## Am I a barbarian, or is this stuff junk?

Drama queens must check their tiaras at the door.

## Am I a barbarian, or is this stuff junk?

Shemp is a barbarian. His walls are covered with velvet Elvises and dogs playing poker.
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Shemp is right. The are a lot of crazy rich people who are fooled by junk.
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Planet X is a work of art in itself!
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shemp
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### Am I a barbarian, or is this stuff junk?

Child art prodigy wows New York
A four-year-old girl is wowing the New York art world with paintings that are drawing comparisons with Jackson Pollock and Wassily Kandinsky.

Marla Olmstead, from Binghamton, in New York state, has been painting since just before she was two years old.

Using brushes, spatulas, her fingers and even ketchup bottles, she is creating canvases of six by six foot.

The prodigy has already sold about 25 paintings, raising $40,000 (£22,000) and a new exhibition opens on Friday. When I look at these paintings, I see the scribblings of a child. But they're selling for thousands of dollars! Am I a barbarian? Or are there a lot of crazy effete fruitcakes out there who will pay a lot of money for pretentious junk? You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post. "It is not I who is mad! It is I who is crazy!" -- Ren Hoek "what dicking deep shit i produce" -- pillory Freedom of choice Is what you got Freedom from choice Is what you want People are shitting themselves to death Crap so much they fail to take a breath But even when their kids are starvin' They thought Trump would throw them Charmin. Grammatron Posts: 34837 Joined: Tue Jun 08, 2004 1:21 am Location: Los Angeles, CA Colorful junk. Nyarlathotep Posts: 49191 Joined: Fri Jun 04, 2004 2:50 pm It's junk AND you are a barbarian..... Maybe it's just me, but I don't get most of what passes for art today. Michealangelo, Da Vinci, Van Gogh, Monet.....that stuff I get. Later than that you get stuff like this junk and I fail to see the appeal. Quester_X Posts: 12926 Joined: Fri Jun 04, 2004 9:26 pm It's nice to look at, but no way would I spend money on those things. You'll all be mine, in the end. Hexxenhammer Posts: 3863 Joined: Wed Jun 02, 2004 10:56 pm Location: Minnesota Modern art is fucking stupid. It's not art unless it looks like something. Those are pictures of nothing. Read a comic book if you want art. Or better yet, by a Frazetta book and look at barbarian art. "I'll have the roast duck with the mango salsa." SkepticJ Posts: 501 Joined: Fri Jul 23, 2004 7:02 pm I like the bottom one, but I can make my own by randomly spilling paint on a canvas. I won't be buying any. Edited to add: What the hell?! Anyone want to buy my crayon drawings I did when I was five? Bids start at$5000.
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He imbues more Sitz em Leben in his work. . . .

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Cloverlief
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You know, PT Barnum may not have really said, "There's a sucker born every minute," but he should have.

I am glad that her parents are getting money for these paintings though, maybe it will allow them to send their little 4 year old prodigy to college without bankrupting themselves to do it.

I wish I had the ability to sell my children's artwork, I would in a flash, and they have done some stuff that I thought was incredible.
Chani

RedShift
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Hmmm. I like those paintings. Not $40,000 like, thought. But you arer right, there are a lot of fruitcakes in modern art . But those paintings aren't bad. Random chance seems to have operated in our favour. [color=red]If I wanted something your thumb touched, I’d eat the inside of your ear.[/color] Cloverlief Posts: 5025 Joined: Tue Jan 08, 2008 10:59 pm Location: Here, there or somewhere RedShift wrote:Hmmm. I like those paintings. Not$40,000 like, thought.

But you arer right, there are a lot of fruitcakes in modern art . But those paintings aren't bad.
No, there are not bad. They are colorful, and I have seen numerous pre-schoolers paint very similar pictures. Right down to the finger painting with the scribble of marker over it.

I actually liked the last painting, myself. I think I will go purchase a canvas, some paint and see if one of my children can produce one equally pleasing.
Chani

RedShift
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[quote="Chanileslie"]

No, there are not bad. They are colorful, and I have seen numerous pre-schoolers paint very similar pictures. Right down to the finger painting with the scribble of marker over it.
quote]

I think they are better than the average pre school fingerpainting. Anyway, they have no inherent worth, only that conferred u[pon them by what someone is willing to pay.

