Films that, looking back, were even worse than we thought

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Hexxenhammer
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Post by Hexxenhammer »

Chanileslie wrote: I could stay awake just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping
While you're far away and dreaming
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure

Don't want to close my eyes
I don't want to fall asleep
Cause I'd miss you baby
And I don't want to miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you baby
And I don't want to miss a thing

...

I do so love Aerosmith and I love that song as well. Armegeddon was if nothing else, a nice long Aerosmith video and that was all to the good. :D



NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





I lost what little respect I had left for Aerosmith (formerly one of my favorite bands) when I heard that song. If there's a hell, I'll be listening to that song for eternity.
"I'll have the roast duck with the mango salsa."

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Nigel
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Post by Nigel »

I cannot believe, absolutely cannot believe you people! I've been waiting all week to post this in the hopes that no one else has, and it's astonishing not one person has mentioned this movie!

Walking Tall (Joe Don Baker version)

30 years ago I thought it was great. He was a rough and tumble kinda guy, swinging a homemade oak bat at the bad guys. We recently bought the movie (I can't bring myself to say "film") at MediaPlay for about $3 on DVD, and it's laughably horrible! The 70s costumes, the wooden acting, the stilted dialogue, hell, just the theme of legalized vigilante justice (if you can't close 'em down legally, bust their heads) sends a message that GWB would love. Might makes right.

It should be high on anyone's list for a home MSTK3K party.
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I thought I won't submit this...but who cares...let it roll. -Pillory

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Quester_X
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Post by Quester_X »

So Nigel, what about the remake starring "The Rock"?
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Nigel
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Post by Nigel »

Quester_X wrote:So Nigel, what about the remake starring "The Rock"?
Haven't seen it, but judging from the box office receipts, it's in about the same class as JDB's version. I don't think the Rock is going to last long as a movie "star". He's certainly got the physique for an action actor, but it doesn't seem as though he can compete on the acting. (Though of course, no one is thinking about comparing him to Pacino or someone. But I don't think he'd even compare to someone like Stallone in his action prime. Rock is going to be relegated to grade Z movie status.)
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I thought I won't submit this...but who cares...let it roll. -Pillory

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Post by Nyarlathotep »

By wierd coincidence I was talkinga bout "Mortal Kombat" the game in a thread yesterday and when I came home from work, my son was watching the movie. I have to say the movie "Mortal Kombat" and its sequel definately are movies that sucked at first and only got worse from there.

I saw the first one when I was really bored and there was nothing else playing att he theater. I expected little from the movie and I was still disapointed. A bunch of fight scenes in front of cheesy blue screen backdrops strung together by bad dialogue spoken by crummy actors, a stupid techno-music soundtrack, and a pubic hair thin plotline does not make for a good movie, even if you aren't expecting much to begin with.

It also seems that the awfulness of the movie can't be fully appreciated in one sitting, because when my son popped it into the DVD player yesterday, I could only think "Damn, this movie is even worse than I remembered".

Movies based on video games usually suck, this one was no exception.

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whitefork
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Post by whitefork »

Gone With the Wind. I just can't watch it.
If it's good enough for Nelson, it's quite good enough for me.

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Cloverlief
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Post by Cloverlief »

Nigel wrote:
Quester_X wrote:So Nigel, what about the remake starring "The Rock"?
Haven't seen it, but judging from the box office receipts, it's in about the same class as JDB's version. I don't think the Rock is going to last long as a movie "star". He's certainly got the physique for an action actor, but it doesn't seem as though he can compete on the acting. (Though of course, no one is thinking about comparing him to Pacino or someone. But I don't think he'd even compare to someone like Stallone in his action prime. Rock is going to be relegated to grade Z movie status.)
Really? I think the Rock's last movie choice was poor, but you know, I think he has great comedic timing - he was hilarious in The Rundown - "bad monkey, bad monkey!". Not only that, but he is pure eye candy, baby!!
Chani

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Grammatron
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Post by Grammatron »

Chanileslie wrote:
Nigel wrote:
Quester_X wrote:So Nigel, what about the remake starring "The Rock"?
Haven't seen it, but judging from the box office receipts, it's in about the same class as JDB's version. I don't think the Rock is going to last long as a movie "star". He's certainly got the physique for an action actor, but it doesn't seem as though he can compete on the acting. (Though of course, no one is thinking about comparing him to Pacino or someone. But I don't think he'd even compare to someone like Stallone in his action prime. Rock is going to be relegated to grade Z movie status.)
Really? I think the Rock's last movie choice was poor, but you know, I think he has great comedic timing - he was hilarious in The Rundown - "bad monkey, bad monkey!". Not only that, but he is pure eye candy, baby!!
I won't comment on the eye-candy but he's a great action star. His years in the wrestling business made him perfect for these roles. An action-comedy with a good script would work for him, if such a thing would fall in his lap to begin with.

