## What have you been watching lately

Drama queens must check their tiaras at the door.
Bruce
Posts: 20321
Joined: Wed Jun 09, 2004 11:46 pm
Title: Bruce of all Bruces
Location: Massachusetts

### Re: What have you been watching lately

When you read the Bible sections on Jesus, he sounds all sagely and wise, but when you watch an actor talk like him, he really comes off like a modern hipster douche.

Imagine Jesus ordering at Starbucks.....

Hey, what can I get you?
I want what God wants.

Oh....right. He came before you. Asked for sacrificial goat's blood and unlevened bread, so I gave him a raspberry hibiscus tea and a plain biscotti. Close enough, I guess. He didn't smite me. Anything else?
Follow me and I can make you a fisher of men.

No thanks. I'm straight, and besides I'm working a double shift. How about a smoked salmon sandwich? Oh, what name should I put on your cup?
I am the messenger. I am he who lights the way.

Right. I'll just put hipster douchebag. That will be 10.75........or gram of francinsence works too.....will have to look up the exchange rate on that.

Hey, wait. You paid for one smoked salmon and one biscotti. How did you end up with a basket if each? In fact, where did you get those baskets?

Behold, the Lord shall provide.

Wait, I need to ask my manager. I think you're supposed to pay for those. Hey! Wait! Don't walk out of here! I'll......I'll notify the Roman guards!

Let Caesar have what is his.

Damn it, Jesus!! You ought to damn well be crucified!
Such potential!

Anaxagoras
Posts: 26503
Joined: Wed Mar 19, 2008 5:45 am
Location: Yokohama/Tokyo, Japan

### Re: What have you been watching lately

New season of Better Call Saul.
A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool.
William Shakespeare

ed
Posts: 37413
Joined: Tue Jun 08, 2004 11:52 pm
Title: Not gay

### Re: What have you been watching lately

The Trust with Nick Cage and Elijah Wood.

Nick Cage has never turned down a movie deal. I got him for my kid's 12th birthday, in s clown suit. $17.35 + cake. This is another one. First scene: topless chick riding Wood (ha). When a movie tosses in tits for absolutely no reason your crap-o sensors should be on High. It is done so that, subconsciously, you are waiting for the next "showing" so you don't walk out of the theater. Seriously. You have two no-shit professional actors. You may pooh-pooh them and get all auteur like and criticize LOTR or any one of the thousands of Cage films but the fact remains that these guys can deliver a line. They are actors. They really deserve a cogent script. If nothing else, it is a question of manners. What you don't do is have them deliver a reasonable performance and then have the damn movie augur into a vortex of incoherence. Three of us watched this thing last night. When it ended I issued my review: "What the fuck was that? It sucked!". A sentiment echoed by my irritated co-watchers. Unanimous. No demur. I do understand that Nick Cage is only in it for the money but even he should have put up a restraining hand and said "WTF, guys. Can't you refrain from the blow for 15 minutes and give us an ending that is not insulting to all concerned? I really don't get it. You have two competent actors, a budget >$0, locations, a supporting cast and you can't cobble something that is film school level quality out of that? Didn't the actors note that the thing went off the rails in the final 20 minutes? Did they say anything? That leads me to suspect that the thing got fucked up in editing.

I really don't want to give a precis of the whole thing so I will briefly review the problem.

Nyarlathotep
Posts: 49191
Joined: Fri Jun 04, 2004 2:50 pm

### Re: What have you been watching lately

Spenser Confidential. A really shitty adaption of the same novels that formed the basis for Spenser for Hire.

Mark Wahlberg is no Robert Urich and Generic Black Guy (Winston Duke, according to Wikipedia) isn't worthy to lick Avery Brooks' shoes.

On the other hand the TV version of What We Do In The Shadows may actually be funnier than the original movie. And I am not saying that because the original was unfunny, I am saying that because What We Do In The Shadows is legitimately even funnier. I haven't laughed so hard in years.

ed
Posts: 37413
Joined: Tue Jun 08, 2004 11:52 pm
Title: Not gay

### Re: What have you been watching lately

Nyarlathotep wrote:
Sun Mar 08, 2020 8:55 pm
Spenser Confidential. A really shitty adaption of the same novels that formed the basis for Spenser for Hire.

