The new Disney Star Wars doesn't suck ... THE FANS SUCK!!!!1!!!

Grammatron · Post by **Grammatron** » Tue Jun 12, 2018 11:13 pm

The first part of 3 is correct.

The movies are shitty but even still they are meant for a different audience.

Pyrrho · Post by **Pyrrho** » Tue Jun 12, 2018 11:55 pm

The Japanese Originals are still better.

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Wed Jun 13, 2018 2:44 am

Yeah. The only good one was the first one based on Three Bad Men in a Hidden Fortress with a few lines stolen from Yojimbo.

Not the good ones, though. Used a bad translation.

In the rain.

--J.D.

Anaxagoras · Post by **Anaxagoras** » Wed Jun 13, 2018 7:53 am

The first two were good. The third one, OK if you were a kid but really just the plot of the first one reused. "We'll have another Death Star, but this time it's BIGGER!!!" All of the rest were just a way to generate more money from the franchise.

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Wed Jun 13, 2018 11:12 am

"Bigger . . . and NOT FINISHED! So it looks COOL!"

I was utterly bored by the second film. Idiots try to declare it as "The Bestest!" which I find unfathomable. It is certainly one of the most unscientific . . . until the Sarlac . . . but nothing really happens for most of it. Lucas threw in Billy Dee Williams, because someone reminded him that no one but White People existed in his universe.

No surprise Guinness hated it and Fischer and Ford spent most of it either drunk or hung-over.

The third I wanted to leave. Utter crap. I lost Faith in Humanity with that. Because of those movies, we have Adam Sandler, Green Day, the Clintons, AIDS, and, probably, the Hip Hop. Trump existed before, so we have to blame TXNO ONE GIVES A FUCK YOU HACK LUCAS!

Then we had:

--J. "Hawk, the Slayer?" D.

Anaxagoras · Post by **Anaxagoras** » Wed Jun 13, 2018 3:55 pm

Well, to be fair, none of them were ever even close to being "scientific". 12 parsecs? Light sabers? Spaceships dodging lasers that move much slower than light speed? Space opera is a better term for it than science fiction.

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Wed Jun 13, 2018 11:01 pm

The second film descended to Creatard-Level ignorance.

Hands move faster than light, apparently.

--J.D.

gnome · Post by **gnome** » Thu Jun 14, 2018 1:13 pm

That in particular is a thin complaint.

It's pretty well established that Force users employ a form of precognition that guides their movements before the shot is even fired. Someone might not like that fantastical element, but it doesn't rely on hands being faster than light.

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Fri Jun 15, 2018 8:06 pm

You mean "retrofitted" when the obvious was made.

Which means none of them should ever have died.

You lose.

Walk home in shame.

--J.D.

gnome · Post by **gnome** » Fri Jun 15, 2018 8:36 pm

Given the in-context cues, such as "guides our actions" it's not too crazy a retrofit--for me it's all but spelled out when Luke is doing drills with the flying drone--he's literally not using his eyes, so it's not a reaction to a sensory cue. I wouldn't expect you to object to a rare bit of elegant subtlety, that the movies are not especially known for.

And as for not being able to die--there are limitations to such a power, limitations that came up often visually. It requires concentration, and that concentration can falter or be broken (like by having heavy objects hurled at you as in Empire.) Or when a similar power opposes yours. Or you can be overwhelmed by incoming fire--such as witnessed in Order 66.

All in all it hearkens back to one of the better lines in The Phantom Menace when Anakin said nobody could kill a Jedi--"I wish that were true."

Nyarlathotep · Post by **Nyarlathotep** » Fri Jun 15, 2018 8:52 pm

There is some truth to the article though. Star Wars fandom has become a bigger mess than just about any other group of fans I can think of. Star Trek fans bitch and moan incessantly about the new series, but they don't make coordinated harassment campaigns to drive Sonequa Martin-Green off of social media. Doctor Who fans might complain bitterly about the new Doctor (And they find reasons to do it with every new Doctor. This time its because she is a woman, last time it was because he was old, the time before that it was because he wasn't David Tennant, etc), but they don't (as a general rule, there are always exceptions) threaten to kill Steven Moffat's wife and kids for "ruining [their] childhoods"

And it isn't that the studios are looking for someone to blame for their bad movies. In the end, the studios are all about the dolla dolla bills y'all and from that standpoint, the movies are doing just fine. Even the newest one is only a box office disappointment in comparison to the other films of the franchise. Taken on its own, it's about an average summer release, box office-wise.

Don't know why Star Wars fans are that way, but they do seem to have gotten to a point where they don't just dislike the new stuff, like every other group of fans, they seem to take it very, VERY personally.

