Job search question

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Cool Hand
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Post by Cool Hand »

gnome wrote: Actually, I got the same treatment from girls I used to ask out in high school. So rarely did I get a distinct "no"... instead they'd fuss about how busy they were, and being a persistent dork I'd come back and ask again and again over time. I didn't have the maturity to understand if they were really interested they'd make time. But then again I suppose the girls didn't have the maturity to realize that dodging the confrontation just meant more weeks of this weirdo following you around and bugging you.

People will chase a "maybe". That principle should be taught in school. :P
Indeed. Unfortunately, people are doomed to have to learn this lesson the hard way each generation.

CH
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And you run and you run to catch up with the sun but it's sinking
Racing around to come up behind you again
The sun is the same in a relative way, but you're older
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Nyarlathotep
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Post by Nyarlathotep »

gnome wrote:
Nyarlathotep wrote:Sometimes, as in the example with Bearguins friend, the people contact them. They still get the long-winded bullshit answer, one that further encourages (or at least fails to discourage) contacting them again.
Actually, I got the same treatment from girls I used to ask out in high school. So rarely did I get a distinct "no"... instead they'd fuss about how busy they were, and being a persistent dork I'd come back and ask again and again over time. I didn't have the maturity to understand if they were really interested they'd make time. But then again I suppose the girls didn't have the maturity to realize that dodging the confrontation just meant more weeks of this weirdo following you around and bugging you.

People will chase a "maybe". That principle should be taught in school. :P
That behavior always baffled me too. I would have preferred a "I'm not interested, go away." to "Well, gee, I'm just soooo busy Friday nights...." and that sort of stupidity. Yet they undoubtedly thought they were being "nice" to me by giving me the runaround.
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esqueleto
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Post by esqueleto »

gnome wrote:Actually, I got the same treatment from girls I used to ask out in high school. So rarely did I get a distinct "no"... instead they'd fuss about how busy they were, and being a persistent dork I'd come back and ask again and again over time. I didn't have the maturity to understand if they were really interested they'd make time. But then again I suppose the girls didn't have the maturity to realize that dodging the confrontation just meant more weeks of this weirdo following you around and bugging you.
There may have been more to it than that. I remember once telling a guy I'd think about going to a dance with him, afraid I would embarrass him because I didn't have anything to wear. (We wore uniforms at school, so he had no idea what my wardrobe consisted of outside.) I was buying time triying to figure out who I could borrow something from that would fit me since none of my friends had remotely the same body shape. It really didn't occur to me that he perceived it as a drawn-out rejection.

Really, teenage girls are worrying about things guys never think of, and probably wouldn't care about if they knew.
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TheAtheist
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Re: Job search question

Post by TheAtheist »

Nyarlathotep wrote:If you do that for a living you can answer a question that has always bugged me.

When someone interviews for a job and they don't get the job but they call to follow up, why do the HR people always give such a bullshitty answer? Why can't they just politely tell you "No, you didn't get the job. Sorry." instead of always pussyfooting around and giving answers like the above?

It is something that has always driven me mad when looking for work.
First off, people hate saying "no", so they avoid it at all costs.

Second, there's an element of keeping people hanging in case the employer gets desperate enough to bring them forward.

Third, it saves time. People hate being told "no" more than they hate saying it, and I have to note that when I tell people they've missed out on a job, they always want to know why, then argue about why they should have got it, why they were the best candidate and why the company has made the wrong decision.

I hedge my bets by telling ALL candidates that "I will get back to you if I can help you".
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Bearguin
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Post by Bearguin »

If I interview someone, they get an answer. I don't give an answer until I have an accepted offer, but once that is done I call everyone I actually spoke to and let them know the position has been filled.

Most people thank me and that's the end. I've never explained the why, and never will.

But don't take the my case above as typical. That was not a response from the company, but from a friend.
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gnome
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Re:

Post by gnome »

Nyarlathotep wrote: Wed Mar 10, 2010 2:27 am
gnome wrote:
Nyarlathotep wrote:Sometimes, as in the example with Bearguins friend, the people contact them. They still get the long-winded bullshit answer, one that further encourages (or at least fails to discourage) contacting them again.
Actually, I got the same treatment from girls I used to ask out in high school. So rarely did I get a distinct "no"... instead they'd fuss about how busy they were, and being a persistent dork I'd come back and ask again and again over time. I didn't have the maturity to understand if they were really interested they'd make time. But then again I suppose the girls didn't have the maturity to realize that dodging the confrontation just meant more weeks of this weirdo following you around and bugging you.

People will chase a "maybe". That principle should be taught in school. :P
That behavior always baffled me too. I would have preferred a "I'm not interested, go away." to "Well, gee, I'm just soooo busy Friday nights...." and that sort of stupidity. Yet they undoubtedly thought they were being "nice" to me by giving me the runaround.
New realizations on this phenomenon--something I've learned in the latter part of the 10 years since making this post.

At least some girls (and later, women) say "maybe" because their experience has taught them to be afraid. Saying a clear "no" can result in a suddenly hostile response, and in some cases violence. Even in 2010 I don't think I was aware of how common that experience was.
"If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight! Sun Tzu said that, and I'd say he knows a little bit more about fighting than you do, pal, because he invented it, and then he perfected it so that no living man could best him in the ring of honor. Then, he used his fight money to buy two of every animal on earth, and then he herded them onto a boat, and then he beat the crap out of every single one. And from that day forward any time a bunch of animals are together in one place it's called a zoo! (Beat) Unless it's a farm!"
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