Films that looked good but ended up being horrible

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Grammatron
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Films that looked good but ended up being horrible

Post by Grammatron »

This is kind of the opposite of my thread but I thought about it after scarlet's post.

28 days later I thought would be a great zombie flick, turns out it wasn't a good movie and barely a zombie flick.

Also, Hero was slow as hell and poor in content.

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Doctor X
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Post by Doctor X »

Well, despite the fact Hero proved far too sophisticated for some, my "all time favorite" was both Raiders of the Lost Ark sequels . . .

. . . and anything done by Lucas. . . .

--J.D.
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Grammatron
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Post by Grammatron »

Doctor X wrote:Well, despite the fact Hero proved far too sophisticated for some, my "all time favorite" was both Raiders of the Lost Ark sequels . . .

. . . and anything done by Lucas. . . .

--J.D.
*GASP*

OMFG You did not just insult Indie like that. There's a whip waiting for you somewhere.

Then again you like Hero of crap, so I'm not too surprised.

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Post by Nyarlathotep »

I thought House of 1000 Corpses looked pretty damned good, but whenI saw it I quickly realized that it was one of the stupidest movies I had ever seen in a long time.

When I saw the previews for Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace I was almost drooling (and believe it or not, I am not a huge Star Wars fanboy), but the movie quickly kicked my expectations into the gutter with a weak plot and acting that made it seem like everybody in the film could fall asleep at any minute "I will not take my people on a course ofa ction that could lead us to war, senator....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"

The Village I thought it looked good, but it nearly bored me to death.

I could make this list all day.

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Hexxenhammer
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Post by Hexxenhammer »

Grammatron wrote:
Doctor X wrote:Well, despite the fact Hero proved far too sophisticated for some, my "all time favorite" was both Raiders of the Lost Ark sequels . . .

. . . and anything done by Lucas. . . .

--J.D.
*GASP*

OMFG You did not just insult Indie like that. There's a whip waiting for you somewhere.

Then again you like Hero of crap, so I'm not too surprised.
Ok, Grammy is wrong about both movies in the OP, but you're on crack if you don't like "Last Crusade." I'm willing to forgive disliking Temple of Doom. But it does have lots of great stuff still. Short Round is great. "No time for love, Dr. Jones." What really puts it over the edge into "bad movie" territory is the future Mrs. Spielberg. She never stops screaming.
"I'll have the roast duck with the mango salsa."

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Quester_X
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Post by Quester_X »

The Village.

Plus what Hex just said, the Indy movies rock.
You'll all be mine, in the end.

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Doctor X
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Post by Doctor X »

So, you peasants could not think of better reasons why:

1. His name was Indiana?
2. He has a scar on his chin?
3. He wears a hat?
4. He uses a whip?

No?

Nothing creative comes to mind?

You must all like Bruce Almighty. . . .

. . . or was that too obscure.

--J.D.
Mob of the Mean: Free beanie, cattle-prod and Charley Fan Club!
"Doctor X is just treating you the way he treats everyone--as subhuman crap too dumb to breathe in after you breathe out." – Don
DocX: FTW. – sparks
"Doctor X wins again." – Pyrrho
"Never sorry to make a racist Fucktard cry." – His Humble MagNIfIcence
"It was the criticisms of Doc X, actually, that let me see more clearly how far the hypocrisy had gone." – clarsct
"I'd leave it up to Doctor X who has been a benevolent tyrant so far." – Grammatron
"Indeed you are a river to your people.
Shit. That's going to end up in your sig." – Pyrrho
"Try a twelve step program and accept Doctor X as your High Power." – asthmatic camel
"just like Doc X said." – gnome

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slimshady2357
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Post by slimshady2357 »

I just watched Temple of Doom last week and it sucked, big time. Ok, it was alright for just any movie, but compared to the other two Indiana Jones movies, it sucked. so I would say it definitely falls into the 'looks good, I'm excited...... ack, it sucked!' category.

The Day After Tomorrow got rave reviews from a friend of a friend and it sucked HUGE. I've never seen such wooden acting and the cheese factor mounted by the second "Hurry, run from the cold air that is freezing everything in seconds.... HURRY!!!! it's RIGHT BEHIND US!!!" :roll:

The Incredible Hulk was terrible and yet it could have been so good :( Basically any movie created from a comic book, though I'm sure there is an exception here or there.

Adam
If there is a sin against life, its consists perhaps not so much in despairing of life as in hoping for another life in eluding the implacable grandeur of this life. -- Camus

lofgeornost
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Post by lofgeornost »

I can't think of any off the top of my head, but I'm really excited about that Man on Fire DVD that's just been released. Looks like a poignant, powerful film - hopefully with a couple hours worth of deleted scenes. I'm usually not so ready to part with twenty bills, but this one looks worth it.

