Sorry to Make You Cry XVI

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Sun Sep 06, 2020 6:42 am

After MORE than a decade . . . of dominance and nearly two decades of Dynasty!!

From The Office of the Two Three Time Grand Champion

"The merciful and compassionate!"

And this is how I began last year quoting how we began the previous year . . . quoting how we began the previous year . . . quoting how we began the previous year quoting how we began the previous year . . . quoting the previous year . . . quoting the previous year . . . quoting the previous year . . . quoting the previous year . . . quoting the previous year . . . quoting the previous year . . . quoting the previous year . . . quoting the previous year:

There is that scent in the air . . . the scent of Dolphin failure! The scent of Chicago not having a quarterback! The scent of San Diego Los Angeles fans still not over last year!

Has anything really changed? We could add Saints, Indy, and Pissburgh [Stop that. – Ed.] fans.

There is a scent in the air. . . .

Ramathorn: What's that smell Rabbit?

Rabbit: FEAR!

AND WHAT A SEASON IT IS SHAPING UP TO BECOME! {Get me a coffee and a bagel!} [Shhh!--Ed.]

The rules, as Carr explained, remain:

T3h Rulz:

Rule the First: "Same idea as last year. Pick a team each week, if that team loses you then own that team and get one point for each regular season win that team gets."

ALL games count: Thursday, Sunday, Day-Night Double-Header to make up for a rain out. . . . I follow the NFL Schedule. So start picking NOW!

Rule the Second: You can pick and change up to the time of kickoff.

Rule the Third: "Mulligan!!"

1. Regular Season: each player has one "Mulligan." Those with one will have an "*" next to their name in the Grid of Despair. That means you get one chance to pick a second game if your first game FAILS. To clarify if your first game is the last game of the week – Monday Night Football – you can carry your Mulligan over to the following week unless it is that last game of the regular season: you cannot carry a Mulligan into the Playoffs . . . "Playoffs?"

You declare it . . . you used it whatever the outcome of the first game is.

2. Playoffs?

3. What if Gonna be Absent? For those who are "away" one may post or PM. The second pick must be before the kick-off of that game. So, yes, you can fail on Sunday and pick a later game, even Monday Night Football.

You can post "Imma picking Denver to lose but if that FAIL, I am picking the Jags to lose!"

You have used your "Mulligan."

Bonus Points:

Win a Division: 4 points
Wild Card: 2 points
Win in First Round of playoffs : 3 point
Win in Divisional Round: 5 points
Win Conference Championship: 7 points
Win Superbowl: 15 points

Supersorrytomakeyoucrybubblebonus: The team that finishes one place out of a playoff spot pays a 2.5 point bonus.
This will be based on the semi-official NFL standings.

ExtraEvidencesDr.XMeaniebonus: Beating the Patriots pays 1 point.

DoNotJudgeOthersbyYourStandardsCHARLEY_BIGTIMEbonus: Beating Pittsburgh pays 1 point.

Doctor X is a MEANIE Point: Your Humble and Magnificent Messiah [PBUH--Ed.] gets 1 points if you pick the Patriots to lose and they win.

Dipshit Bonus:

6 point bonus if you own all teams playing in a playoff round (and thus cannot pick a team) – unLESS:

RadrickGamblingBonus:

if eligible for the Dipshit Bonus, you can still choose to pick a loser. If the team loses, you get 10 points. If they win, you get . . . nothing! And you will like it!

In the Rain Bonus: If you have a team that fires a coach before and including Week 9, you get 10 points. If you have a team whose coach is fired before Brack Fliday [Monday--Ed.], you get 5 points. After Brack Fliday [Monday--Ed.] you get 2 points:

1. Rained on by Week 9: 10 points.
2. Rained on before Brack Fliday [Monday--Ed.]: 5 points
3. Rained on on or after Brack Fliday [Monday--Ed.]: 2 points

shempICan'tWinforLosingBonus: If you pick a team up to and including Week 12 OR prior to the first team to clinch a playoff spot AND your team is losing by 14 or more points in the 4th quarter yet they win? You get 1 point consolation. And you will like it.

Super Bowl is the cut-off.

Playoffs: "Playoffs? Playoffs?!"

If you pick a team to lose IN the playoffs, you get only the season wins and any previous post season wins. No play-off bonuses.

I am ethically and spiritually barred from choosing NE since I would be guaranteeing myself my own "MEANIE point." If the situation arises in the "Playoffs?" where there is no team I can pick, I default to either the Dipshit Bonus or the RadrickGamblingBonus.

