More Crushing Disappointment for Cleveland

[Doctor X]

No . . . we are not talking about Mike "Who is He Again?" Lowell hitting a two-run home run BEFORE the fans in the stands finished giving him a standing ovation.

Shaq may be leaving the Cavs to play for the Celtics.

--J.D.

P.S. No truth to the rumor that Danny Ainge is in talks with Kareem.

[Grammatron]

Because he did such a stellar job last season.

[RCC]

He could have his uses if he really wants to contribute and realizes he's a role player at best. Just using him for six crushing fouls per game is worth the veteran minimum and a roster spot.

[Grammatron]

He could have his uses if he really wants to contribute and realizes he's a role player at best. Just using him for six crushing fouls per game is worth the veteran minimum and a roster spot.

You have to look no further than Wallace during last season with the Celtics. He was a role player, but he was not in a shape he should or could have been in. Shaq will not fare nearly as well.

[Doctor X]

This just in: Bill Walton is "questioning" his retirement.

--J.D.

P.S. No truth to the rumors that Doc Rivers has tried to call Bret Farvererere(re) . . .

[RCC]

He could have his uses if he really wants to contribute and realizes he's a role player at best. Just using him for six crushing fouls per game is worth the veteran minimum and a roster spot.

You have to look no further than Wallace during last season with the Celtics. He was a role player, but he was not in a shape he should or could have been in. Shaq will not fare nearly as well.

I'm looking best case scenario. He shows up in shape, is a good presence in the locker room, doesn't bitch about playing time, and plays hard when needed. Shaq has always struck me as a good guy who could pull this all together if he really wanted to.

The Celts don't really need a lot of value to justify this deal. The key is whether he can handle the role. He wasn't a good fit in Cleveland, whether he fits better in Boston with the older Pierce and Garnett leading the way is another story. What we have found out about LBJ since then makes me wonder what that dynamic was really like...

[Grammatron]

I'm looking best case scenario. He shows up in shape, is a good presence in the locker room, doesn't bitch about playing time, and plays hard when needed. Shaq has always struck me as a good guy who could pull this all together if he really wanted to.

The Celts don't really need a lot of value to justify this deal. The key is whether he can handle the role. He wasn't a good fit in Cleveland, whether he fits better in Boston with the older Pierce and Garnett leading the way is another story. What we have found out about LBJ since then makes me wonder what that dynamic was really like...

My problem with Shaq was that during his last season with the Lakers he was not in good (let alone great) shape, as evident by him losing 30lbs after getting traded to Heat. No one had a good thing to say about Shaq and visa versa after each subsequent move.

Shaq was the best, and I am glad he played for the Lakers during his best years. but that was a decade ago. I do not think he has it in him anymore to play, he's just trying to get paid.

Of course if Perkins heals up nicely, they can just move Shaq all the way to the end of the bench and have a good second half of the season and playoffs.

[Pyrrho]

My condolences.

http://twitter.com/the_real_shaq

[Pyrrho]

Here's some headline FAIL

[Doctor X]

Best of both worlds.

I think I would even root for the Fakers against LeBron.

But not the MFYs because, hey, I have standards.

--J.D.

[Grammatron]

Best of both worlds.

I think I would even root for the Fakers against LeBron.

But not the MFYs because, hey, I have standards.

--J.D.

I was rooting for Boston.

It was a once in a lifetime offer.

[Doctor X]

The 90 second Triumph of Will Nike ad will not improve his standing in the public.

--J.D.

[RCC]

Wake me up in April when the season starts.

[grayman]

Cleveland gets back at Lebron...with a hex!

[Pyrrho]

Having your lunch money taken by a bully is one thing. Walking up to the bully and saying "Nyaah nyaah!" is usually counterproductive.

[Doctor X]

Gee Princessm Cleveland could beat the Cs but you cannot.

--J.D.

[Pyrrho]

The very thing that unites them will tear them apart. Egos act as unipolar magnetic fields. They might attract lesser objects, but like repels like. The Quest for the Ring will end up at the mercy of the Nibelung. But they'll lay their hands on a lot of Rhinegold and assorted maidens and not-so-maidens.

[Grammatron]

It's been a pleasure to bring my talents to south beach now on to Memphis

That's some serious pwnage.

[Pyrrho]

How about those Cavs. Not for nothing do we call them the Cadavaliers.

[Grammatron]

How about those Cavs. Not for nothing do we call them the Cadavaliers.

They got fucked over with injuries.

[Doctor X]

Michael Holley of Patriot Reign fame--followed the team for about two years and even got fined for some infraction--is on a radio show. Reacting to Cleveland's record he and his cohost wondered if there was any player on the Cavs team that "you'd want."

"Even on bad teams, you can find someone you can use."

His host could not find one and, noted, that other than His Majesty, there really has not been many Cavs players that you would want or your team, particularly if you have to trade and pay for them.

Quote Michael: "I'd of paid for World B. Free!"

--J.D.

[Doctor X]

Add to that, another co-host officially adopted Cleveland. He will root for Cleveland in anything--other than against a Boston team in a playoff, of course. He was not even that upset when the Stains and the Mangina--a.k.a. "Freddo"--asswhiped the Flats--if Mangina had not been the coach he probably would have been happy: "Cleveland needs love."