Mark Wahlberg is no Robert Urich and Generic Black Guy (Winston Duke, according to Wikipedia) isn't worthy to lick Avery Brooks' shoes.

On the other hand the TV version of What We Do In The Shadows may actually be funnier than the original movie. And I am not saying that because the original was unfunny, I am saying that because What We Do In The Shadows is legitimately even funnier. I haven't laughed so hard in years.
+1 on the Whalberg thing. Also, did you notice that the music track was so high that you couldn't always hear the dialog. Mabe that was a mercy.

Also

+1 on What we do in the Shadows. Very witty

Try Hoff the Record. A pseudo biopic about David Hasselhoff. Never saw Baywatch, never say Knight Rider. There are some genuinely laugh out loud moments. Episode 1 is weak. Be patient.

ed
Posts: 37413
Joined: Tue Jun 08, 2004 11:52 pm
Title: Not gay

### Re: What have you been watching lately

Saw a horror flick yesterday. Girl on the Third Floor.

Weak, stupid. Only horror was the movie itself.

Nyarlathotep
Posts: 49191
Joined: Fri Jun 04, 2004 2:50 pm

### Re: What have you been watching lately

ed wrote:
Thu Mar 26, 2020 1:05 pm
Saw a horror flick yesterday. Girl on the Third Floor.

Weak, stupid. Only horror was the movie itself.

I could rant for a very long time (and have, at my blog) on what is wrong with modern horror. And that movie is a prime example of just about all of it.

Bruce
Posts: 20321
Joined: Wed Jun 09, 2004 11:46 pm
Title: Bruce of all Bruces
Location: Massachusetts

### Re: What have you been watching lately

ed wrote:
Thu Mar 26, 2020 1:05 pm
Saw a horror flick yesterday. Girl on the Third Floor.

Weak, stupid. Only horror was the movie itself.
That one was truly terrible. Nothing redeeming whatsoever. They didn't even try.
Such potential!

Bruce
Posts: 20321
Joined: Wed Jun 09, 2004 11:46 pm
Title: Bruce of all Bruces
Location: Massachusetts

### Re: What have you been watching lately

The Platform.

Gruesome at times, and some parts didn't quite make sense, but overall, a good socio-economic-political metaphorical commentary on the existential human condition in today's world. And it had boobs, which is always nice.
Spoiler:
Such potential!

Doctor X
Posts: 71946
Joined: Fri Jun 04, 2004 8:09 pm
Title: Collective Messiah

### Re: What have you been watching lately

Since it is still 2019 . . . enjoyed Mindhunter.

– J.D.
Mob of the Mean: Free beanie, cattle-prod and Charley Fan Club!
"Doctor X is just treating you the way he treats everyone--as subhuman crap too dumb to breathe in after you breathe out." – Don
DocX: FTW. – sparks
"Doctor X wins again." – Pyrrho
"Never sorry to make a racist Fucktard cry." – His Humble MagNIfIcence
"It was the criticisms of Doc X, actually, that let me see more clearly how far the hypocrisy had gone." – clarsct
"I'd leave it up to Doctor X who has been a benevolent tyrant so far." – Grammatron
"Indeed you are a river to your people.
Shit. That's going to end up in your sig." – Pyrrho
"Try a twelve step program and accept Doctor X as your High Power." – asthmatic camel
"just like Doc X said." – gnome

WS CHAMPIONS X4!!!! NBA CHAMPIONS!! Stanley Cup! SB CHAMPIONS X6!!!!!!

Sir
Posts: 171
Joined: Mon Jun 17, 2013 1:30 pm

### Re: What have you been watching lately

His name is Robert Paulson.
Warning: If you are reading this then this warning is for you. Every word you read of this useless fine print is another second off your life. Don't you have other things to do? Is your life so empty that you honestly can't think of a better way to spend these moments?

