Sorry to Make You Cry XVI

[Doctor X]

Double check your scores! I have not added t3h Bonus System Time Pointz other than noting that "Angle Eyes" got fired before Brack Friday [Monday. – Ed.].

– J.D.

[Anaxagoras]

Am I crazy or are they doing the playoffs differently than in previous years?

7 teams in each conference made the playoffs apparently and only 1 team per conference gets a bye week.

Used to be 6 teams per conference and 2 teams had a bye week.

[Doctor X]

You probably were not paying attention since you were outside of the United States but the two brain cells in Roger the Dodger's calvarium bumped into one another and spat out this idea "because Covid!"

All Pats Fanboy aside, I do not know if I like it or not. I do not like the capriciousness of it all. As Jerome Wiggens – Patriot who caught critical balls in the Snow Bowl and subsequent Super Bowl – quipped after the game, if the NFL were forced to cancel a game and then add teams, "there is a path to the playoffs!"

– J.D.

[Anaxagoras]

Ah, come to think of it, baseball changed their playoff format too this year, but they always seem to want to add more teams and more games to the playoffs. Which I suppose is only to be expected.

In the olden days, if you didn't win a pennant in the regular season, your season was over. The World Series was the only postseason there was. Only two teams had a postseason.

In football I guess the idea is to add two additional playoff games, because more games equals more money.

I don't see any logic to adding games because of Covid though. If anything that would argue against adding games.

[Doctor X]

Division Winners	Team	Bonus	WC	Division	Conference	Wins	TOTAL
AFC East	Swills	4	2			14	20
AFC North	Squealers	4				12	16
AFC South	Tits	4				11	15
AFC West	Queefs	4	X			14	18
NFC East	Name Withheld	4				7	11
NFC North	Fudge Packers	4	X			13	17
NFC South	Faints	4	2			13	19
NFC West	Seamen	4				13	17
Wild Card Winners	Team	Bonus	WC	Division	Conference	Wins	TOTAL
AFC I	Crows	2	2			12	16
AFC II	Shits	2	2			12	16
AFC III	Dolts	2				11	13
NFC I	Lambs	2	2			11	15
NFC II	DaBears	2				8	10
NFC III	Brady's Gay	2	2			12	16
Conference Loser	Team	Points	Wins	TOTAL
AFC Loser	Fish	2.5	10	12.5
NFC Loser	Tards	2.5	8	10.5

[Doctor X]

I don't see any logic to adding games because of Covid though. If anything that would argue against adding games.

"Logic" and "NFL," particularly with this commissioner?



The answer, she's a clear 'ne:



– J.D.

P.S. Everyone check your scores. Rumors have it that Radrick has held back millions, tremendous, millions of votes points! In fact, Gram is winning by a landslide. So sad. Greatest fraud in our history!

[Doctor X]

Wild Card Standings:

201.5 Radrick Atl (4), Hou (4), ItR (20), NE (7), Ind (13), Buf (17), Ten (15), MP (2), Bal (13), Sea (16), LV (8), TB (13), Az (8), Cle (13), NO (16), LAR (12), KC (18)

168.5 Anaxagoras Hou (4), NE (7), LV (8), Was (11), ItR (12), LAC (7), Phi (4.5), Chi (10), Buf (17), MP (4), Bal (13), SF (6), Pit (16), NO (16), Ten (15), KC (18)
166 Enchantress Hou (4), Den (5), LV (8), ItR (10), NE (7), MP (5), Buf (17), Chi (10), SF (6), Sea (16), Bal (13), Pit (16), NO (16), Ten (15), KC (18)
161 gnome Dal (6), NO (16), NE (7), Buf (17), Cle (13), Ten (15), MP (4), Sea (16), LV (8), TB (13), Pit (16), LAR (12), KC (18)

148.5 Doctor X TB (13), LV (8), NE (7), Buf (17), Ten (15), MP (4), Ind (13), Bal (13), Mia (10), NO (16), LAR (12), KC (18)
144.5 DJ TB (13), NE (7), Chi (10), Cle (13), Ten (15), Buf (17), LV (8), Ind (13), MP (4), Mia (10), NO (16), Pit (16)

137 izittrue NE (7), Dal (6), Cle (13), Chi (10), Sea (16), Buf (17), Az (8), TB (13), MP (4), Mia (10), NO (16), LAR (12)

100.5 Grammatron Cle (13), Was (11), NYJ (2), Sea (16), Az (8), NE (7), MP (1), NO (16), ItR (5), KC (18)

98 Pyrrho Hou (4), LV (8), ItR (10), Bal (13), Sea (16), Buf (17), MP (2), LAR (12), Pit (16)

40 Evolver TB (13), Ind (13), Cle (13), MP (1)

7 Tiosylanyl NE (7)




As always, check my math . . . yes, you may use your fingers. . . .