So are they worth $40,000? They are now. Reminds me of when the Australian Govt bought Jackson Pollock's Blue Poles back in 73. Caused outrage, called a waste of money. There's a famous picture of a newspaper front page from the time with the screaming headline "It Was Painted By A Drunk!" And now it is worth many many times what we paid for it and is one of the most internationaly signifcant piece in any of our galleries. Random chance seems to have operated in our favour. [color=red]If I wanted something your thumb touched, I’d eat the inside of your ear.[/color] Nigel Posts: 7987 Joined: Thu Jun 10, 2004 1:33 am Location: Brinsby I've never been one for abstract art, partially because of the thoughts expressed in this thread - a kid could do it, but really, is that the point of art? Doesn't art make you feel something? But then again, it's easy to get pretentious - wasn't it in 'Play it Again Sam' that Woody Allen goes to the art museum to pick up a girl, and he talks to one in front of a painting. (Memory here) "What does it say to you?" he asks. She says in a monotone, "It symbolizes man's incomprehensibly lonely place in the vast unlimited cosmos." "What are you doing Saturday night?" "Committing suicide." In a downtown mall near my work, there's an art gallery, and I occasionally see abstract or near abstract paintings - mostly sunset sort of things, rather than silly string shot onto a canvas. But if it makes me feel something, then to me it's art. That's not the only definition, but it's one. If you can't laugh, what good are you? I thought I won't submit this...but who cares...let it roll. -Pillory RedShift Posts: 1057 Joined: Sun Jun 13, 2004 9:55 pm Location: Desolation Row Nigel wrote:But if it makes me feel something, then to me it's art. That's not the only definition, but it's one. If you can't see a nipple, it's art. Random chance seems to have operated in our favour. [color=red]If I wanted something your thumb touched, I’d eat the inside of your ear.[/color] Nigel Posts: 7987 Joined: Thu Jun 10, 2004 1:33 am Location: Brinsby RedShift wrote: Nigel wrote:But if it makes me feel something, then to me it's art. That's not the only definition, but it's one. If you can't see a nipple, it's art. But only if the nipple is draped by a cloth. (But what if you still know the nipple is there?) If you can't laugh, what good are you? I thought I won't submit this...but who cares...let it roll. -Pillory Brian Posts: 292 Joined: Wed Jun 09, 2004 3:49 pm Those paintings are pretty in their own way. It's the kids parents who are the artists. Abstract is 99% line of shit and 1% painting. Shit on a newspaper and convince a bunch of people that it's about the war in Bosnia...ta da!. Art! The person who sells the line of shit is the artist. It's a religon that I call Lineofshitism. Maybe if you can paint very well and chose not to there could be something to it. The Book of Love has music in it, In fact that's where music comes from, Some of it's just transcendental, Some of it is really dumb. -Magnetic Fields Badger Posts: 3611 Joined: Mon Jun 07, 2004 5:57 pm Location: Here, there, and sometimes elsewhere These paintnigs have me confused. I'm a barbarian, but I find them nice to look at. They seem, to my uneducated eye, to have nice balance, form and colour, even though they're not pictures of anything. I like these paintings the most of any "modern art" I've seen. What I wonder is what makes them worth$40k? I mean, the kid is 4, and so isn't representing some great human emotional thing, or societal struggle, or whatever crap the "critics" attribute to "works". Why are they "art" rather than just some nice paintings?
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RedShift
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But only if the nipple is draped by a cloth.
That's art.

(But what if you still know the nipple is there?)

That's porn.
Random chance seems to have operated in our favour.

[color=red]If I wanted something your thumb touched, I’d eat the inside of your ear.[/color]

Brian
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What I wonder is what makes them worth $40k? /cynical conjecture How would the status of a member of the art community, who owns one of these paintings, change if this kids parents parley this into their kid growing up to be a recognized artist? "She started when she was two!" "I started when I was two!" Even now the buyers can whack each other off about how they saw the genius. Or how this makes a statement about art. Or, hey, I paid 40K for this and I'm in a posistion to tell you it's good or important. The emporer wears no clothes. The Book of Love has music in it, In fact that's where music comes from, Some of it's just transcendental, Some of it is really dumb. -Magnetic Fields Cloverlief Posts: 5025 Joined: Tue Jan 08, 2008 10:59 pm Location: Here, there or somewhere RedShift wrote: Chanileslie wrote: No, there are not bad. They are colorful, and I have seen numerous pre-schoolers paint very similar pictures. Right down to the finger painting with the scribble of marker over it. I think they are better than the average pre school fingerpainting. Anyway, they have no inherent worth, only that conferred u[pon them by what someone is willing to pay. Um, not really, better than some pre-school fingerpainting, but not better than the average other than it is obvious that her medium is much better quality than contruction paper and finger paints that the average pre-schooler has access to. Especially that brown one that looks as if ketchup has been sprayed on it. I see that one nearly anytime we have anything with ketchup, of course, usually the background is white with flowers because that is the pattern on my dinner ware. RedShift wrote:So are they worth$40,000? They are now.
Only to the inane and gullible who obviously have more money than brains, but alas that is true for so many things, not just art. <sigh> To me, they are worthless.

On the other hand, if one can get $40,000 for their kids paintings, by all means, go for it! RedShift wrote:Reminds me of when the Australian Govt bought Jackson Pollock's Blue Poles back in 73. Caused outrage, called a waste of money. There's a famous picture of a newspaper front page from the time with the screaming headline "It Was Painted By A Drunk!" And now it is worth many many times what we paid for it and is one of the most internationaly signifcant piece in any of our galleries. People will often times spend exorbitant amounts of money on things that have no intrinsic value. I worked for a plumbing company that was located in a very wealthy area, and so many of these people would have gold plumbing fixtures and persian rugs in their bathrooms. Why gold? It isn't as durable or as practical as polished brass and it is more than 100x the cost, although if a polished brass fixture were set next to a gold fixture, one wouldn't be able to tell them apart. It is insane. I hated those people because they were the ones that would call whenever their toilet overflowed screaming about it ruining the persian rug or their gold faucet! My answer was simple, remove the persian rug from the room, and the gold faucet that cost$50,000 for will survive a bit of sewage. People are insane, and that is my only answer to that.
Chani

DrMatt
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I know a guy who in the 1980s openly and vocally aspired to sell his excrement in cans as ojects d'art--a gig successfully operated in 1961 by one Piero Manzoni according to some sources I've seen.

Instead, he became a composer of excellent Broadway-style songs, and the manager of a gamelan.

See how hard it is for artists to stick to the straight-and-narrow?
Grayman wrote:If masturbation led to homosexuality you'd think by now I'd at least have better fashion sense.