Winter is coming

Drama queens must check their tiaras at the door.
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Doctor X
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Re: Winter is coming

Post by Doctor X » Mon May 06, 2019 4:37 pm

Well, if you are a hero and have paid for your Plot Armor, then the first shot always strikes near your head to warn you that someone wants to kill you.

It then takes that someone five minutes to reload so you can find cover, your own weapon, and maybe even make a witty comment.

cept's comment on that--"why not just blow her out of the sky?"--and why Cersi does not just destroy Danny and Her Merry Band right then and there pretty much ends it. Even though I liked the episode for mindless fun, I kept wondering why would a woman, who blew up half the city, killing thousands, including Anne Boleyn [Stop that.--Ed.], who blames all of them for the deaths of her children, who engineered the mass-slaughter of anyone vaguely looking like a Baratheon . . .

. . .

. . . not just kill them?

There is a great line from the Japanese Original Blackadder where the then Stupid Edmund gives a long and complicated plan to which one of his henchmen--played by the elder Greyjoy actually!--just calmly asks, "Why don't we just . . . kill them?"

It is not like they had one or two--they had a shitload of the weapons.

Up there with "don't waste firing on an empty escape pod," "don't worry about opening this box," "hey, this looks like an interesting video tape," was Robert Baratheon not wanting to spend the money to hire the Faceless Men to take out Danny way back. Thank you Littlefinger for wasting money. Instead they hire the cheaper and incompetent "Sorrowful Men?" You know why they are called that, Bob? Because they are sorrowfully incompetent! Kill her, story is over.

Same with this.

And what was Cersi hoping for "up North?" Like, them all dying.

So here is Dannykins. Well in range. Standing there. No dragon.

"Oh but the Unsullied will cover her with their shields!"

Against weapons that penetrate ships? And they cannot reload?

This is up there with Camp Batman where Joker spends quite more than tree fiddy to construct a quicksand birthday cake death trap . . . and then does not wait around to watch. Or remove the utility belt, or, as one critic on Bond villains put is, "Just shoot him in the face!"

In the snow.

--J.D.
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Giz
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Re: Winter is coming

Post by Giz » Mon May 06, 2019 5:49 pm

Doctor X wrote:
Mon May 06, 2019 4:37 pm



"Oh but the Unsullied will cover her with their shields!"

Against weapons that penetrate ships? And they cannot reload?

To be fair, they are probably unfamiliar with the technical abilities of shields. I can’t begin to list the battles in GoT where people should have been using shields and yet didn’t.

So when the unsullied turn up “curses, they’re interposing their shields, their unstoppable!” it must be a shock.

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Re: Winter is coming

Post by gnome » Mon May 06, 2019 7:19 pm

Could it be reduced to a poor shooting choice, having Dany's forces far too close? Realistically the same scene could have played out with them out of regular arrow range. The scorpions would proabably still be in range, but without large targets to shoot at, if the troops on the ground spread out while retreating, they're not going to kill very many for how much ammo they use. Scorpion ammo seems like it would probably be best saved for dragons and ships.
"If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight! Sun Tzu said that, and I'd say he knows a little bit more about fighting than you do, pal, because he invented it, and then he perfected it so that no living man could best him in the ring of honor. Then, he used his fight money to buy two of every animal on earth, and then he herded them onto a boat, and then he beat the crap out of every single one. And from that day forward any time a bunch of animals are together in one place it's called a zoo! (Beat) Unless it's a farm!"
--Soldier, TF2

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ceptimus
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Re: Winter is coming

Post by ceptimus » Mon May 06, 2019 10:16 pm

Tyrion was in regular arrow range though I guess it would have meant sacrificing Quyburn.

Given that Cerci's main objective is killing Dani, she could have ordered all scorpions fire at that one target. You saw how accurate the scorpions were against distant ships and dragons.

Anyway, the current plot lines are so ridiculous I don't know why I'm even bothering to consider what would be effective strategies - we're long past that stage now.

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Re: Winter is coming

Post by gnome » Mon May 06, 2019 10:40 pm

ceptimus wrote:
Mon May 06, 2019 10:16 pm
Tyrion was in regular arrow range though I guess it would have meant sacrificing Quyburn.

Given that Cerci's main objective is killing Dani, she could have ordered all scorpions fire at that one target. You saw how accurate the scorpions were against distant ships and dragons.

Anyway, the current plot lines are so ridiculous I don't know why I'm even bothering to consider what would be effective strategies - we're long past that stage now.
The ships were large, unmoving targets. The dragon hits were frankly one of the unrealistic parts we're discussing, and also large besides. So having them not reliable for use on human targets would be MORE sane, not less. I'm suggesting most of the "why didn't she attack" could be blunted if they were decently further away.
"If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight! Sun Tzu said that, and I'd say he knows a little bit more about fighting than you do, pal, because he invented it, and then he perfected it so that no living man could best him in the ring of honor. Then, he used his fight money to buy two of every animal on earth, and then he herded them onto a boat, and then he beat the crap out of every single one. And from that day forward any time a bunch of animals are together in one place it's called a zoo! (Beat) Unless it's a farm!"
--Soldier, TF2

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Re: Winter is coming

Post by Grammatron » Mon May 06, 2019 11:08 pm

gnome wrote:
Mon May 06, 2019 7:19 pm
Could it be reduced to a poor shooting choice, having Dany's forces far too close?
This is already way down on the turtle bad decisions pole.

