My Promise To YOU, The American People....

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Nyarlathotep
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My Promise To YOU, The American People....

Post by Nyarlathotep »

I am going to run for president. I am forming my own party. The Orbital Death Ray party. Our platform is a simple one. Orbital Death Rays.

That's it. Just the Death Rays.


Vote for Death Rays. Vote For Me.
Nyarlathotep
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Re: My Promise To YOU, The American People....

Post by Nyarlathotep »

I made my own campaign poster. It has my real name on it. I don't care

Image
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Anaxagoras
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Re: My Promise To YOU, The American People....

Post by Anaxagoras »

I dunno. What does your platform offer that Sweet Meteor O' Death does not?
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Doctor X
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Re: My Promise To YOU, The American People....

Post by Doctor X »

Will there be punch and pie?

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Pyrrho
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Re: My Promise To YOU, The American People....

Post by Pyrrho »

Anaxagoras wrote: Wed Jan 22, 2020 6:18 am I dunno. What does your platform offer that Sweet Meteor O' Death does not?
Sweet Meteor O' Death promises total global annihilation in a single day.

Death Rays appears to promise selective, regional disintegrations, at any point on the globe that can be targeted from geosynchronous orbit, with radii of agonies over an interminable period of time.
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Rob Lister
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Re: My Promise To YOU, The American People....

Post by Rob Lister »

Death rays are cool, sure, but have a hard time reaching the Eskimos.
Nyarlathotep
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Re: My Promise To YOU, The American People....

Post by Nyarlathotep »

Anaxagoras wrote: Wed Jan 22, 2020 6:18 am I dunno. What does your platform offer that Sweet Meteor O' Death does not?
Jobs. Someone had to build the death rays. Lots of good, high tech, carbon neutral jobs to be had. With a pension plan.

The pension plan is getting vaporized, but still
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Re: My Promise To YOU, The American People....

Post by Nyarlathotep »

Rob Lister wrote: Wed Jan 22, 2020 12:39 pm Death rays are cool, sure, but have a hard time reaching the Eskimos.

You have a point. I need a running mate to appeal to the all important Robot Sea Monster demographic.

Those robots should instill sufficient terror.
Nyarlathotep
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Re: My Promise To YOU, The American People....

Post by Nyarlathotep »

Doctor X wrote: Wed Jan 22, 2020 7:27 am Will there be punch and pie?

– J.D.
Nope just death rays, and maybe robot sea monsters
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Abdul Alhazred
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Re: My Promise To YOU, The American People....

Post by Abdul Alhazred »

Nyarlathotep wrote: Wed Jan 22, 2020 5:49 am I made my own campaign poster. It has my real name on it. I don't care

Image
It may be your "real" name (to the extent that any names are real), but it's also the perfect name for use in a short story about such a candidate.

Not obviously Jewish or otherwise ethnic. 8)
Last edited by Abdul Alhazred on Wed Jan 22, 2020 3:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Abdul Alhazred
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Re: My Promise To YOU, The American People....

Post by Abdul Alhazred »

Anaxagoras wrote: Wed Jan 22, 2020 6:18 am I dunno. What does your platform offer that Sweet Meteor O' Death does not?
"A quicker cleaner death than my honorable opponent can offer, and better for the environment".

Keeping it civil, not like Democrats and Republicans.

Hey Nyar! Need a campaign manager?
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Nyarlathotep
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Re: My Promise To YOU, The American People....

Post by Nyarlathotep »

Abdul Alhazred wrote: Wed Jan 22, 2020 3:27 pm
Anaxagoras wrote: Wed Jan 22, 2020 6:18 am I dunno. What does your platform offer that Sweet Meteor O' Death does not?
"A quicker cleaner death than my honorable opponent can offer, and better for the environment".

Keeping it civil, not like Democrats and Republicans.

Hey Nyar! Need a campaign manager?

Yes. I like your slogan
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Re: My Promise To YOU, The American People....

Post by gnome »

I might be able to work as an analyst of some kind. I think I can prove that even with your retirement plan, your orbital lasers will have a relatively small share on a pie chart of causes of Americans to die, and that there will be higher approval ratings on selection of kills than the other ways to die.
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Giz
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Re: My Promise To YOU, The American People....

Post by Giz »

Ron Strong? Ron??!

Consider changing your first name to Ray.
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Abdul Alhazred
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Re: My Promise To YOU, The American People....

Post by Abdul Alhazred »

Giz wrote: Thu Jan 23, 2020 6:20 pm Ron Strong? Ron??!

Consider changing your first name to Ray.
Indeed.

Then your nickname would be "Death" Ray. 8)
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Fid
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Re: My Promise To YOU, The American People....

Post by Fid »

First off buster, that's my friggin' first name too.
I'm old enough to remember Sputnick.

It was a huge, seriously huge deal, kiddos these days will take your "death ray" thingy with "meh".
At least I'd hope they would.

We practiced walking home from school (I guess while the Russian bombers were climbing over the pole).

Funny thing, Russians and... well the rest of the friggin' world have kiddos too.

Hard to believe these days , I know.

You be careful with that death ray Ron...bud.
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