What have you been watching lately

Drama queens must check their tiaras at the door.
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Bruce
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Re: What have you been watching lately

Post by Bruce »

When you read the Bible sections on Jesus, he sounds all sagely and wise, but when you watch an actor talk like him, he really comes off like a modern hipster douche.

Imagine Jesus ordering at Starbucks.....

Hey, what can I get you?
I want what God wants.

Oh....right. He came before you. Asked for sacrificial goat's blood and unlevened bread, so I gave him a raspberry hibiscus tea and a plain biscotti. Close enough, I guess. He didn't smite me. Anything else?
Follow me and I can make you a fisher of men.

No thanks. I'm straight, and besides I'm working a double shift. How about a smoked salmon sandwich? Oh, what name should I put on your cup?
I am the messenger. I am he who lights the way.

Right. I'll just put hipster douchebag. That will be 10.75........or gram of francinsence works too.....will have to look up the exchange rate on that.


Hey, wait. You paid for one smoked salmon and one biscotti. How did you end up with a basket if each? In fact, where did you get those baskets?

Behold, the Lord shall provide.

Wait, I need to ask my manager. I think you're supposed to pay for those. Hey! Wait! Don't walk out of here! I'll......I'll notify the Roman guards!

Let Caesar have what is his.

Damn it, Jesus!! You ought to damn well be crucified! :x :x
Such potential!

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Anaxagoras
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Re: What have you been watching lately

Post by Anaxagoras »

New season of Better Call Saul. :hooray:
A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool.
William Shakespeare

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ed
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Re: What have you been watching lately

Post by ed »

The Trust with Nick Cage and Elijah Wood.

Nick Cage has never turned down a movie deal. I got him for my kid's 12th birthday, in s clown suit. $17.35 + cake.

This is another one.

First scene: topless chick riding Wood (ha). When a movie tosses in tits for absolutely no reason your crap-o sensors should be on High. It is done so that, subconsciously, you are waiting for the next "showing" so you don't walk out of the theater.

Seriously. You have two no-shit professional actors. You may pooh-pooh them and get all auteur like and criticize LOTR or any one of the thousands of Cage films but the fact remains that these guys can deliver a line. They are actors. They really deserve a cogent script. If nothing else, it is a question of manners. What you don't do is have them deliver a reasonable performance and then have the damn movie augur into a vortex of incoherence.

Three of us watched this thing last night. When it ended I issued my review: "What the fuck was that? It sucked!". A sentiment echoed by my irritated co-watchers. Unanimous. No demur.

I do understand that Nick Cage is only in it for the money but even he should have put up a restraining hand and said "WTF, guys. Can't you refrain from the blow for 15 minutes and give us an ending that is not insulting to all concerned?

I really don't get it. You have two competent actors, a budget > $0, locations, a supporting cast and you can't cobble something that is film school level quality out of that? Didn't the actors note that the thing went off the rails in the final 20 minutes? Did they say anything? That leads me to suspect that the thing got fucked up in editing.

I really don't want to give a precis of the whole thing so I will briefly review the problem.
Wood (ha) and Cage are cops. Cage finds a vault in an apartment building (?) that he thinks contains mucho denaro. Thet determine that going in from the apartment above is the way to go. They go into the apartment and knock off a guy and tie up a chick that is there.

Issues to date:
1-WTF is a vault with 36"(!!) steel reinforced walls doing in an apartment?? Really? That is the best place for it? Stupid.
2-They kill some stranger in the apartment without so much as a fare thee well. Really?
3- Earlier Cage gratuitously knocks off some guy he buys some guns from. Sure, it is "shocking" but why? Made zero sense.

They drill down from above to stick a proctoscope into the innards of the vault to see the tumblers so that, below, Frodo can work the combination lock. Seems if you make a mistake the thing locks up and won't let you in for days or something. Which leads us to:

4- given that this thing cost a million dollars to make (the vault that is) wouldn't they have used a lock that was a bit less steam punk? Biometrics or at least a keypad???? Stupid.
5- the detritus from drilling down for proctoscope access is on the floor fully three feet BEHIND the door. :D

OK, onward.
In the vault they find diamonds. Many, many diamonds. They go back upstairs and somehow find a secret room with guns(!). Lots of guns. Not Florida level quantities but still LOTS. The chick whines about having to call her kid's father. Frodo lets her (<------Plot point).