SUGGESTIONS will be entertained.

Now:

--J. "With Cream Cheese!" [Shhh!--Ed.] D.

P.S.

izittrue · Post by **izittrue** » Mon Sep 07, 2020 5:15 pm

What no jinx bonus? That’s just wrong!!

Hotarubi · Post by **Hotarubi** » Mon Sep 07, 2020 6:52 pm

I dont understand the rules.

Pyrrho · Post by **Pyrrho** » Mon Sep 07, 2020 7:04 pm

But...the rules are as simple as the rules for 43-Man Squamish!

Anaxagoras · Post by **Anaxagoras** » Tue Sep 08, 2020 10:34 am

Post by **Captain** » Wed Sep 09, 2020 12:02 am

We got all kinds...you'll learn the rules...for your own good.

Anaxagoras · Post by **Anaxagoras** » Wed Sep 09, 2020 10:05 pm

Well, I guess I'l start by picking the Steers & Queers.

Evolver · Post by **Evolver** » Thu Sep 10, 2020 2:43 am

Hotarubi wrote: ↑Mon Sep 07, 2020 6:52 pm I dont understand the rules.

They're as simple as 123321132223121332

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Thu Sep 10, 2020 4:46 am

– J.D.

DJ · Post by DJ » Thu Sep 10, 2020 11:13 am

Brady’s Gay†

↑ Which might also mean happy, lively

izittrue · Post by **izittrue** » Thu Sep 10, 2020 5:54 pm

Az Cardinals. What’s the funnee for those losers?

Hotarubi · Post by **Hotarubi** » Thu Sep 10, 2020 6:05 pm

izittrue wrote: ↑Thu Sep 10, 2020 5:54 pm Az Cardinals. What’s the funnee for those losers?

Tards wasnt it?

Evolver · Post by **Evolver** » Thu Sep 10, 2020 10:41 pm

TomB Bay Bumfuccaneers to get. well you know.

Pyrrho · Post by **Pyrrho** » Fri Sep 11, 2020 12:08 am

Fag? "Smoke 'em if you've got 'em!"

Steers n' Queers

Grammatron · Post by **Grammatron** » Sat Sep 12, 2020 6:30 am

Cleveland Steamers to lose

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Sat Sep 12, 2020 6:41 am

Grammatron wrote: ↑Sat Sep 12, 2020 6:30 am Cleveland Steamers to lose

Well, Odell does play for Cleveland. . . .

– J.D.

gnome · Post by **gnome** » Sun Sep 13, 2020 6:41 pm

AAAAAAHHHHH!! I missed the beginning!

Please count me in and put me for Cowboys to lose.

gnome · Post by **gnome** » Sun Sep 13, 2020 6:46 pm

Hotarubi wrote: ↑Mon Sep 07, 2020 6:52 pm I dont understand the rules.

It's perfectly simple. Those of you who are playing in the match this afternoon move your clothes down onto the lower peg immediately after lunch, before you write your letter home, if you're not getting your hair cut, unless you've got a younger brother who is going out this weekend as the guest of another boy, in which case, collect his note before lunch, put it in your letter after you've had your hair cut, and make sure he moves your clothes down onto the lower peg for you. If you're not getting your hair cut, you don't have to move your brother's clothes down to the lower peg. You simply collect his note before lunch, after you've done your scripture prep, when you've written your letter home, before rest, move your own clothes onto the lower peg, greet the visitors, and report to Mr. Viney that you've had your chit signed.

OK the actual short version: You try to pick when a good team is going to lose. One pick per week, made before kickoff. Choose wisely, and you "have" that team, collecting points for all their wins (even from before you picked them), and various bonuses as described. Choose poorly, and you cry.

Pyrrho · Post by **Pyrrho** » Sun Sep 13, 2020 8:03 pm

Cleveland has started the season as one might expect.

So, too, have the Patriots.

