Bruce has to bone up on bio-chem processes and I have glassware to source.
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Re: The most efficient method of wiping out humanity?

Post by DrMatt »

The cheapest way of wiping out humanity is to just wait.
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Re: The most efficient method of wiping out humanity?

Post by -FX- »

You want it cheap or you want it fast?
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Re: The most efficient method of wiping out humanity?

Post by Bearguin »

Rob Lister wrote:I'm siding with airborn Ebola vectors followed up by salting crop fields with nuclear waste and then finally nanobots to mop up the straggler renegades.

We need to nail this down folks. Bruce has to bone up on bio-chem processes and I have glassware to source.
So, no to leaving animals alive then?
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Re: The most efficient method of wiping out humanity?

Post by hammegk »

Rob Lister wrote:
hammegk wrote:
Doctor X wrote:Make ebola airborne.

--J.D.
Marburg reston already was. Just dumb luck the reston strain only killed monkeys.

Weaponized anthrax is my choice.
Poor choice. Kills mammals generally.
Got to make niches for roaches to evolve into.
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Re: The most efficient method of wiping out humanity?

Post by Nyarlathotep »

Engineer an airborne virus that doesn't kill or even incapacitate it's host, but merely renders the host sterile. This would enable it to be easily spread (since every host survives long enough to infect many others) and would kill off humans in a generation. No proprty damage and properly engineered it would be unlikely to jump species and kill off any animals.
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Re: The most efficient method of wiping out humanity?

Post by Rob Lister »

Nyarlathotep wrote:Engineer an airborne virus that doesn't kill or even incapacitate it's host, but merely renders the host sterile. This would enable it to be easily spread (since every host survives long enough to infect many others) and would kill off humans in a generation. No proprty damage and properly engineered it would be unlikely to jump species and kill off any animals.
OMG! You're plagiarizing FX.

Or perhaps he is dead and you're channeling him!
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Re: The most efficient method of wiping out humanity?

Post by Nyarlathotep »

Rob Lister wrote:
Nyarlathotep wrote:Engineer an airborne virus that doesn't kill or even incapacitate it's host, but merely renders the host sterile. This would enable it to be easily spread (since every host survives long enough to infect many others) and would kill off humans in a generation. No proprty damage and properly engineered it would be unlikely to jump species and kill off any animals.
OMG! You're plagiarizing FX.

Or perhaps he is dead and you're channeling him!
Actually, I only skimmed the replies before me and missed his. I think my variation would be more effective, since it would require no voluntary action on anyone's part and would likely do its damage before anyone noticed. If I was plagaraizing anyone, I was plagiarizing a theory I heard for the sterility in the movie Children of Men

I was going to plagiarize Frank Herbert's The White Plague and mention a fatal virus designed to affect only one gender but capable of being carried by both. But I realized that would have the same limitations as nearly any other fatall viral outbreak in being containable and, in fact, self containing if it kills the host quickly enough.
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Re: The most efficient method of wiping out humanity?

Post by -FX- »

Nyarlathotep wrote: I was going to plagiarize Frank Herbert's The White Plague and mention a fatal virus designed to affect only one gender but capable of being carried by both. But I realized that would have the same limitations as nearly any other fatall viral outbreak in being containable and, in fact, self containing if it kills the host quickly enough.
I'm starting to really like you.

That Herbert novel was fucking outrageous. They should make a movie based on it.
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Re: The most efficient method of wiping out humanity?

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Rob Lister wrote:I'm siding with airborn Ebola vectors followed up by salting crop fields with nuclear waste and then finally nanobots to mop up the straggler renegades.

We need to nail this down folks. Bruce has to bone up on bio-chem processes and I have glassware to source.
Just a team status update and pep talk.

We had some missteps getting that ebola vector airborne but everyone stuck with it and pushed through those roadblocks. Kudos especially to Bruce's group. Our West African test bed is yielding some excellent experimental data and as soon as we firm up the delivery methods [Anax, where is your team with this?], we'll be ready for world-wide deployment.

