## Just saw The Punisher

Drama queens must check their tiaras at the door.
Bottle or the Gun
Posts: 1264
Joined: Fri Jun 11, 2004 12:17 pm
Location: Maryland

### Just saw The Punisher

Well, I just saw The Punisher on DVD. The should have called it 'The Punishment', because that's what it felt like when I watched it. Travolta slept his way through the entire thing, and the hero played by Tom Kane looked and acted so much like Christopher Lambert I expected him to say "There Shall Be Only One" in every scene. The director couldn't make up his mind wetter to do the film like a 70's Bond movie campy fight scenes or 90's Van Damme action flick, and made a mash of it trying to cram in both styles.

In one of the scenes the Travolta character (named Saint, so you know he's evil) shows a briefcase full of cash to a bunch of killers and says "If you take the money you are in this until the end". I imagine that's what his agent said also.

Instead of dropping the $15 on the DVD I should have used the 10 & 5 to wipe my rear after going to the bathroom, because then at least I'd feel clean. The studios are really destroying the future life of the comic movie franchises. Last edited by Bottle or the Gun on Fri Sep 10, 2004 11:42 am, edited 1 time in total. Tell the story about how God lost his breakfast cereal. Oh wait, that was the Trix rabbit. I get them confused because they are both made up - American Dad Grammatron Posts: 34839 Joined: Tue Jun 08, 2004 1:21 am Location: Los Angeles, CA I think it wasn't a good comic book to begin with. It would really only work as an R movie with lost of violence and no remorse that would not bode well with most audiences thus they injected crap. Just because something is a good comic book does not mean it's a good movie, people should learn that. Green arrow? Honestly... Evolver Posts: 12833 Joined: Wed Jun 09, 2004 7:59 pm Location: The Idiocracy ### Re: Just saw The Punisher Bottle or the Gun wrote:Travolta slept his way through the entire thing. Wait. You thought Travolta could act? 2016 & 2018 NFL "Sorry To Make You Cry" Challenge Champion "Rational arguments don't usually work on religious people. Otherwise, there would be no religious people." - Dr. Gregory House Bottle or the Gun Posts: 1264 Joined: Fri Jun 11, 2004 12:17 pm Location: Maryland Green Arrow. Licensing madness. I've heard that when you license a big name that you have to pick up a few of the B-names for a fee also, because no one will license them on their own unless it's bundled in. No one's going to buy up Green Arrow on it's own for 10 million, but they might if it's balanced out with a bigger name attached to it. I really doubt the anti-government character it is today would go over well. Yes, the Punisher should have been just non-stop action. He's famous, wanted, presumed dead and he goes up and talks to some cops on the court steps during a press conference. What the? And why does the character always have to be a spy or something? In the books he was just a Marine, which should be good enough. In the film version he was a top anti-terrorist squad member. Please, pay me half what the director got and I can make a crappy movie also. Tell the story about how God lost his breakfast cereal. Oh wait, that was the Trix rabbit. I get them confused because they are both made up - American Dad Hexxenhammer Posts: 3863 Joined: Wed Jun 02, 2004 10:56 pm Location: Minnesota How did the bad guys know where he lived? They just started showing up at his house. If they knew where he lived, why not just send a couple dudes with guns along with the Russian and they could shoot him while the Russian was tying him in a pretzel. And I hate it when the only reason you know the bad guy is evil is because they say so. Yeah, they shot his entire family, but where was Travolta's overarching evil scheme? Daredevil had the same thing. Kingpin was bad because they said so, he never did anything (except try to kill Daredevil). "I'll have the roast duck with the mango salsa." Grammatron Posts: 34839 Joined: Tue Jun 08, 2004 1:21 am Location: Los Angeles, CA Hexxenhammer wrote:How did the bad guys know where he lived? They just started showing up at his house. If they knew where he lived, why not just send a couple dudes with guns along with the Russian and they could shoot him while the Russian was tying him in a pretzel. And I hate it when the only reason you know the bad guy is evil is because they say so. Yeah, they shot his entire family, but where was Travolta's overarching evil scheme? Daredevil had the same thing. Kingpin was bad because they said so, he never did anything (except try to kill Daredevil). Well in all fairness to that crap of a movie (THE GUY'S SUPER POWER IS THAT HE IS BLIND? W T F!!!) Kingpin did kill his father. Bottle or the Gun Posts: 1264 Joined: Fri Jun 11, 2004 12:17 pm Location: Maryland Hexxenhammer wrote:How did the bad guys know where he lived? I noticed that also but was too tired to comment. It goes with the concept that he had a chance to go covert and wage a war but he advertised he was back. They