Anyone seen it :?:


:D

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Hexxenhammer
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Post by Hexxenhammer »

Doctor X wrote:So, you peasants could not think of better reasons why:

1. His name was Indiana?
2. He has a scar on his chin?
3. He wears a hat?
4. He uses a whip?

No?

Nothing creative comes to mind?
OK Doc, you do better. Let's see it.
"I'll have the roast duck with the mango salsa."

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Cloverlief
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Post by Cloverlief »

Doctor X wrote: So, you peasants could not think of better reasons why:

1. His name was Indiana?
The dogs name was Indiana, and he liked it.
Doctor X wrote:2. He has a scar on his chin?
He got hit in the face with a whip while attempting to save some rare antiquities from some shady characters, duh.
Doctor X wrote:3. He wears a hat?
1930's, everyone wore a hat in those days. Don't you ever watch old movies?
Doctor X wrote:4. He uses a whip?
Because it was cool! And ever so useful when he came to canyons and such. And when the heroine got uppity and he needed to bring her back to him. Hello!
Doctor X wrote:No?

Nothing creative comes to mind?

You must all like Bruce Almighty. . . .

. . . or was that too obscure.

--J.D.
I liked Bruce Almighty. Cute movie.

Sometimes a good leave your brain at the door movie is fun. I don't care if it is consistent with the real world, as long as it is consistent with its own world, and the Indy movies seem to stick to that course.
Chani

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Cloverlief
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Post by Cloverlief »

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban - big disappointment. Lousy movie, bad direction, poor character developement, major changes from the scenery of the first two movies which made it jarringly out of place, instead of developing the plot line or the characters, the director just made everyone and everything incredibly filthy and nasty.

It has been a dissapointing summer all around. Resident Evil - the Apocolypse was the high point of the summer.

Troy looked awesome, and sadly fell flat. I can't even say where it failed, it just didn't 'feel' right. It was unfortunate because Brad Pitt never looked better.
Chani

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Quester_X
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Post by Quester_X »

Doctor X wrote:
3. He wears a hat?


1930's, everyone wore a hat in those days. Don't you ever watch old movies?
Also, he got the hat as a token of respect from the leader of the party whose artifact he stole. It's not indicated in the movie, but the character referred to as "Fedora" who gives him the hat was originally going to be Indy's mentor, the one they mentioned in the first movie (Marian's father).
You'll all be mine, in the end.

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Doctor X
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Post by Doctor X »

OK Doc, you do better. Let's see it.
1. The whip--use to work in a circus when child.

2. Scar--from a snake.

3. Hat--was his father's . . . whoever he was. . . .

4. "Indiana"--stage name.

So . . . how did he go from the circus to graduate school?

--J.D.
Mob of the Mean: Free beanie, cattle-prod and Charley Fan Club!
"Doctor X is just treating you the way he treats everyone--as subhuman crap too dumb to breathe in after you breathe out." – Don
DocX: FTW. – sparks
"Doctor X wins again." – Pyrrho
"Never sorry to make a racist Fucktard cry." – His Humble MagNIfIcence
"It was the criticisms of Doc X, actually, that let me see more clearly how far the hypocrisy had gone." – clarsct
"I'd leave it up to Doctor X who has been a benevolent tyrant so far." – Grammatron
"Indeed you are a river to your people.
Shit. That's going to end up in your sig." – Pyrrho
"Try a twelve step program and accept Doctor X as your High Power." – asthmatic camel
"just like Doc X said." – gnome

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specious_reasons
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Post by specious_reasons »

Here's an old one that scarred my memory, "Doom Generation" I walked into it knowing very little about it, other than it was supposed to be an edgy new movie.

It was basically a gay teen sex comedy that was poorly made, never very funny and featured a lot of hetero sex - go figure.
ta-
DAVE!!!

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Post by Stimpson J. Cat »

specious_reasons wrote:Here's an old one that scarred my memory, "Doom Generation" I walked into it knowing very little about it, other than it was supposed to be an edgy new movie.

It was basically a gay teen sex comedy that was poorly made, never very funny and featured a lot of hetero sex - go figure.
That is the worst movie I have ever seen in my life. My best friend and I were at the video store trying to find something to watch. He said we should rent it. I said it looked like crap, but he said "No, it has this hot chick in it", so we rented it. :cry:

To this day, we both insist that the other one was the one who wanted to rent it. Of course, he is lying. :evil:

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Hexxenhammer
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Post by Hexxenhammer »

Doctor X wrote:
OK Doc, you do better. Let's see it.
1. The whip--use to work in a circus when child.

2. Scar--from a snake.

3. Hat--was his father's . . . whoever he was. . . .

4. "Indiana"--stage name.