Seeing the guns and the diamonds, Frodo get cold feet (which, given the hairy nature of hobbit feet suggests some really cold weather). Whereupon he kills (!) Nick and returns the Diamonds to the vault (!!) binds up the chick and puts her in the back of his van in order to deposit her someplace or other (!!!).

Whilst driving a another van pulls ahead of him, the back opens and some unidentified agent of Mordor shoots him thru the head.

The movie ends with a scene of their drilling crap being put in a police warehouse.

The end

So the chick, evidentially, is in on the diamond storage and is "security" I guess. She calls and, using a special chick-code, tell her employers that the game is afoot. They show up and wait till Frodo is driving at 80 MPH in order to shoot him rather than simply bopping him on the head when he comes out of the apartment with the chick (who, for reasons known best to God, had a bag over her head when he dragged her out).

It made no sense. Stupid.
About that stereo

Nyarlathotep
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Re: What have you been watching lately

Post by Nyarlathotep »

Spenser Confidential. A really shitty adaption of the same novels that formed the basis for Spenser for Hire.

Mark Wahlberg is no Robert Urich and Generic Black Guy (Winston Duke, according to Wikipedia) isn't worthy to lick Avery Brooks' shoes.

On the other hand the TV version of What We Do In The Shadows may actually be funnier than the original movie. And I am not saying that because the original was unfunny, I am saying that because What We Do In The Shadows is legitimately even funnier. I haven't laughed so hard in years.

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ed
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Re: What have you been watching lately

Post by ed »

Nyarlathotep wrote:
Sun Mar 08, 2020 8:55 pm
Spenser Confidential. A really shitty adaption of the same novels that formed the basis for Spenser for Hire.

Mark Wahlberg is no Robert Urich and Generic Black Guy (Winston Duke, according to Wikipedia) isn't worthy to lick Avery Brooks' shoes.

On the other hand the TV version of What We Do In The Shadows may actually be funnier than the original movie. And I am not saying that because the original was unfunny, I am saying that because What We Do In The Shadows is legitimately even funnier. I haven't laughed so hard in years.
+1 on the Whalberg thing. Also, did you notice that the music track was so high that you couldn't always hear the dialog. Mabe that was a mercy.

Also

+1 on What we do in the Shadows. Very witty

Try Hoff the Record. A pseudo biopic about David Hasselhoff. Never saw Baywatch, never say Knight Rider. There are some genuinely laugh out loud moments. Episode 1 is weak. Be patient.
About that stereo

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ed
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Re: What have you been watching lately

Post by ed »

Saw a horror flick yesterday. Girl on the Third Floor.

Weak, stupid. Only horror was the movie itself.
About that stereo

Nyarlathotep
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Re: What have you been watching lately

Post by Nyarlathotep »

ed wrote:
Thu Mar 26, 2020 1:05 pm
Saw a horror flick yesterday. Girl on the Third Floor.

Weak, stupid. Only horror was the movie itself.

I could rant for a very long time (and have, at my blog) on what is wrong with modern horror. And that movie is a prime example of just about all of it.

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Bruce
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Re: What have you been watching lately

Post by Bruce »

ed wrote:
Thu Mar 26, 2020 1:05 pm
Saw a horror flick yesterday. Girl on the Third Floor.

Weak, stupid. Only horror was the movie itself.
That one was truly terrible. Nothing redeeming whatsoever. They didn't even try.
Such potential!

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Bruce
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Re: What have you been watching lately

Post by Bruce »

The Platform.

Gruesome at times, and some parts didn't quite make sense, but overall, a good socio-economic-political metaphorical commentary on the existential human condition in today's world. And it had boobs, which is always nice.
Spoiler:
Some political statements were more than a bit obvious, like when the black guy asked for help, and "those above" threw him a rope, then literally shit in his face when he was almost to their level, then he whined like a bitch.