I like the post-great-war intrigue and heroes not always being right for every job (like ruling). The writers for this and previous season are just unable to tell that story well.

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Re: Winter is coming

Post by Doctor X » Mon May 06, 2019 11:14 pm

They could attach green fire to the arrows and cook the entire party.

"But Danny the fire resistor!!!"

Then the Mountain wades through the ashes and . . . STABS HER IN THE FACE!

--J.D.
Mob of the Mean: Free beanie, cattle-prod and Charley Fan Club!
"Doctor X is just treating you the way he treats everyone--as subhuman crap too dumb to breathe in after you breathe out."--Don
DocX: FTW.--sparks
"Doctor X wins again."--Pyrrho
"Never sorry to make a racist Fucktard cry."--His Humble MagNIfIcence
"It was the criticisms of Doc X, actually, that let me see more clearly how far the hypocrisy had gone."--clarsct
"I'd leave it up to Doctor X who has been a benevolent tyrant so far."--Grammatron
"Indeed you are a river to your people.
Shit. That's going to end up in your sig."--Pyrrho
"Try a twelve step program and accept Doctor X as your High Power."--asthmatic camel
"just like Doc X said." --gnome

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Giz
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Re: Winter is coming

Post by Giz » Mon May 06, 2019 11:41 pm

Doctor X wrote:
Mon May 06, 2019 11:14 pm
They could attach green fire to the arrows and cook the entire party.

"But Danny the fire resistor!!!"

Then the Mountain wades through the ashes and . . . STABS HER IN THE FACE!

--J.D.
Then the mountain takes off her mask/face and it was ayra!!! ?!

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Re: Winter is coming

Post by Pyrrho » Tue May 07, 2019 12:35 am

Spoiler:
Image
The flash of light you saw in the sky was not a UFO. Swamp gas from a weather balloon was trapped in a thermal pocket and reflected the light from Venus.

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Re: Winter is coming

Post by Doctor X » Tue May 07, 2019 1:55 am

Giz wrote:
Mon May 06, 2019 11:41 pm
and it was ayra!!! ?!
John Knows Nothing: ARYA?!!

Arya: Special shoes.

--J.D.
Mob of the Mean: Free beanie, cattle-prod and Charley Fan Club!
"Doctor X is just treating you the way he treats everyone--as subhuman crap too dumb to breathe in after you breathe out."--Don
DocX: FTW.--sparks
"Doctor X wins again."--Pyrrho
"Never sorry to make a racist Fucktard cry."--His Humble MagNIfIcence
"It was the criticisms of Doc X, actually, that let me see more clearly how far the hypocrisy had gone."--clarsct
"I'd leave it up to Doctor X who has been a benevolent tyrant so far."--Grammatron
"Indeed you are a river to your people.
Shit. That's going to end up in your sig."--Pyrrho
"Try a twelve step program and accept Doctor X as your High Power."--asthmatic camel
"just like Doc X said." --gnome

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Re: Winter is coming

Post by Doctor X » Tue May 07, 2019 5:32 am

Image

--J.D.
Mob of the Mean: Free beanie, cattle-prod and Charley Fan Club!
"Doctor X is just treating you the way he treats everyone--as subhuman crap too dumb to breathe in after you breathe out."--Don
DocX: FTW.--sparks
"Doctor X wins again."--Pyrrho
"Never sorry to make a racist Fucktard cry."--His Humble MagNIfIcence
"It was the criticisms of Doc X, actually, that let me see more clearly how far the hypocrisy had gone."--clarsct
"I'd leave it up to Doctor X who has been a benevolent tyrant so far."--Grammatron
"Indeed you are a river to your people.
Shit. That's going to end up in your sig."--Pyrrho
"Try a twelve step program and accept Doctor X as your High Power."--asthmatic camel
"just like Doc X said." --gnome

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Re: Winter is coming

Post by Grammatron » Tue May 07, 2019 4:46 pm

Upon further thinking, the writers of the TV show should be commended. After all, they have subverted one of the most overused trops in Fantasy and Scifi: The Allegory of the Cave. But, unlike all the other stories, they chose to reverse it!

We started off in a very beautiful and detailed world, full of color and wonder. Then slowly we were dragged into the cave, chained and forced to watch the rest as mere shadows. We can still make out the plot but all the detail is just an old and fading dream.

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Re: Winter is coming

Post by Doctor X » Tue May 07, 2019 5:29 pm

Taken from a world of detail and dragged into a dark cave?

I can think of a joke about that.

--J.D.

