Some crappy movies that reared their ugly head

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ed
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Some crappy movies that reared their ugly head

Post by ed » Mon Feb 25, 2019 1:23 pm

and were promptly put down and sunk in the deeps of lake ed
\

Overlord: how can I begin to describe the dreck that is Overlord.
With only hours until D-Day, a team of American paratroopers drop into Nazi-occupied France to carry out a mission that's crucial to the invasion's success. Tasked with destroying a radio transmitter atop a fortified church, the desperate soldiers join forces with a young French villager to penetrate the walls and take down the tower. But, in a mysterious Nazi lab beneath the church, the outnumbered G.I.s come face-to-face with enemies unlike any the world has ever seen. From producer J.J. Abrams, Overlord is a thrilling, pulse-pounding action adventure with a twist.
A few oddities that set my teeth on edge from the gitgo. Main character is a black dude, paratrooper with the 101 Airborne. Armed forces were not integrated till 44(?) by Truman. So right away my SJW antenni are up. Second they show the paratroopers jumping with M1 Garand rifles. These fuckers weigh 100 lbs or more, they didn't use them. So right away my eyes are rolling.

On the positive, the trip to the jump point in the plane (rereading that I guess it would have to be a plane, right?) was harrowing. They used an effect that I have seen in a couple of places that is effective: the bullets rip thru and into the target in a very realistic way. Saw the same thing in Heartbreak Ridge. Any way effects <> a watchable movie, usually. And the story here is dumb, the acting is weak, the characters are cardboard, the length is stem-winding, nighttime movies make me think they are hiding something, effects-wise.

If you must, pirate it or wait till it's free. DO NOT PAY!!!!!
Didn't finish it. Watched for over an hour that was because my incredulity at it's awfulness paralyzed me.



Adult Life Skills
Anna is stuck: she's approaching 30, living like a hermit in her mum's garden shed and wondering why the suffragettes ever bothered. She spends her days making videos using her thumbs as actors - thumbs that bicker about things like whether Yogi Bear is a moral or existential nihilist. But Anna doesn't show these videos to anyone and no one knows what they are for. A week before her birthday her Mum serves her an ultimatum - she needs to move out of the shed, get a haircut that doesn't put her gender in question and stop dressing like a homeless teenager. Naturally, Anna tells her Mum to "back the f-off". However, when her school friend comes to visit, Anna's self-imposed isolation becomes impossible to maintain. Soon she is entangled with a troubled eight year old boy obsessed with Westerns, and the local estate agent whose awkward interpersonal skills continually undermine his attempts to seduce her.
Not funny, meanders, have no idea what the fuck was going on.
Didn't finish it. Watched for a half hour maybe and that was because it's soporific qualities kept making me doze off.

Just avoid this one. Homesman level boring.

Antiquities
After his father's death, Walt moves to his dad's hometown to learn more about who his father was. He accepts a job at a local antique mall where he's introduced to the quirky world in which his dad grew up. There, Walt learns not only about his father, but a good bit about himself.
Re-read the first sentence of the summary:
After his father's death, Walt ... accepts a job at a local antique mall
That is really the movie. This is Marvel sequel #37 level boring. I really can't explain what was going on or who the characters were. Oh ... there was one guy who has a space in the mall (which is like a big open warehouse) that is his "store". He has it decorated with Christmas stuff, presumably from his childhood. He won't sell anything and sits there all day. See... he recreated his childhood home!!! No idea what the denouement was. The quy was too boring to even warrant a beating. Hell, he'd put paid thugs to sleep.

Not sure how long I lasted, maybe 30 minutes? A bit more?

Do not buy, rent, pirate, watch, come into contact with.
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