also spent 20 minutes showing him modifying his car then wrecked it in 3 minutes. Another rip was the guitar playing assassin, straight out of El Mariachi/Desperado. Tell the story about how God lost his breakfast cereal. Oh wait, that was the Trix rabbit. I get them confused because they are both made up - American Dad Grammatron Posts: 34839 Joined: Tue Jun 08, 2004 1:21 am Location: Los Angeles, CA ### Re: Just saw The Punisher scarlet_35 wrote: Evolver wrote: Bottle or the Gun wrote:Travolta slept his way through the entire thing. Wait. You thought Travolta could act? Oh come on Travolta was awesome in Pulp Fiction those were the days, what has he done worth while since then though My personal favorites would be: Get Shorty (1995) Michael (1996) Face/Off (1997) Primary Colors (1998) The rest is nothing special. Bottle or the Gun Posts: 1264 Joined: Fri Jun 11, 2004 12:17 pm Location: Maryland ### Re: Just saw The Punisher Grammatron wrote: scarlet_35 wrote: Evolver wrote: Bottle or the Gun wrote:Travolta slept his way through the entire thing. Wait. You thought Travolta could act? :o Oh come on Travolta was awesome in Pulp Fiction :D those were the days, what has he done worth while since then though :( My personal favorites would be: Get Shorty (1995) Michael (1996) Face/Off (1997) Primary Colors (1998) The rest is nothing special. He's in a movie about hero fire fighters now. Hmmmm...timing. Let's see if it's any good, or just a metaphor about the ashes of his career. Tell the story about how God lost his breakfast cereal. Oh wait, that was the Trix rabbit. I get them confused because they are both made up - American Dad Grammatron Posts: 34839 Joined: Tue Jun 08, 2004 1:21 am Location: Los Angeles, CA ### Re: Just saw The Punisher Bottle or the Gun wrote: He's in a movie about hero fire fighters now. Hmmmm...timing. Let's see if it's any good, or just a metaphor about the ashes of his career. There's also a sequel to "Get Shorty" in '05. I think his career is doing pretty good considering. Bottle or the Gun Posts: 1264 Joined: Fri Jun 11, 2004 12:17 pm Location: Maryland ### Re: Just saw The Punisher Grammatron wrote: Bottle or the Gun wrote: He's in a movie about hero fire fighters now. Hmmmm...timing. Let's see if it's any good, or just a metaphor about the ashes of his career. There's also a sequel to "Get Shorty" in '05. I think his career is doing pretty good considering. Yeah. I don't think he sucks. Just being flippant. I was one of the guys rooting for him when he was doing b movies just to keep out there in the public mind. I kept hoping each film he did would put him back on top but he always just fell short of it thanks to director and scripts. Still, he made enough money to buy a plane and Kelly Preston. Tell the story about how God lost his breakfast cereal. Oh wait, that was the Trix rabbit. I get them confused because they are both made up - American Dad Grammatron Posts: 34839 Joined: Tue Jun 08, 2004 1:21 am Location: Los Angeles, CA ### Re: Just saw The Punisher Bottle or the Gun wrote: Grammatron wrote: Bottle or the Gun wrote: He's in a movie about hero fire fighters now. Hmmmm...timing. Let's see if it's any good, or just a metaphor about the ashes of his career. There's also a sequel to "Get Shorty" in '05. I think his career is doing pretty good considering. Yeah. I don't think he sucks. Just being flippant. I was one of the guys rooting for him when he was doing b movies just to keep out there in the public mind. I kept hoping each film he did would put him back on top but he always just fell short of it thanks to director and scripts. Still, he made enough money to buy a plane and Kelly Preston. He has more than one plane AND and airport. Now that's money. Grammatron Posts: 34839 Joined: Tue Jun 08, 2004 1:21 am Location: Los Angeles, CA This is a picture of John Travolta's home in Ocala, FL. Notice the Gulfstream and 707 parked in the garages. Bottle or the Gun Posts: 1264 Joined: Fri Jun 11, 2004 12:17 pm Location: Maryland Grammatron wrote:This is a picture of John Travolta's home in Ocala, FL. Notice the Gulfstream and 707 parked in the garages. And Kelly Preston You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post. Last edited by Bottle or the Gun on Tue Sep 14, 2004 11:54 pm, edited 1 time in total. Tell the story about how God lost his breakfast cereal. Oh wait, that was the Trix rabbit. I get them confused because they are both made up - American Dad Grammatron Posts: 34839 Joined: Tue Jun 08, 2004 1:21 am Location: Los Angeles, CA So which cost more do you think? Bottle or the Gun Posts: 1264 Joined: Fri Jun 11, 2004 12:17 pm Location: Maryland I think upkeep on Preston is astronomical. But she stuck by him when he was a has-been, that doesn't happen often in Hollywood, so you gotta give her that. Hey, what's the difference between Kelly Preston and one of Travolta's jets? You can ride a jet for$100.
Tell the story about how God lost his breakfast cereal. Oh wait, that was the Trix rabbit. I get them confused because they are both made up - American Dad

