Why Florida is an awsome place to live

[ed]

An elderly man in Florida had owned a large property for several years. He had a pond in one of the lower acres that had been fixed up for swimming and he also had some picnic tables placed there in the shade of the fruit trees.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond to look it over, as he hadn’t been there for a while. He grabbed a large bucket to bring some fruit back with him.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. When he got around the trees and bushes, he saw it was a group of young women skinny dipping in his pond.

He called out so that they could see he was there. When they saw him, they started shrieking and moved to the deep end.

One of them shouted at the old man, “We’re not coming out until you leave!”

The old man frowned and said, “Now, I didn’t come here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond.”

Holding up the bucket and smiling, he said, “I’m just here to feed the alligator.”

<scribbles note "buy bucket">

[xouper]

• ‘This Is About a Woman’s Right to Win’: Female Activist Praises DeSantis for Defending Girls’ Sports
  https://www.breitbart.com/sports/2021/0 ... ls-sports/
  

  Republican Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis signed the Fairness in Women’s Sports Act into law on Tuesday and said the state is committed to protecting girls and women from the left’s efforts to allow biological males who “identify” as women to compete against biological females.
  
  . . . Florida is the eighth state to pass laws restricting sports participation to assigned birth gender, not gender identitiy.

[Witness]

Florida girl and boy, armed with AK-47, in shootout with deputies

Two children in Florida ran away from a group home, broke into a house and engaged in a shootout with law enforcement officers responding to the scene, authorities said on Wednesday.

A 12-year-old boy and a 14-year-old girl found guns inside a home they broke into in Enterprise, Florida, and fired on sheriff's deputies, the Volusia County sheriff's office said in a statement.

The girl was shot and wounded after she pointed a shotgun at deputies.

"The 12-year-old boy, armed with an AK-47, finally put down his weapon shortly thereafter and was not injured," the sheriff's statement said.
...
Unspecified charges against the children are pending, according to the sheriff's department.

The children had run away from Florida United Methodist Children's Home in Enterprise on Tuesday afternoon, the sheriff's department said.

A few hours later, they broke into a home. Passersby reported hearing glass breaking at the home, and alerted the deputies.

The officers surrounded the home. At that point gunfire erupted from the house, the sheriff's statement said. The home contained a handgun, a shotgun and the AK-47, along with a large amount of ammunition.

https://www.reuters.com/world/us/florid ... 021-06-02/

[Witness]

A Florida dad threw his infant at a deputy after a high-speed chase, sheriff's office says

A Florida man faces aggravated child abuse and other charges after hurling his infant at a deputy near the end of a high-speed chase, the Indian River County Sheriff's Office said.
The 32-year-old suspect is seen being tackled by law enforcement as a deputy cradles a baby in a sky-blue outfit, according to video released this week by the sheriff's office.
Deputy Jacob Curby told CNN affiliate WPEC the suspect -- who law enforcement identified as John Henry James III -- left his car carrying his baby after the pursuit the evening of May 26 and "just turned around, no regard, not a little toss" and "overhand threw this two-month-old at me from about six feet away."
Curby caught the baby, who was unhurt, the station reported. The sheriff's office said deputies were "able to relocate the baby to safety."

https://edition.cnn.com/2021/06/05/us/f ... index.html

Well, ed shoots a visitor or two in the knee when his gators become restive, so…

[Witness]

Florida's largest county OKs plan after spike in gun deaths

Florida’s largest county is advancing a nearly $8 million plan to reduce gun violence after a recent uptick in shootings

MIAMI -- Florida's largest county is moving forward after a recent spike in shootings with a nearly $8 million plan to reduce gun violence, seeking to focus on jobs for troubled teens and added funding for law enforcement.

Miami-Dade commissioners unanimously approved Mayor Daniella Levine Cava's proposal at a meeting Tuesday, which followed an uptick in gun violence that began Memorial Day weekend.

