Films that, looking back, were even worse than we thought

Drama queens must check their tiaras at the door.
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Quester_X
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Post by Quester_X »

"Soul Vengence" isn't worse?! Personally, I haven't seen many of those, just read about them on the internet.

My two worst movies are "Super Mario Brothers" (completely mangles the games and is stupid to boot) and "Event Horizon".
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Brown
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Post by Brown »

"Braveheart." Liked it when I first saw it. But now I can't understand what I liked about it. Part of the problem is that Mel Gibson took extensive "liberty" with history. Movies like "Apollo 13" and "JFK" took so much liberty with history that they are almost unwatchable.

When I first saw the movie "Rollercoaster," I thought it was pretty good. But seeing it several later, I marveled at how bad it was.

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Doctor X
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Post by Doctor X »

There have to be some rules . . . realizing that Santa Claus Conquers Mars is a "bad movie" is nothing to write about . . . though if you only realize that after seeing it a few times, it is time to double the medication.

--J.D.
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Quester_X
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Post by Quester_X »

Santa Claus Conquers Mars is a "bad movie"
http://www.badmovies.org/movies/santamars/index.html
And no, I never get tired of linking to this site.
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DrMatt
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Post by DrMatt »

Mark wrote:
Same with Alice's Restaurant (Although I LOVE the song).
I'd watch it just to see Jodi Foster. She was a cute kid. She's a gorgeous adult. I have no idea whether I'd like her as a person.
Grayman wrote:If masturbation led to homosexuality you'd think by now I'd at least have better fashion sense.

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Doctor X
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Post by Doctor X »

. . . sort of research which is crucial before you try to assassinate a President. . . .

--J.D.
Mob of the Mean: Free beanie, cattle-prod and Charley Fan Club!
"Doctor X is just treating you the way he treats everyone--as subhuman crap too dumb to breathe in after you breathe out." – Don
DocX: FTW. – sparks
"Doctor X wins again." – Pyrrho
"Never sorry to make a racist Fucktard cry." – His Humble MagNIfIcence
"It was the criticisms of Doc X, actually, that let me see more clearly how far the hypocrisy had gone." – clarsct
"I'd leave it up to Doctor X who has been a benevolent tyrant so far." – Grammatron
"Indeed you are a river to your people.
Shit. That's going to end up in your sig." – Pyrrho
"Try a twelve step program and accept Doctor X as your High Power." – asthmatic camel
"just like Doc X said." – gnome

ImageWS CHAMPIONS X4!!!! ImageNBA CHAMPIONS!! Stanley Cup!Image SB CHAMPIONS X6!!!!!! Image

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Bottle or the Gun
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Viewer guides in cahoots with networks for ad revenue?

Post by Bottle or the Gun »

You ever notice how when a movie is first shown on cable or tv it will be rated '4 stars' and a year later when it plays again it will be '2 stars' etc etc?
Tell the story about how God lost his breakfast cereal. Oh wait, that was the Trix rabbit. I get them confused because they are both made up - American Dad

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Sundog
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Post by Sundog »

Sorry, folks. None of the aforementioned movies feature a drunken Rick Wakeman urinating into a fireplace with a metal schlong and then grinning and burping.

Progressive rock died in that instant...

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Grammatron
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Post by Grammatron »

Sundog wrote:Sorry, folks. None of the aforementioned movies feature a drunken Rick Wakeman urinating into a fireplace with a metal schlong and then grinning and burping.

Progressive rock died in that instant...
And there was much rejoicing and celebration.

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Quester_X
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Post by Quester_X »

Sorry, folks. None of the aforementioned movies feature a drunken Rick Wakeman urinating into a fireplace with a metal schlong and then grinning and burping.
Well... there is one about a man who strangles people to death with his schlong. Close?

http://www.badmovies.org/movies/soulven ... index.html
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Kilted_Canuck
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Post by Kilted_Canuck »

Ok people, I grew up in age of Power Rangers: The Movie and Super Mario, Mortal Kombat, and that other power rangers movie.

All were good the first time around...when I was 10...oh the VHS tapes i could get rid of now though... :oops:

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Post by Grammatron »

Kilted_Canuck wrote:Ok people, I grew up in age of Power Rangers: The Movie and Super Mario, Mortal Kombat, and that other power rangers movie.

All were good the first time around...when I was 10...oh the VHS tapes i could get rid of now though... :oops:
10 more years and they are a goldmine on ebay.

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Post by whitefork »

The Patriot is way worse than Braveheart. It sucks very long and hard.
If it's good enough for Nelson, it's quite good enough for me.

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Hexxenhammer
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Post by Hexxenhammer »

Doctor Mabuse wrote:The Patriot is way worse than Braveheart. It sucks very long and hard.
I think Mel arrives just to late to avert a tragedy about 14 times. It really got old. The only cool part is when he takes the 2 little kids to save what's his name and the first thing he says is, "Start with the officers." That was actually cool. But that was the only part that was cool.
"I'll have the roast duck with the mango salsa."