Nyarlathotep · Post by **Nyarlathotep** » Fri Jun 15, 2018 8:53 pm

Anaxagoras wrote:Well, to be fair, none of them were ever even close to being "scientific". 12 parsecs? Light sabers? Spaceships dodging lasers that move much slower than light speed? Space opera is a better term for it than science fiction.

No.

Space Opera is its own sub-genre and tends to be of the "Harder" sci-fi variety. Think things like The Expanse.

Star Wars is, pretty clearly to me, "Science Fantasy". That is to say, fantasy with the trappings of sci-fi.

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Fri Jun 15, 2018 11:48 pm

gnome wrote:Given the in-context cues, such as "guides our actions" it's not too crazy a retrofit--for me it's all but spelled out when Luke is doing drills with the flying drone--he's literally not using his eyes, so it's not a reaction to a sensory cue.

I preferred The Japanese Original Version of the scene.

I wouldn't expect you to object to a rare bit of elegant subtlety, that the movies are not especially known for.

It was as elegant and subtle as Rosanne Barr entering a china shop with a backhoe.

And as for not being able to die--there are limitations to such a power, limitations that came up often visually.

So you can move faster than precog faster than light such to deflect multiple blasts of light . . . but not one light moving at human speed?

Awesome.

I have heard Otaku give better justifications for A Certain Scientific Railgun.

All in all it hearkens back to one of the better lines in The Phantom Menace when Anakin said nobody could kill a Jedi--"I wish that were true."

Given that was the "best" line. . . .

I win.

--J.D.

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Fri Jun 15, 2018 11:50 pm

Nyarlathotep wrote:Star Wars is, pretty clearly to me, "Science Fantasy". That is to say, fantasy with the trappings of sci-fi.

It was more "I Didn't Get to Do Lord of the Rings So Let Me Slap Star Trek on a Few Kurosawa Films and, You Know, Darth Vader is an Insect."

In the rain.

--J.D.

Grammatron · Post by **Grammatron** » Sat Jun 16, 2018 6:29 am

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Sat Jun 16, 2018 7:48 am

Their review of The Greatest Story Ever ToldPrometheus remains one of the funniest videos I have seen.

--J. "Why Beards?" D.

Grammatron · Post by **Grammatron** » Sat Jun 16, 2018 8:28 am

Sometimes I think their existential dreads of having to watch all these horrible movies for a living really comes through. Or they are good at acting this shtick. Either way they do good work.

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Sun Jun 17, 2018 5:02 am

I heard an interview with one of them regarding Jurassic World Solar System Universe where, "they have to go save them from the island because a volcano will destroy them. You made them in a fucking lab! COOK UP SOME MORE IDIOTS!"

He was, of course, funnier.

--J.D.

Nyarlathotep · Post by **Nyarlathotep** » Sun Jun 17, 2018 5:12 am

Doctor X wrote: COOK UP SOME MORE IDIOTS!"

Why would they want to cook up more idiots? The world is full of them already

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Sun Jun 17, 2018 1:39 pm

You want the dinosaurs to starve?

--J.D.

Nyarlathotep · Post by **Nyarlathotep** » Sun Jun 17, 2018 7:15 pm

That...is an excellent point

Anaxagoras · Post by **Anaxagoras** » Tue Oct 02, 2018 8:22 am

'Star Wars: The Last Jedi' Negative Buzz Amplified by Russian Trolls, Study Finds

Grammatron · Post by **Grammatron** » Tue Oct 02, 2018 8:29 am

Did the Russian trolls spread the trailers as well?

gnome · Post by **gnome** » Tue Oct 02, 2018 8:36 pm

Grammatron wrote: ↑Tue Oct 02, 2018 8:29 am Did the Russian trolls spread the trailers as well?

gnome · Post by **gnome** » Tue Oct 02, 2018 8:38 pm

Abdul Alhazred wrote: ↑Tue Oct 02, 2018 8:38 am Analysis:
Major premise: If some Russians think a movie sucks, it's because they are Russians not because the movie sucks.
Minor premise: If everybody else thinks the movie sucks, it's Russian mind control.
Conclusion: Movies are made by Democrats.

Conjecture: Weaponized trolling has been invented. Russians have decided to hone and exploit this tactic.
This is irrelevant to whether the troll statements should be considered accurate.

Pyrrho · Post by **Pyrrho** » Tue Oct 02, 2018 8:46 pm

They should tell themselves "It's just a show and I really should relax."

gnome · Post by **gnome** » Tue Oct 02, 2018 10:22 pm

Good advice all around. If it starts to suck, find something good

Anaxagoras · Post by **Anaxagoras** » Wed Oct 03, 2018 3:08 am

Abdul Alhazred wrote: ↑Tue Oct 02, 2018 10:24 pm "Weaponized trolling" == being a meanie on the internet.