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Nigel
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Post by Nigel »

I may stand corrected on The Rock. Only time will tell, but let's just say I'm not a fan of his.
If you can't laugh, what good are you?

I thought I won't submit this...but who cares...let it roll. -Pillory

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Post by Grammatron »

Nigel wrote:I may stand corrected on The Rock. Only time will tell, but let's just say I'm not a fan of his.
Who are you a fan of?

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Nigel
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Post by Nigel »

Grammatron wrote:
Nigel wrote:I may stand corrected on The Rock. Only time will tell, but let's just say I'm not a fan of his.
Who are you a fan of?
Modern actors? Not many. I don't know the current crop too well (Ashton Kutcher and that type). Most of them I wouldn't know unless I saw their names under the picture.

Paul Newman is probably my alltime favorite actor though. Just too cool in the Hustler, and even though Color of Money stunk, he was great in that. Judge Roy Bean was another, and of course Butch Cassidy. I like Redford too, because of Butch Cassidy, but also Three Days of the Condor.

Matthau and Lemmon were great, too, as is Eastwood. Add people like Pacino, De Niro, Robert Duvall, etc.

I do like Johnny Depp, and James Remar is cool (Ajax in the Warriors). I'm a big fan of character actors, like M. Emmett Walsh, Jack Warden, and guys like that.

Actresses? Y'know, it's funny - there are some I like, but strangely, they don't come to mind at the moment.
If you can't laugh, what good are you?

I thought I won't submit this...but who cares...let it roll. -Pillory

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Post by Grammatron »

Nigel wrote:
Grammatron wrote:
Nigel wrote:I may stand corrected on The Rock. Only time will tell, but let's just say I'm not a fan of his.
Who are you a fan of?
Modern actors? Not many. I don't know the current crop too well (Ashton Kutcher and that type). Most of them I wouldn't know unless I saw their names under the picture.

Paul Newman is probably my alltime favorite actor though. Just too cool in the Hustler, and even though Color of Money stunk, he was great in that. Judge Roy Bean was another, and of course Butch Cassidy. I like Redford too, because of Butch Cassidy, but also Three Days of the Condor.

Matthau and Lemmon were great, too, as is Eastwood. Add people like Pacino, De Niro, Robert Duvall, etc.

I do like Johnny Depp, and James Remar is cool (Ajax in the Warriors). I'm a big fan of character actors, like M. Emmett Walsh, Jack Warden, and guys like that.
No Christopher Guest? :D
Actresses? Y'know, it's funny - there are some I like, but strangely, they don't come to mind at the moment.
No way; they have names? :twisted:

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Doctor X
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Post by Doctor X »

Mortal Combat is one of my favorite cheese-fests. Nothing like every fight scene where the villian CLEARLY is better than the "good guy." It was fun in the theater--I would not bother to watch it again.

The Party supposedly a classic and HILARIOUS Peter Sellers' movie.

Boring. Bloody boring. My friend stated he remembered laughing at it years ago, but now found it offensively irritating.

--J.D.
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Post by Quester_X »

Mortal Combat is one of my favorite cheese-fests.
Then you should spell it correctly. It's Mortal Kombat.
The Party supposedly a classic and HILARIOUS Peter Sellers' movie.
If this is the movie where an Indian film extra goes to a socialite's party by mistake, then yes, it's hilarious.
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Post by Doctor X »

Bah! I have no need to perpetuate bad speling.

You are correct, accept the actual film is about as hilarious as a rectal wart.

Now if you find rectal warts hilarious. . . .