The gassing and re-distribution part was more than a bit hard to digest. There are 333 floors and apparently, no one survives below 250, so what's the point of those floors. Apparently the redistribution is random, so with each role of the dice, you have about a 1 in 3 chance of being totally fucked, which is terrible odds.

So the jailers must know that they will be cleaning up 100 rooms if massacre every month. How does that work. Where did they find the child for the 333 floor? How did she survive there at all? What the fuck was up with the food preparers? What have they been told about their customers? What about the people who clean the table when its sent back up? There must be all sorts of horrors to clean up every day. I know the logistics aren't the point, but for this imaginary world, there are way too many, so it's too distracting.

Did no one think to bring a gun as their one item? Taser? Blowtorch? Cannon? Sword? Why not if knives are ok?

Loved the gentleman cannibal. He looked familiar...was he the oompah-loompah in that horrible Johnny Depp remake of willy wonka?
Such potential!

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Doctor X
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Re: What have you been watching lately

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Since it is still 2019 . . . enjoyed Mindhunter.

– J.D.
Mob of the Mean: Free beanie, cattle-prod and Charley Fan Club!
"Doctor X is just treating you the way he treats everyone--as subhuman crap too dumb to breathe in after you breathe out." – Don
DocX: FTW. – sparks
"Doctor X wins again." – Pyrrho
"Never sorry to make a racist Fucktard cry." – His Humble MagNIfIcence
"It was the criticisms of Doc X, actually, that let me see more clearly how far the hypocrisy had gone." – clarsct
"I'd leave it up to Doctor X who has been a benevolent tyrant so far." – Grammatron
"Indeed you are a river to your people.
Shit. That's going to end up in your sig." – Pyrrho
"Try a twelve step program and accept Doctor X as your High Power." – asthmatic camel
"just like Doc X said." – gnome

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Sir
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Re: What have you been watching lately

Post by Sir »

His name is Robert Paulson.
Warning: If you are reading this then this warning is for you. Every word you read of this useless fine print is another second off your life. Don't you have other things to do? Is your life so empty that you honestly can't think of a better way to spend these moments?

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Bruce
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Re: What have you been watching lately

Post by Bruce »

Doctor X wrote:
Fri Mar 27, 2020 5:46 am
Since it is still 2019 . . . enjoyed Mindhunter.

– J.D.
I'm trying to get into it, but I'm halfway through episode 2 and bored out of my mind. Does it start getting good soon?
Such potential!

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Doctor X
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Re: What have you been watching lately

Post by Doctor X »

You found a woman and her very young son sodomized by a broom stick unsatisfactory?

Meanwhile, on a recommendation, the Japanese Malaysian Original Virus.

The very first words of dialogue are a man picking up a phone at home as he returns from presumably a vacation with his family. The voice is a women:
Man: Hello

Woman: Sir, we have run out of ventilators in the Medical College. What do we do when more patients arrive?






Maybe . . . not a good idea?

– J.D.
Mob of the Mean: Free beanie, cattle-prod and Charley Fan Club!
"Doctor X is just treating you the way he treats everyone--as subhuman crap too dumb to breathe in after you breathe out." – Don
DocX: FTW. – sparks
"Doctor X wins again." – Pyrrho
"Never sorry to make a racist Fucktard cry." – His Humble MagNIfIcence
"It was the criticisms of Doc X, actually, that let me see more clearly how far the hypocrisy had gone." – clarsct
"I'd leave it up to Doctor X who has been a benevolent tyrant so far." – Grammatron
"Indeed you are a river to your people.
Shit. That's going to end up in your sig." – Pyrrho
"Try a twelve step program and accept Doctor X as your High Power." – asthmatic camel
"just like Doc X said." – gnome

ImageWS CHAMPIONS X4!!!! ImageNBA CHAMPIONS!! Stanley Cup!Image SB CHAMPIONS X6!!!!!! Image

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ed
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Re: What have you been watching lately

Post by ed »

Nyarlathotep wrote:
Fri Mar 27, 2020 2:09 am
ed wrote:
Thu Mar 26, 2020 1:05 pm
Saw a horror flick yesterday. Girl on the Third Floor.

Weak, stupid. Only horror was the movie itself.