Radrick tells Anaxagoras, "Come on! Do it properly!"





– J. "it's One from the Heart!" D.

[Pyrrho]

Taking the Shits this week here, Boss.

[DJ]

The lambs, please.

[Grammatron]

Dolts

[Doctor X]

Current Wild Card Pickies:

Loser	Team	Result
His Humble MagNIfIcence	Shits
Anaxagoras	Dolts
gnome	Crows
Pyrrho	Shits
Enchantress	Shits
izittrue	Dolts
Radrick	Da Bears
Grammatron	Dolts
DJ	Lambs

*NFL Schedule

– J.D.

[izittrue]

Dolts to lose

[gnome]

Going for the Birbs from Baltimore to lose

[Doctor X]

Division Round Standings:

231.5 Radrick Atl (4), Hou (4), ItR (20), NE (7), Ind (13), Buf (20), Ten (15), MP (3), Bal (16), Sea (16), LV (8), TB (16), Az (8), Cle (16), NO (16), LAR (15), KC (18), Chi (8)

190.5 Anaxagoras Hou (4), NE (7), LV (8), Was (11), ItR (14), LAC (7), Phi (4.5), Chi (10), Buf (20), MP (4), Bal (16), SF (6), Pit (16), NO (16), Ten (15), KC (18), Ind (11)

180 gnome Dal (6), NO (16), NE (7), Buf (20), Cle (16), Ten (15), MP (5), Sea (16), LV (8), TB (16), Pit (16), LAR (15), KC (18)

175 Enchantress Hou (4), Den (5), LV (8), ItR (10), NE (7), MP (5), Buf (20), Chi (10), SF (6), Sea (16), Bal (16), Pit (16), NO (16), Ten (15), KC (18)

168 izittrue NE (7), Dal (6), Cle (16), Chi (10), Sea (16), Buf (20), Az (8), TB (16), MP (5), Mia (10), NO (16), LAR (15), Ind (11)
163.5 Doctor X TB (16), LV (8), NE (7), Buf (20), Ten (15), MP (4), Ind (13), Bal (16), Mia (10), NO (16), LAR (15), KC (18)
160.5 DJ TB (16), NE (7), Chi (10), Cle (16), Ten (15), Buf (20), LV (8), Ind (13), MP (5), Mia (10), NO (16), Pit (16)

121.5 Grammatron Cle (16), Was (11), NYJ (2), Sea (16), Az (8), NE (7), MP (2), NO (16), ItR (5), KC (18), Ind (11)

107 Pyrrho Hou (4), LV (8), ItR (10), Bal (16), Sea (16), Buf (20), MP (2), LAR (15), Pit (16)

50 Evolver TB (16), Ind (13), Cle (16), MP (2)

7 Tiosylanyl NE (7)


As always, check my math . . . yes, you may use your fingers. . . .



Radrick tells Anaxagoras, "SPEAK UP!"





– J. "Oh it's the Meek! 'Bless'd are the Meek! Oh That's Nice, isn't it! 'Cause They have a Hell of a Time!" D.

[izittrue]

How fuking shitty are da bears?? Fuk fuk fuk. At least the game is on Nickelodeon.

[Doctor X]

They are only losing by 4 . . . oh wait.

– J.D.

[Doctor X]

– J.D.

[Doctor X]

– J. "So You Believe You're a Preserved Moose?" D.

[Pyrrho]

Old saying in Cleveland: "Never bet against the Browns." I think it dates back to the Kardiac Kids days under Sam Rutigliano.

[Doctor X]

Have to give him credit for posting this based on his long live cast during the game. He kept going for hours after to take it from Steeler haters.



– J.D.

[Pyrrho]

Queefs for me this week...

[gnome]

Ravens to lose

(but Go Rams!)

[Grammatron]

Brady's Gay to lose

[Doctor X]

From the Desk of Radrick– the Neither Merciful nor Compassionate

When I pulled said Steeler fan's head out of the oven, and reminded him that he is currently kicking our collective asses so hard we can see Anax's Mom's Teeth [What? – Ed.] . . . work with me here . . . he whined something about not being able to hike a ball and, "great, I don't want to have to pick the Packers."

I mused that, even if he had to do that, and the Packers – shudder – win a the Super Bowl, it would be very, very hard for Anax or anyone to catch up.

So he suggested something . . . which I will call "Radrick's Compassionate Gloating Gamble," the details of which I am still thinking about since, math.

Something like:

• 1. You can pick a team you already have.
  2. If you "win" as in they lose you only get their total season or maybe season + post-season wins.
  3. If you "lose" as in they win you lose 10 or 20 points or something that really hurts.
  4. Shemp's Mom
  5. Profit.