Oh, and I wanted to personally recognize Naryl's contribution: your idea of setting up street venders to sell tainted bleach to the stricken test communities as a means of partially funding this endeavor was ingenious. You can expect a little something extra in your next check.

[youtube]BhaikI_5DoI[/youtube]

One more thing: I don't want to end this talk on a down note but for those of you that are trying to expense the use of prostitutes and justifying it as vector analysis, I'm denying those line items. I'm not pointing anyone out specifically, Witness, but let's keep those expense reports legit.
Last edited by Rob Lister on Thu Apr 03, 2014 1:15 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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ed
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Re: The most efficient method of wiping out humanity?

Post by ed »

Doctor X wrote:Make ebola airborne.

--J.D.
http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/worl ... a/7214213/

:shock:
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Re: The most efficient method of wiping out humanity?

Post by ed »

Rob Lister wrote:
Rob Lister wrote:I'm siding with airborn Ebola vectors followed up by salting crop fields with nuclear waste and then finally nanobots to mop up the straggler renegades.

We need to nail this down folks. Bruce has to bone up on bio-chem processes and I have glassware to source.
Just a team status update and pep talk.

We had some missteps getting that ebola vector airborne but everyone stuck with it and pushed through those roadblocks. Kudos especially to Bruce's group. Our West African test bed is yielding some excellent experimental data and as soon as we firm up the delivery methods [Anax, where is your team with this?], we'll be ready for world-wide deployment.

Oh, and I wanted to personally recognize Naryl's contribution: your idea of setting up street venders to sell tainted bleach to the stricken test communities as a means of partially funding this endeavor was ingenious. You can expect a little something extra in your next check.

[youtube]BhaikI_5DoI[/youtube]



One more thing: I don't want to end this talk on a down note but for those of you that are trying to expense the use of prostitutes and justifying it as vector analysis, I'm denying those line items. I'm not pointing anyone out specifically, Witness, but let's keep those expense reports legit.
Note from the field team.
if this report is true "Authorities suspect it was transmitted to humans in Guinea through contaminated bat meat" we need to rethink the vector introduction strategy (VIS). Seems to me that we need to get some euro trash chef to popularize bat meat on a tv show.
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Re: The most efficient method of wiping out humanity?

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Yellowstone is grumbling, nothing else will be needed if it supervolcanos.
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Re: The most efficient method of wiping out humanity?

Post by Witness »

Rob Lister wrote:One more thing: I don't want to end this talk on a down note but for those of you that are trying to expense the use of prostitutes and justifying it as vector analysis, I'm denying those line items. I'm not pointing anyone out specifically, Witness, but let's keep those expense reports legit.
But, Boss, as per your memoranda 425.b rel. 3 and 709.c rel. 1, and our research team's Field Guide III (rev. 4), p. 451, note d, boosting spread efficiency was, and remains, a triple-star priority!
I must say I am disappointed, having worked hard without consideration for my personal safety, to see my ground-breaking field research tarnished by petty accounting quibbles. But such backstabbing, from people sitting safely at their office desks – I won't name anybody, suffice to look at this thread – can't really surprise me: they have lost contact with reality for quite some time now. Advocating batshitmeat, crazy!
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Re: The most efficient method of wiping out humanity?

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Nyarlathotep wrote:Engineer an airborne virus that doesn't kill or even incapacitate it's host, but merely renders the host sterile. This would enable it to be easily spread (since every host survives long enough to infect many others) and would kill off humans in a generation. No proprty damage and properly engineered it would be unlikely to jump species and kill off any animals.
Should be possible if said virus possesses inhibitor proteins on the coat which bind to the progesterone receptors (a viral contraceptive, in short.) It's more plausible than ''chemtrails.'' :P
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Re: The most efficient method of wiping out humanity?

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Then it would kill you as well.

--J.D.
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Re: The most efficient method of wiping out humanity?

Post by Miles »

Doctor X wrote:Then it would kill you as well.