It suffers from the scurge of "slap-stick"--extend the joke far beyond funny. This becomes evident in the opening scenes. It was funny . . . now it is not. Besides, someone already did the "Gunga Din" joke on a recording. Then him blowing up the set was as subtle as Richard Pryor getting on the roof "slope" in Superman III.

. . . and so on. . . .

Part of the problem is that while Sellers is variably "on" and "off" his humor EVERYONE else in the cast is OFF. He cannot sustain the entire film himself.

The "Pink Pather" films became funny when the rest of the cast became funny. Frankly, "Chief-Inspector Dreyfus" drives much of the comedy in A Shot in the Dark and in the other good films. Indeed, even in the bad ones, the good parts are driven by him and others playing off Sellers.

Not to insult Sellers, but comedy is rarely a "one-man" gig. Dr. Strangelove works because of the other characters playing off Sellers' characters--such as "Jack T. Ripper" and his "precious bodily fluids."

The Party lacks all of this. Some indication that it seems the only other actor to survive was Gavin McLaud--and no, I do not care to even bother looking up the spelling since his work is not worth the effort.

--J.D.
Mob of the Mean: Free beanie, cattle-prod and Charley Fan Club!
"Doctor X is just treating you the way he treats everyone--as subhuman crap too dumb to breathe in after you breathe out." – Don
DocX: FTW. – sparks
"Doctor X wins again." – Pyrrho
"Never sorry to make a racist Fucktard cry." – His Humble MagNIfIcence
"It was the criticisms of Doc X, actually, that let me see more clearly how far the hypocrisy had gone." – clarsct
"I'd leave it up to Doctor X who has been a benevolent tyrant so far." – Grammatron
"Indeed you are a river to your people.
Shit. That's going to end up in your sig." – Pyrrho
"Try a twelve step program and accept Doctor X as your High Power." – asthmatic camel
"just like Doc X said." – gnome

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Post by Quester_X »

I'm easily amused when it comes to humor. For some reason, the "Birdy Num-Nums" & "Cowboy" made me laugh. I watched it with my father, though, who loves the movie. That sometimes makes a movie seem funnier, when you are sharing it.
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Post by Nigel »

Quester_X wrote:I'm easily amused when it comes to humor. For some reason, the "Birdy Num-Nums" & "Cowboy" made me laugh. I watched it with my father, though, who loves the movie. That sometimes makes a movie seem funnier, when you are sharing it.
I think you're wrong I shared a viewing of "Debbie Does Dallas" with a date in college, and she didn't think it was funny at all.
If you can't laugh, what good are you?

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Post by Grammatron »

Nigel wrote:
Quester_X wrote:I'm easily amused when it comes to humor. For some reason, the "Birdy Num-Nums" & "Cowboy" made me laugh. I watched it with my father, though, who loves the movie. That sometimes makes a movie seem funnier, when you are sharing it.
I think you're wrong I shared a viewing of "Debbie Does Dallas" with a date in college, and she didn't think it was funny at all.
Maybe she was laughing on the inside?

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Nigel
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Post by Nigel »

Grammatron wrote:
Nigel wrote:
Quester_X wrote:I'm easily amused when it comes to humor. For some reason, the "Birdy Num-Nums" & "Cowboy" made me laugh. I watched it with my father, though, who loves the movie. That sometimes makes a movie seem funnier, when you are sharing it.
I think you're wrong I shared a viewing of "Debbie Does Dallas" with a date in college, and she didn't think it was funny at all.
Maybe she was laughing on the inside?
I don't think so. She wanted to leave the showing early - next thing I knew she was rolling around with the guy next door.
If you can't laugh, what good are you?

I thought I won't submit this...but who cares...let it roll. -Pillory

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Post by Grammatron »

Nigel wrote:
Grammatron wrote:
Nigel wrote:
Quester_X wrote:I'm easily amused when it comes to humor. For some reason, the "Birdy Num-Nums" & "Cowboy" made me laugh. I watched it with my father, though, who loves the movie. That sometimes makes a movie seem funnier, when you are sharing it.
I think you're wrong I shared a viewing of "Debbie Does Dallas" with a date in college, and she didn't think it was funny at all.
Maybe she was laughing on the inside?
I don't think so. She wanted to leave the showing early - next thing I knew she was rolling around with the guy next door.
I can't think of a none-offensive comment here, so uhm...fish.