The inspiration for this was my describing the reasons for the "Surrender" I created back in 2007 – SHUT UP! – when it seemed unfair to me that everyone had to pick the Pats and give me t3h M34n13 POINTZ and all of that.

This is NOT what it is. It is just a "working idea." If people are for it – and let me all warn you, his taste in film will make you long for A Certain Scientific Railgun – I am looking at YOUr Waifu, Anax! – then let me know, give ideas for the penalty, risk, and all of that.

– J.D.

[DJ]

Fudge Packers

[gnome]

I might need some scenarios to evaluate the idea.

If you pick a team you already have, you were already going to get their points--would this double them up or something?

[Doctor X]

To your second question, basically. It would be like the "Gambling Bonus" where you already have all the teams so you want to gamble getting like 10 points for picking a team you already have.

So in this case, say Radrick does not want to pick GB so he picks Cle to lose. Cleveland loses, he gets whatever their total season or season + post season wins depending on what people decide. I suppose one could make it a defined number like 10 or 15 or even ELEVNTY1.

But . . . oh noes!! Cleveland wins. We subtract 10, 15, ELEVENTY!!!, or 20 points from his current total. If THAT happens, and some of you bottom feeders win, you can effectively create a 20 to 30 point turn around.

I have not run the numbers – because math – but even if he picked GB to the SB and GB wins, others are going to be in the same boat. They cannot NOT pick GB either since, Heavens to Betsy, no one has GB! Most are going to have the opponents so it is not like you lot can pick teams all the way to the SB and potentially make up 30+ points.

Or maybe you like seeing scenes from the Twilight movies. . . .

– J.D.

[gnome]

I like the idea of a late game element that raises the stakes--so that the leader has an advantage but less likely to be hopelessly running away with it.

I'm not sure this one rings with me, but it wouldn't upset me either. My mind still circles around some of the "final jeapordy" options discussed last year.

[Doctor X]

Feel free to remind me.

– J.D.

[izittrue]

As long as itz rigged so I win.
In the jinx
Ok crows to lose to bills.

[Anaxagoras]

I'm fine with that rule change. Not like I have a chance otherwise.
As for what you lose if they win, it could be the number of points you would have won. I.e., 12 points if the team has 12 wins.

I haven't actually sat down and done the math, but it seems unlikely that anyone else could catch up at this point with the rules just as they are.

[Doctor X]

Well, there is no rush. The whole point of this is to "have fun," "celebrate my, humble, magNIfIcence," and something about Your Mom. However, I do not want to tip the scales too far so that it actually punishes someone for picking well every week.

I TRIUMPHED last year by doing that. It may seem that radrick built an insurmountable lead with his picks of Houston and Atlanta, but in reality he pretty much won every week. So if you remove that 20 points, it makes it "interesting," but it is not like everyone is within 5 points or anything like that.

Whilst losers think about it:



– J.D.

[gnome]

Feel free to remind me.

– J.D.

An idea was floated that in the last round people could gamble up to a certain number of points on their choice--what brings me in circles is that it usually winds up either irrelevant (not enough to catch up) or boring (outcome basically a coin toss).

There's no advantage to winning by a greater amount, and the ones behind first have nothing to lose. We have our favorites but in general difficult to predict the Super Bowl winner as a matter of skill. I see how the rule might work but not really how it would make the game more fun in the end.

[Doctor X]

Right, based on such opinions private and public, I have determined that this game has not unfolded necessarily to my advantage one can do the following:

• 1. Declare the Radrick's Compassionate Gloating Gamble and pick a team you already have.
  2. If that team loses, one gets their TOTAL Wins + Bonuses.
  3. If that team wins, one loses twice that same amount.

Feel free to comment, change picks, or whatever.

– J.D.

[DJ]

I’d like to officially wimp out and change my pick to the lambs.

[gnome]

Right, based on such opinions private and public, I have determined that this game has not unfolded necessarily to my advantage one can do the following:

• 1. Declare the Radrick's Compassionate Gloating Gamble and pick a team you already have.
  2. If that team loses, one gets their TOTAL Wins + Bonuses.
  3. If that team wins, one loses twice that same amount.

Feel free to comment, change picks, or whatever.

– J.D.

In coming years would this option be available at any time during the year, or only once playoffs start?

[Doctor X]

I do not know, frankly. I am not sure how well this will work out, but it is something we can certainly consider.

Like the NFC East, we do not want someone to win this thing with negative points!

– J.D.

[gnome]

[Doctor X]

– J.D.

[DJ]

I changed my pick from the packers to the lambs which isn’t reflected above.