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Cloverlief
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Post by Cloverlief »

Hexxenhammer wrote:
Quester_X wrote:
Armageddon. Get's worse everytime I happen to catch a glimpse of it on TV.

Worst. Movie. EVER.
Oh really? Not that I'm defending it, but I think you can do much worse:
http://www.badmovies.org/movies/supermario/index.html
http://www.badmovies.org/movies/manos/index.html
http://www.badmovies.org/movies/sextette/index.html
http://www.badmovies.org/movies/slimebowl/index.html
http://www.badmovies.org/movies/soulven ... index.html
http://www.badmovies.org/movies/fleshgo ... index.html
http://www.badmovies.org/movies/chocula/index.html

Those are some "choice" picks, from here:
http://www.badmovies.org/movies/
I HATE the Super Mario Brothers movie.
Sorry, I've seen three of those movies and none are as bad as Armageddon.

When that astronaut, with a straight face no less, said that Steve Buscemi had "Space Madness" I nearly walked out. That and the countdown numbers sounding like they were exploding. I could go on and on.






(Super Mario, Manos Hands of Fate, and Sorority Babes at the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama. I know you were wondering.)
Oh come now, Armageddon was definitely a leave your brain at the door movie. I mean, really, an asteroid the size of Texas is about to hit the earth, and preceding it, bits and chunks of meteorites, which most likely would have burned up in atmosphere, are suddenly taking out every landmark known to mankind! Woohoo. And that was in the previews! Oh, and only this one screw up and his screw up crew could save earth? Um, yay, right. Take it for what it was, and it was a fun movie, but definitely a leave your brain at the door movie.

And you would rate Manos the Hand of Fate better than Armageddon? Are you mad, man? Not even MST3K could make that misbegotten son of a really bad movie good enough to view! I shudder to think about that movie! The boredom, the bad acting, the unscary bad guys!! Oh the humanity of it all!! Won't someone think of the children????????!!!!
:D
Chani

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Cloverlief
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Post by Cloverlief »

Doctor X wrote:There have to be some rules . . . realizing that Santa Claus Conquers Mars is a "bad movie" is nothing to write about . . . though if you only realize that after seeing it a few times, it is time to double the medication.

--J.D.
Santa Claus Conquers Mars is such a bad movie that it becomes a good movie. It is so hokey and absurd and poorly acted and made that it is just fun to watch and MST it.
Chani

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Hexxenhammer
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Post by Hexxenhammer »

Sorry, Chani.

It's still the...Worst...Movie...EVER.

Directed by Michael Bay, the Worst...Director...EVER.

Ben Affleck should have been shot for that animal cracker scene.

Aerosmith should have been shot for that terrible song.
"I'll have the roast duck with the mango salsa."

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Quester_X
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Post by Quester_X »

Santa Claus Conquers Mars
It's "Santa Claus Conquers The Martians", you know.
I read about it here:
http://www.badmovies.org/movies/santamars/index.html
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Cloverlief
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Post by Cloverlief »

Hexxenhammer wrote:Sorry, Chani.

It's still the...Worst...Movie...EVER.

Directed by Michael Bay, the Worst...Director...EVER.

Ben Affleck should have been shot for that animal cracker scene.

Aerosmith should have been shot for that terrible song.
I could stay awake just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping
While you're far away and dreaming
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure

Don't want to close my eyes
I don't want to fall asleep
Cause I'd miss you baby
And I don't want to miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you baby
And I don't want to miss a thing

Lying close to you feeling your heart beating
And I'm wondering what you're dreaming
Wondering if it's me you're seeing
Then I kiss your eyes
And thank God we're together
I just want to stay with you in this moment forever
Forever and ever

Don't want to close my eyes
I don't want to fall asleep
Cause I'd miss you baby
And I don't want to miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you baby
And I don't want to miss a thing

I don't want to miss one smile
I don't want to miss one kiss
I just want to be with you
Right here with you, just like this
I just want to hold you close
Feel your heart so close to mine
And just stay here in this moment
For all the rest of time

Don't want to close my eyes
I don't want to fall asleep
Cause I'd miss you baby
And I don't want to miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you baby
And I don't want to miss a thing

Don't want to close my eyes
I don't want to fall asleep
I don't want to miss a thing.


Aerosmith

I do so love Aerosmith and I love that song as well. Armegeddon was if nothing else, a nice long Aerosmith video and that was all to the good. :D
Chani

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Cloverlief
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Post by Cloverlief »

Quester_X wrote:
Santa Claus Conquers Mars
It's "Santa Claus Conquers The Martians", you know.
I read about it here:
http://www.badmovies.org/movies/santamars/index.html
Yes, but have you seen it? Reading sometimes is not the same as experiencing!! So there! :P
Chani