Shitty Watching: A Warning Thread

Drama queens must check their tiaras at the door.
User avatar
ed
Posts: 35588
Joined: Tue Jun 08, 2004 11:52 pm
Title: The Hero of Sukhbataar

Shitty Watching: A Warning Thread

Post by ed » Mon Jul 08, 2019 10:42 am

This is reserved for the objectively really shitty viewing choices out there. A word or two of explanation is desirable.

The scale goes from "Shitty" to "Really, really, really shitty".
Meaning of ratings:

Shitty: Might be able to sit thru. Being stoned a plus. Plot sorta derivative, acting is meh. Slasher flicks often fall into this

Really shitty: Might stay to the end though accompanied by frequent bathroom breaks. Often ernest efforts gone wrong. Often flicks that cast one or two well known actors with the thought that writing and directing will not then be needed.

Really really Shitty: Can not finish. No recognizable actors, writers associated with this level of crap. Really boring. Makes you want to overeat and play games on your phone. The sort of flick that aficionados of a genre will justify as "art" or some such in spite of the reek.
Quote: "It is really quite brilliant. Of course if you haven't read Proust in the original it probably went over your head".
n.b. the new ed, the one comfortable in his skin and unwilling to suffer fools, would administer a vigorous nut-kink to anyone who would say that.

Really really really Shitty: Can not pass the 7 minutes of watching rule. Often vanity projects for people who should have known better. Often simply paydays for washed up stars. Often bastardizations of works that might have merit. Nothing redeeming. Stupid and badly acted. Often vile subject matter, gratuitousness sex and violence scenes. The embarrassment of the actors is visible


So, for example, The Homesman <spit> would, IMHO, be "Really shitty"
This dreck would be Really, really, really shitty
[media]https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com ... SX300_.jpg[/media]

Shitty: The Last Lovecraft: The Relic of Cthulhu. Derivative, Plot made up each morning of shooting.

Really Shitty: Willed To Kill: Made for TV (how is it that you can always tell?) Absurd plot. Cannot sit to end

Shitty: The Vanishing: Watched half. Might watch the end. Takes place on a Scottish Island, with dialect, largely at night.

RRRShitty: Blood & Treasure Season 1: Wow. Every cliche in the book in the first 15 minutes. That is all I gave it.

Shitty: Scottish Mussel. Ernest. About stealing Scottish pearl producing mussels. Gave up.

RRRShitty: Some Guy Who Kills People. Stupidly violent and pointless. 10 minutes, maybe.
Wenn ich Kultur höre, entsichere ich meinen Browning!

User avatar
Bruce
Posts: 20123
Joined: Wed Jun 09, 2004 11:46 pm
Title: Bruce of all Bruces
Location: Massachusetts

Re: Shitty Watching: A Warning Thread

Post by Bruce » Tue Jul 09, 2019 9:44 pm

This is what retirement is like? You make me sad, ed. :cry:
Such potential!

User avatar
ed
Posts: 35588
Joined: Tue Jun 08, 2004 11:52 pm
Title: The Hero of Sukhbataar

Re: Shitty Watching: A Warning Thread

Post by ed » Tue Jul 09, 2019 10:11 pm

I'm not really retired. We manufacture stuff and sell it on the net and thru shows and offshore.

I am SUPPOSED to be retired. That is different.
Wenn ich Kultur höre, entsichere ich meinen Browning!

User avatar
Nyarlathotep
Posts: 48767
Joined: Fri Jun 04, 2004 2:50 pm

Re: Shitty Watching: A Warning Thread

Post by Nyarlathotep » Sat Aug 17, 2019 6:05 am

Have you ever seen a movie that was so bad that you looked around and noticed someone on their cell phone and, rather than getting mad, you decided that you didn't really blame them? I have. 47 Meters Down Uncaged (AKA Four Amateur Cave Divers and a Shark) was that movie.

The movie played a real bait and switch on me too. Every time the dipshit protagonists checked their air tanks and got closer to zero I felt a little surge of relief because I figured that once they hit zero, the movie would be over one way or another. But nooooooooooo, they found a way to milk 15 more minutes of my time out of the movie after that point.

This one was a mixed decision as my son really liked it (but he has a soft spot for shark movies) and Chani found it enjoyable despite its flaws. But I give it no stars and may God have mercy on its soul. Really really shitty. The only thing that saves it from really really really shitty is that they didn't kill the sharks and the sharks were the only likable characters in the film.
The Luggage said nothing, but louder this time.

User avatar
ed
Posts: 35588
Joined: Tue Jun 08, 2004 11:52 pm
Title: The Hero of Sukhbataar

Re: Shitty Watching: A Warning Thread

Post by ed » Sat Aug 17, 2019 11:49 am

Almost started that one. Thanks for the warning.

I've sorta lost track of the dreck.
Wenn ich Kultur höre, entsichere ich meinen Browning!

User avatar
Abdul Alhazred
Posts: 76803
Joined: Mon Jun 07, 2004 1:33 pm
Title: Yes, that one.
Location: Chicago

Re: Shitty Watching: A Warning Thread

Post by Abdul Alhazred » Sat Aug 17, 2019 11:56 am

Anything produced in the 21st century.
Anything "funny" from the 1990s.

However, some "serious dramas" of the 1990s are funny. :oldman:
Image "If I turn in a sicko, will I get a reward?"

"Yes! A BIG REWARD!" ====> Click here to turn in a sicko
The arc of the moral universe bends towards chaos.
People who believe God or History are on their side provide the chaos.