Doctor X
Posts: 71938
Joined: Fri Jun 04, 2004 8:09 pm
Title: Collective Messiah
I am embarrassed to state I have seen the film.

A friend who enjoys "bad" films rented it. Mind you I told him not to rent Resident Evil because it, you know, sucks.

This was worse.

This was one of the worse films I have ever seen--and that includes early Jet Li Hong Kong "Avenge the Master" films.

After everything the Christopher Lamber-Wanna-Be--who also inherited his Immortal Powers--easy to walk on shattered femurs--has done to him, Travolta NEVER thinks that . . . gee . . . I am being set up!!

He is a Boss-Money-Laundrying-King-Pin . . . a position that NEVER generates rivals . . . who does not have body guards for his wife?

Of course there is the "Thanks for the Dinner but COULD YOU HELP ME WITH THIS RUSSIAN MANIAC!!"

Actually, I liked the Russian maniac and rooted for him.

I also like the "they would have talked" when one of "they" had NOTHING done to him.

This is what happens when you rent henchmen based on their wardrobe.

Regarding the quote from TBotG above, these "high paid henchmen" at $50,000 a piece convenient stay together in the same small room. Of course, if they acted like henchmen . . . they would have just killed the idiot. Before this film, we saw Thick as Thieves. I have no idea why Rebecca DeMornay is in it . . . but compared to this piece of crap this film was a David Lean-Kurosawa-Speilberg creation staring O'Toole, Mifune, Ford, and various favorite actresses wandering around naked for your viewing pleasure! IN FACT, Dolph "I Must Break You!" Lungren's version was BETTER!! At least it was entertaining. As my friend put is, "for a Punisher, he does not do a lot of punishing." Feh! --J.D. Mob of the Mean: Free beanie, cattle-prod and Charley Fan Club! "Doctor X is just treating you the way he treats everyone--as subhuman crap too dumb to breathe in after you breathe out." – Don DocX: FTW. – sparks "Doctor X wins again." – Pyrrho "Never sorry to make a racist Fucktard cry." – His Humble MagNIfIcence "It was the criticisms of Doc X, actually, that let me see more clearly how far the hypocrisy had gone." – clarsct "I'd leave it up to Doctor X who has been a benevolent tyrant so far." – Grammatron "Indeed you are a river to your people. Shit. That's going to end up in your sig." – Pyrrho "Try a twelve step program and accept Doctor X as your High Power." – asthmatic camel "just like Doc X said." – gnome WS CHAMPIONS X4!!!! NBA CHAMPIONS!! Stanley Cup! SB CHAMPIONS X6!!!!!! Bottle or the Gun Posts: 1264 Joined: Fri Jun 11, 2004 12:17 pm Location: Maryland Doctor X wrote:I am embarrassed to state I have seen the film. A friend who enjoys "bad" films rented it. Mind you I told him not to rent Resident Evil because it, you know, sucks. This was worse. This was one of the worse films I have ever seen--and that includes early Jet Li Hong Kong "Avenge the Master" films. After everything the Christopher Lamber-Wanna-Be--who also inherited his Immortal Powers--easy to walk on shattered femurs--has done to him, Travolta NEVER thinks that . . . gee . . . I am being set up!! He is a Boss-Money-Laundrying-King-Pin . . . a position that NEVER generates rivals . . . who does not have body guards for his wife? Of course there is the "Thanks for the Dinner but COULD YOU HELP ME WITH THIS RUSSIAN MANIAC!!" Actually, I liked the Russian maniac and rooted for him. I also like the "they would have talked" when one of "they" had NOTHING done to him. This is what happens when you rent henchmen based on their wardrobe. Regarding the quote from TBotG above, these "high paid henchmen" at$50,000 a piece convenient stay together in the same small room. Of course, if they acted like henchmen . . . they would have just killed the idiot.