I could rant for a very long time (and have, at my blog) on what is wrong with modern horror. And that movie is a prime example of just about all of it.
I think that modern film is largely the same generally. Remember that guy that famously said "there will never be dead air"? Well, there will never be blank screens in theaters. They have thousands, maybe tens of thousands of scripts and marginally competent actors who can turn out movies like old Italians grind out sausage. And IT DOESN'T MATTER. With international distribution, DVD sales and rentals, deals with Netflix and Amazon, the thing will make money, or at least break even. I am sure that they have formulae that tell the producers exactly how much stuff should cost. The product is generic but who cares? They can operate at the margin and still keep everyone happy.

Saw a flic lat night, damn the name escapes me (surprise) ... it was a Bruce Willis payday movie. He has a total of 5 minutes screen time and got top billing ..
re. Willis in the Expendables 3:
A source with knowledge of the situation says the fallout was over a specific money demand. Willis was offered $3 million for four days of consecutive work on location in Bulgaria for the film. "He said he'd drop out unless he got $4 million," this source close to the production says. "A million dollars a day. Stallone and everybody else involved said no."
https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/ ... s-3-602051
Marauders was the title. Made no sense. No sense whatsoever. Go watch it and come back here and lets discuss it. Stupid waste of everything. Came out in 2016, Ebert reviewed it here https://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/marauders-2016

It is sad since when you have a budget and you have actors it seems that you should be able to create something that is >0, right?
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Pyrrho
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Re: What have you been watching lately

Post by Pyrrho »


The flash of light you saw in the sky was not a UFO. Swamp gas from a weather balloon was trapped in a thermal pocket and reflected the light from Venus.

Nyarlathotep
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Re: What have you been watching lately

Post by Nyarlathotep »

Okay, my newest obsession is YouTube videos by Caitlin Doughty, a rmortician who is (I must say) rather easy on the eyeballs. Apparently she does a lot of them talking about the funeral business but the ones I really like are the ones that focus on weird deaths, iconic corpses (i.e. Evita Peron) and strange funeral practices. Here are a couple for reference.




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Rob Lister
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Re: What have you been watching lately

Post by Rob Lister »

Anybody seen this yet

Image

I'm guessing it suks because it has 99% on rotten tomatoes.

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Doctor X
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Re: What have you been watching lately

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– J.D.
Mob of the Mean: Free beanie, cattle-prod and Charley Fan Club!
"Doctor X is just treating you the way he treats everyone--as subhuman crap too dumb to breathe in after you breathe out." – Don
DocX: FTW. – sparks
"Doctor X wins again." – Pyrrho
"Never sorry to make a racist Fucktard cry." – His Humble MagNIfIcence
"It was the criticisms of Doc X, actually, that let me see more clearly how far the hypocrisy had gone." – clarsct
"I'd leave it up to Doctor X who has been a benevolent tyrant so far." – Grammatron
"Indeed you are a river to your people.
Shit. That's going to end up in your sig." – Pyrrho
"Try a twelve step program and accept Doctor X as your High Power." – asthmatic camel
"just like Doc X said." – gnome

ImageWS CHAMPIONS X4!!!! ImageNBA CHAMPIONS!! Stanley Cup!Image SB CHAMPIONS X6!!!!!! Image

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ed
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Re: What have you been watching lately

Post by ed »

Rob Lister wrote:
Sun Apr 19, 2020 10:02 pm
Anybody seen this yet

Image

I'm guessing it suks because it has 99% on rotten tomatoes.
Saw it. The ending, like that Cage/Wood (Ha!) thing, was God in a Machine and made no sense. There had breaks in the action where weather beaten merchant sailors sang sea shanties a cappala. I liked that. Made me think of you, Rob. The rest, not so much.
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ed
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Re: What have you been watching lately

Post by ed »

Fauda season 3. Israeli production about the West Bank and Gaza. I think I mentioned that I liked the fact that the actors look like normal people, no Bard Pitt's here. I find it enjoyable and good. Definitely worth a watch. Female units may find the violence off putting. If they do, ask them how they have time to comment when the sammches aren't done.
About that stereo