“This recent wave of tragic violence is absolutely unacceptable," Levine Cava said after the meeting. “This community has demanded an immediate response to protect public safety, and we are responding.”

The "Peace and Prosperity Plan" is being funded by a naming-rights deal made earlier this year with FTX, a trading platform for Bitcoin and other cryptocurrencies, for the county-owned arena where the Miami Heat play. FTX Arena had previously been called American Airlines Arena.

Most of the money is to go to a program that focuses on teenagers already in the juvenile-justice system by providing summer camps, counseling and paying jobs. Funds are also going toward surveillance cameras, license-plate readers and additional police to monitor social media for threats that could lead to shootings.

Last week, Miami-Dade police launched “Operation Summer Heat” as an effort to crack down on gun violence. The 12-week program involves an increased police presence, with 17 strike teams tasked with shutting down illegally run businesses, which officials say attract violent crime.

Early Tuesday morning, a man and woman riding in a car were killed in a drive-by shooting in Miami-Dade. A drive-by shooting early Sunday at a graduation party left three dead. Another shooting on Friday in Miami's Wynwood neighborhood killed one person and injured six others. A bloody Memorial Day weekend saw three people killed and 20 wounded in a still-unsolved mass shooting at a banquet hall.

https://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory/flo ... s-78161340

[xouper]

• Florida town accidentally sells municipal water tower
  https://www.foxbusiness.com/real-estate/florida-town-real-estate-transaction-mistake
  

  BROOKSVILLE, Fla. — A small town in Florida accidentally sold its water tower in a blundered real estate transaction.
  
  . . . Luckily for the town, [the buyer] was willing to give it back.

Sometimes the comments are as interesting as the story:

RickInIndy
1 day ago
This kind of incompetence is wasted at the local level. They should be holding federal positions.

Aside: I've been to Brooksville many times. And the photo accompanying the story is not it.

[sparks]

Faux News!!!11Eleventy

[xouper]

Faux News!!!11Eleventy

It was a straight news item printed verbatim from the Associated Press.

Got a problem with that?

ABC news reported the exact same thing.
https://abcnews.go.com/Weird/wireStory/florida-town-accidentally-sells-municipal-water-tower-78266830

More here:
https://duckduckgo.com/?q=BROOKSVILLE+Florida+accidentally+sold+its+water+tower

Here's a leftist news source with essentially the same story but with actual pictures:
https://www.tampabay.com/news/florida/2021/06/11/city-of-brooksville-accidentally-sells-its-water-tower/

[Pyrrho]

He was in for a hella surprise when he flushed the toilet.

[sparks]

Faux News!!!11Eleventy

It was a straight news item printed verbatim from the Associated Press.

Got a problem with that?

ABC news reported the exact same thing.
https://abcnews.go.com/Weird/wireStory/florida-town-accidentally-sells-municipal-water-tower-78266830

More here:
https://duckduckgo.com/?q=BROOKSVILLE+Florida+accidentally+sold+its+water+tower

Here's a leftist news source with essentially the same story but with actual pictures:
https://www.tampabay.com/news/florida/2021/06/11/city-of-brooksville-accidentally-sells-its-water-tower/

You really are tough to communicate with aren't you? Have you been this way all your life? And what kind of relationship did you have with your Mother? Were you in fact squeezed out of a twat or did you crawl out of a test tube? BTW, the shit you cited are not facts, just more bullshit on the interwebz. Since Ronnie "Rubberhead" Raygun trashed the Fairness Doctrine and the Communications Act of '34, no one has to tell the truth anymore. And so, they don't. Big fucking whoop.

[xouper]

[xouper]

. . . the shit you cited are not facts, just more bullshit on the interwebz. Since Ronnie "Rubberhead" Raygun trashed the Fairness Doctrine and the Communications Act of '34, no one has to tell the truth anymore. And so, they don't. Big fucking whoop.