Tough shit if they say your sucky movie sucks.

And plenty of people said the second trilogy sucked (or was "too political") without Lucas having hissy fits and descending into conspiracy theories.

But this is about an academic paper by someone with a PhD Abdul!!

gnome · Post by **gnome** » Wed Oct 03, 2018 12:16 pm

Anaxagoras wrote: ↑Wed Oct 03, 2018 3:08 am
Abdul Alhazred wrote: ↑Tue Oct 02, 2018 10:24 pm "Weaponized trolling" == being a meanie on the internet.

Tough shit if they say your sucky movie sucks.

And plenty of people said the second trilogy sucked (or was "too political") without Lucas having hissy fits and descending into conspiracy theories.
But this is about an academic paper by someone with a PhD Abdul!!

Don't get that reference.

It's not about specifically movies, or presidents, or anything. And it's no huge conspiracy. They've noticed that they can get us riled up by stirring the pot. Even if it's over stupid shit it has effects.

One to the other... one to the other...

If you've seen the episode you know it is not the Russians I am mad at in my analogy.

Anaxagoras · Post by **Anaxagoras** » Sat Dec 22, 2018 1:06 am

Was anyone crying out for a reboot of Mary Poppins?

Sure, it's a classic, but I'm not really all that shocked that people are not exactly stampeding to theaters to see this thing.

Nyarlathotep · Post by **Nyarlathotep** » Sat Dec 22, 2018 2:30 am

I just am confused because this Mary Poppins is kinda hot and that makes me feel very confused and conflicted

Nyarlathotep · Post by **Nyarlathotep** » Thu May 02, 2019 2:52 am

Those fucking teeth.

Live action Sonic is creepy as fuck

Anaxagoras · Post by **Anaxagoras** » Wed Dec 18, 2019 11:14 pm

The Rise of Skywalker Is So Bad It Actually Makes the Trilogy Worse

Reviewer accuses filmmakers of capitulating to toxic fans.

gnome · Post by **gnome** » Thu Dec 19, 2019 5:26 pm

So basically whatever they do, they'll be accused of "pandering" or "capitulating" to some kind of fans, that are bad.

Nyarlathotep · Post by **Nyarlathotep** » Sat Dec 21, 2019 5:52 am

Meanwhile, on Arrakis....

The Only Good Online Fandom Left is Dune

So all you Star Wars fans can suck it.

In the contemporary internet sense, the Dune discourse is wild and wide open, without the warring-camp, protect it at all costs mentality that plagues so many other geek-culture staples. If you say “The spice must flow,” you aren’t risking hours of replies from angry pedants the way you might if, oh I don’t know, you point out that in Justice League, Aquaman’s trident (from the Latin for “three teeth”) has five points instead of three. Unless you try very hard, you’re also unlikely to encounter anyone complaining that Dune has been ruined by SJWs and soyboys, or that critics who like it have been bought off by that sweet De Laurentiis money. Yet it’s still a sprawling invented world that provides you with all the esoterica and trivia and map-reading and jargon-slinging joy of any other. You can get stoned and stay up until the wee hours making dank Duncan Idaho memes with your friends, or with no one at all, completely unmolested.

Nyarlathotep · Post by **Nyarlathotep** » Sun Dec 22, 2019 2:03 am

Abdul Alhazred wrote: ↑Sat Dec 21, 2019 3:13 pm Dune fandom -- Too bad the original material sucks.

I just finished a re-read of the original novels. I have always enjoyed them.

Nyarlathotep · Post by **Nyarlathotep** » Sun Dec 22, 2019 2:13 am

Abdul Alhazred wrote: ↑Sun Dec 22, 2019 2:10 am As long as what sucks isn't the fans, it's all good.

Ever read Frank Herbert's AWF Unlimited?

That's a short story about women astronauts. Very "past is a foreign country" stuff.

I know the whole run of Galaxy Magazine is in the Internet Archive, but I don't feel like hunting for it right now.

Nope. The only Herbert books I have read are the ones in the Dunce series.

Anaxagoras · Post by **Anaxagoras** » Sun Dec 22, 2019 6:53 am

Nyarlathotep wrote: ↑Sun Dec 22, 2019 2:13 am Nope. The only Herbert books I have read are the ones in the Dunce series.

Saved for posterity.

Nyarlathotep · Post by **Nyarlathotep** » Sun Dec 22, 2019 7:03 am

Fuggin’ autocorrect

Pyrrho · Post by **Pyrrho** » Wed Dec 25, 2019 9:12 pm