And he has a point. Boston fans bitched about curses . . . which had nothing to do about institutionalized racism . . . no . . . not that--but every team has won a championship recently if not more than one . . . except for some sport that involves boxing on skates or something. Boston fans could point to "Bucky Fucking Dent," "Bill Buckner," and, of course, "Grady Motherfuckingasshat Little." Winning titles changes that. Sure . . . Pats fans are moaning about a dropped pass in the endzone and "just who the fuck were you throwing to Tom? Giselle?!" But many have even saluted Santonio Holmes for "a terrific catch."

Why?

They have three trophies to hug.

This extends to the other teams.

What has Cleveland? Where is their psychological cushion?

Bill Buckner? Bucky Dent? How about coughing up a lead in the 9th to give an EXPANSION team its first WS! How about adding to Boston Mystique--"To me, 'Aura' and 'Mystique' sound like strippers."--Curt Schilling--by coughing up a 3-1 series lead--after engineering first a great come-back then assrapage in Game 2? That was "your year"--hell, you even destroyed the MFY . . . with INSECTS! You exposed Roger Clemens for the fraud he is.

Few Boston fans expected the Cs to make it to the playoffs last year--quite a few pundits even suggested they should "play for the lottery." When they did a few years ago, they failed to get a the first-rounder who never played due to injuries . . . and were forced to acquire Kevin Garnet, et cetera.

Cleveland? Their finals were a CORONATION! Not only would "King James" win his first Championship he would knock off that Pretender to MVP . . . and . . . well . . . what happened?

Players leave teams to play for other teams that win championships--Man-Ram, Fatassia.



So . . . think of Cleveland. Give them your love. Adopt them. Because the future is so bright you need halogen lights to see your own fingers covering your eyes in realization of "the Horror! The Horror!"

--J.D.

[Pyrrho]

How about those Cavs. Not for nothing do we call them the Cadavaliers.

They got fucked over with injuries.

True, that.

[Pyrrho]

We're getting Jim Thome back!

Just in time, too. Why shouldn't he also enjoy the slide into the dumper?

[Doctor X]

Just heard that and thought "what?"

Lateral move for him, of course.

--J.D.

[Pyrrho]

...and now he's going to Philly!

http://www.newsnet5.com/dpp/sports/base ... r-contract

Despite being acquired by the Indians for the pennant race in August, reuniting the record-setting slugger with a team and city that adores him, Thome agreed Friday to sign a free-agent contract with the Philadelphia Phillies, according to a person familiar with the negotiations.

BWAHAHAHAHAHHA

The quest for the Ring continues...

[Pyrrho]

The hate is still alive...

http://www.cleveland.com/opinion/index. ... _as_1.html

It doesn't matter how the Browns fare in the season-ending game against the Steelers. The team's place in history is already secure.

The Cleveland Browns (second edition) is the worst professional sports franchise in the city's history.

[Pyrrho]

http://www.cleveland.com/tribe/index.ss ... rom_j.html

Now all Fausto Carmona has to do is get to the United States using his real name and age. That could take a while.

However, the Indians apparently won't be voiding his $7 million contract.

This comment is pure WIN:

damonjonesyo
Accordingly, the Indians did an immediate background check on their other pitchers and, to their profound disappointment, it turns out Derek Lowe really is who he says he is.

[Doctor X]

Red Sox fans like Fausto . . .


. . . I see you are now familiar with "The Derek Lowe Face."

--J.D.

[Pyrrho]

In other news that I missed earlier...

..."Chilly" is the new Browns defensive coordinator.

http://www.cleveland.com/browns/index.s ... cnabb.html

[Pyrrho]

No RG3 for you!

BWAHAHahAHAHaahAAAhh

[Doctor X]

Though Washington sold the farm and the daughter to get him.

--J.D.

[Pyrrho]

Roberto Fausto Carmona Hernandez charges dropped in exchange for work program!

http://www.newsnet5.com/dpp/sports/base ... ez-dropped

Soon he'll be back in sunny Cleveland, no doubt to a hero's welcome at the airport.

[asthmatic camel]

I have no idea what you're talking about but it sounds like fun.

[Doctor X]

Imagine if your team, AC played a Man's Sport.

Now imagine they played for your borough.

Now imagine they lose to the Oxbridge Fop Felators.

That is Cleveland sports.

Innnnnn FACT, The Thing prequel made a reference to Cleveland sports.

--J. "They're the Cavs, Man!" D.

[Pyrrho]

Roberto "Fausto Carmona" Hernandez has got a new $7 million deal with the Indians...and he's still required to stay in the Dominican Republic. Not bad for a guy who was faking his identity.

Peyton Hillis has got a new $3 million deal with the Chiefs. Not bad for a guy who was faking being a football player.

[Pyrrho]

The talk in Cleveland is all "TEBOW TIME!"

http://www.cleveland.com/browns/index.s ... rowns.html

Maybe he can pray away the curse?

[En folkefiende]

How about them Indians, eh?

[Doctor X]

The talk in Cleveland is all "TEBOW TIME!"

Did you guys like desecrate an entire Indian burial ground? I mean, other than the Cleveland Indians?

--J.D.

[Pyrrho]

The talk in Cleveland is all "TEBOW TIME!"

Did you guys like desecrate an entire Indian burial ground? I mean, other than the Cleveland Indians?

--J.D.

Probably had something to do with the multiple times we set the river on fire.