--J.D.

In which case, Flounder shall be my first test subject.

(Yes, everyone would be sterile, but it should be fairly species-specific -- reproductive systems are quite varied among different animals, hence it should not pose a danger to other species or threaten the environment like a nuclear warhead would.)
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Rob Lister
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Re: The most efficient method of wiping out humanity?

Post by Rob Lister »

Okay guys.

Looks like the proof of concept has run its course.
UNITED NATIONS – Health ministers from 11 West African countries began a two-day Emergency Ministerial meeting in Accra, Ghana, Wednesday amid concern the outbreak of the Ebola virus that began in Ghana could spread across their region as an uncontrolled pandemic.

In a statement distributed at the United Nations, the World Health Organization, WHO, classified the current Ebola outbreak as the worst ever.

The outbreak traces back to cases appearing in rural Guinea in March, which spread across Guinea, Liberia and Sierra Leone. So far, a total of 750 cases and 455 deaths have been reported in the affected countries, according to WHO.
http://www.wnd.com/2014/07/u-n-warns-eb ... erP5bIA.99

Lets dial it back a notch.
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Re: The most efficient method of wiping out humanity?

Post by asthmatic camel »

Miles wrote:
Doctor X wrote:Then it would kill you as well.

--J.D.

In which case, Flounder shall be my first test subject.

(Yes, everyone would be sterile, but it should be fairly species-specific -- reproductive systems are quite varied among different animals, hence it should not pose a danger to other species or threaten the environment like a nuclear warhead would.)
I don't think you'd need to sterilise Flounder, the odds against him ever figuring out how to reproduce are immense.
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Re: The most efficient method of wiping out humanity?

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The most effective method of wiping out populations is following what Japan is doing to it people. Replacing normal sex with fetishism for anime characters a substitution that is greatly reducing the population of Japan. The Japanese have an aging population reaching advanced senility and a younger population dating anime characters. It is the same country that chose a large red dot to represent their country which the American bombers used as target practice before the actual bombing of Japan's two major cities.
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Re: The most efficient method of wiping out humanity?

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asthmatic camel wrote:I don't think you'd need to sterilise Flounder, the odds against him ever figuring out how to reproduce are immense.
Indeed.

--J.D.
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"Doctor X wins again." – Pyrrho
"Never sorry to make a racist Fucktard cry." – His Humble MagNIfIcence
"It was the criticisms of Doc X, actually, that let me see more clearly how far the hypocrisy had gone." – clarsct
"I'd leave it up to Doctor X who has been a benevolent tyrant so far." – Grammatron
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Shit. That's going to end up in your sig." – Pyrrho
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Re: The most efficient method of wiping out humanity?

Post by Harikrish »

asthmatic camel wrote:
Miles wrote:
Doctor X wrote:Then it would kill you as well.

--J.D.

In which case, Flounder shall be my first test subject.

(Yes, everyone would be sterile, but it should be fairly species-specific -- reproductive systems are quite varied among different animals, hence it should not pose a danger to other species or threaten the environment like a nuclear warhead would.)
I don't think you'd need to sterilise Flounder, the odds against him ever figuring out how to reproduce are immense.
The two picture pimps discussing his virility.
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Re: The most efficient method of wiping out humanity?

Post by Rob Lister »

Abdul Alhazred wrote:WND, Lister?

Really?
I'm not sure the source matters given the otherwise satirical context.
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Re: The most efficient method of wiping out humanity?

Post by Harikrish »

Follow Americas example.

Total population about 300 million.

Total guns sold to Americans over 320 million guns.

Number of Americans killed by guns over 30,000 annually.

Guns are not the problem. Getting Americans to use them more frequently is!!!
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Re: The most efficient method of wiping out humanity?

Post by Marla Singer »

Covid, huh? Very clever Tyler. Tell me it wasn't you. I haven't been fucked like this since grade school.
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Re: The most efficient method of wiping out humanity?

Post by robinson »

Shut the fuck up
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