Why Florida is an awsome place to live

[ed]

Ya'll watch yer tone when you're talkin' to me.

[Witness]

Lakeland Electric engineer faked credentials, pretended to be mayor in email, detectives say

LAKELAND, Fla. - Fake transcripts and fake credentials were enough to land a man a job at Lakeland Electric for six years until he was up for a promotion and ended up in jail - charged with fraud.

On Wednesday, Lakeland police said John Bretz was charged with scheming to defraud and criminal use of personal identification. Investigators said he managed to work for Lakeland Electric as a turbine engineer, and then as a supervisor for six years before anyone noticed something was up.

...

Over the summer, Bretz applied for a manager position, at a time when the vetting process had changed.

https://www.fox13news.com/news/lakeland ... ctives-say

[ed]

I should do a map. Lakeland has the best gun show in fla. About 45min north.

All these things are near me (or "right close" as we say down here), these are truly "my people"!!!

[sparks]

Ya'll watch yer tone when you're talkin' to me.

Ya'll ought to watch yer Crawdads closer.

Just sayin'.

[solely]

Lakeland Electric engineer faked credentials, pretended to be mayor in email, detectives say

LAKELAND, Fla. - Fake transcripts and fake credentials were enough to land a man a job at Lakeland Electric for six years until he was up for a promotion and ended up in jail - charged with fraud.

On Wednesday, Lakeland police said John Bretz was charged with scheming to defraud and criminal use of personal identification. Investigators said he managed to work for Lakeland Electric as a turbine engineer, and then as a supervisor for six years before anyone noticed something was up.

...

Over the summer, Bretz applied for a manager position, at a time when the vetting process had changed.

https://www.fox13news.com/news/lakeland ... ctives-say

This guy is my hero.

[Rob Lister]

Bretz raked in $865,904.35 in salary in six years.

He must have skilled in more than fakery.

[solely]

Bretz raked in $865,904.35 in salary in six years.

He must have skilled in more than fakery.

Exactly, and he did exchange labor for reward, for six years!

[Abdul Alhazred]

He was truly an electrical engineer, just impatient.

[Abdul Alhazred]

A little more rail fanning Florida style.

[Witness]

Florida man accused of groping a princess at Disney World.

[Abdul Alhazred]

Hey ed! Something just occurred to me.

Zinnia Jones is originally from Tinley Park, Illinois (not far from me), then she transitioned to Florida woman.

[ed]

Damn woman worrying the alligators.

[sparks]

A True Cunt.

[Witness]

Orangutan Granted Legal Personhood, Moves to Florida, Becomes Florida Woman

An orangutan who was granted legal personhood in a landmark 2015 ruling has moved into the Center for Great Apes in central Florida.

Judge Elena Liberatori's ruling declared that Sandra was legally not an animal, but a non-human person. That meant the orangutan was entitled to some legal rights enjoyed by humans, plus better living conditions, reports The Miami Herald.

"With that ruling I wanted to tell society something new, that animals are sentient beings and that the first right they have is our obligation to respect them," Liberatori said.

The 2015 ruling came after animal rights campaigners filed a habeas corpus petition—a document more typically used to challenge the legality of a person's detention or imprisonment—on behalf of the orangutan.

Sandra, 33, was born in Germany and spent 25 years at the Buenos Aires Zoo before arriving at her new home on November 5.

Patti Ragan, director of the center in Wauchula, Florida, said Sandra is adjusting to the center, joining 21 orangutans and 31 chimpanzees who have been rescued or retired from circuses, stage shows and the exotic pet trade.

https://www.newsweek.com/orangutan-gran ... an-1470533

[ed]

40mi away.

[Abdul Alhazred]

A True Cunt.

She would be happy if you really think that.

[Abdul Alhazred]

An orangutan who was granted legal personhood ...

Does this mean she has the legal right to marry an H. Sapiens?

Zinnia Jones for example?

[Witness]

Does this mean she has the legal right to marry an H. Sapiens?

I think she moved to be near ed… shush!

[Pyrrho]

Link: https://twitter.com/DPRK_News/status/1194065005517451265

[Witness]

Reminds of the Keystone Cops.