So . . . how did he go from the circus to graduate school?

--J.D.
A prop skull used in his lion tamer act is recognized by Herr Doktor Professor Schieberman of the Lichtenstein School of Archaeology as the Golden Skull of Burudi-rundi. The ensuing adventure involving a femme fatale, chinese pirates, a pteradactyl, an ancient Burundi-rundi king's tomb, the Red Baron, and Theodore Roosevelt leads Indy to realize that Archaeology is way more exciting than the circus.
"I'll have the roast duck with the mango salsa."

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Doctor X
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Post by Doctor X »

Very good. . . .

. . . one small problem. . . .

It is not the plot of a Kurosawa or an anime. Lucas will reject it.

--J.D.
Mob of the Mean: Free beanie, cattle-prod and Charley Fan Club!
"Doctor X is just treating you the way he treats everyone--as subhuman crap too dumb to breathe in after you breathe out." – Don
DocX: FTW. – sparks
"Doctor X wins again." – Pyrrho
"Never sorry to make a racist Fucktard cry." – His Humble MagNIfIcence
"It was the criticisms of Doc X, actually, that let me see more clearly how far the hypocrisy had gone." – clarsct
"I'd leave it up to Doctor X who has been a benevolent tyrant so far." – Grammatron
"Indeed you are a river to your people.
Shit. That's going to end up in your sig." – Pyrrho
"Try a twelve step program and accept Doctor X as your High Power." – asthmatic camel
"just like Doc X said." – gnome

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Doctor X
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Post by Doctor X »

What the fuck . . . might as well poke a couple of peasants . . . what is the matter? The Ren-faieyre close and you are still waiting for the Extra-Special Delux Edition of Return of the King?

Ready?

The Princess Bride

This is perhaps the biggest disappointment in my film history. I have not been more disappointed since I saw the waste that was Buckaroo Banzai.

Bad acting, bad slapstick, throw in out-of-work comedians, bad acting, more bad slapstick, we-are-so-clever-and-referential-let-us-hit-them-over-the-head-with-it-AGAIN, bad acting. . . .

Worse, geeks quote the "I-am-Indigo-Montoya. . . ." blatherings MORE than "the Knights Who Saaaaayyyyy . . . NI!" I longed for Eli Wallach to blow away the pansy and remark, "If you're gonna shoot, shoot! Don't talk!"

Utter crap.

Oh, I see I have upset the geeks! Heavens to Betsy . . . one of them might put a hex on me or try to make Mandy's speech relevant to this thread. I hope you do not mind if I make some coffee while I wait for it to be funny.

--J.D.
Mob of the Mean: Free beanie, cattle-prod and Charley Fan Club!
"Doctor X is just treating you the way he treats everyone--as subhuman crap too dumb to breathe in after you breathe out." – Don
DocX: FTW. – sparks
"Doctor X wins again." – Pyrrho
"Never sorry to make a racist Fucktard cry." – His Humble MagNIfIcence
"It was the criticisms of Doc X, actually, that let me see more clearly how far the hypocrisy had gone." – clarsct
"I'd leave it up to Doctor X who has been a benevolent tyrant so far." – Grammatron
"Indeed you are a river to your people.
Shit. That's going to end up in your sig." – Pyrrho
"Try a twelve step program and accept Doctor X as your High Power." – asthmatic camel
"just like Doc X said." – gnome

ImageWS CHAMPIONS X4!!!! ImageNBA CHAMPIONS!! Stanley Cup!Image SB CHAMPIONS X6!!!!!! Image

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Grammatron
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Post by Grammatron »

Doctor X wrote:What the fuck . . . might as well poke a couple of peasants . . . what is the matter? The Ren-faieyre close and you are still waiting for the Extra-Special Delux Edition of Return of the King?

Ready?

The Princess Bride

This is perhaps the biggest disappointment in my film history. I have not been more disappointed since I saw the waste that was Buckaroo Banzai.

Bad acting, bad slapstick, throw in out-of-work comedians, bad acting, more bad slapstick, we-are-so-clever-and-referential-let-us-hit-them-over-the-head-with-it-AGAIN, bad acting. . . .

Worse, geeks quote the "I-am-Indigo-Montoya. . . ." blatherings MORE than "the Knights Who Saaaaayyyyy . . . NI!" I longed for Eli Wallach to blow away the pansy and remark, "If you're gonna shoot, shoot! Don't talk!"

Utter crap.

Oh, I see I have upset the geeks! Heavens to Betsy . . . one of them might put a hex on me or try to make Mandy's speech relevant to this thread. I hope you do not mind if I make some coffee while I wait for it to be funny.

--J.D.
Keept it up, just say you hate Back to the Future and Spinal Tap and everyone will know you have no taste in movies.

Hero, honestly man...