Bruce
Posts: 20321
Joined: Wed Jun 09, 2004 11:46 pm
Title: Bruce of all Bruces
Location: Massachusetts

### Re: What have you been watching lately

Doctor X wrote:
Fri Mar 27, 2020 5:46 am
Since it is still 2019 . . . enjoyed Mindhunter.

– J.D.
I'm trying to get into it, but I'm halfway through episode 2 and bored out of my mind. Does it start getting good soon?
Such potential!

Doctor X
Posts: 71946
Joined: Fri Jun 04, 2004 8:09 pm
Title: Collective Messiah

### Re: What have you been watching lately

You found a woman and her very young son sodomized by a broom stick unsatisfactory?

Meanwhile, on a recommendation, the Japanese Malaysian Original Virus.

The very first words of dialogue are a man picking up a phone at home as he returns from presumably a vacation with his family. The voice is a women:
Man: Hello

Woman: Sir, we have run out of ventilators in the Medical College. What do we do when more patients arrive?

Maybe . . . not a good idea?

– J.D.
Mob of the Mean: Free beanie, cattle-prod and Charley Fan Club!
"Doctor X is just treating you the way he treats everyone--as subhuman crap too dumb to breathe in after you breathe out." – Don
DocX: FTW. – sparks
"Doctor X wins again." – Pyrrho
"Never sorry to make a racist Fucktard cry." – His Humble MagNIfIcence
"It was the criticisms of Doc X, actually, that let me see more clearly how far the hypocrisy had gone." – clarsct
"I'd leave it up to Doctor X who has been a benevolent tyrant so far." – Grammatron
"Indeed you are a river to your people.
Shit. That's going to end up in your sig." – Pyrrho
"Try a twelve step program and accept Doctor X as your High Power." – asthmatic camel
"just like Doc X said." – gnome

WS CHAMPIONS X4!!!! NBA CHAMPIONS!! Stanley Cup! SB CHAMPIONS X6!!!!!!

ed
Posts: 37413
Joined: Tue Jun 08, 2004 11:52 pm
Title: Not gay

### Re: What have you been watching lately

Nyarlathotep wrote:
Fri Mar 27, 2020 2:09 am
ed wrote:
Thu Mar 26, 2020 1:05 pm
Saw a horror flick yesterday. Girl on the Third Floor.

Weak, stupid. Only horror was the movie itself.

I could rant for a very long time (and have, at my blog) on what is wrong with modern horror. And that movie is a prime example of just about all of it.
I think that modern film is largely the same generally. Remember that guy that famously said "there will never be dead air"? Well, there will never be blank screens in theaters. They have thousands, maybe tens of thousands of scripts and marginally competent actors who can turn out movies like old Italians grind out sausage. And IT DOESN'T MATTER. With international distribution, DVD sales and rentals, deals with Netflix and Amazon, the thing will make money, or at least break even. I am sure that they have formulae that tell the producers exactly how much stuff should cost. The product is generic but who cares? They can operate at the margin and still keep everyone happy.

Saw a flic lat night, damn the name escapes me (surprise) ... it was a Bruce Willis payday movie. He has a total of 5 minutes screen time and got top billing ..
Marauders was the title. Made no sense. No sense whatsoever. Go watch it and come back here and lets discuss it. Stupid waste of everything. Came out in 2016, Ebert reviewed it here https://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/marauders-2016

It is sad since when you have a budget and you have actors it seems that you should be able to create something that is >0, right?

Pyrrho
Posts: 28971
Joined: Sat Jun 05, 2004 2:17 am
Title: Man in Black
Location: Division 6

### Re: What have you been watching lately

The flash of light you saw in the sky was not a UFO. Swamp gas from a weather balloon was trapped in a thermal pocket and reflected the light from Venus.

Nyarlathotep
Posts: 49191
Joined: Fri Jun 04, 2004 2:50 pm

### Re: What have you been watching lately

Okay, my newest obsession is YouTube videos by Caitlin Doughty, a rmortician who is (I must say) rather easy on the eyeballs. Apparently she does a lot of them talking about the funeral business but the ones I really like are the ones that focus on weird deaths, iconic corpses (i.e. Evita Peron) and strange funeral practices. Here are a couple for reference.