Quoted for posterity, and so that I have the option of reposting it as a response to anyone who ever again cites anything from the interwebz as "evidences". I assume you will approve of having your opinion made widely known about this practice of citing sources by people on this forum. I mean, it's only fair that you get credit for it, right?

[robinson]

Obama opposed the fairness doctrine as well

[sparks]

Fuck you both.

[Grammatron]

Do facts hurt you?

[sparks]

No. Not when they're verifiable by multiple sources and/or experiments.

Dipshit.

Now, believe what you want. But don't expect me to just because you're buying the bullshit.

[Grammatron]

It's a fact that Obama opposes the Fairness Doctrine. A fact that makes you very angry for some reason.

[sparks]

And until you provide proof about that your statement is unfounded.

[robinson]

Oh my


He doesn’t know

[xouper]

And until you provide proof about that your statement is unfounded.

It's a matter of public knowledge. You can look it up on any source you trust.

Thus your claim that it is "unfounded" is itself unfounded. Checkmate.

But, just for the record, here's an example source:
https://www.politico.com/blogs/michaelcalderone/0209/Obama_opposes_Fairness_Doctrine.html

[Witness]

[ed]

Here ya go, a cute litte Fla. critter. Can you ID her? If not, it is best you stay home.

[robinson]

Black widow


Grew up with them

[robinson]

The brown recluse is far worse

[ed]

Thats a life sized photo. Our widows eat recluses.

This Is FLORIDA!!

[robinson]

You sound like a Yankee

[ed]

Tropical Storm Elsa has moved over Cuba and is now into the warm waters of the Florida Straits.

The system has time to strengthen a bit as it parallels the west coast of Florida in the next 24 hours before making landfall north of Tampa on Wednesday morning.

The latest National Hurricane Center advisory has upped Elsa’s winds to 70 mph before moving inland, which is just shy of a hurricane (74 mph). So there is now a hurricane watch issued for Florida’s west central and Big Bend Coast.

Piffle.

Scorn and defiance; slight regard, contempt, And any thing that may not misbecome The mighty sender, doth he prize you at.

[solely]

Florida is a great place if you enjoy oppressive hot & sticky humidity, lets face it you have
to welcome anything that stirs the air even slightly.

Welcome TS Elsa!

[shuize]

Thats a life sized photo. Our widows eat recluses.

This Is FLORIDA!!

We had lots of black widows in southern California.

I remember my high school biology teacher had an aquarium with several widows and scorpions. The spiders all hung out in the upper corners of the aquarium. Then one day we noticed that there weren't any more scorpions. But the spiders were still there parked next to several big bundles wrapped up in the upper corners of the aquarium.

I also remember my father the plumber telling me stories about having black widows crawl across his face when he worked under houses. (Ha! Ha!)

[ed]

Gonna make landfall just north of me.

No, not a boatload of illegals, the hurricane

[ed]

hahaha Gnome is gonna get drenched

[sparks]

He's already all wet, so no problems.

[Witness]

Conspiracy Theories

Trump cultist: Florida building collapsed because the ‘deep state knew someone important lived there’

Failed congressional candidate and QAnon conspiracy theorist DeAnna Lorraine appeared on the right-wing Stew Peters Show this Friday and injected her mind-numbingly stupid thoughts on the collapse of the 12-story Champlain Towers South on June 24 in Florida.

“Let’s just go over the facts, I mean, buildings do not just fall like that,” Lorraine said, echoing the rhetoric popular with 9/11 truthers.

“They just don’t fall in one fell swoop either,” she continued. “The only time I’ve ever seen that was at 9/11. And we all know that building didn’t just spontaneously fall either. This was a demolition.”

She also claimed that controversial software entrepreneur John McAfee, who was recently found dead in a Spanish jail due to suspected suicide, had links to the building.

“Someone important was in that building that they didn’t want there,” she said. “We know how the deep state operates. It’s not a conspiracy theory. It’s true, because it’s proven true over and over again, they’re dirty, they’re satanic, and they’re disgusting.”