Before this film, we saw Thick as Thieves. I have no idea why Rebecca DeMornay is in it . . . but compared to this piece of crap this film was a David Lean-Kurosawa-Speilberg creation staring O'Toole, Mifune, Ford, and various favorite actresses wandering around naked for your viewing pleasure!

IN FACT, Dolph "I Must Break You!" Lungren's version was BETTER!! At least it was entertaining. As my friend put is, "for a Punisher, he does not do a lot of punishing."

Feh!

--J.D.
Thick As Theives...the Baldwin flick? If it's the thief that likes jazz, it has a killer background score. I spent time in the old p2p days downloading all the music that was listed on the credits and other sources but never released on a soundtrack.
Tell the story about how God lost his breakfast cereal. Oh wait, that was the Trix rabbit. I get them confused because they are both made up - American Dad

Doctor X
Posts: 71938
Joined: Fri Jun 04, 2004 8:09 pm
Title: Collective Messiah
THAT is it!

If you remove the whole story with Rebecca it is a REALLY good film. It seems the writers/producers just wanted a woman "somewhere" in the film but never thought how to make it work.

Indeed, great music.

--J.D.
Mob of the Mean: Free beanie, cattle-prod and Charley Fan Club!
"Doctor X is just treating you the way he treats everyone--as subhuman crap too dumb to breathe in after you breathe out." – Don
DocX: FTW. – sparks
"Doctor X wins again." – Pyrrho
"Never sorry to make a racist Fucktard cry." – His Humble MagNIfIcence
"It was the criticisms of Doc X, actually, that let me see more clearly how far the hypocrisy had gone." – clarsct
"I'd leave it up to Doctor X who has been a benevolent tyrant so far." – Grammatron
"Indeed you are a river to your people.
Shit. That's going to end up in your sig." – Pyrrho
"Try a twelve step program and accept Doctor X as your High Power." – asthmatic camel
"just like Doc X said." – gnome

WS CHAMPIONS X4!!!! NBA CHAMPIONS!! Stanley Cup! SB CHAMPIONS X6!!!!!!

Bottle or the Gun
Posts: 1264
Joined: Fri Jun 11, 2004 12:17 pm
Location: Maryland
Doctor X wrote:THAT is it!

If you remove the whole story with Rebecca it is a REALLY good film. It seems the writers/producers just wanted a woman "somewhere" in the film but never thought how to make it work.

Indeed, great music.

--J.D.
I don't even remember DeMornay. Just Baldwin wacking guys, and that cold-blooded mafia guy having the trouble-making gangsta shot. He was the guy with the girlfriend doing coke at the resort's breakfast table.
Tell the story about how God lost his breakfast cereal. Oh wait, that was the Trix rabbit. I get them confused because they are both made up - American Dad