Placeholder: movies/tv shows that will never be

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gnome
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Placeholder: movies/tv shows that will never be

Post by gnome »

Post your favorite scifi/fantasy/adventure/action/suspsense/whatever story franchise that should be a movie, but probably never will. (As from a favorite book series, for example)

Anyone who posts something that actually gets screened (or already has been) loses, and must change their avatar to Jar Jar Binks for 17 days. Over time there may be a few losers.

Doesn't count if it is "In production" or "rumored" or even in the middle of filming. To count for losing, it must be publicly released.

My entry: "On a Pale Horse" by Piers Anthony / Incarnations of Immortality

If they ever make that a movie I will wear my Binks avatar joyfully.
"If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight! Sun Tzu said that, and I'd say he knows a little bit more about fighting than you do, pal, because he invented it, and then he perfected it so that no living man could best him in the ring of honor. Then, he used his fight money to buy two of every animal on earth, and then he herded them onto a boat, and then he beat the crap out of every single one. And from that day forward any time a bunch of animals are together in one place it's called a zoo! (Beat) Unless it's a farm!"
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Re: Placeholder: movies/tv shows that will never be

Post by Nyarlathotep »

On so many. My current lament is that Guillermo Del Toro's At The Mountains of Madness looks like it will never see the light of day. That is a Lovecraft story that I think would make a good movie but it just can't get off the ground. My theory is that they figure people unfamiliar with it will think its a cheap knockoff if The Thing, despite having no resemblance to it other than being about monsters in Antarctica. And sadly, they might be right about that.

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Re: Placeholder: movies/tv shows that will never be

Post by Abdul Alhazred »

Star Trek other than TOS that doesn't suck. :mrgreen:
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Re: Placeholder: movies/tv shows that will never be

Post by whitefork »

Riddley Walker
Infinite Jest
If it's good enough for Nelson, it's quite good enough for me.

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Re: Placeholder: movies/tv shows that will never be

Post by Grammatron »

Stephen King's Dark Tower series.

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Re: Placeholder: movies/tv shows that will never be

Post by Bearguin »

Kinda the opposite, but I always wanted to know what the storyline was going to be with the B5 spinoff Crusade. I know it will never hit tv, but I'd pick up a book or series that told the rest of the story.

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Re: Placeholder: movies/tv shows that will never be

Post by Cool Hand »

I'll play along with a bold entry. A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole. Yes, I am aware of the various failed attempts to bring it to the big screen. That's why I'm calling it a bold entry.

CH
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Re: Placeholder: movies/tv shows that will never be

Post by Rob Lister »

Cool Hand wrote:I'll play along with a bold entry. A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy O'Toole. Yes, I am aware of the various failed attempts to bring it to the big screen. That's why I'm calling it a bold entry.
For me, Dunces started great but ended like my first used Ford.

My candidates:

Dying Inside by Robert Silverberg. Strike that. It wouldn't translate to the screen. Plus it isn't 'real' SciFi The Alien Years. There. He can have that one.

Childhood's End by Arthur C.

If we need to dump some real cga, The Mote in God's Eye by Niven and Pournelle We all know who did the heavy lifting in that relationship

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Re: Placeholder: movies/tv shows that will never be

Post by gnome »

By god, Childhood's End was depressing. It even had a disclaimer that said it didn't represent the views of the author. Why the fuck did you write it then?!
"If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight! Sun Tzu said that, and I'd say he knows a little bit more about fighting than you do, pal, because he invented it, and then he perfected it so that no living man could best him in the ring of honor. Then, he used his fight money to buy two of every animal on earth, and then he herded them onto a boat, and then he beat the crap out of every single one. And from that day forward any time a bunch of animals are together in one place it's called a zoo! (Beat) Unless it's a farm!"
--Soldier, TF2

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Re: Placeholder: movies/tv shows that will never be

Post by Rob Lister »

gnome wrote:By god, Childhood's End was depressing. It even had a disclaimer that said it didn't represent the views of the author. Why the fuck did you write it then?!
I hate happy endings.

Of my three, the only one that was even close to a happy ending was Mote, even though you knew deep, deep inside at the last page that they weren't going to hold them there forever.

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Re: Placeholder: movies/tv shows that will never be

Post by gnome »

I can handle movies without happy endings. This one just sort of ended with a thud for me--everything I started to care about wound up not mattering.

Worse is, if they made it into a movie, the bastards would give it a happy ending. So I'd hate it even more.
"If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight! Sun Tzu said that, and I'd say he knows a little bit more about fighting than you do, pal, because he invented it, and then he perfected it so that no living man could best him in the ring of honor. Then, he used his fight money to buy two of every animal on earth, and then he herded them onto a boat, and then he beat the crap out of every single one. And from that day forward any time a bunch of animals are together in one place it's called a zoo! (Beat) Unless it's a farm!"
--Soldier, TF2

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Re: Placeholder: movies/tv shows that will never be

Post by Abdul Alhazred »

Any additional Star Wars anything that doesn't suck.

BTW, the suckage started with The Empire Strikes Back.
You know damn well Vader wasn't originally intended to be Luke's father.
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Re: Placeholder: movies/tv shows that will never be

Post by Abdul Alhazred »

Any additional Batman movie that doesn't suck.

Likewise, Superman.
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Re: Placeholder: movies/tv shows that will never be

Post by Abdul Alhazred »

Any movie based on any Marvel Comic ever that doesn't suck.
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Re: Placeholder: movies/tv shows that will never be

Post by Abdul Alhazred »

I am of course excluding from that formulation of suckage any Bollywood musicals that might be made from those properties, especially without permission.

Any of those will be super cool like these. :BigGrin3:

[youtube]nJsQgKCTucM[/youtube]

[youtube]e0R8iy0CSzU[/youtube]
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Re: Placeholder: movies/tv shows that will never be

Post by hammegk »

Excession by Ian M Banks.

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Re: Placeholder: movies/tv shows that will never be

Post by Nyarlathotep »

I'd also have to add to my list Good Omens and Johnathan Strange and Mr Norrel.

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Re: Placeholder: movies/tv shows that will never be

Post by Rob Lister »

Nyarlathotep wrote:I'd also have to add to my list Good Omens and Johnathan Strange and Mr Norrel.
If we're going to do Gaiman, I'd rather do American Gods.

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Re: Placeholder: movies/tv shows that will never be

Post by Nyarlathotep »

Yeah, but Good Omens was supposed to have been in the works before American Gods was even written. Unfortunately, like At the Mountains of Madness its one that has been rumored to be juuuuuuuust about to be seriously started on, but never actually is. And it irritates me, because I loved the book

Johnathan Strange and Mr Norrelisn't Gaiman (It was written by one Susanna Clarke) though it is very Gaiman-esque. It was supposed to have been started on as a movie too, at least according to what I heard when it first came out, but that project seems to have dropped off the face of the Earth too.
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Re: Placeholder: movies/tv shows that will never be

Post by asthmatic camel »

The Legacy of Heorot by Niven, Pournelle and Barnes.

Even I'd leave the house to see that.
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