“I believe that this is a deep state operation,” she said. “If John McAfee was an intelligent man, and he was, he would have had these terabytes of information in not just his own hands, but I’m sure he’s put the copies of those terabytes of information in other places.”

“And if he maybe put them and gave copies to his sons or his relatives, it would make sense that the deep state would want not only John McAfee dead, but anyone that they suspect has that information. It’s pretty damn obvious.”

https://deadstate.org/trump-cultist-flo ... ved-there/

Video of the interview: https://twitter.com/RightWingWatch/stat ... 7055306755

"Somebody important" living in a rotten Florida building, sure.

[robinson]

Anybody can make up anything

And the media can pick and choose what to show you


It’s exactly the same as it was 60 years ago

[Witness]

Florida breaks annual manatee death record in first 6 months



The Florida Fish & Wildlife Conservation Commission reported that 841 manatee deaths were recorded between Jan. 1 and July 2, breaking the previous record of 830 that died in 2013 because of an outbreak of toxic red tide.

The TCPalm website reports that more than half the deaths have died in the Indian River Lagoon and its surrounding areas in Volusia, Brevard, Indian River, St. Lucie and Martin counties. The overwhelming majority of deaths have been in Brevard, where 312 manatees have perished.

Some biologists believe water pollution is killing the seagrass beds in the area.

“Unprecedented manatee mortality due to starvation was documented on the Atlantic coast this past winter and spring,” Florida’s Fish and Wildlife Research Institute wrote as it announced the record Friday. “Most deaths occurred during the colder months when manatees migrated to and through the Indian River Lagoon, where the majority of seagrass has died off.”

Boat strikes are also a major cause of manatee deaths, killing at least 63 this year.

https://apnews.com/article/florida-mana ... be63365cc2

[Witness]

Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis is selling 'Don't Fauci My Florida' merch as the state reports some of the highest number of COVID cases in the US

• Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis is selling campaign merch that mocks COVID-19 expert Dr. Anthony Fauci.
• The new T-shirts and koozies read "Don't Fauci My Florida."
• Florida is battling some of the highest COVID-19 cases and deaths in the US.

https://www.businessinsider.com/ron-des ... ?r=US&IR=T

WaPo page on the Covid situation, if interested: U.S. coronavirus cases and state maps: Tracking cases, deaths - Washington Post

[Pyrrho]

https://boingboing.net/2021/07/19/flori ... esson.html

A 32-year-old Florida man is accused of wrestling with an alligator that he stole from a miniature golf course and later trying to hurl it onto the roof of a cocktail bar.

[robinson]

An c'mon man, who hasn't done that before?

[Witness]

Suspected candle thief in Florida injures dozens of people with bear spray during his escape, police say

A man in Doral, Florida, escaped from a mall store with stolen goods on Saturday by spraying everyone in his way with bear repellent, according to police.
At least 30 people required treatment for their injuries, Doral Police spokesman Rey Valdes told CNN.
About 15 of the mace victims were employees of Bath and Body Works at Miami International Mall. One had to be taken to the hospital after taking a direct hit of spray to the face, according to Valdes.
...
The suspect was last seen leaving the mall in a taxi […]

https://edition.cnn.com/2021/07/18/us/f ... index.html

[Ben Trovado]

Suspected candle thief in Florida injures dozens of people with bear spray during his escape, police say

A man in Doral, Florida, escaped from a mall store with stolen goods on Saturday by spraying everyone in his way with bear repellent, according to police.
At least 30 people required treatment for their injuries, Doral Police spokesman Rey Valdes told CNN.
About 15 of the mace victims were employees of Bath and Body Works at Miami International Mall. One had to be taken to the hospital after taking a direct hit of spray to the face, according to Valdes.
...
The suspect was last seen leaving the mall in a taxi […]

https://edition.cnn.com/2021/07/18/us/f ... index.html

Ok. I am sorry -- but 15 employees at a Bath and Body Works? That's crazy.


What? That wasn't the point?