Hotarubi · Post by **Hotarubi** » Sun Sep 13, 2020 11:07 pm

gnome wrote: ↑Sun Sep 13, 2020 6:46 pm
Hotarubi wrote: ↑Mon Sep 07, 2020 6:52 pm I dont understand the rules.
It's perfectly simple. Those of you who are playing in the match this afternoon move your clothes down onto the lower peg immediately after lunch, before you write your letter home, if you're not getting your hair cut, unless you've got a younger brother who is going out this weekend as the guest of another boy, in which case, collect his note before lunch, put it in your letter after you've had your hair cut, and make sure he moves your clothes down onto the lower peg for you. If you're not getting your hair cut, you don't have to move your brother's clothes down to the lower peg. You simply collect his note before lunch, after you've done your scripture prep, when you've written your letter home, before rest, move your own clothes onto the lower peg, greet the visitors, and report to Mr. Viney that you've had your chit signed.

OK the actual short version: You try to pick when a good team is going to lose. One pick per week, made before kickoff. Choose wisely, and you "have" that team, collecting points for all their wins (even from before you picked them), and various bonuses as described. Choose poorly, and you cry.

Ok, who is going to explain it to Gnome....

(Thanks btw.)

Evolver · Post by **Evolver** » Mon Sep 14, 2020 12:15 am

Brady looked a little, but not much better than last year.
Gronk appeared to be out of shape.

I hope Brady gets it together and earns me a lot of points.

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Mon Sep 14, 2020 5:39 am

Week One Pickies:

Loser	Team	Result
His Humble MagNIfIcence*	Brady's Gay†
Evolver*	Brady's Gay†
Anaxagoras*	Steers 'n Queers
gnome*	Cowgirls
Pyrrho*	Steers 'n Queers
Enchantress*	Steers 'n Queers
izittrue*	Tards
Radrick*	Failcons
*WildcatFag**
Grammatron*	Cleveland Steamers
*shempFag**
DJ*	Brady's Gay‡

*NFL Schedule

--J.D.

*I Haz Mulligans!

†Not . . . that there is anything wrong with it.

‡"I feel happy! I feel happy!"

Pyrrho · Post by **Pyrrho** » Mon Sep 14, 2020 4:48 pm

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Mon Sep 14, 2020 8:15 pm

Shhhhh!

– J.D.

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Tue Sep 15, 2020 6:07 am

Current Week One Two Standings:

☞0 Doctor X TB (0)☜

0 Evolver TB (0)
0 DJ TB (0)
0 gnome Dal (0)
0 Radrick Atl (0)
0 Grammatron Cle (0)
0 Enchantress Hou (0)
0 Anaxagoras Hou (0)
0 Pyrrho Hou (0)

0 izittrue

As always, check my math . . . yes, you may use your fingers. . . .

Doctor X has Brought Presents!

– J. "Well, You've Got Your Thirty Pieces of Silver!" D.

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Tue Sep 15, 2020 7:58 pm

Dead Coach Walking:

Lions head coach Matt Patricia was asked if there's something in his coaching "that isn't happening enough in the fourth quarter."

"Yeah, I don't think so," Patricia said. "I think I got probably one of the biggest plays in the fourth quarter in the history of the NFL." pic.twitter.com/chcqBLXF6U
— Brad Galli (@BradGalli) September 13, 2020

– J.D.

DJ · Post by DJ » Wed Sep 16, 2020 6:11 pm

The Flats

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Wed Sep 16, 2020 6:23 pm

Meanie.

– J.D.

izittrue · Post by **izittrue** » Wed Sep 16, 2020 10:24 pm

Tards and da bears win. 2020 is insane.

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Wed Sep 16, 2020 11:58 pm

You just noticed?

– J.D.

Pyrrho · Post by **Pyrrho** » Thu Sep 17, 2020 12:17 am

Sea Chickens

Grammatron · Post by **Grammatron** » Thu Sep 17, 2020 12:51 am

Washington Foreskin Team to lose.

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Thu Sep 17, 2020 1:09 am

– J.D.

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Thu Sep 17, 2020 3:39 am

– J.D.

gnome · Post by **gnome** » Thu Sep 17, 2020 10:35 pm

Ain'ts to lose.

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Fri Sep 18, 2020 2:02 am

Surprised that none of you have rushed to take advantage of this Classic® Thursday Night match up. . . .

– J.D.

Grammatron · Post by **Grammatron** » Fri Sep 18, 2020 3:47 am

Already have Cleveland. But it was actually a fun game.

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Fri Sep 18, 2020 6:22 am

Which would make you the first player with a point.

– J.D.

Grammatron · Post by **Grammatron** » Fri Sep 18, 2020 6:32 am

Leading with Cleveland, classic 2020.

Anaxagoras · Post by **Anaxagoras** » Fri Sep 18, 2020 10:30 am

Flats to get deflated