P.S. Almost linked a long video where Talking Head noted that D&D's conscious attempt to do the "unexpected" ruined Jon Snow's character arc. He has basically "done nothing" to oversimplify.
Mob of the Mean: Free beanie, cattle-prod and Charley Fan Club!
"Doctor X is just treating you the way he treats everyone--as subhuman crap too dumb to breathe in after you breathe out."--Don
DocX: FTW.--sparks
"Doctor X wins again."--Pyrrho
"Never sorry to make a racist Fucktard cry."--His Humble MagNIfIcence
"It was the criticisms of Doc X, actually, that let me see more clearly how far the hypocrisy had gone."--clarsct
"I'd leave it up to Doctor X who has been a benevolent tyrant so far."--Grammatron
"Indeed you are a river to your people.
Shit. That's going to end up in your sig."--Pyrrho
"Try a twelve step program and accept Doctor X as your High Power."--asthmatic camel
"just like Doc X said." --gnome

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Re: Winter is coming

Post by Grammatron » Tue May 07, 2019 6:32 pm

Funny but may be spoiler-y
Spoiler:


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Re: Winter is coming

Post by gnome » Tue May 07, 2019 9:09 pm

Spoiler:
I like, thematically, Euron constantly throwing a wrench into the works. I just wish it was done with a more believable setup and execution, instead of via weapons that are unrealistically overpowered for how they are shown or described, and being undetected because the plot demands it, instead of actually using some form of stealth or trickery. I WANTED Dany to be tricked, but I wanted to see the trick and believe it and be impressed by it, instead of "She's either blind and stupid or a wizard did it."
Smart person outwits smart person = Fun
Annoying person outwits person who is carrying an idiot ball = not fun
"If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight! Sun Tzu said that, and I'd say he knows a little bit more about fighting than you do, pal, because he invented it, and then he perfected it so that no living man could best him in the ring of honor. Then, he used his fight money to buy two of every animal on earth, and then he herded them onto a boat, and then he beat the crap out of every single one. And from that day forward any time a bunch of animals are together in one place it's called a zoo! (Beat) Unless it's a farm!"
--Soldier, TF2

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Re: Winter is coming

Post by Anaxagoras » Wed May 08, 2019 3:12 am

Grammatron wrote:
Tue May 07, 2019 6:32 pm
Funny but may be spoiler-y
Spoiler:

I like how they call Jimmy Kimmel "Conan". Nice touch. :D
A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool.
William Shakespeare

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Re: Winter is coming

Post by Doctor X » Wed May 08, 2019 6:16 am

Jimmy Kimmel.

The Scotty Pippin of comedy.

--J.D.
Mob of the Mean: Free beanie, cattle-prod and Charley Fan Club!
"Doctor X is just treating you the way he treats everyone--as subhuman crap too dumb to breathe in after you breathe out."--Don
DocX: FTW.--sparks
"Doctor X wins again."--Pyrrho
"Never sorry to make a racist Fucktard cry."--His Humble MagNIfIcence
"It was the criticisms of Doc X, actually, that let me see more clearly how far the hypocrisy had gone."--clarsct
"I'd leave it up to Doctor X who has been a benevolent tyrant so far."--Grammatron
"Indeed you are a river to your people.
Shit. That's going to end up in your sig."--Pyrrho
"Try a twelve step program and accept Doctor X as your High Power."--asthmatic camel
"just like Doc X said." --gnome

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Re: Winter is coming

Post by Grammatron » Wed May 08, 2019 8:56 pm

It's high-quality shitposting so it was worthy of our forum.

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Re: Winter is coming

Post by Grammatron » Mon May 13, 2019 4:48 am

Huh. Well, ok then.

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Re: Winter is coming

Post by Doctor X » Mon May 13, 2019 12:27 pm

Yeah . . . um.
Point the First: So, they can take down a dragon with one scorpion or one frozen spear-thingy.

Yet you cannot direct all of them at it?

Point the Second: Arya will kill Danny. Funny the . . . not . . . good Gram's Mom being dragged by Arya was a character in this season's Line of Duty. So the fact she was "focused on" made me wonder if she was a "Faceless Girl" or something.

Nope.

Just crispy.
--J.D.
Mob of the Mean: Free beanie, cattle-prod and Charley Fan Club!
"Doctor X is just treating you the way he treats everyone--as subhuman crap too dumb to breathe in after you breathe out."--Don
DocX: FTW.--sparks
"Doctor X wins again."--Pyrrho
"Never sorry to make a racist Fucktard cry."--His Humble MagNIfIcence
"It was the criticisms of Doc X, actually, that let me see more clearly how far the hypocrisy had gone."--clarsct
"I'd leave it up to Doctor X who has been a benevolent tyrant so far."--Grammatron
"Indeed you are a river to your people.
Shit. That's going to end up in your sig."--Pyrrho
"Try a twelve step program and accept Doctor X as your High Power."--asthmatic camel
"just like Doc X said." --gnome

ImageWS CHAMPIONS X4!!!! ImageNBA CHAMPIONS!! Stanley Cup!Image SB CHAMPIONS X6!!!!!! Image